___From Noises Off! Michael played Lloyd.
Lloyd: Are you in?
Lloyd: Are you there?
Lloyd: You're out. Okay. I'll call again.
Usher: Mr. Fellowes, uh, is there anything wrong with your seat?
Lloyd: [thinking] Yeah, it's facing the stage!
___From Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Michael plays Lawrence Jamieson
[Ruprecht (Steve Martin) is mauling Lawrence's new girlfriend]
Lawrence Jamieson: Ruprecht, do you want the genital cuff?
Lawrence Jamieson: Freddy (Steve Martin), as a younger man, I was a sculptor, a painter, and a musician. There was just one problem: I wasn't very good. As a matter of fact, I was dreadful. I finally came to the frustrating conclusion that I had taste and style, but not talent. I knew my limitations. We all have our limitations, Freddy. Fortunately, I discovered that taste and style were commodities that people desired. Freddy, what I am saying is: know your limitations. You are a moron.