Michael Jackson and Macaulay Culkin

It was the night before my birthday, and I could absolutely not fall asleep. I was nervous but excited at the same time. Despite my insomnia, Prince had no trouble falling asleep. His snoring was filling the room. It was horrible. I think that was one of the reasons I couldn't fall asleep. I sighed. Whatever. I grabbed my book and turned the lamp on my side table on. Prince was a heavy sleeper, so he wouldn't mind. I started to read, every word making me more drowsy then the other. Eventually I passed out while in the middle of a paragraph.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY...

The reason that this is so late is because the lady who gave birth to me left her computer at her job for 3 weeks. I had written this ages ago, but it’s okay…No it’s not. But you’ll get over it.

“And how does that make you feel?” Paris asked Jaafar for the third time in a row

“It makes me feel like crap! I told you that a million times already.” Jaafar said frustrated. “How do you think it feels to be betrayed by your own cousin?”

“Jaafar, it was three weeks ago. GET OVER IT!”, Paris exclaimed

“Why would I? They were sleeping together!” Jaafar said

“You make it sound...