Okay. So this has been bugging me for a while now, and I decided to just let it out.
What happened to kids' movies??
I just came back from the movies after watching Horton Hears a Who
. Jim Carrey and Steve Carell - possibly the two funniest guys in Hollywood - play the two main characters. So it should be hilarious, right? Not so. It was actually painfully unfunny. I didn't hear the adults laugh at all, and the kids only laughed when the Mayor of Whoville got stapled in the forehead (which, by the way, is a great thing to teach kids. Throw staplers and other office equipment at people. Your friends will love you for it).
There are so many awful children's movies out now. Bee Movie, Surf's Up, Hoodwinked, Bratz, the Golden Compass
... need I go on? What is with this degeneration of family movies? Sure, there have been a few exceptions - Finding Nemo
for one, and Enchanted
was pretty good - but for the most part, there hasn't been a single decent movie made since Hercules
in 1997. And that was over 10 years ago. Why, I ask? Is it because everything's been done?
With so few ceative ideas left, Hollywood is resorting to creating sequels of already bad movies. Santa Clause 3
, anyone? Or how about Baby Geniuses 2
? And Cinderella
has had - what? - three sequels? Isn't that a bit much? Why is Disney intent on sucking any and all meaning out of our childhood favourites for a few extra lousy bucks? Walt is probably turning in his grave.
I personally think that one of the reasons there are so few good kids' movies coming out is because animators have gone hi-tech on us. I mean, what little girl doesn't love Snow White
? And that was the first full-length animated film EVER. They didn't have 3D enhancement and super-quality sound effects. They used an old leather wallet to make the sound of the dwarves' shoes squeaking on the floor of their newly-cleaned house. And yet the movie has lasted for over 70 years, while movies such as Evan Almighty
, which came out under a year ago, are barely mentioned, except to be laughed at. And Evan Almighty
is the most expensive comedy movie ever made. I think that by focusing solely on effects, Hollywood is totally losing the most important part of all - the story itself.
So, Hollywood, here's your mission: make a kids' movie that's worth seeing. A movie that I don't feel that I totally wasted $10.25 on by seeing it in theatres. It doesn't have to be expensive; it doesn't have to have incredible graphics or amazing special effects. It just has to be good.
Go on. I dare ya.