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Excerpt:
Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send...

Excerpt:
Yeah, I just needed to do a D.A.R.E. Essay, and I had it typed up on my computer, so I just copied and pasted it here, so I go on this site at school, and copy and paste it to google docs there, so I can print it out there. Yeah, people who do drugs, please don't be offended by this, since I needed to do this essay, so, yeah.

D.A.R.E. Essay

I have learned a lot of valuable things from D.A.R.E. this year. D.A.R.E. stands for Drug Abusive Resistance Education. One this is not to do drugs. There are a lot of different kinds of drugs, but the most common drugs are...

Excerpt:
Narrator: You are entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster, or some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples; it could also be something much better. Prepare to enter: The Scary Door.

Last Man: [Walks into library]

Narrator: As per your request, please find enclosed the last man on Earth.

Last Man: Finally, solitude. I can read books for all eternity! [drops his glasses] It's not fair, it's not fair! [calms down] Wait, my eyes aren't that bad; I can still read the large-print...

Love and Relationship Quotes-best collections

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