My fingernails are chewed to the nub. Filled with dirt I cannot clean and of unnatural color. Everywhere I look, there is jungle and green. I hate her, the Mockingjay. She did this, she is going to make us die! She is what killed almost everyone I loved. And what did I do? I didn't know about a rebellion or anything. And now we have to pay for something that is not on our hands.
Everything around me makes noise, putting the thought of an attacker around in my head. But everyone here is my friend, and 21 of them are already dead. Killed by their neighbor, friend since kindergarden, even cousin or sister. Now there are three of us. Me, Stiffer Oxford, and two other boys. One being my best friend, ever. One being an old babysitter.
Who was that? Who had died? I wonder if it was him, but then I don't want that. Then we would go against each other...
Pure fear rushes over my back, filled with cold and darkness. It's him. At the same time I see my best friend being lifted up by the hovercraft. I was okay though. It meant I didn't have to kill him. But then, before he disappears in the craft, I see no head, then a second claw reaching down back to the ground. I close my eyes, when they open, he is gone forever.
"Stiffer!" He yells.
"It's sad that your mother has to see this. The only survivor in your family." He says with a smirk, "But you see, I don't have shame in killing you. Because MY family is already DEAD!!"
I look at him with blurred vision from my tears.
"When I watched over you, you were just four years younger, me being sixteen, you being twelve. But you were beautiful. I couldn't help the sins I committed in my mind. And I wanted, so badly, for those fantasies to come true. Now, you are fourteen, even more stunning."
I gulp. Did he really have fantasies of raping me? He was so calm just two years ago, before she volunteered and changed everything. Now he is crazed.
"I want your head."
I answer with shock,"What?!"
Before I can run he grabs me, tying my arms together.
He begins to pull my dark hair back into a ponytail, kissing my neck, then my cheek.
He then ties my legs to a post so I can't run. Then, he goes to grab his axe.
Tears run over my face. Everything becomes a blur of horror. I can just hear my mother sobbing, screaming.
"Stop using those stupid manners. Wipe away your tears because when I win, your head is my trophy, I want a pretty one."
Through the blur I can see him positioning himself about two yards away. I can't win this, I have to die, but I can't give him the satisfaction! He begins to run, lifting his axe to the level of my neck.
I clench my teeth and lower my head, instantly feeling cold pressure from my eyes to the middle of my skull.
"You BITCH!" He screams in anger, pulling out his axe.
I feel warm blood coming out of my face. I must be the ugliest thing. But it had to be done. I didn't want him to have my beautiful face. Instant pain comes around me and I fall on my stomach. How am I still alive, breathing, or even thinking?
He just stares, I can't see it, but I can feel it.
My short, hard breaths are diminishing. I can no longer be a beautiful corpse or die instantly. I have to suffer and be seen as a monster with no eyes. But I didn't give him what he wanted.
I try to find my small blade in my bag. It is in a pocket, pulled out, but I can feel him coming.
"What are you gonna do, HUH?! You are blind and half dead, UGLY! You gonna KILL me? Huh? You son of a-"
I jab the blade into my chest once.
"What the hell are you doing?" He asks in a more remote, soft voice.
I can feel the puddle forming on the ground against my chest. I huff and jab again.
"I...I won't...le...t anyone..ha..ve the satis...faction..of killing...me."
I know this last one will do the trick. But do I have the guts? I already did it twice, but now, after this one, I die.
I jab one more time.