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Opinion by -SkySplitter- posted 9 hours ago
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Disclaimer: I didn't make any of these. Credit goes to their original creators.

1. Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

A. Get in the car

2. A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink.

"Long day?" the bartender asks.

"No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

3. Q. What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common?

A. They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.

4. A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck.

5. Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

A. Wheres my tractor?

6. A: Knock knock!

B: Come in.

7. Knock Knock
Who's there?
The police, your entire family died in a car accident.
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Article by BlackPetals posted 2 days ago
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While getting out of shower/dressing: *One shoulder towel* I'M GREEK, MOTHERF*CKER! Oookay, and that's how you know I've had too much internet, *nervous laugh* With stories from the four corners of the world. The world is round, you stupid beisch, it doesn't have corners. Yes it does! IT'S ROUND. NO CORNERS. *Self STFU stare* THE ROUND PART IS THE CORNERS, YOU PRAT.
*Cornerception*
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! I am the truth... You're dead to me.

*SNK fan, anyone?*
Eren: Don't drop that thun thun thun.
Eren and Armin: Eyy! Don't drop that thun thun thun!
Eren, Armin, and Levi: Don't drop that thun thun thun, don't drop that thun thun thun--
Mikasa: ... *Facepalm*

In shower: It's Leevi. No, uh... Leevei? Damn it.... Livee. No! Stupid brain, you're such a disgrace. >:I It's Leevee... oh goddamnit. Was it too hard, TOO HARD, TO GIVE THIS OCD HUNK A SPEECHABLE(idfk either) NAME? OH MY GOOOOOOD!

After shower: "An' no more Levi (Correct pronunciation) fic--" le gasp. " I said it right. I SAID IT RIGHT. SUCK IT!"
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Article by icare2 posted 3 days ago
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What is it about fecundity that so appalls? Is it that with nature's bounty goes a crushing waste that threatens our own cheap lives?

by Annie Dillard
wakened myself last night with my own shouting. It must have been that terrible yellow plant I saw pushing through the flood-damp soil near the log by Tinker Creek, the plant as fleshy and featureless as a slug, that erupted through the floor of my brain as I slept, and burgeoned into the dream of fecundity that woke me up.

I was watching two huge luna moths mate. Luna moths are those fragile ghost moths, fairy moths, whose five-inch wings are swallow-tailed, a pastel green bordered in silken lavender. From the hairy head of the male sprouted two enormous, furry antennae that trailed down past his ethereal wings. He was on top of the female, hunching repeatedly with a horrible animal vigor.

It was the perfect picture of utter spirituality and utter degradation. I was fascinated and could not turn away my eyes. By watching them I in effect permitted their mating to take place and so committed myself to accepting the consequences—all because I wanted to see what would happen. I...
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