A pretty picture for Onyx-chan...

Shusaku was at the kitchen table eating his breakfast; A single cup of ramen. After spending most of his food money on a bunch of expensive junk food for Aiko, he was left to eat only cups of ramen for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Quite depressing, actually. As Shusaku was eating his breakfast, Aiko walked in, dressed in her school uniform, and said, “Okay, Shusaku, I’m ready to go to school”.
Shusaku, still eating, said, “Let me finish breakfast”.
Aiko said, “You’re eating raman? In the morning?”
Shusaku said, a little annoyed, “Well, if someone didn’t make me use up all...

Today was a Sunday. There was no school today, so Shusaku thought this would be a good time to start his Death Angel training with Aiko. Shusaku and Aiko stood in the middle of a park. Thankfully, no one seemed to be around, so they had a perfect opportunity to train. Aiko had set up a dummy, which was standing on a stick. Aiko said, “Okay, Shusaku. Take out The Holy Gun That Can Defeat Demons and hit the dummy”.
Shusaku said, “We need to work on that name”.
Shusaku took out the gun, aimed at the dummy, and shot it right in the head. Aiko said happily, “Good shot, Shusaku… Okay, we’re...

“YOU LET HIM GET AWAY” Yelled Munemitsu
Yukiji said, “I’m sorry, Lord Munemitsu. But he had a Death Angel with him. I didn’t know what to do”.
Munemitsu stood over Yukiji and said, “You were supposed to eliminate him. This is why you are a Level 1 assassin”.
Munemitsu. The Demon King. He rules over a quarter of the underworld, and is known as one of the most diabolical of the 4 Demon Kings. Munemitsu was born from a woman and a snake, which explains snake shaped eyes. He was sent to the underworld, only to take over it, along with the other three Demon Kings. However, Munemitsu...

Link: Ganondorf, where are you
Ganondorf: Oh, there you are Link. Are you ready?
Link: I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. I will defeat you, and then, I will fuck up your shi- (Ganondorf punches him) AH, goddamn it. I wasn’t ready- (Gets punched again) WILL YOU STOP- (Ganondorf keeps punching Link)
Ganondorf: Oh god, do I love child abuse. (A giant Triforce appears) Ah, here it is. Now, I can finally make my wish, as god of the new world
Link: Fuck that. If anyone is going to be god, it’s me- (Gets punched again)
Ganondorf: Now, shut up, as I make my wish, and become the most powefu-
King of Red...

Shusaku was in the middle of running down a hallway for dear life. As he turned the corner, he stopped to take a breath, only for him to then start running again, as soon as he saw Rina, Kazuo, Yukiji, Mr. Tadakuni, and the entire female volleyball team running right toward him. Shusaku jumped in terror, then ran down the hall as fast as he could-
“Wait a second here”, replied Shusaku, breaking the fourth wall as much as he could. “If you want to know why I am being chased by the class president, an assassin, a psychotic teacher, and the volleyball team, then let me start from the beginning”....

King of Red Lions: You did it Link. You’ve collected all eight of the Triforce pieces
Link: And all it costed was three thousand rupees, as well as my patients
King of Red Lions: Well, now we must head back to the Sacred Realm, that isn’t so sacred anymore, but you get the idea
Link: Whatever….. Wait, how long has Tetra been down there
King of Red Lions: I don’t know, like, a week
Link: You still think she’s alive
King of Red Lions: …………… OH SHIT
(Later, in the Sacred Realm)
Link: Tetra, if you’re dead, I’m taking your wallet
Tetra: Link, your back
Link: Goddamn it, you’re still...

Wind: Note, because I couldn’t think of a single joke for this entire episode, you’ll just have to settle for this one little scene
Tingle: Oh, hello again, you sexy little boy
Link: Oh god, not you again
Tingle: Have you come here for me to claim your ass as my own
Link: Uh….. no
Tingle Jr: HELP ME
Tingle: Quiet slave
Tingle Jr: Yes master
Link: What the hell is this
Tingle: You see, Link, not only am I a pedophile who is wanted in the entire country, but I am also a slave owner. You see, Tingle Jr here pushes this wheel day and night. If he stops even once, I torture him like crazy. It’s so...

Link: Makar. It’s so good to see you again. How have you been?
Makar: FUCK YOU
Link: That’s great news. Hey, do you want to come with me to a temple, and try to save the world
Makar: I would rather fuck a cactus
Link: Glad to hear. Come on, Makar, lets get going
Makar: I fucking hate you
(Later, at the Wind Temple)
Link: Okay, now listen Makar. I need you to fly over there, and pull that switch, okay
Makar: Suck my balls, you green clothed fuck
Link: That’s a good boy. Now, get going. And good luck
Makar: (Jumps over to the switch, but gets grabbed by a Wallmaster) Oh, FUCK ME (Wallmaster runs...

Medli: (Gasp) Link, your back. Oh, I missed you so-
Link: Yeah, that’s fucking perfect. I’m just here because some fish girl ghost told me to come here
(3 Hours Earlier)
Link: So, what do I need to do
Fish Girl: Blelelelelelelelelelelele
Link: Okay then
(Now)
Link: And that is the only reason I would come twenty feet near you
Medli: Oh, that’s great. So, what do you want to do. Do you want to have sex in my room, or have sex on the beach, or have sex on your boat. Or we can get real crazy and just fuck right here, right now
Link: No, I need you to come with me to a temple filled with dead people...

Link: (Wakes up) Oh, god, where am I
Quill: Hey, Link
Komali: Hey Link, it’s good to see you again
Link: Oh god, don’t tell me I was saved by an idiot and a pussy
Quill: We saved the day
Link: Well, so much for self-esteem
Tetra: (Wakes up) Where the hell am I (See’s Link) Oh god, tell me we didn’t just do it
Link: Why would I want to sleep with some insufferable pirate girl
King of Red Lions: Enough! We must head back to the Once-Sacred-But-Now-Not-Sacred Realm.
Tetra: What the hell is he talking about
Link: You’ll see, just try and hold your breathe (Boat goes underwater)
Quill: Hey, Komli....

King of Red Lions: Okay, Link. Are you ready to save your sister from Ganondorf
Link: I’M GONNA GUT THAT FUCKING BIRD
King of Red Lions: Perfect. Then off we go
(Later)
King of Red Lions: Okay, Link. Now, just sneak in like you did last time, and- Link, why are you taking out your sword
Link: You honestly think I’m gonna sneak in again. Fuck that. The last time I tried being all stealthy, I was thrown far away by a giant bird, I met you of all people, and I had to travel across the sea, and talk to a sex driven bird girl, an adorable tree thing, a giant fish, and three statues that weren't even...

(A light appears from the ocean)
Link: What is that
King of Red Lions: It is the entrance to the sacred realm
Link: What makes it so sacred
King of Red Lions: It is a destroyed city, filled with hundreds of monsters, and the entire place is overlooked by a tower owned by the villain and………… Okay, it WAS sacred, but, that’s not the point right now. What is important is that you need a new item
Link: That depends. So far, all I got was a grappling hook, which I really haven’t used, and a Deku Leaf, and we didn’t even show footage of me getting it. Do I really want this new item
King of...

Link: So, what now
King of Red Lions: Now we must take these pearls, and put them on three different islands
Link: If that’s the case, then why didn’t we go to those fucking islands in the first place
King of Red Lions: Because, who gives a shit, now get going
Link: (Sighs) Goddamn it
(Later)
Red Statue: I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY
Link: Uh huh
Red Statue: I WANT TO BREAK SOMETHING, GODDAMN IT
Link: Yeah, I’m just going to put this pearl here (Places it in the statues hand)
Red Statue: FUCK YOU! LET ME PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE
Link: (Leaves)
Red Statue: WHY THE FUCK CAN’T I MOVE
(Later)
Blue Statue: I hate...

King of Red Lions: (Sails to a destroyed island) Oh my god
Link: Huh…. Is this Detroit Island
King of Red Lions: What happened to Great Fish Island
Quill: (Flies over) Hi, Link
Link: Oh god, not you again
Quill: I saw this green guy come and break the island. He scared a giant fishy and it swim away
Link: Swam, you idiot, not swim
King of Red Lions: Giant fishy? Oh, thank god, Lord Jalla is still safe
Link: Who?
King of Red Lions: A giant fish who has the last pearl
Link: Oh… well, where can we find him
King of Red Lions: Well, if I’m correct, he must have went to Outset Island
Link: You mean that...