( Author's note: the drawing belongs to Lt_Kowalski. I don't own it, but i wish i did, that's how epic it is)
*presses tape recorder button*
"0900 hours....Skipper's Log......
After the recent success of my life's story, I decided to do one for Kowalski. He doesn't know I'm doing this, so try to keep this under wraps, comprende?
I did background checks on all of my boys when they joined the team. I don't suppose i did it thoroughly enough, because there's a whole other side to Private that I-.... right...this is about Kowalski... you'll have to wait and see if i decide to do one for Private.
Rico's past is still shrouded in enough mystery to rival the smog in California, but Kowalski's is as clear as water considering he told me his entire life's story the day he joined.
But first, for those of you who don't know him, this is Kowalski:
He's my go-to guy for everything science and scienceish. He's been with us from he very beginning of what you humans know as our adventures right to the very end of our show, and I'm sure he'll be here for a long time after that!....He'd better be, anyways...
He can be a bit arrogant and overconfident, but i still appreciate him. He can build anything out of anything! The man's a genius!...except when his inventions endanger the fate of the universe....again...
Like the time when he built that snow come maker that enveloped EVERYTHING!
Private! Didn't i tell you a hundred thousand times NOT to exaggerate? It only covered New York!
As i was saying... I charge him when he gets TOO boastful about his brains. He's on his 5th Show-Off Jar now, and i have enough quarters to pay every parking meter in the Big Apple.
He can be wacky sometimes and ...TRIES to sound cool sometimes, but it never comes out right. It seems....forced, but he has...issues. He gets too defensive about science and emotions evade him. Not that we'd need them on our team! I don't allow nancy-cats on my elite team!
And yet he and Doris are still dating....
He over analyzes situations, and his plans are usually a few steps more than we need, but he's a brilliant bird, an amazing inventor, and i am PROUD to call him my lieutenant and friend.
From what he's told me, he's 24 years old. His parents have Polish blood in them from somewhere in his family tree. he speaks several languages including Russian (which came in handy when the Red Squirrel started insulting us in Russian once)He was born in a Florida hatchery. He spent the early years of his life messing around in the veterinary labs. Surgical tools were his first toys, in fact.
He grew up loving science and mathematics and had his fair share of screw ups trying to escape from the zoo he lived in. I forget what it was called now, but they eventually had him transferred to the Bronx Zoo. It was there when he decided he didn't like the life of a Zoo animal and packed his copies of Scientific American and left for the same training academy that eventually Rico would graduate from a few years later.
It was in that penguin Training Academy where an 18 year old Kowalski became the full-fledged scientist we know today. His first invention, ironically, worked without blowing up, and it still does to this day! it was some sort of teleportation device.
The thing only could move you a few feet in one direction-....
One Direction? How did you know that was my favorite band, skipper?
Private....enough with the interruptions! I'm trying to tell these probably -bored-to-bits-with-your-interruptions humans about Kowalski! please...just go and watch TV....sorry to sound like a jerk, but i had enough interruptions with my own biography.
You ok? No feelings hurt?
Anyways... he left the academy and made his way to the Central Park Zoo shortly before our big adventure in Madagascar during them summer of '05.
The rest is history.
God forbid if i ever lose Kowalski like i almost lost Manfredi and Johnson. He's been with me the longest, and probably knows more about me than I'd care to admit. In many ways, he's a brave bird and a truly great individual, and one of the best friends I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.
Kowalski, thanks for everything.