posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to another story about a spy named Con Mane. We begin at a Mexican nuclear base.
Con: *runs onto dam*
pilot: *flies past Con*
Con: *ties himself to guardrail*
Con jumped, as the rope slowly let him down toward part of the base. A few minutes later he was inside.
Mexican pony777: *watches T.V.*
Mexican pony484: *goes to bathroon*
Mexican pony556: *leaves bathroom*
Mexican pony484: *reads newspaper*
Con: Beg your pardon. Forgot to knock *K.O's mexican*
From there Con walked into an unlit room when he ran into another pony named John.
John: ¡Señor! ¿Estás solo?
Con: Yes, I'm alone.
John: You're late 0007.
Con: Sorry 0006 I got stuck in the bathroom.
John: Ready to save the day again?
Con: With you, I'm always ready.
The two ponies then walked toward some explosive containers.
John: Set the bomb to go off in 6 minutes. And Con?
John: For Canterlot.
Con: For Canterlot. *sets bomb*
Mexican col: Tenemos intrusos!
John: That can't be good.
Mexicans: *break open door*
Con: *plants bomb* John we've got a breach. ..... John?
Mexican col: Defuse the bomb, and we let your friend live.
John: They're lying Con. Blow them up!
Mexican col: We mexicans are always honest.
John: Blow 'em to hell for Canterlot!
Mexican col: *shoots John*
Con: *sets bomb for 3 minutes*
Mexican col: Surrender now Señor.
Con: *grabs trolley with containers*
Mexicans: *shoot guns*
Mexican col: Wait! You'll blow us all up!
Con: *goes right*
Mexican pony645: *shoots at Con*
Mexican col: *shoots 645*
Con: *continues walking*
Mexican col: Surrender. What you're doing is pointless.
Con: *jumps on conveyor belt shooting barrels*
Mexican col: Now, shoot him!
But Con shot the barrels killing nearly everypony in that room.
Mexican pony284: *starts airplane*
Con: *runs toward airplane*
Mexicans: *shooting at Con*
Mexican pony123 & 125: *ride motorcycles toward Con*
Con: *steals one of bikes*
Mexican pony123: *shoots tire of bike*
Con: *pulls out pilot*
Mexicans: *still shooting at Con*
Mexican col: WAIT!
Con: *drives off cliff*
The colonel thought that Con would use his magic to reappear on the runway, but he didn't. Instead he got in the airplane after driving off the cliff, and left the nuclear facility right when it blew up.
Hi everypony. In case you forgot this is the 4th Con Mane story, and it is called Golden Iris.
Doughnut Joe as Con Mane
Carrot Top as Eve Moneybit
Pinkie Pie as P
Spike as S
Mexicans as the bad guys
Everyone else as theirselves
Nine days after 0006 was killed, Con was celebrating for a new worker in the C.I.E. Moneybit.
Con: *drifts around curve*
Moneybit: That was unnecesary.
Senia: *drives by in Lambronyni*
Con: I know this pony *speeds up*
Senia: *honks horn*
Bulldozer: *goes backwards*
Con: *spins Senia's car out*
Senia: *drives backwards into gravel*
The two ponies then drove parallel together toward other ponies running a race
Moneybit: Watch out!
Con: I know!
runners: *jump off bridge into water*
Senia: *hits Con's DP5*
Con: *speeds up*
Moneybit: I am not the kind of mare that gets impressed with fast drivers Mr. Mane
Con: Eve! That's not how you talk to a stallion.
Con: Fine. We'll stop.
Later that day, which became night.
Con: *walks toward gambling table* Didn't expect to see you here.
Senia: Same here. You're still driving that Aston Maretin Mr.?
Con: Mane. Con Mane.
Senia: Well then let's gamble.
Dealer: Ante is 10 bits.
Con & Senia: *pay ante*
Dealer: *deals cards*
Con: I'll take three cards.
Senia: Four. *shows ace*
Dealer: *deals more cards*
Con: That Lambronyni you were driving, is it yours?
Senia: No I'm borrowing it from my padre.
Con: I'll put in 15 bits.
Senia: I'm in.
Dealer: Show your cards.
Con: Three of a kind jacks.
Senia: Two pairs. Ace, and sevens.
Con: Impressive. No one has ever beaten me before.
Senia: Lets play another round.
Waiter: Anything for you ponies?
Con: I'll have a milkshake. Stirred, not shaken.
Senia: Same here.
Waiter: Coming right up.
A half hour later Con left the casino. He saw Senia walk toward a boat while he walked back to his car.
Con: *enters Senia's hoofprints*
Car: Senia Offbottom. A Captain in the Mexican Military, expert pilot for five years, and extremely dangerous.
The next day four Chevronet Pearlas pulled up toward a new helicopter.
Con: *sneaks by*
Dutch pony 1: We would like to thank the Mexican Military for lending us one of the very first helicopters to us.
Dutch pony 1: This chopper has two machine guns, and four missile launchers.
Con: *walks away*
Senia: That pony is a spy!
Con: *runs away*
Dutch ponies: *block Con*
Con: *escapes with magic*
Con was on his way to Canterlot, but lets go to a Russian military base.
Boris: Charleen. Come check this out!
Charleen: What is it?
Boris: *shows desktop*
Charleen: Why did you put a pair of titties on that mare?
Boris: At least she isn't naked! Guess the new password.
Boris: Damn. Hold on.
Charleen: What is it?
Boris: M.I.3 is trying to hack our system. We'll hack theirs *hacks M.I.3*
Senia: *walks into base*
Russian pony467: You cannot be in here!
Senia: *shoots russian*
base owner: Тревога! У нас есть нарушитель
Senia: *kills russians*
Boris ran away while Charleen hid under a desk. Senia did not kill any of them. As she left a satellite blew up the base.
base owner: You're still alive! We have to find out what's going on with the mexicans.
Charleen: WE?! You're crushed by the remains of the ceiling.
base owner: Fine! You're on your own *dies*
Charleen: I didn't want that to happen! Ugh. *leaves base*
P: There you are Con. I have a mission for you to do.
Con: What is it?
P: I need you to stop the Mexicans from destroying non mexican cities with a satellite named Golden Iris.
Con: Ok I'm on it.
P: Go see S before you leave. He has some stuff to show you.
Con: *walks toward gadget developing area*
Moneybit: Still wrecking exotics Mr. Mane?
Con: Only if I have to.
Moneybit: S is ready to see you now.
Con: Hey S. Sorry about your leg.
S: What for?
Con: You broke it and-
S: *shoots missile*
S: Let me show you your new vehicle. Meuzda Derpy, the perfect vehicle for the mission you will be doing.
Con: What did you install?
S: Nothing. Except for a radar system. Self destruct system, and turbo boost. Now this I really like, behind the headlights are stinger missiles.
Con: Perfect. Just what I need to get people outta the way.
S: No Con. You have a license to murder, not to break the roadlaws.
Con: What else is there?
S: A pen
Con: What does this do?
S: Hit the button three times, and it will explode. And to prevent it from exploding you hit it three more times.
Con: I could use it like a grenade.
S: Yeah. First you're going into Mexico, then when you come back you can take all this.
Con: *grabs gem sandwich*
S: DONT TOUCH THAT! that's my lunch.
Con arrived in Mexico by airplane. He would meet up with an M.I.3 agent, and they would destroy Golden Iris.
Con: Hi Fenix.
Fenix: Didn't know I'd be doing a mission with you Con. How are ya?
Con: Good. I see you have another bad car.
Fenix: The EMC tester? It hasn't let me down yet.
Con: Good. Those things tend to break down.
The two friends drove away, but when they left Charleen arrived. Then their car broke down.
Fenix: I can fix it. Wrench
Con: *hands wrench* What do you know about the mexicans?
Fenix: I know that they hate germans like me, so I can't stay long. Screwdriver
Con: *hands screwdriver* How close can you get me?
Fenix: To a cemetary. Can you get the sledgehammer?
Con: I got this *hits engine*
Fenix: Wunderbar. Let's continue.
Fenix dropped him off at the Cemetary, and Con went looking around. But then
John: Con Mane. What the hay happened?
Con: John? YOU'RE ALIVE!!
John: Yeah. No thanks to you.
Con: How was I supposed to know you could survive a bullet to the head?
John: No one can. They brought me back to life with magic, and I'm on their side now.
Con: Why 0006?
John: Don't call me that anymore.
Mexicans: *arrest Con Mane*
The next day Con woke up in a jail cell, and he found Charleen asleep next to him.
Con: Mexico just hates everypony.
Charleen: *wakes up* WHO ARE YOU?!!
Con: The name's Mane. Con Mane. And you are?
Charleen: Why should I tell you when you're trying to kill me?
Con: What? I got locked up in here, and then I wake up next to you.
Mexican pony561: Lets go. *opens door*
The pony then lead Con, and Charleen to a room with more mexicans.
Senia: Hola Sr. Mane.
Con: If you're gonna threaten to kill me, at least say it in english.
Mexican pony333: You two are being held responsible for trying to stop us from destroying cities with an experimental weapon.
Con: We have to.
Mexican pony333: Si, but you blew up one of our nuclear facilities ten days ago, and the mare destroyed one of our helicopters, a gift to the Dutch ponies.
Charleen: I was forced to.
Mexican pony 561: Well screw you!
Mexican pony 333: Easy corporal. I'll handle it.
Con: Handle this *shoots mexican with magic*
Mexican pony 561: *grabs gun*
Con: *breaks neck with magic*
Mexicans: We have two spies escaping!
Con grabbed a gun from the mexican he killed, and continued killing mexicans.
Con: This way!
Charleen: I'd rather go by myself.
Mexicans: *capture Charleen*
0006: Put her in the alfa. I'll meet you at the station.
Mexican Col: Si.
Con: *runs other way*
Charleen: (Where is he going?)
Con: *gets in tank*
Mexican Col: Turn right.
Mexican driver: I know which way to go!
Con: *follows in tank*
Mexican Col: Go faster.
Mexican driver: I have to follow the speed limit!
Mexican Col: GO FASTER!!
Con: *shoots machine gun*
Mexican driver: *drives down alleyway*
Con: *continues down road*
Mexican driver: Is he gone?
Mexican Col: Yes
Con: *drives through wall*
Mexican Col: And he's back
Mexican pony526: *makes roadblock*
Con: *shoots roadblock*
Mexican Col: Get away from him!
Mexican driver: I'M TRYING!!!
Police: *follow tank*
Con: *shoot police cars*
The police cars went flying toward the remains of the roadblock, causing the mexicans to jump into a nearby river.
Mexican driver: Almost there!
Con: *shoots train bridge*
engineer: *drives train off bridge*
Mexican Col: Go left.
Con lost Charleen. but he had a plan. He could get on the train line with the tank, and stop the train, but does it work? Lets find out
0006: Lets go!
Mexican Col: Con Mane escaped!
0006: Damn you! Where is he?
Mexican Col: He could be on his way here. We have to go now.
0006: Drive the train.
engineer: *drives train*
Con: *goes out of tunnel*
Charleen: You won't get away with this.
Charleen: BORIS?!!? *hits Boris*
Mexican Col: *hits Charleen* Senia! Make sure she doesn't cause anymore damage!
Senia: With pleasure Colonel.
Engineer: There is a tank in front of us
Con: *shoots train*
0006: That was Con. What did you let him escape for?
Mexican Col: He used magic to get a gun, and kill our men!
After blowing up the engine Con Mane got on the train. The rest of the train was unharmed.
Engineer: Con Mane is on the train!
0006: Where is Senia?
Senia: Right here.
Mexican Col: I thought I told you to kill Charleen!
Senia: I would have if that spy didn't get on here.
Mexican Col: Senia. Go with 0006!
0006: I will, but first let me ask Con something.
Con: What's that?
0006: I was just wondering if you still try to complete your missions.
Senia: Without killing ponies? I don't know...
Charleen: Let me go!
Con: Let her go
0006: Maybe we will, maybe we won't. What would you rather do. Complete the mission? Or save the mare?
Con: Kill her. She means nothing to me.
Mexican Col: As you wish
Con: *kills Mexican colonel*
0006: Lets go!
Senia: *locks doors*
0006: *activates bomb* We were going to destroy Canterlot with this, but now we can't. So were using it to destroy something else. You. I'll give you 6 minutes, the same 6 you gave me.
Charleen: What does that mean?
Con: We have 3 minutes. We both have to find a way out of here.
Charleen: I found something.
Con: *removes floor* Almost got it
Charleen: This shows which cities they're going to attack.
Con: *ignores Charleen* Come on!
Charleen: Wait! First it's Canterlot, Vanhoover, Trottingham-
Con: NOW! *grabs Charleen*
Just when the two unicorns got out, the bomb went off. Con, and Charleen used a magic shield to save theirselves.
Charleen: Do you destroy every vehicle you get into?
Con: Standard operating procedure.
When Con returned to Canterlot, he got the stuff S made for him. Then they went toward a forest in Mexico City. That's where Golden Iris was.
Charleen: So what does your car do?
Con: Shoot missiles.
Fenix: *flies past*
Con: *stops car*
Fenix: Hi Con. What do you think of my airplane?
Con: Looks like one I stole from our enemies 10 days ago. Only none of the doors are missing.
Fenix: Whoa. You got a Meuzda Derpy? I wanna drive it!
Con: Ok, but don't get a single scratch on it.
Fenix: You can repair it if I do ja?
Con: But it's difficult.
Fenix: I won't destroy it. *drives off*
Charleen: What now?
Con: We take the plane.
Con & Charleen arrived at Golden Iris, well near it anyway.
Con: We gotta get inside the base.
Senia: But I won't let you!
Chopper pilot 1: We're here to assist you.
Con: *hits Senia*
Charleen: I can't watch. *closes eyes*
Con: *puts rope on Senia, and shoots pilot*
When the pilot was killed the chopper lost control, and Senia went flying into a tree.
Con: She always did enjoy a good squeeze.
Charleen: How did you know about the rope?
Con: Saw it coming from the chopper. Lets go.
Boris: What do you want me to do?
0006: I want you to destroy any non mexican cities. They will be marked in red.
Boris: Da, or si I got it.
Con: Do you?
0006: Well well well. If it isn't my former teammate.
Mexican captain: Hands up!
Mexican captain: Do it or we kill your friend.
Charleen: Kill him. He means nothing to me.
Con: *grabs pen*
0006: What are you doing?
Con: What I can't write? *activates bomb*
And as the bomb exploded Con teleported onto Golden Iris. He was going to destroy it.
Mexicans: *shoot at Con*
0006: Leave him to me! Find the mare!
Mexican: Si senor *run off*
Mexican Captain: start attacking now!
Boris: I'm on it! *enters attack codes*
Con: *stops machine* Without that, Golden Iris can't attack anything.
0006: *hits Con 8 times*
Con: *grabs gun*
0006: *hits gun*
Con: *hits 0006*
0006: *pushes Con toward ladder* I was always better then you Con.
Con: *goes down ladder*
0006: *shoots ladder*
Con: *reaches bottom of ladder* oof.
0006: *shoots at Con* Out of ammo
Con: *climbs up ladder*
0006: *slides down ladder hitting Con*
Boris: Nothing is getting attacked. COME ON!
0006: 0006 to Alpha 1. Do you copy?
Alpha 1: Yes. I am arriving in helicopter.
Con: *hits 0006*
Alpha 1: Someone is in here.
Charleen: Shut up!
Con: *pushes 0006*
0006: *goes over edge*
Con: *grabs 0006*
0006: uh? Oh. *looks up* For Canterlot Con?
Con: No. For me *drops 0006*
Charleen: Con get in here.
0006: *coughes up blood*
Con: *jumps on helicopter*
Golden Iris then blew up, and landed on 0006.
It also went through the roof of the base.
Boris: *Looking at the damage around him, surprised that he survived* Yes! I am invincible!! *Something explodes behind him, and makes a liquid at negative 400 degrees burst out of a canister, and land on him. He is now frozen*
Con: Kill the pilot.
Charleen: *kills pilot*
Fenix; Hi Con.
Con: I see you kept your word on not destroying my car.
Fenix: Ja, and I got a surprise. Hiel!
German ponies: *appear from hiding, and helicopters arrive*
Con: You got us an entire army? With helicopters?
Fenix: Ja. Come on, we'll give you a ride to your HQ.