I really need Peter right now

I've been on this site for about a year now and in that time I've been slipping in and out of belief. It's difficult being a 16 year old boy and believing in Peter Pan and I quite often... not stop believing but more stop thinking about him because it's easier to clear my mind of him than to be constantly thinking about him and him never showing up.It's been an interesting year, I've fallen in love twice and had my heart broken both times and I've never felt more lonely yet at the same time I haven't felt this happy since my pre-teen years. It's weird and I don't really know how I feel or what I believe but what I know for sure is I need to believe in Peter right now so that's what I'm trying my hardest to do. This sin't really a question, I just needed to vent :)