Lars got up that morning and woke James.
“Hey James, wanna go drink?”
“Jesus Christ, Lars! How many times do I have to tell you!? I’m straight edged! I don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs!”
“Fine, how about we go nit pretty sweaters and drink iced tea while we watch the Lifetime channel.”
“Screw you Lars, we can go to a bar but I’m not getting anything to drink.”
“You’ll become thirsty,” Kirk said out of nowhere.
“Alright, I’ll go but I won’t drink alcohol.”
They headed to the bar. Lars made a simulation with a couple cups of beers.
“Alright, so this is one guy and this is another guy. This guy is trying to tell this other guy something, but he can’t understand him. He wants to though. He’ll end up overflowing with knowledge and become stupid.”
Kirk lit four spoons on fire, “You can notice if there’s enough alcohol on these spoons, it’ll catch on fire but it won’t burn the spoon.”
James put the fires out, “That’s cool and all, but you could get in trouble for that.”
“What a great audience!” Lars said.
Kirk dove and rolled to the counter. No one was paying attention to him at the counter, so he did a shooting motion at the people at the counter. They turned around and served him.
“I’ll have uhh, three shots.”
“I’m going in,” Rob said.
He also dove in. He slipped and fell on his back, and jumped up to his feet. They soon came back to the table. Lars threw something at Kirk which caused Kirk to throw his hate at Lars.
“You know what? Now you have to take a shot. I did something bad to you, and I did something bad back.”
Kirk was tired so he wasn’t acting like himself. He called out to a couple of people, “Pink is the new black! No really, Pink in the new black!”
The guy gave Kirk a thumbs up. He then faced the rest of the band.
“We all know that fuckin’ black is the new black, you silly Americans.”
“You’re the one saying it Kirk.”
There was a guy that came up to the guys of Metallica, “You four look familiar, but I’m not sure where.”
“Don’t think we’re from Metallica or something,” Lars said.
“What’s your guys’ names?”
“Err, Rodger,” Lars said, “Rodger Dodger.”
“John Johnson,” James said.
“Vicki,” Kirk said.
“Me no speak Ingles,” Rob said.
“Sweet. I just figured I’d talk to some Americans.”
“There’s Americans all around us,” James said.
“No, I mean famous Americans.”
“We’re not famous. We’re every day people.”
“Oh my God! You are Metallica!”
“I don’t know what a Metallica is,” Rob said.
“James, Lars, Kirk, and Rob!”
“You caught us,” James said.
“Haha! I knew you were Metallica! Man this is so awesome! I get to meet Metallica!”
“Well, you’re just lucky we were in public.”
The guy obviously was a big fan of Metallica, “Holy shit! This is awesome!”
He checked the time, “Oh I have to go.”
“Ok, piece out,” James said.
“I’m tired,” Lars said.
Kirk leaned up, “By the way, red and gray, not the fucking new black! Not the new black. Pink is like I told him.”
Lars laughed hard at Kirk’s comment. Rob brought back some more shots.
“What’s going on here?” James asked.
Rob sat down and Kirk got up.
“Now take it!” Kirk commanded.
“I can’t, I have a sore throat.”
Kirk climbed onto the table, “Take the shot! Take it.”
Lars grabbed his drink so Kirk wouldn’t knock it off the table.
“Dude, seriously?” Rob said.
Kirk drank some of the shot.
“It’s not that bad,” Lars said
“Alright I’ll take some.”
“Take the shot!” Kirk pressured.
“Don’t spill it on me.”
“Take the shot!”
Rob swallowed it.
Kirk fell off the table. He was caught between a few chairs.
“You can’t pick him up?” James asked.
“No dude, I’m too weak!”
Kirk wiggle his way out of the chairs and started harassing Rob.
“That’s good! That’s the best tasting thing I’ve ever had here!”
Kirk started to bear hug Rob.
“I’ve been here and that’s the best thing!”
Kirk dropped to the ground, “Just so you know you don’t play guitar with your neck broke!”
“Duh,” James agreed.
“You play it with your bum.”
James was the only sober one so he drove home. That’s the convenient things about not drinking with your friends. You get to drive home.