So this is my first pony fic! Tell me what you think please?
“Where are we going, Twilight?” Applejack asked. Twilight Sparkle ignored her friend, and plodded onward through the Evergreen Forest, oblivious to the fear emanating from her companions.
“Wh-why are we in here?” Fluttershy stammered nervously, almost forgetting to flap her wings as she hovered above the other ponies. Twilight turned to her, the exasperation clear on her face.
“I told you, I need a special root for my spells, and it only grows in the Evergreen Forest!”
Fluttershy nodded and muttered a quick “yes”, trembling.
“Well, do find it quickly,” Rarity implored, trying to mask the tremor in her voice with her usual pompous matter. “This cannot possibly be good for my hairdo!”
Rainbow Dash, flying next to the snow-colored unicorn, rolled her eyes.
“Well I don’t like it in here!” Pinkie Pie announced, and was about to begin on one of her famous rants, when Rainbow Dash gasped and shot forward.
Twilight’s eyes widened. There, in the clearing in front of them, was a sparkling waterfall, the glowing, crystal clear water tinkling down the rocks and into a wide, shallow pool. Surrounding the pool were odd-looking purplish plants, with a thick stem and scraggly leaves. Twilight grinned. “The roots!”
She trotted forward, bending her neck to examine the plants. Satisfied, she lit her horn, using her magic to pull them out of the ground and drop them into a basket hanging from her back.
Rainbow Dash, bored, landed on the ground and began pacing back and forth. She wondered when Twilight would be done and they could leave. As much as she didn’t want to admit it to the other ponies, this place gave her the creeps. Suddenly, her hooves slipped, and she screamed as she was pulled into a gaping hole that was definitely not there a second ago.
“Rainbow Dash!” Applejack exclaimed, and galloped over to the hole. Rainbow Dash was desperately clinging to the edge, wailing as she held on for dear life. Applejack skidded to a stop at the edge. “Grab onto my hoof!”
Rainbow Dash gritted her teeth and grasped onto Applejack’s outstretched hoof. Grunting, Applejack desperately tried to pull her friend out, but to no avail; her feet were sliding towards the abyss. Quickly, the other ponies latched on behind and dragged with all their might, but it was no use. All six ponies were pulled into the hole, which proved to be, in reality, a long tunnel. The wind rushed in their ears, whipping their manes and tails in all directions as they slid down through the endless darkness. Their six screams merged into one and bounced off the walls as they barreled through the cold, pitch-black tunnel. Finally, after what felt like hours, they were flooded with light as they landed with a thump on hard earth. Slowly, they rose to their feet, blinking in the brightness. Rainbow Dash fluttered her wings a few times to make sure they were still working, Twilight rubbed her eyes.
When their eyes adjusted to the light, their jaws dropped. Their first thought was that they were back in Ponyville, in the town square. It certainly looked like Ponyville...only different. The colors were slightly duller, the pinks and purples replaced with blues and greens, and the buildings were simpler, more modern-styled, less frilly. Maybe Ponyville got a remodel? Rainbow Dash thought.
Then she looked a little closer, at the ponies themselves. Her eyes widened. This wasn’t Ponyville! And those weren’t ponies! Well, they were, but not the type they were used to. They weren’t mares--that was the word. They were--
“Stallions!” Rarity’s cry was accompanied by a giggle, and a toss of her head to align her amethyst curls. And she was right. The place was swarming with stallions and colts of all sizes, and not a single mare or filly in sight. The excitement radiating off of Rarity made Rainbow Dash slightly dizzy, and Applejack coughed loudly. The ponies were broken from their trance by the arrival of six stallions; the mares were so mesmerized by the place that they hardly noticed until the stallions were inches from them. They looked the male arrivals up and down, and the boys did the same. They seemed equally enchanted by the girls as the girls were of them. Nopony spoke until one stallion, a pegasus with a messy, spiky black mane, a gold coat with a hint of bronze, and maroon eyes, stepped forward.
“Um...hey.” He was looking at Rainbow Dash straight on, and the multicolored pegasus, despite herself, felt a slight flutter.
Rarity tossed her head again, batted her eyelashes, and stepped forward. “Seems that I am the only one here with some sense left. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Rarity.”
“I’m Twilight Sparkle.”
“And I’m Pinkie Pie! We’re from Ponyville! We were in the forest when out of nowhere, this huge hole showed up, and Rainbow Dash slipped in, and she was all ‘AAAAAA’ and we were all ‘AAAAAA’ and then Applejack’s all, ‘Grab onto my hoof!’ and Dash’s all ‘Okay’ and then we all were like---”
She was cut off by Twilight Sparkle, who slapped a hoof over her pink friend’s mouth. “Y-yeah. We came from Ponyville. I’ve never seen a town with so many stallions before!”
A brown unicorn with pale gray eyes and a blue-and-yellow streaked mane nodded. “Yep! That’s why it’s called Stalliontown!” he said proudly.
A gray speckled unicorn spoke up. “We really should introduce ourselves. I’m Fallen Ash.”
“I’m Infinite Flame,” said the gold-colored pegasus from earlier.
“Duke” was a pale yellow Earth pony, “Spark” a dark blue one with spikey orange hair that reminded the Ponyville six of flames, “Aqua Mist” an appropriately-colored aqua pegasus, and “Delta Stream” the smug-looking brown unicorn with streaked hair.
“So...” Aqua Mist said, smiling warmly. “What brings you to Stalliontown?”
Pinkie Pie narrowed her eyes in feigned annoyance. “I told you, we were in the forest when--”
Aqua Mist quickly interrupted. “Oh yeah, now I remember.”
Pinkie Pie, who only looked slightly disappointed to be unable to recount her tale, rubbed her stomach. “I’m hungry! Do you guys have any food in this place?”
Rarity looked apalled at Pinkie’s lack of manners, but the others nodded eagerly.
Duke laughed, his purple eyes sparkling, and his golden hair rippling behind him even though there was no breeze. “Of course! I can take you to my place! We have the most royal cuisine in town!”
Rarity’s eyes lit up with excitement, and she giggled, but the others rolled their eyes.
“No, come to my place!” Infinite Flame implored. “Best flame-grilled oats in all of Equestria!”
Rainbow Dash felt her stomach grumble. She’d never had flame-grilled oats before, but they sounded amazing.
All the stallions started arguing at once. “No---come to my place!--No, mine!--I have the best food in town!--Liar, I do!--EVERYPONY BE QUIET!”
That came from Twilight Sparkle, whose yell thundered through the air. The others quickly stopped talking.
“Listen, I’m sure each of you stallions have great food, but the fact is, we can only have one meal right now. We can eat everyone else’s food another meal, but we have to pick one for now.”
The others nodded, and Rainbow Dash raised a hoof.
“I say we have Infinite’s flame-grilled oats!”
Rarity made a face. “No thank you. I for one will be eating Duke’s royal cuisine.”
Now it was the mares’ turn to break out in argument. Each pony, it seemed, wanted something different. Spark, who this entire time had not said a single word apart from his name, cleared his throat. “Why don’t you split up?” His voice was low and quiet, barely louder than a whisper. “Each pony can eat whoever’s food they want.”
Twilight smiled. “That’s a great idea!”
Twenty minutes later, each mare found herself at the house of a stallion, eating what seemed to be the best food they’d ever tasted. In the clouds above Stalliontown, Rainbow Dash was busy stuffing her face with Infinite Flame’s grilled oats.
“Somepony’s hungry!” He remarked, pushing his empty plate off to the side of the white fluffy table.
“Ishh juss so guhd!” Rainbow Dash replied defensively, not caring that her mouth was still completely full of oats. “Hgow doo you maksh ish so GUHD?”
Infinite Flame chuckled, as if sharing a private joke with himself, but did not answer. He merely took another swig of his beverage, which appeared to be a drink much like hot chocolate on steroids, emphasis on the hot. Rainbow Dash didn’t understand how he could stand the heat: when he’d offered her some, she’d immediately downed the whole mug, and her face had turned the color of a ripe tomato. Her mouth was still burning.
Twilight Sparkle sat in the overstuffed armchair across from Silver Ash, in his cozy, cluttered home that reminded her of her own library-house back in Ponyville. She already missed home, with her comfortable bed, endless shelves of books, and of course, Spike. She wondered if her dragon companion was worried, if he was wondering where she was. But after she’d eaten, some of the homesickness had gone away. Yes, it was still there, but it was as if something had covered it up, masked it.
As if he could read her thoughts, Silver Ash spoke. “So, Twilight was it? How long do you think you’ll be staying here?”
Twilight shrugged. “Until we can figure out how to get back home, I guess. The tunnel that brought us here disappeared after we landed. It’s kind of weird, isn’t it?”
The stallion didn’t reply. Twilight looked at him. He was a strongly built horse, his gray-dappled coat thick and shiny, his jet black mane ruffled, but at the same time smooth and organized and perfectly arranged in its own way. His eyes were a bright, clear blue, their light color a sharp contrast to his dark coat, mane and tail, and his gaze was somewhat piercing. The food he’d served had been simple, yet delicious, and very homely. Despite her pangs of nostalgia for her place back in Ponyville, there was something about this house, and Silver Ash himself, that just felt right.
“So I’m assuming you six will need a place to stay, at least for the time being?”
Twilight nodded. Silver Ash smiled.
“Well, Twilight, you’re always welcome to stay here with me, if you want.”
Twilight’s heart lit up. Even though something told her it was wrong to leave her friends like that, a stronger part of her was enchanted by the idea. This stallion was just so nice.
“I would love to! I-I mean, if it’s all right with you--”
The stallion laughed. “Of course it is.”
“Thank you so much, Silver Ash!”
“No problem. Oh, and just Ash is fine.”
Twilight chuckled. “Well then, “just Ash”, looks like you’ve got yourself a house guest!”