Communication:
-Communication communication communication. You need to talk about everything, and i mean everything.
-If something is bothering you, you cannot expect them to know, because of the distance. So you need to be able to talk to them. Tell them you are upset. With the distance, you cannot behave like you would in a local relationship, you cannot be upset and expect them to know. Sometimes it is obvious, but even then, it is good habit to be straight forward: “I am a little upset right now. X, Y, and Z happened and I am not happy with it”.
-You do not need to tell them what you are doing every minute of everyday. But its important to talk about big events. Let them know when you're going somewhere (like out of the state/far away from home). Let them know if you're going to be unable to talk to them for a while/couple hours, so they are not worried when you do not text back at the usual time frame.
-Talk about money. Talk about how you're going to visit/afford visiting. Talk about who is visiting who, and when. Talk about the future so you know when (about when) the next visit will happen. Money is extra important in an LDR. You both need to be able to talk about it, negotiate, and save.
-Talk about HOW you will communicate, and how often, so one party isn't upset if you aren't communicating as much as previously discussed. This bring me to another point I will mention a bit later.
Trust:
-Trust your partner 100%, even if its hard.
-Do not suspect they are doing something, do not jump to conclusion.
-Do not “make them jealous” on purpose. That is stupid and childish.
-If you are feeling doubt. Remember that you love them. Remind yourself the distance is probably just playing with you.
-Have a rule that they are: innocent until proven guilty. It is not fair to condemn them for something that they probably haven’t even done unless they have proven it.
-TRUSTTT for the love of god trust. It is possible to get over trust issues. It requires a lot of work, but you need to.
Set Date Nights
-Talk about when you will have dates. Even with the distance you can have dates!
-Pick ONE day a week that no matter what, the two of you can guarantee you’ll be in communication with each other. So if something comes up during the week, you will know that you will talk at least that one day. If for some reason you cannot talk on date day… RESCHEDULE.
-Dates can be phone calls, or texts, or emails, however works best for you guys to communicate.
Parents:
-Don’t keep them from your parents. If you love them, why hide them?
-If you keep your relationship secret, are you ashamed? Don’t be ashamed unless you don’t love them.
-If you keep it from your parents, when they find out, they will be pissed. And if you are underage, there goes any chance of being able to visit.
Plans for the future:
-Talk about the future, Who is going to move where? How will you end the distance? You don’t need to end the distance right away, but If you plan on being together forever, it needs to end eventually. And this needs to be discussed early on. If neither of you plan on moving away, and you never talked about it, you both will be severely disappointed.
-Don’t change your dreams for your SO. Or you will resent them. If its always been your dream to go to college, don’t give up college to live with them. If they love you, they will wait until you’ve finished. If your dream is to go to a certain school, GO THERE, don’t trade that for a school closer, you know you will be upset with not doing what you wanted. If you end up resenting them, it will come up in a fight, and that will be a scar that wont ever heal.
-BE HONEST ABOUT EVERYTHING. If you don’t think you could ever leave your family, tell them that. If you don’t want to travel, tell them, if you want to wait longer before you move tell them. Everything needs to be out in the open.
-Ending the distance is HUGE, especially as the miles get farther. There’s no room to mess this up. Be honest, communicate, talk talk talk, and plan your future.
Other Notes:
-Having a countdown to the next visit is important. It helps ease the distance
-Give them little gifts to remind them of you.
-Talk about how you feel. With the distance, that helps. Plus a text that puts a smile on your face is a lovely feeling.
-Do stuff together, even with the distance, watch tv shows/movies, play games online/on smart phones. anything!
-Don’t hide your relationship from anyone, including friends. If your friends don’t support you, get better friends. haha.
-Find a way to fill your time: job, hobby, friends. It is important that you're not home all the time, you will just get upset about the distance. Fill your time (not spent communicating with your SO) with other things, it helps to distract yourself from the distance
Ways to communicate:
If you have smart phones use:
Whatsapp, Pair or iMessage (iMessage is automatic between two iPhones that have iOS 5.0 or higher and does not count as a text on your bill, therefore is free, you can use it on iPod Touches and iPads as well!)
If you don’t have smart phones use:
Regular texts, unless you’re not in the same country. Use AIM/MSN/Yahoo messenger/etc. Email. Tumblr. Facebook. Etc.
Webcam:
Use Skype or FaceTime, oovoo, facebook has webcaming now, Google + has hangouts, etc.
-Communication communication communication. You need to talk about everything, and i mean everything.
-If something is bothering you, you cannot expect them to know, because of the distance. So you need to be able to talk to them. Tell them you are upset. With the distance, you cannot behave like you would in a local relationship, you cannot be upset and expect them to know. Sometimes it is obvious, but even then, it is good habit to be straight forward: “I am a little upset right now. X, Y, and Z happened and I am not happy with it”.
-You do not need to tell them what you are doing every minute of everyday. But its important to talk about big events. Let them know when you're going somewhere (like out of the state/far away from home). Let them know if you're going to be unable to talk to them for a while/couple hours, so they are not worried when you do not text back at the usual time frame.
-Talk about money. Talk about how you're going to visit/afford visiting. Talk about who is visiting who, and when. Talk about the future so you know when (about when) the next visit will happen. Money is extra important in an LDR. You both need to be able to talk about it, negotiate, and save.
-Talk about HOW you will communicate, and how often, so one party isn't upset if you aren't communicating as much as previously discussed. This bring me to another point I will mention a bit later.
Trust:
-Trust your partner 100%, even if its hard.
-Do not suspect they are doing something, do not jump to conclusion.
-Do not “make them jealous” on purpose. That is stupid and childish.
-If you are feeling doubt. Remember that you love them. Remind yourself the distance is probably just playing with you.
-Have a rule that they are: innocent until proven guilty. It is not fair to condemn them for something that they probably haven’t even done unless they have proven it.
-TRUSTTT for the love of god trust. It is possible to get over trust issues. It requires a lot of work, but you need to.
Set Date Nights
-Talk about when you will have dates. Even with the distance you can have dates!
-Pick ONE day a week that no matter what, the two of you can guarantee you’ll be in communication with each other. So if something comes up during the week, you will know that you will talk at least that one day. If for some reason you cannot talk on date day… RESCHEDULE.
-Dates can be phone calls, or texts, or emails, however works best for you guys to communicate.
Parents:
-Don’t keep them from your parents. If you love them, why hide them?
-If you keep your relationship secret, are you ashamed? Don’t be ashamed unless you don’t love them.
-If you keep it from your parents, when they find out, they will be pissed. And if you are underage, there goes any chance of being able to visit.
Plans for the future:
-Talk about the future, Who is going to move where? How will you end the distance? You don’t need to end the distance right away, but If you plan on being together forever, it needs to end eventually. And this needs to be discussed early on. If neither of you plan on moving away, and you never talked about it, you both will be severely disappointed.
-Don’t change your dreams for your SO. Or you will resent them. If its always been your dream to go to college, don’t give up college to live with them. If they love you, they will wait until you’ve finished. If your dream is to go to a certain school, GO THERE, don’t trade that for a school closer, you know you will be upset with not doing what you wanted. If you end up resenting them, it will come up in a fight, and that will be a scar that wont ever heal.
-BE HONEST ABOUT EVERYTHING. If you don’t think you could ever leave your family, tell them that. If you don’t want to travel, tell them, if you want to wait longer before you move tell them. Everything needs to be out in the open.
-Ending the distance is HUGE, especially as the miles get farther. There’s no room to mess this up. Be honest, communicate, talk talk talk, and plan your future.
Other Notes:
-Having a countdown to the next visit is important. It helps ease the distance
-Give them little gifts to remind them of you.
-Talk about how you feel. With the distance, that helps. Plus a text that puts a smile on your face is a lovely feeling.
-Do stuff together, even with the distance, watch tv shows/movies, play games online/on smart phones. anything!
-Don’t hide your relationship from anyone, including friends. If your friends don’t support you, get better friends. haha.
-Find a way to fill your time: job, hobby, friends. It is important that you're not home all the time, you will just get upset about the distance. Fill your time (not spent communicating with your SO) with other things, it helps to distract yourself from the distance
Ways to communicate:
If you have smart phones use:
Whatsapp, Pair or iMessage (iMessage is automatic between two iPhones that have iOS 5.0 or higher and does not count as a text on your bill, therefore is free, you can use it on iPod Touches and iPads as well!)
If you don’t have smart phones use:
Regular texts, unless you’re not in the same country. Use AIM/MSN/Yahoo messenger/etc. Email. Tumblr. Facebook. Etc.
Webcam:
Use Skype or FaceTime, oovoo, facebook has webcaming now, Google + has hangouts, etc.
