When you're happy and you know it bomb Iraq
If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq.

If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think Saddam's gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
(And he tried to kill your dad),
Bomb Iraq.

If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think someone's dismissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.

If your corporate fraud is growin', bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin', bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that ain't easy,
And your manhood's getting queasy,
Bomb Iraq.

It's 'pre-emptive non-aggression', bomb Iraq.
Let's prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They've got weapons we can't see,
And that's good enough for me
'Cos it's all the proof I need
Bomb Iraq.

Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We'll call it treason,
Let's make war not love this season,
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq.


Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars,
the beautiful sky and the endless horizon
and suddenly I thought where the fuck is my roof?

To all medics: As from may 2001 viagra will only be available from the pharmacy under its chemical name. Please ask for ……….
Mycoxaflopin    

Humpty dumpty fucked a fat whore,
Humpty dumpty fell on the floor,
All the kings horses
and all the kings men bent the bitch over
and fucked her again

Sing a song of syphillis
a fanny fulla crabs
four and twenty blackheads twice as many scabs,
when the scabs pop open
the heads begin to sing
wasn't it a minging cunt to stick your penis in

It's not the length its not the size
its how many times you can make it rise

Roses are red Violets are blue
I have crabs and now so do you


(for Mobile phone)
Do u take me 2 b ur lawful wedded text m8,
2 have & 2 hold 4 dirty jokes & saucy quotes,
through poor reception & no signal,
until low battery do us part.

Last night i wanted you
I needed you so badly it hurt.
I wanted you
inside me to work your magic on me
but i couldn't find you
………… stupid paracetamol

Sex is a sin,
sins are forbidden,
sins are forgiven
so get stuck in

I love the way it rubs against my soft pink flesh
and creates a foamy liquid
as it thrusts in and out up and down
I can't wait for the next time
I love my toothbrush

Twinkle, twinkle, massive knob.
Mary likes it in her gob
but when she feels that certaim twitch
she pulls it out the spiteful bitch.

Three blond MEN are stranded on one side of a wide river, and don't know how to get across.
The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river, so God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across.
The second man prays to God to make him even smarter, so God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across.
Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all, so God turns him into a woman and he walks across the bridge

(for a mobile phone)
You're so sexy, you drive me insane.
You fuck me so hard I'm always in pain.
Your sexy voice puts in slumber.
Oh fuck I'm sorry I've got the wrong number...

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
whos the fairest of them all?
The mirror laughed and gave a grunt,
Its not you, you ugly cunt!