Brooke - "We have a hot tub."
Lucas - Brooke, I..."
Brooke - "We have a naked me in the hot tub."
[BROOKE looks back over at HALEY as NATHAN nods at her]
BROOKE: Did you see that?
BROOKE: Nathan just gave her the nod.
PEYTON: What nod?
BROOKE: The "lets hook up after the game" nod. [Pause] Wanna know what I think? I think Nathan likes tutor girl. But I think tutor girl likes Lucas. And I know I like Lucas. And I don't know who the hell you like anymore. This is all turning into one big love… rectangle plus one, whatever that is.
Brooke - "Jake you can tell me. I won't even remember it in the morning."
Jake - "You really wanna know?" leaning closer to Brooke's ear. "The truth would kill your buzz."
Brooke:What's your idea of your perfect date?
Haley:You getting hit by a bus.
Brooke:Nathan's lucky with that sense of humor.
Lucas: Look Haley, can I tell you something?
Brooke(literally bouncing into the room): Hey boyfriend. Hey Tutor girl.
Haley: Hey Tigger
Brooke (talking about Lucas): He's so serious, I thought I'd lighten him up a little
Karen: And you couldn't take him to a comdey?
Brooke: I guess you're not a big fan of tatoos then.
Karen: No, not on my son.
Brooke: I think I could light my self on fire and my mother wouldn't notice, so sometimes it's hard for me to remember some moms would.
Brooke:(while watching Lucas' letter burn)I hope it wasn't money.
BROOKE: (v.o) Someone once said; it's the good girls who keep diaries. The bad girls never have the time. Me… I just wanna live a life I'm gonna remember. Even if I don't write it down
Brooke: why do bad guys lie to get into your bed, and good guys lie to get into youre heart
Brooke: Yes. "Vote Brooke for president." It gets straight to the point and short enough for even the stoners to remember.
Brooke: I haven't stuffed since I started puberty.
BROOKE: How many moments in your life can you point to and say, "That's when it all changed"? You just had one. Don't worry, baby. The popularity thing's not so bad.
PEYTON: The Brooke Davis Leopard Bra? Dude, that thing's like a welcome mat. Anyway, I heard you were naked in his car.
BROOKE: No, I was partially naked. At one point I had mittens on 'cause it was cold.
HALEY: You know, I’m just not clear on this. So the shower at your house is broken and you had to have Felix come all the way over here and use mine?
HALEY: Wait a second. Y-you don’t have a bed do you? Did you… tell me you didn’t have sex in my bed. Brooke.
BROOKE: I’m already washing your sheets.
HALEY: Oh my god! Ugh! Brooke! Ugh!
BROOKE: They already yelled at me, what is the big deal?!
HALEY: The big deal is that first of all; you did not thank me for helping you with the CDs. Second of all; you had sex IN MY BED! And third; you ate all the brownies.
ANNA: Actually, I had a couple.
HALEY: That’s not the point.
BROOKE: Haley’s right. The point is that I’ve been deceptive. It’s not so much that I lied to anyone’s face. It’s more about what I didn’t say.
HALEY: Ugh! OK. There is a big difference between a lie and a little white lie.
PEYTON: OK, wait, what white lie?
BROOKE: Haley lied to Nathan!!
HALEY: Not exactly!
BROOKE: Yes you did!
PEYTON: About what?!
HALEY: You know what, if we’re talking about bad behaviour, you might wanna sit this one out!
PEYTON: What is that supposed to mean?
HALEY: That’s supposed to mean that Peyton’s the one you should be looking at, not me.
BROOKE: Why?! She not the one acting like a perfect little Stepford wife!
ANNA: Why are you picking on Haley? She’s throwing us a slumber party.
BROOKE: Actually, she was throwing us a slumber party, you just butted in!
PEYTON: Brooke! LEAVE HER ALONE!
HALEY: What’re you gonna do? Snort her?
HALEY: Listen, I didn’t throw this slumber party for you, you threw it for yourself and you know it!
BROOKE: Well, at least I didn’t lie to my husband about hanging out with Chris!
HALEY: Brooke! Well… Peyton did cocaine with that Rick guy!
PEYTON: You had sex in her bed!
ANNA: OK –
BROOKE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? CRACK ****!!
(Haley rips Brooke’s nose strip off)
ANNA: Man… Tree Hill’s got some drama
Brooke (to Anna): Hi… I’m Brooke. We haven’t officially been introduced, but your dating my ex-boyfriend and I’m sleeping with your brother so it looks like we have a lot in common.
BROOKE: We should totally hang out more. What is your name?
BROOKE: Yeah. I don’t like that name. Lets call you… Brooke!
BROOKE: Hi friend!
HALEY: Sure. I’ll see you guys later.
PEYTON: Where’s your ride?
HALEY: Oh. I’m going to take the last fan bus back.
PEYTON: It just left.
BROOKE: That’s perfect. Brookie can come with us!
HALEY: Yeah, she named me Brooke.
BROOKE: Peyton, can she come? Please? Peyton, please!
PEYTON: Just don’t touch the stereo. Or we’ll have a problem.
BROOKE: Road trip.
BROOKE: We’re going on a road trip. We’re going on a road trip.
[THE CAR driving along a road. BROOKE’S hitting PEYTON with her pompoms as PEYTON tries to drive]
PEYTON: Brooke! Come on…
[BROOKE throws the pompoms out the window, giggling and clapping. Then she leans over the front seat, looking at HALEY and then PEYTON]
BROOKE: Don’t you two like the same guys? Or guy, or something?
HALEY: I’m just tutoring him, that’s all.
PEYTON: So you’re not into him? Because he seems to be into you.
[BROOKE’S looking out the back window]
BROOKE: He gave her the nod!
PEYTON: Just be careful.
HALEY: Well, what about you and Lucas?
PEYTON: What about us?
HALEY: Oh, come on. Tortured artist meets tortured athlete? Talk about your obvious attraction.
[The car beeps to signal lack of gas]
BROOKE: I hear birds.
PEYTON: Unbelievable! Brooke, did you not think to put gas in the car?
[BROOKE looks at HALEY]
BROOKE: Answer the question, Brooke.
[The car stops]
BROOKE: Why are we stopping?
[BROOKE’S CAR. PEYTON gets out of the phone with her cell]
PEYTON: There’s still no signal. Who lives like this?
HALEY: Pop the trunk, will you?
BROOKE: Peyton, don’t listen to it. It might be a trick.
[PEYTON pops the trunk and HALEY looks inside]
HALEY: Yeah, it’s empty. I saw a gas station a few miles back. If I’m not back in an hour, tell my mom I loved her?
BROOKE: Don’t you mean Nathan?
PEYTON: I’ll go with you.
BROOKE: What about me?
[BROOKE’S back in the car and PEYTON locks the doors. As BROOKE and HALEY walk away, BROOKE’S yelling]
BROOKE: I could suffocate in here. Guys!
HALEY: You did crack a window, right?
BROOKE: Guys! Come on! I’m scared! Please! Come on, you guys. Don’t go! Someone will come!
[PEYTON and HALEY walk off]
Shot of a bag in a glass display case. Brooke pops up from the other end looking sulky.)
BROOKE: But I want it so bad!
(Haley pulls her away and links arms with her.)
HALEY: No. It’s not in the budget. Besides, if you get the purse, then you can’t afford the outfit for the opening.
BROOKE: Screw the opening. I’ll stay at home with the purse.
(Haley looks at Brooke worriedly, she seem to be dozing off.)
HALEY: What’s going on, you alright?
BROOKE: Yeah, I just feel a little light headed.
BROOKE: I…sold some stuff.
HALEY: What stuff?
HALEY: Blood!? You sold blood? Brooke, you really think that’s a good idea? You actually don’t look very well. Kinda… pasty.
BROOKE: I’m discount shopping! I’m gonna have to get used to looking like crap. And besides, I needed some extra money for the dress.
HALEY: Which is only thirty-six bucks.
HALEY: Eighteen dollars.
BROOKE: Eyeliner to go with the shoes.
HALEY: Seven fifty, which is what? Sixty-one fifty with tax. I mean please, you have plenty left over for-
BROOKE: Alcohol! We’ll stop by the liquor store on the way home.
HALEY: I really don’t think you should be drinking after you just gave blood.
BROOKE: No! The woman told me to re-hydrate myself and besides, if I’m gonna be seen in these shoes, I’m gonna need a drink or two.
Brooke: I thought I knew you. But I guess it’s easier to see what we want than to look for the truth. You think you know me, but you don’t, and that means you don’t know what I can do. You see me as someone who is popular and has all the answers. That’s not true. I may not always know what I am doing, but I’ll try to make things better. And when I make a mistake, because face it we all do, I promise I’ll ask for your help. I can’t do this alone, but if you’ll take a chance on me, we can do great things together. I promise if you believe me I’ll find the courage to reach for your every dream. JFK said that courage of life is a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy, a man does what he must in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures and that is the basis of all morality.
Brooke: Eww. You two realize you’re related, right?
Nathan: Hi Brooke.
Brooke: Double eww if Tutor Wife is here.
Lucas: She’s not. What’s up?
Brooke: Umm, my car is now out of commission, thanks to my jealous spiteful stain of a neighbour, and I was sort of thinking that you might want to walk to school together. Unless of course your waiting for your boy toy here.
(Haley and Nathan walk up)
Brooke: Oh, look. It’s our very own Britney Spears and… whoever she married this week. I have a question for you guys. What do you think, pink booties, or blue?
Haley: Booties? Brooke, I’m not pregnant.
Brooke: No. The only way this isn’t totally screwed up is if your knocked up, but don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.
Tim: What’s this lame-ass joke about you guys getting married?
Peyton: He’s in shock now that you’re officially off the market.
Brooke: It’s true Dim. Haley’s preggers.
Tim: Right. And Lucas moved away. You guys gotta do better if your gonna get one over on the Tim.
Haley: The Tim. (laughs)
Brooke: Okay, for future reference, driving a convertible filled with inflated rubbers, not smart!
Lucas: Helium condoms?
Brooke: If she’s pregnant, it’s a reminder, if she’s not, it’s a reminder. It’s cute. Hey Mouth, how’s your bod?
Lucas: You know Skillz and Fergie, right?
Brooke: Course I do. Hey guys. Do you know Peyton?
Skillz: What’s up, skinny girl?
Brooke: Peyton’s an 8.1 on LustFactor.
(Brooke takes a picture of Peyton’s chest)
Brooke: Soon to be a 9. You know, I was thinking, we can take the cameras, put them out on the tables, people can take pictures for the wedding wall.
Brooke: Care to know what else I have planned, I know you do! I have spray string, for when tutor girl and boy arrive, and Mouth, come here, sit.
(Brooke sits Mouth down in a spinning chair)
Peyton: What is that?
Brooke: This, missy blonde girl, is the Brooke Davis version of Spin the Bottle. Only this, is Spin the Body. (Brooke spins Mouth and it lands on Fergie) Okay, you two have to make out! And last but not least, we have 5 minutes in the elevator.
Lucas: I thought it was 5 minutes in the closet.
Brooke: Yeah, if your in junior high. But the great part about this is, you know how everybody has their elevator list?
Brooke: Your elevator list! Come on, the list of people your allowed to have sex with if your ever stuck in an elevator with them!
Skillz: Halle Berry.
Peyton: Jack Black.
Mouth: Brooke Davis.
Brooke: Well, everybody makes a list and if two people have each others names… five minutes in the elevator!
Lucas: Sounds like fun. Nice work Brooke.
Brooke: Thank you. Now all we need is a Nathan and a Haley.
(Brooke spins Mouth)
Mouth: (Pointing at Skillz) No. (Pointing at Brooke) Yes. (Pointing at Lucas) No. (Pointing at Peyton) Yes.
Brooke (to Felix after finding out he has a sister): You mean after they had you they rolled the dice and kept breeding? That’s risky.
Brooke: And to top it all off, if my parents go broke, I might actually have to study to get into college.
Peyton: My God, the horror!
Brooke: I know. How the mighty have fallen.
Brooke: Okay. Theresa, terrible posture. Pinch that penny. Bevin, you need…a breath mint. Peyton. Nice form. And excellent betrayal of a best friend. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. You guys! This weekend is the Classic. It’s our biggest cheer competition. Aren’t you sick of Clair Young and Bear Creek Warriors taking home the trophy every year? Because I am. We need to get it together here and I’m not just talking about our routine. I’m talking hair, nails…underarms, Theresa.
BEVIN: Brooke, cheerleading is supposed to be fun.
BROOKE: Yeah? Well winning’s funner. And if you don’t like it you can go cheer for the wrestling team. Take five.
PEYTON: Okay, you know what? You hate me, I get it. Fine. Just don’t take it out on our squad.
BROOKE: Everything is not about you, Peyton. Did you ever think that maybe I’m being a psycho-hose-beast because I want us to do well this weekend? Those judges are not going to be as forgiving as I am.
PEYTON: Funny, I didn’t know you were forgiving at all.
Brooke: Lucas Scott betrayal train, all aboard.
(Brooke takes a picture of Peyton in the shower for LustFactor)
Brooke: We are going to get you a 10 yet!
(Haley walks in)
Haley: Hey, is Peyton around? She said she was gonna loan me something to wear.
Brooke: Yeah, she’ll be out in a second.
Haley: Oh my God! Where did you get that picture of her?
Brooke: I got it off modern technology. It’s this free little project I’m doing to help expand her horizons.
Haley: By posting nude pictures of her on the Internet?
Brooke: Don’t worry, she’s gonna thank me once she sees the guys I’ve gotten lined up.
Haley (sees the picture of one): Oh, he’s cute. (sees another picture) Oh, really cute! (sees another picture) Oh, that’s what I’m talking about!
Brooke: Down girl. You can look at the menu all you want but from now on you eat at home.
Brooke: Guess who's in the lobby, I'll tell you. Claire Young and her little ho posse. We are going down there.
Peyton: Okay. And if an angry dance-off breaks out I got your back.
Brooke: Great. Just don't stick another knife in it.
BROOKE: I cannot believe the nerve of that little third rate Britney trying to pretend like she doesn’t recognize me.
PEYTON: Are you still obsessing over this? You made out with her boyfriend at camp.
BROOKE: I didn’t know they were dating, unlike some people. And besides he was a yell leader, he was gay anyway.
Brooke: It’s important to have somebody who can make you laugh, somebody you can trust, somebody that, you know, turns you on, and it’s really, really important that these 3 people don’t know each other!