Come on. Get your coat.
We gotta go.

-You have everything?

Hurry up, sweetie. We're late.

Ty. Today, papí.

You're killing me, Ty.
Right now, you're killing Mommy.

-Okay, let's go.
-It's not my fault, Mom.

You want to do
your speech for me?

Ty! Hello? That's better.

You don't have to listen
to that 24 hours a day.

Wait. It's Simon and Garfunkel.

That's why l tell you to tie your shoes.
I know. I'm sorry. Oh, my God.

-You can't just turn them off, Mom.
-I understand, baby. Come on.

-Careful of the puddle.
-Why'd they break up?

-Simon and Garfunkel.

You got me.
You can Google it at school.

Let's go.

Will l get in trouble
if l didn't give my speech?

Because l'm not really feeling it.

What do you mean? You've been
working all summer on that speech.

-I can't wait to hear it.
-It's boring.

Not to me or to abuela
or to your dad.

I thought we were meeting him after.

No way. He's coming, and then you
guys are going camping. Remember?

He's gonna be late,
and then everyone will see.

Look, he knows what time it starts.
Don't worry, he'll be there.

-Hey, look at me.

-You got something on your face there.

-Right there.
-Ma! Mom! Mom, no! Stop!

There it is. I got it!

-Hey, guys. How's it going?
-Hey, Ty.

What's up?
The speech thing is at : .

I know. Come here.
You got something on your face.


-I'm sorry. Mr. Cool Guy.

I love you.

Have a good day.

-Morning, Marisa.
-What's up, Cora? How my diamonds?

-They're hanging with your rubies.
-I like the sound of that.

-Just made it, Marisa.
-I always do.

-Good morning, Marisa.
-What's up, Keef?

How's the weather?
Sunshine. That's nice.

Anything good on?

He opened the door for the paper.
The wife just pushed him out.

That nasty butt first thing
in the morning, l'd kick him out too.

Oh, my God. Wait a minute. He's
one of mine, the lactose intolerant.

I like how you name the people.

What do you call me
behind my back, l wonder.

Yeah. Can l get a robe to the
Charles Suite ASAP? Thank you.

I call you God because you see
everything and you still smile.

-I'm cool with that. I surely am.
-I'll see you later, Keef.

A Beresford maid is expedient.
A Beresford maid is thorough.

A Beresford maid serves with a smile.

And above all, a Beresford maid
strives to be invisible.

Maybe we can disappear
one day altogether.

You know what l just heard?

Christina? History after the st.

Christina kitchen or
Christina assistant manager?

Assistant manager.
You know what that means?

Somebody else is gonna be
busting my ass on the nd.

Wrong. It means we're gonna
need an assistant manager.

-Yo, Barb, we still on for happy hour?
-Ten hours and counting.

Hey, Marisa, you here?

Can l finish getting dressed,
please? Thank you.

You're the one who keeps
talking about being a manager.

All l'm saying is, it could be you.

They're not gonna make
a maid a manager.

Why not? Today's a new day.
Anything's possible.

You know what l'm saying?

Friday morning, people!
Lots to do. Heads up.

Mr. Bextrum has an announcement
to make. Mr. Bextrum.

Christina Howard's promotion created
a vacancy that we've decided to fill...

...with in-house personnel.

-Perhaps one of our butlers.
-Excuse me, Mr. Bextrum, sir?

-Yes, Miss Kehoe?
-Can a maid apply?

Technically, if an employee's been
here for three consecutive years...

...he or, indeed, she,
is qualified to apply.

So yes. Sure. Absolutely.
Why not? Anything is possible.

You hear that?
The man said anything's possible.

Yeah, l guess he did.

On to new business.

Mr. Radcliff is checking out of .
Mr. Greenwald is checking in.

He's back on the wagon,
so let's clear out the minibar.

Kanaa CFO, Mr. Fukimoro,
is checkina into .

Stock Evian, shampoo the ruas
and extra slippers for his auests.

Marisa, heads up
on the Madison Suite.


Mrs. Saae is arrivina
with the children...

...preferably after Mr. Saae's
airlfriend departs.

You son of a bitch!

Let's make sure it's
a smooth transition.

The Guedj sisters are back.
We'll track them on surveillance...

...but do keep an eye on all
bathrobes, cutlery and liaht fixtures.

Sotheby's director, Caroline Lane,
has switched from the Four Seasons.

She requested a park view...

...and favors purple orchids
and lavender scents.

Assemblyman Chris Marshall
arrives today.

He's aearina up his campaian... his suite will be doublina
as a conference center...

... with the liquor and coffee bars
turnina over every four hours.

And he's brinaina his larae doa,
so we'll need proper accouterments.

And finally, Mr. Newman is back
in the Sherman Suite.

Careful, ladies, he's a full Monty.

-I had no idea anyone was here.
-Don't worry about it, Mr. Monty.

No big deal.

-And l do mean no big deal.
-No big deal.


-You're very creative, Marisa.
-Thank you, ma'am.

Since you have to leave at :
go find Lionel and have him sign off.

-Sir, l need you to sign off on the--

Oh, good Lord. Here, let me.

-Here you go.
-Thank you.

Oh, God. Your hand's bleeding.

Here. Squeeze tight.

Damn. He's checked in.

Quote, "Sentimental favorite
Chris Marshall...

...blah, blah, blah...

...son of late Senator
Graham Marshall, blah, blah... expected to run for his father's
seat in the next election."

-End quote.
-Let me see that. Let me see it, Jerry.

You don't need to see it. No.

-Give it here.
-Fine. But l hadn't finished it yet.

"Sentimental favorite
and playboy politico...

...Assemblyman Chris Marshall...."
Guess you missed a few words, Jer.

What, " playboy"?
That's a compliment.

"Who called off his engagement
to über babe Daniella Van Graas...

...arrives in town solo."
Respectful, huh?

Well, listen, you know, you're
a public figure. It's news. So what?

We were never engaged.
Whose side are you on?

Yours. That's why sometimes
you have to listen to me.

-Every now and again it might be nice.

Welcome to the Beresford,
Mr. Marshall.

-My name is Lionel.

-I'm the floor butler.

If there's anything you need,
please call me.

Thank you. This is Jerry,
and this is Dan, and the dog is Rufus.

Thank you, Lionel.
Nice to meet you. Thanks.

We'll call you if we need you. Chris,
will you look at me, please? Chris?

-Can you look at me for a minute?
-What? l am looking at you.

We're going to Maddox's thing
on Monday night.

No, Jerry, we're not.

See, this is when l wish your
old man were here to back me up.

-I said, l wish your old man...

-...were here to back me up.
-My father had no use for that man.

Your father knew how
to use that man.

-Where are you going?

-That depends. Where are you going?
-Bathroom. Alone.

-Yeah. Fine. Go. Great. Yeah. Sure.
-Thank you.

Call me if you need anything.

Oh, my God. I'm sorry, sir.

Thank you.


Thank you. Thank you very much.
I'm so clumsy.

-Happens to all of us. Here.
-Thank you.

-Let me help you.
-Thank you.

-Where do those go?
-Caroline Lane. Park Suite.

She just checked in with a request
for immediate unpack and press.

Here. Blood and Dolce:

Thank you. Thank you.

I mean, there are limits.

You're so bad. You really are, Rach.

Yes, just hold on a second.

Thank you. Anything, l mean,
it's up and down.

One day, we're looking at rings,
and the next day, we're breaking up.

Yeah. No way.

So l...

...had my assistant accidentally forward
my calendar for the week to his e-mail.

Of course, l added a few extra lunch
dates and dinner parties with my ex.

Fantastic, right?

Eric will be furious.

-That needs pressing.

But let's not forget Eric trades
commodities for a living.

A little competition right now
might increase my market value.

Listen, my darling, l'm going
to be late. I'll call you later, okay?

Excuse me. Sorry.

Could you just hold up those two
outfits that Dolce sent over earlier?

These two?

Well, l just simply can't tell
without the stockings.

Could l ask you an enormous favor?

I mean, l know this isn't your job,
and l'd never normally ask, but l'm so....

-It's okay.
-You're such a doll.

Would you run down to Madison
and get me three pairs of pantyhose?

-The concierge usually does that.
-Yes, but it will get lost in translation.

Please. You look like
you're someone...

...who knows the difference
between taupe and caramel.


Here. Thank you so much.

-Oh, and sorry.

Can you send someone else
to finish the unpacking, please?

-Right away.


Attention! Somebody's coming!

-You think it's gonna rain?
-Maybe. It's possible.

-Hi, where's the fire?

I just got sent on an errand.
I'm already late.

-Get these pressed for me?
-Sure, in my spare time.

By the way, two poodles
raiding your cart.

-Can't be late for Ty!

Mary Anne, if you don't wear
that dress, l'm gonna come over.

I'm gonna go in your closet.
I'm gonna put it on for you.

Wait. Hold on a sec.

Excuse me, miss?
Where are you going?

-In back to see if Carrie's here.
-Carrie's not here.

So could you just step away?


Away. Away from there.
Thank you.

Hi. Sorry. Okay, so you go first.

No, you! No, you.

Get out.

-Get out.
-Excuse me, just a moment.

You know what? l have customers,
so go on quick.

Yeah. Then what?

No, he didn't.

-No, he didn't.
-Can l just ask you one question?

You know what, ma'am?
You have to wait. Okay?

What? No, a maid.

-I don't know.

-You can't be back here.

What are you doing?

Being that we're sisters
in the service business...

...and l'm in a rush...

...l'd say you start serving
your low-end customers...

...because that's
the reason you're here.

Unless we're not good enough
for you to service.

In which case,
l'm sure your manager is.

What do you say, ladies?
Am l right or am l right?

-You're right.
-Oh, yes.

-Sorry, Mom.
-Baby, where were you?

Keef, do me a favor.

These go to the goddess
in the Park Suite.

-I got you. Don't forget the bags.
-Thank you.

Are you ready?

-I'm not gonna have time to change.
-Sure you do. We'll be a little late.

No, Ma, we cannot be late, okay?

-Come on.
-I was on time.

Are they here yet?


Yeah. Marcus. Yeah.

No, l can't hear you.

-When's Ty's speech aaain?
-I'll get it.

In minutes, at : .

-And you cannot be late.


-You're just breaking up. What?
-I can't be there. I'm in Miami.

-Please tell me you're kidding.
-I'm in Miami with Muasy.

Don't do this to me, Marcus.

Don't let him get away with it.
Be strong, Marisa.

What am l supposed
to tell him this time?

-This weekend is the holiday.
-I know.

-He's counting on it.
-He'll aet over it.

-I'll take him at Christmas, okay?
-Tell somebody who believes you.

I gotta go.

That shit.

This fell out of your bag. Is it yours?

Yeah, thanks.

Management, huh?

Que fancy.


I'm not saying a word.

Can you not say a word
somewhere else?

And our next speaker
will be Ty Ventura.

Richard Milhous Nixon...

:::was a man
of many contradictions.

Even though
he is remembered in history... the only president
to ever resign...

...his foreign policies
and his relations with China...

...opened up the Western door
to Eastern--

I mean, Eastern door
to Western ties.

That's enough.

Born a Quaker,
he was nevertheless....

He was responsible for bombing...

...for the violent bombing of....

Richard Nixon was born in....

Hey, baby.

They were all laughing at me,
and then l lost my words.

You know, it happens
sometimes, honey.

I never want to do that again, okay?

You're going to do better next time.


All right, we'll talk about it later...

...because l got something for you.
The new Nixon tapes.

Come on, you know
you wanna open it.


Oh, papí.

I'm sorry.

Where's Dad?

He had a construction job
in Poughkeepsie.

It was paying time and a half,
and he had to do it, baby.

It's okay.

So you'll hang out with me
at the hotel this weekend, okay?

A married guy was buying
clothes for his girlfriend.

I know. He gave me
his number yesterday.

-What's up, Frannie, Michelle?
-Good morning.

-Hey, Ty, how are you?
-What's up, Ty?


We're here.

Hey, are you going to keep me
company today, Ty?


Now, he's got books and puzzles
and all kinds of fun stuff. Right, baby?

-I'm on if you need me, okay?

So l'll see you at lunchtime.

You all right?

I'm cool.

You know, l am really sorry
about all this.

It's not your fault.

-See you later. Thank you.

What's with the face?

He's a kid. He has
a whole hotel to play with.

-We come here every day.
-He'll have a ball.

You said it.

-You need to loosen up.
-I'm not interested.

-Why are you stealing my tissues?
-I need them.

While you're there, get me soap,
shower caps, some Kiehl's.

We need some fun in our lives.
Be spontaneous, kick up our skirts.

-The expression is " heels."
-Maybe for you.

-I'm with you, girl.
-You only live once.

-You know. Come on.

Live it, girl.

I'm living.

I'm living.

Come on, help me clean the
Park Suite. You're not doing nothing.

Oh, sorry. Aren't you
the maid l had yesterday?

-Yes, ma'am.
-Oh, fantastic. I need another favor.

I'm late for lunch,
otherwise l'd do it.

Would you run down to the boutique
and return the outfits in the closet?

-Sure, l'll take care of it.
-Thank you. You're the best.


-Who's she?
-She's the goddess.

She's staying in the Park Suite.
You two have a lot in common.

Yeah? Then why am l the one
wearing the uniform?

What l meant was
that she also has a boyfriend...

...who she's been with for a while,
who still has not popped--

Her cherry?
Because then we'd be identical.

-What are you looking at?
-I meant the question.

My God, is your mind always...

...on the pepperoni?

That's right, baby.

All right, here's the difference
between me and the goddess.

She's playing games
to trick him into wanting her--

-And you're what?
-I'm working hard for the money.

Speaking of which, you hand
in your application? Management?


What are you doing?

-Dolce, nice.
-No, no, come on, get out of there.

I'm just taking a little peek.
They're going back anyway.

You're gonna get us in trouble.

Hello, ladies.

Leave that stuff alone. Come on.

You're supposed to be
helping me out in here.

Feel this material.

I mean, it's like butter.

Oh, my God.

This stuff is $ .

For one white outfit?
How do you keep it clean?


Oh, yeah.
They're a you're a .

What are you doing?
What are you doing?!

And shoes too.

Shoes. Size . Perfect.

-I'm a l .
-Which means you're an .

Just put on some gym socks,
you're good to go.

That's it. Put this stuff back.
What are you doing?

Not until you try it on.

I can't try on her clothes!

They're not hers. They're not Dolce's.
Technically, they've been abandoned.

Let's not let them hear us.

Who, the clothes?

Marisa Ave Maria Ventura...

...when will you or l ever get
to try on a $ anything?

Come on, feel how
the other half feels, huh?

Hey, Lily, what are you doing?

Hey. I'm sewing on a button.

What's the cook making for lunch?

Saturday, you'll have
mac and cheese.

Where you going?

Around. I'll be right back.

-Stay close, okay?


Rufus, come here.
Come here. Sit.

-Where are you going?
-For a walk.

No, there's a League of Women Voters
lunch downstairs.

-We should do a drive-by.
-A quick pit stop?

Yeah, in and out.
Leave them laughing.

-Hey, Jer, quick question. Be honest.
-Sure thing.

Do l look as stupid
as you think l am?

No. I mean, you're not stupid.
What are you talking about?

-Come on.
-Where are you going? No.

You have a problem
with the ladies' lunch?

I have a problem trying to upstage
Victor Delgado. Remember him?

The guy running against me for Senate,
scheduled to speak downstairs?

He's not speaking until : .

I know this offends your sense
of fairness, but l'd like to win.

-You don't give up.
-No, of course not.

That's why you hired me.
Look, you go to the luncheon, okay?

You go to Maddox's thing on Monday.
" Hello," "goodbye," you're home free.

Define "free."

Look, they have people who will
walk your dog for you.

-I mean, l know that's a crazy idea.
-I want to walk my own dog.

Relax. You're starting
to lose your hair.

He's friendly.

-His name is Rufus.
-Hey, Rufus.

So, what are you listening to?

-The Best of Bread.
-Best of Bread? lnteresting.

What's your name?

-Nice to meet you, Ty. I'm Chris.

I'm bald and no one in particular.

I know who you are.

Yeah? What do you know?

I know that you're
the state assemblyman.

I know you're thinking
of running for senator.

I know your voting record and
your stand on environmental causes.


-Look, l hate to interrupt, but--
-Are you Republican?



Richard Nixon was Republican.

So what?

-He lied.
-So, what does that mean?


Who told you to ask
these questions?


What press are you affiliated with?

I'm .

Your parents?
Democrat or Republican?

-What's the difference these days?
-I love this kid.

Well, what's not to love?

-Where you going?
-I'm gonna walk Rufus.

What, are you writing a book?
ln minutes, okay?

-One pee.
-If Mom says okay, can l come?

-If my mom says okay, can l come?

-Sure. Where's your mom?
-Back on . Park Suite.

No, you know what, Chris?
You're in a hurry.

-He doesn't have time.
-No, he's in a hurry. I'm fine.

-You take him.

I'll go up with you.
I forgot his ball anyway.

I don't want to-- Wait!

Hold on!

Hi, honey. It's Ty!

What are you doing up here?

Where's Mom?

It's for you, ma'am.

What are you talking about?
Ty, don't you--?

Hey, Ma, this is Chris. He's got
a giant gray dog named Rufus.

And if you say okay,
l'm gonna go walk with him, okay?


Let's not forget. I'm a kid and l need
fresh air. Please, can l go, Mom?

I'm Chris Marshall.

Caroline... want your coat?

-The weather can be so tricky here.

Weren't you saying
what a beautiful day it was?

Oh, you're going out?

Weren't you saying how you
wanted to stretch your legs?

Well, if your husband
wouldn't mind....

She doesn't have a husband.

-I don't have a husband.
-I insist, then.

-Come with us, if you're free.

-Come on, Mom.
-Here we go.

I can't.

-Put these on.
-The shoes are too big.

Have a good time. Have fun.

-Come on, Ty, let's go find Rufus.
-Come on, Mom.

Mr. Marshall, John Bextrum,
hotel manager.

This is fun.

-So be cool, okay?

What's this?

If that slips out again,
tuck it in for me.

And the night before.
You're not answering your pager.

-Really? l never got the message.

You said you'd take us to Niketown.

Well, here, l'll go down with you.

Beautiful ensemble.

How does she keep it clean?


You think that's the new girlfriend?

For tonight.

Ladies, would you like to join us?


Au revoir.



Come on, Rufus, just pee
because l have stuff to do.

-Pee! Lift your leg.
-Jerry Siegel, is that you?

Hey, Maddox, how are you?
Small world.

You know Victor Delgado.

Victor, Jerry Siegel,
Chris Marshall's right-hand.

-You groom also?
-That's good.

I was showing Victor our new
building on th. Wanna join us?

No, l can't. I'm jammed.
I've got--

-I can see that.
-Well, l mean--

Don't forget to scoop.

Kill! Kill! Rufus! Kill!

Let's go. You're gonna
have to hold it. Come on!

Okay, l'll handle it.
Walk to the park.

I'll get Rufus and Jerry,
and we'll catch up. Go ahead.

Guys, there's nothing here.
Just an old friend and her son.

-She got a name?
-Yeah, " Unidentified Old Friend."

You give me this,
l'll give you minutes...

...inside the benefit,
Monday night.

You'll get us in at the Met?

-You got it.
-Open bar?

-Don't push it.
-Thank you.

Come on, Rufus.

Did you have fun
with mean, old Jerry?

A great time!
lt was perfect timing.

Both Delgado and Maddox
saw me walking your goddamn dog.

See, you should get out more.
Come on, Rufus.

He's gonna be there.
He's gonna be there at : .

I want you there at : okay?
All right? Okay?

Bye. I'm going to shower.

I just borrowed them.
Pretty hot, though, huh?

I just borrowed them.
Pretty hot, though, huh?

-Wait up!
-Don't say anything. Just act--

I couldn't do it.
All those photographers all the time.

You don't know what you can do
until you have to.

There's not a lot of choice.
You get used to it.

-Can l take him?
-Sure. Go ahead.

-Be careful. He's strong.
-Come on.

-Be careful and stay close.
-I will.

Hang on!

Thanks for this.
He's been a little down lately.

Then yesterday, he gave a speech
at school, and he messed it up.

It was bad.

Speeches can be tricky.
What happened?

I don't know.
He just froze and ran off-stage.

Now he has this thing about speaking
in public. He's all freaked out.

I always get nervous
before l go on.


Well, not always.
Just sometimes.

-Mr. Marshall?
-Look at the dogs.

What a surprise, a dog walker.
Let me guess. Jerry sent you.

Yeah, to get Rufus.

-Is that Rufus?
-That's him.

He's beautiful.

-Can l?

-Hey, buddy!
-Can l have him?

-Thank you.

-Ma, can l go play?
-Yeah, go ahead.

This is for you.

-Thank you.
-Bye. Let's go.

It's from my nanny.

Do you want to sit down?

-Over here.

Cool, l won't get dirty.

Oh, Lord! l almost sat on your face.
Right there.

Ty seems like a terrific kid.

Thanks. I'm kind of crazy
about him.

I've never met a -year-old
Nixon aficionado.

Yeah, l know. Last year,
they studied the ' s at school...

...and he's become obsessed
with the politics, the music.

He was reading
the Kissinger biography.

-You're kidding!

I'm waiting for him to discover another
decade. Until then, l'm learning a lot.

Well, l think it's great.

-You do?
-I do.

Guess what? l threw a stick
in the air, and Rufus caught it!

-Yeah. I'm gonna go do it again.

So how long are you
in town for?

I'm not sure.

You always stay at the Beresford?

Sometimes l feel like l live there.

So, what brings you here?

-What do you do?

-Oh, my God! : by the tree.

Check it, : .

That's Eddie Yatter.

-What does he want?
-He's paparazzi. I can't shake him.

He works for Blanton Maddox...

...whose goal lately is
to catch me with another woman... his sleazy tabloid can say
that l've broken up with--

Your supermodel fiancée?

Oh, God! Ty!

-Come on!

-I just realized that you--
-Excuse me?

-Sorry, it's just that my face is--

-What's wrong with your face?
-It's stuck to your--

What's that?

-Oh, God. Oh, God! Get it off.
-Here, let me. It's okay.

Oh, my God! Did l get
anything on it? ls it okay?

It's perfect.


Don't believe everything you read.

-Any of it true?

Well, we were seeing each other.
Now we're seeing less of each other.

It's complicated.

I want to show you something.
Follow me.

Oh, God.

-Let me help you.
-I got it. It's fine. I'm good.

Don't worry about me.

Look at that.

It's like two different worlds.

-Interesting perspective, huh?

And l'd like to point out
it's paparazzi-free.

You know when l come here most
is when l have to make a speech...

...and l get nervous.

-You get nervous?

See that?

Sometimes when l have
to stand up in front of people... heart kind of races,
and l can't remember my words.

-Same here. I know.
-Really? Same with you?

Wow. Well, in my business,
it's not a good thing.

-What do you do?
-What do l do?

I want to show you something.

I hold on to this.

A paper clip?
Was that a paper clip?

It was.
I had to find something... draw the nervous energy
away from my heart.

Like a....

-Like a lightning rod?
-Like a lightning rod. Exactly.

All the energy
goes into the paper clip.

And then what's left is....

Your speech.

Yeah, a smooth,
and l'd like to think...

...very compelling speech.

Some of the best speakers
in history...

...a paper clip.

Let me see, Henry Kissinger.

He wasn't known
for his speaking abilities.

No, he wasn't, was he?

Well, imagine what he would've
been like without the:

-He would've really sucked.
-He would've what?

-Really sucked.

So maybe you'll try again?

Hey, Ma,
can we go see the penguins?

-Let's go see penguins.
-Five minutes.

-You're a bad influence.
-I am?

Hurry up!

Look at this guy go.

They're so funny.

They look like little, fat,
short guys with tuxedos.

Speaking of fat guys in tuxedos,
there's this thing Monday night.

It's a black-tie.
It's a $ -a-plate dinner.

-Oh, my God. $ per plate?
-$ a plate.

-I hope you get to keep the plate.
-You can if you want.

What is it for?

For the inner-city literacy campaign,
something l support.

It's a big benefit that Maddox
throws every year.

It's not quite as boring as it sounds.
I don't know, are you interested?

Wait a minute. Isn't that the guy who
hired Yatter to get pictures of you?

Yes, it is.

I don't get it.
Why would you go?

I go because-- I go--
It's exposure.

Won't everyone know you're there
just to expose yourself?

Well, l kind of
have to expose myself.

-When you put it that way--
-I didn't. You put it that way.

I don't care how much
you pay for dinner.

You shouldn't serve yourself up,
no matter what the cause.

So why don't you tell me
what you really think.

You really want me
to tell you what l think?

If Mr. Wanton Maddox, or whatever
his name is, really wants to help...

...why doesn't he give the $
per plate to the inner-city schools?

And eat a little bit lighter that night,
you know?

So why don't you come with me
and tell him yourself.


...l'm busy. Sorry.

You're busy, you can't?
What? Can you change it?

It's complicated.

Which reminds me, l gotta get
out of here. Come on, we gotta go.

-We gotta go. We're gonna be late.
-Do we have to?

-I gotta get back.

This can't be it. Come on,
we haven't seen the snakes.

Except for Yatter.

It was nice meeting you,
Chris Marshall.

We're late. We gotta go.
Come on.

Here, Ty....

-Don't use them all on one speech.
-I won't.

-Keep up the good voting record.
-I'll do my best.

" lt's complicated."
What kind of answer is that?


The only thing complicated between
me and him would be my bra strap.

Look, what am l supposed to do?
Make his bed with me in it?

Get real!

-He thinks l'm a guest here.
-All right. All right.

But just tell me what he was like.

Sexy eyes.

And nice lips.

What about the hands?
Were they big?

-They were perfect.
-Perfect works.

-Who? What?

-Marisa Ventura, are you back there?
-Oh, my God, it's Paula!

What are you doing?

I just....
I spilled something on my apron... l was cleaning it,
and she was helping me tie it.

Mr. Bextrum wants to see you
in his office right now.

Oh, shit!

Look who's here.
Let's review the last hour, okay?

Delgado killed while you were
out walking that goddamn dog.

-You got a pen that works?
-Sure. Here you go.

-Anything else l can do for you?
-No, that's good, thanks.

Get this note to the woman
in the Park Suite.

Her name is Caroline.

-Can you handle that for me?

-Thank you.
-Who's Caroline in the Park Suite?

Someone l met.
You wanted me to have an escort...

...for that Maddox literacy thing
on Monday night.

But l was thinking more of a blind,
ex-illiterate senior citizen who learned... read while fighting Nazis.
-I thought your mother was in Florida.

Just make sure she's not married,
on medication...

...or a Democrat.
Did you check, or--?


Sure, okay, great.
Can l talk to you for a second?

I want you to find out who
Caroline is in the Park Suite.

Don't write it down.
Just remember it.

Thanks. Good job.

Come in, Miss Ventura.

I assume you know the reason
you've been called here.

I think so. Yes, sir.

Do you know what the foundation
of a great hotel is?


Loyalty and trust.

Would you say those are qualities
that you possess?

I would. Yes, sir.

Miss Burns agrees.

And she's urged me
to consider you.

We had no idea you were
interested in management...

...until Miss Kehoe brought us
your application.

By the way, you forgot
your social security number...

...and your mother's maiden name.

If you just fill them in
and sign right there. Perfect.

Normally, you'd go through the program
and train for a year as a butler, but--

-Given the circumstances--
-Due to overbooking and understaffing...

...we decided to accelerate
your application.

And move you into management
after the six-week training.

With the proviso that you
pass the practical exam...

...and fulfill each requirement
for every station.

So you see, Miss Ventura,

...when life shuts one door,
it opens a window.

So jump.

Steph, where are you?
l know you're in here.

-Don't tell me you're busted.
-No, you are.

You know what?
You had no right!

What are you talking about?

You filled out
an application for me?

-They're considering you.
-Do you know what you've done?

-I did you a favor.
-No. If you wanna do me a favor...

...then mind your own business
once in a while.

For two years, you've yapped
about getting out of uniform...

...and what ideas you got.

This morning, l'm having coffee
with Rosalie from personnel...

...and l ask her.
I go, " Marisa got a shot?"

She goes, " Marisa who?"
l go, " Marisa Ventura. She's applied."

She goes, " lf she applied,
l'd slip it to the top of the pile."

So l just act real nonchalantlike
and l go, "Are you sure?"

So she goes, she double-checks,
and she tells me:

" Marisa Ventura ain't never applied
for no management program ever."

Imagine my shock and dismay.

My own partner,
lying to me like that.

Then l figured maybe you were
too chickenshit, so l did it myself.

If they took you,
you'd be happy.

And if they didn't, you wouldn't know
the difference. So sue me!

These are the golden years.
We gotta prove our mothers wrong.

Don't waste them.

What we did today was wrong.

But you didn't really lie.
Not technically.

Now you're starting
to sound like Nixon.

Letting someone believe
something's true when it's not... just as much
a lie as a lie is.

I let him think l was staying in the
suite, not cleaning it. I'm the maid.

I hate to break it to you,
but l don't think he's after your money.

I can't believe you just said that!

Just get my keys in my pocket,
please. This is hot.

Good job.

All right, sweetie.
Behave yourself, okay?

-Thank you.
-My pleasure.

Can l borrow this?

-Of course.
-Thank you.

Baby, bye.

And remember,
all security IDs...

...will need to be rephotographed
starting next week.

I think that's all.
Thank you very much.

Barbara, Clarice,
come with me, please.

-Have you seen this?
-No. What?

Well, let me show you.

Give me this.

Yeah. So?

What do you mean, "so"? What if
somebody from the hotel sees it?

I hate to break the bubble.
You can't tell it's you.

-Don't worry about it.
-It's the front page of the paper today.

Stop. You do one spontaneous thing,
you think you're going to hell.

Do you understand
this could be bad?

Don't be such a Catholic. Please.
Come on.

Good morning.
Nice to see you.

-Can l steal him away for a second?

-Let me steal you away.
-Excuse me.

-I want to talk to you.
-What's the problem?

This! Do you know
what this is gonna cost me?

An entire day of doing nothing
but covering your ass.

I'm getting calls from The London
Times, The Washinaton Post...

...the Chicaao Sun, asking
about her identity, her background...

...who the kid is. A kid!

Just when l get them to focus on your
assets, they're focusing on hers.


Yeah, well, they're fantastic assets,
don't you think?

Squeezing the circle
tighter and tighter and tighter...

...and release.
Let's try that again.

And squeeze the circle
tighter, tighter...

-...and relax.
-Sorry, l'll come back.

That's okay.
You can work around us.

We could use some more towels,
por favor. Rapido.

Squeezing the circle tighter...

...and tighter and tighter.

Radiating from the pelvis.

Good. Breathe.


Are you all right?

Twinkles, is it Eric?
l knew it.

He hasn't called once.

Not my cell, not the service,
not the hotel.

So last night l called him, and--
Rach, he was with....

I can't. It's like cheap wine.

-Shall we do some band work, ladies?
-Go on, l'm listening.

-I heard her in the background.
-The cheap wine?

His ex, in midlaugh.

Butler service, Miss Lane.

I have a message
from Mr. Christopher Marshall.

Christopher Marshall?

As in, Christopher Marshall?

He's staying in the York Suite
and was wondering...

...if you had a response
to the luncheon invitation...

...l placed in your room yesterday.

-We're through. Thank you.
-In my room?

-I have to charge the full hour.

-For lunch?

-For two.
-Get out!

-In his suite.

This is a miracle.

-Shall l give him an answer?
-Yes. Tell him yes. What time?

- p.m.
-She'll be there. Thank you.

When did this go down?

We met at this thing
in Southampton last summer.

I thought we had a moment.

" Can you steal away an hour,

-You think he saw you in the hall?
-Who cares? What should l wear?

You look good in anything.

But l didn't bring a thing!

Let's see.

Maria, thank goodness.
I need a favor. It's urgent.

Could you get those outfits
you returned for me yesterday?

There's this divine
Dolce cashmere coat. It's just--

Actually, they're still in the closet.
I thought you might want a second look.

You are so good.
Thank God!

-You should be a personal assistant.
-She's a maid.

-So are they, with better titles.
-Actually, l'm up for a position.

What do you think?

Dolce coat, Gucci pants...

...or Ralph Lauren skirt,
Manolo pumps?

They're both divine!
Let's see.

How about the pants, open sandals,
see-through blouse...

...colored bra and carry
the Dolce coat for effect.

-She barely speaks English.

-Excuse me?

Maria, what do you think?

What about the beaded skirt
with that beige...

...crocheted halter
you have in the closet?

You know, casual sexy.
No stockings.

Definitely eighty-six the coat.
It sends the wrong message.

Like you're going someplace.

Besides, that whole see-through
blouse, colored-bra thing...

...reads a little desperate, older gal,
trying too hard. Don't you think?

You want to make him work for it.

Who does she think she is
to talk to me like that?

Thank you, Maria.

I have two words for you,
Rachel Hoffberg: Eric who?

Excuse me. Sorry.

Yes, that's it.

All handles parallel
with the right elbow.

Review your protocols
for table setting and wine service.

We're serving lunch
at the York Suite today.

Butler service, Mr. Marshall.

Come on in.

Rufus, it's okay.
Thank you.

Water glasses inches east
of the wine goblets.

-Make a perfect triangle.
-Yes, sir.

Hold on, l'm coming.

You're an animal lover too!
So am l.

I just can't get enough of them.

What a wonderful idea.
Lunch à deux. Lovely!

I just knew that we made
a connection at the...

...Feathered Friends Tournament.


How sweet of you to remember.

But l hope you didn't think
l needed reminding.

Teddy Parrish sends you his best.

Oh, Teddy.

Right. Yeah.

How is Teddy?

Drinking again,
but you didn't hear it from me.

Excuse me,
l gotta check on something.

Of course.

Who is that over there?

Caroline Lane.

No. No, it's not her.

-It's not her?

The Maddox thing.

-Are you going?
-Of course.

You know who l can't figure out
where l know them from?

The woman visiting you
the other day...

...kind of Mediterranean,
with a little boy about .

Rachel Hoffberg, Mediterranean?
She's from Westport.

She's premenopausal,
but don't tell her l said so.

You're staying in the Park Suite,
right, Caroline?

Yes. Yes, l am.


Well, it's the damnedest thing.

This salmon is perfect.

Your whole presentation today
has been excellent. Well done.

Thank you.

Make sure you tuck it in tightly.

She's about ' ", dark hair,
really beautiful, has a kid named Ty.

What the hell happened?

-I'm sorry, sir.
-Don't be sorry. Just find her.

Chris, l loved your quote
in The Times.


We're all here to try to land
the Rothford Estate. It's worth zillions.

And Sotheby's are counting on me
to lock the whole thing up.

-Thank you so much.

Rufus, come here.

Thank you.

Sit. Sit.

Maria, could l have a little water,

-Good boy.
-Such a sweet dog.

Allow me.

-That will be all.
-You know Nettie Rothford.


She and l virtually grew up together.

Her place was bang
next to Daddy's on the Vineyard.

-Right there.
-Good evening.

Another interesting day now,
huh, Marisa?

-I don't know. Was it?
-You tell me.

Nice lunch?

All right, what's up, mystery man?

How many times you watched
the monitors with me?

How many times we enjoyed
the comings and goings?


You know what?
You over there, nosy body.

You know l'm beholden
to report employees misbehaving.

And there's only one thing
could make me shut my mouth.

You dirty old man.

You're in trouble.
What are you laughing at?

About the silver soap dishes....

Rach, darling, l'll just be a sec.

-Hi, l'm Caroline Lane--
-In the Park Suite, yes.

-I called about a ticket to the--
-Benefit. Monday night.

We were able to procure you a single
at a table adjacent to Mr. Marshall's.

Fantastic! And how much will that be?

-Three thousand dollars.

The rates are raised
when a couple is split.

Singles are always harder to place.

Well, l mean what is it?
ls it on the lnternet l'm an ex-couple?

I mean, does the whole hotel know?

Is there a Biblical sign on my forehead?
" Unmarried, unclean"?

Do l bear the scarlet letter? l'm....


I'm just....
Sorry. I....

I'm better now.

Just charge it to my room.

Yes, ma'am.

Come on, Rach. Ghastly man!

I am terrified to ask
what that was about.

I think, being dumped.

-Can l get your autograph?
-Amber? ls that your name?

-Amber's your name.
-How you doing?

Get in the car! Get in the car!

-Did she see us?
-Yeah. No. You're fine. All's clear.

-It's fine.
-How d