Gordon was bored, so he decided to check out what the Union Pacific looked like.
Gordon: I'll bet every single steam engine is dead. *runs to station*
After three minutes of running
Gordon: *panting* Ugh, how much longer do I have to go? *looks back* (All I did was run across the street?!?!?)
Train driver: *blows horn*
Gordon: Oh damn, the tracks are right by the road. *walks to fence* Really? Why did they put these up?
Security Guard: HEY!! What are you doing by that fence?
Gordon: Watching the trains?
Security Guard: Ok. You're not allowed to pass this fence at anytime.
Gordon: Alright. May I ask why this fence was put up?
Security Guard: To prevent intruders from sneaking in, and vandalising those freight cars.
Gordon: *spots graffiti* You mean that purple, and green stuff on the box car? What railroad is it for anyway?
Security Guard: Norfoalk Southern.
Gordon: Norfoalk Southern? Don't you mean Norfoalk & Western?
Security Guard: Nope. The Norfoalk & Western merged with another railroad in 1982.
Gordon: (That's 31 years from where I am now.) Wow. Yeah... I'm not much of an expert on railroading like you. *walks away*
After that, Gordon was thinking on how to get inside
Gordon: *stops* What the fuck am I thinking?! I've got teleportation spells! *teleports into train yard* Now, to see what this yard looks like.
Working ponies: *remove door from diesel*
Boss: Excellent. Now just put a new coat of paint on there, and our Heritage units will be as good as new.
Gordon: Heritage units? *walks to diesel* This thing is a wreck. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!!?
Workers: *walk out* That engine is used for spare parts on our diesels.
Gordon: WHAT?! Can't you buy more parts?! Ok, this year is fucked up, except for the creation of the smartphone, that's cool.
Black worker: Dude, what's up with this nigga?
Gordon: (Nigga? Sounds cool, I gotta try that.) Bye *time travels*
June 10, 1951
Pete: Ah, Gordon you're back. Just in time too. You'll have a freight to take to Pocatello Idaho in 20 minutes.
Gordon: Thank you sir. *walks to bench*
Bartholomew: *waiting on platforrn*
Gordon: *Looking at map of Equestria* Hey, Bart! Do you know how long it would take to get to Germany from my place if I was driving?
Bartholomew: Perhaps you should try looking at an actual world map instead of that pathetic nonsense!
Gordon: Who asked you?! *grabs smartphone* Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'll just ask the smartphone, and it'll tell me how to get from here to Germany, and how long it will take!
Bartholomew: WE CAN'T USE SMARTPHONES IN 1951!!! Have you lost your mind?!
Gordon: *searching* Watch how it's done asshole! Going from Equestria to Germany. Yo, I do what I want nigga! *gasps*
Bartholomew: *looks*
Gordon: Swim across the atlantic ocean! Seriously?
Bartholomew: Oh my. Better get started, that sure is a bloody long swim.
Hawkeye: *brings passenger train to station*
Bartholomew: Well, my train is here. I must leave you in your shock of amazement. *enters passenger train*
Percy: *sees Gordon* Uhm, what's that? *points at smartphone*
Gordon: A failed attempt to travel *falls asleep*
The End
The Season 2 premiere of Ponies On The Rails will arrive in October.
Gordon: I'll bet every single steam engine is dead. *runs to station*
After three minutes of running
Gordon: *panting* Ugh, how much longer do I have to go? *looks back* (All I did was run across the street?!?!?)
Train driver: *blows horn*
Gordon: Oh damn, the tracks are right by the road. *walks to fence* Really? Why did they put these up?
Security Guard: HEY!! What are you doing by that fence?
Gordon: Watching the trains?
Security Guard: Ok. You're not allowed to pass this fence at anytime.
Gordon: Alright. May I ask why this fence was put up?
Security Guard: To prevent intruders from sneaking in, and vandalising those freight cars.
Gordon: *spots graffiti* You mean that purple, and green stuff on the box car? What railroad is it for anyway?
Security Guard: Norfoalk Southern.
Gordon: Norfoalk Southern? Don't you mean Norfoalk & Western?
Security Guard: Nope. The Norfoalk & Western merged with another railroad in 1982.
Gordon: (That's 31 years from where I am now.) Wow. Yeah... I'm not much of an expert on railroading like you. *walks away*
After that, Gordon was thinking on how to get inside
Gordon: *stops* What the fuck am I thinking?! I've got teleportation spells! *teleports into train yard* Now, to see what this yard looks like.
Working ponies: *remove door from diesel*
Boss: Excellent. Now just put a new coat of paint on there, and our Heritage units will be as good as new.
Gordon: Heritage units? *walks to diesel* This thing is a wreck. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!!?
Workers: *walk out* That engine is used for spare parts on our diesels.
Gordon: WHAT?! Can't you buy more parts?! Ok, this year is fucked up, except for the creation of the smartphone, that's cool.
Black worker: Dude, what's up with this nigga?
Gordon: (Nigga? Sounds cool, I gotta try that.) Bye *time travels*
June 10, 1951
Pete: Ah, Gordon you're back. Just in time too. You'll have a freight to take to Pocatello Idaho in 20 minutes.
Gordon: Thank you sir. *walks to bench*
Bartholomew: *waiting on platforrn*
Gordon: *Looking at map of Equestria* Hey, Bart! Do you know how long it would take to get to Germany from my place if I was driving?
Bartholomew: Perhaps you should try looking at an actual world map instead of that pathetic nonsense!
Gordon: Who asked you?! *grabs smartphone* Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'll just ask the smartphone, and it'll tell me how to get from here to Germany, and how long it will take!
Bartholomew: WE CAN'T USE SMARTPHONES IN 1951!!! Have you lost your mind?!
Gordon: *searching* Watch how it's done asshole! Going from Equestria to Germany. Yo, I do what I want nigga! *gasps*
Bartholomew: *looks*
Gordon: Swim across the atlantic ocean! Seriously?
Bartholomew: Oh my. Better get started, that sure is a bloody long swim.
Hawkeye: *brings passenger train to station*
Bartholomew: Well, my train is here. I must leave you in your shock of amazement. *enters passenger train*
Percy: *sees Gordon* Uhm, what's that? *points at smartphone*
Gordon: A failed attempt to travel *falls asleep*
The End
The Season 2 premiere of Ponies On The Rails will arrive in October.
Chrysalis, Chrysalis, the changeling queen.
A powerful being, is she, and no doubt about it at all,
For her power is shaped as a ball:
One with no end to her power and attitude of pride.
Her changeling legions stretch far and wide
Until nothing else can be seen.
Chrysalis, Chrysalis, the consumer of love,
As with her underlings who conquer vastly.
Many will see her as ghastly,
Or perhaps even demonic of sorts,
As well as her infinite cohorts.
Nothing could send her above.
Chrysalis, Chrysalis, now beaten,
Will one day return with power all on
Her enemies with the rage of Phlegethon.
Speed will accompany her in many ways,
For her vengeance will be quenched in days,
All of her enemies' love eaten.
A powerful being, is she, and no doubt about it at all,
For her power is shaped as a ball:
One with no end to her power and attitude of pride.
Her changeling legions stretch far and wide
Until nothing else can be seen.
Chrysalis, Chrysalis, the consumer of love,
As with her underlings who conquer vastly.
Many will see her as ghastly,
Or perhaps even demonic of sorts,
As well as her infinite cohorts.
Nothing could send her above.
Chrysalis, Chrysalis, now beaten,
Will one day return with power all on
Her enemies with the rage of Phlegethon.
Speed will accompany her in many ways,
For her vengeance will be quenched in days,
All of her enemies' love eaten.