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"Joe!It wasn't any of the three girls!What now?"Josie asked."Whoa wait,Three?There was only two in her apartment!It Was Natalie and Penny!Natalie came in to see if Kate was okay!Then she called the cops!That means it was-"Joe said."Penny!!!What!!That's IT!"Josie said as she got her walkie talkie thing."Attention all units!This 92-J4!I need a couple cops to back me up at Walnut Evergreen 46 lane!And hurry!"Josie said.
"Thanks Joe!"7 Minutes later she and 4 other cops were at Penny's house."Okay,One,Two,Three!"Jenny said,As they busted down the door.They heard a gulp upstairs."Upstairs,Go go go."Josie whispered so Penny wouldn't hear.Seconds later they saw Penny.
"FBI PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK!"An officer said.But Penny didn't,she opened the window and climbed out!"Son of a!GO GO GO!BACK DOOR JENNY!
FRONT DOOR STEVE!ME AND SAM GO OUT THE WINDOW GO GO GO!!!!!"Josie said."I WANT THAT SON OF BI*** DEAD NOW!"Josie said as she and officer Sam ran down the street trying to find Penny."Go this way!I'll be on the other side!"Sam commanded."Alright!"Josie agreed.
"God!Lord help me!"Penny said.Then she saw a fence and jumped over it."Where to go!!!!????"
Josie got her walkie talkie thing out and said."I think I heard her!Sam go on the right of the fence!We gotta surround her!"38 Seconds later:
"STOP!PENNY!YOU'RE SURROUNDED!!"Sam said as he pulled up his gun."Stop!!!I HAVE A GUN TOO!"Penny announced."Really?No way!what kind?"Sam said as he motioned Josie."Um let me check..."Penny said as Sam shot the gun outta her hand and Josie handcuffed her."THAT'S IT PENNY!YOUR GOING TO PRISON!DON'T STRUGGLE!!!"Josie said."GET DOWN YOU B****!!!"Sam said
added by AnxiousSoul
Source: tumblr-l8m0vmZ33o1qc2zn8o1-1280.jpg
added by ace2000
added by ace2000
posted by CokeTheUmbreon
Motherfucking animals!  -Martin Garrix
Motherfucking animals! -Martin Garrix
Hey, Fanpoppers! CokeTheUmbreon here, and I'm gonna tell you my favorite yo mama jokes! Please note that I don't own most of these. The jokes I do own will have a random emoji by dem. I was bored thnx to the inactivity and my friend not being around to RP with me today.

P.S. The random emojis neither the Umbreon pics will fit the theme of the jokes.

Anyways, let's get it on!

Yo mama so fat when she walks her love handles hit the quan. 😎

Yo mama so stank they use her bathwater as chemical weapons.

Yo mama so fat when she outweighs Groudon. 😈

Yo mama so ugly she gave Darkrai nightmares.

Yo mama...
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added by Eula2003
added by ace2000
posted by pinkydoll
1-Dolphin sleeps with one eye open.

2-"silent" and "listen" use exactly the same letters.

3-An octopus has two hearts

4-Bull frogs do not sleep.

5-There are more chickens than human in the world.

6-flamingos gets their distinctive color from the food they eat.

7-The hair of polar bear is not white it's transparent.

8-Turtles can breathe through their rear-rends

9-The sun comprises 99% of total mass of our solar system.

10-Butterflies taste with their feet.

11-Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

12-there are about 550 hairs in each of your eyebrow.

13-A snail can sleep for 3 years.

14-A human eye can distinguish 10 million different colors.

15-Women blink their eyes twice than men.
added by Mollymolata
added by Mollymolata
posted by alice1919119
This 15 year old girl used to maintain a common diary with her 13 year old best friend in which they wrote how they felt about each other and their friendship. When she discovered that her friend who had been a patient of clinical depression had tried to kill herself, she wrote this in the diary and it brought her best friend to tears...
The names have been changed as per author's request...


November 13

Dear Amira,

K so... without going on about any trivial stuff this time, you should know that I've more than you'd expect to say about stuff I usually don't go on about on phone or in person......
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added by Mollymolata
posted by slenderman777
About five years ago I lived downtown in a major city in the US. I've always been a night person, so I would often find myself bored after my roommate, who was decidedly not a night person, went to sleep. To pass the time, I used to go for long walks and spend the time thinking.

I spent four years like that, walking alone at night, and never once had a reason to feel afraid. I always used to joke with my roommate that even the drug dealers in the city were polite. But all of that changed in just a few minutes of one evening.

It was a Wednesday, somewhere between one and two in the morning, and...
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added by ShadowFan100
added by 3xZ
(From Shovel Knight)

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! PROPELLER KNIGHT! V.S. KING KNIIIIIIIGHT!

BEGIN!

Propeller Knight: Bonjour, senior asshole, it's time to start!
Just don't start crying when I break your heart!
Your nothing more than a wannabe king!
I'm a flying swordsman who can really sing!

I have a battleship, a girlfriend, and can soar through the skies!
Your just a 2 year old who loves to eat pies!
Bring it on monsieur, just try to pierce these sexy eyes!
This rap battle will bring you to your ultimate demise!

King Knight: Sorry I couldn't hear you, my swag was too loud!
I'm...
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1. Play hide and seek!

2. Tell your boy/girlfriend how much you love them.

3. STREAKING! ^__^

4. Give everyone hugs!

5. Give the homeless all your money.

6. Take a shower! Don't want to be dirty before you die.

7. Play the scariest horror game you know.

8. Tell your friends all your deepest secrets.

9. Grab everything at Target. :D

10. Do the cinnamon challenge. With cocaine. (You're going to die anyways.)

11. MORE STREAKING! ^___^

12. Take a look back at your life's greatest moments.

13. Do that one thing you've always wanted to do. (In my case, skydiving.)

14. Play some Pac-Man. :P Just because.

15. Go...
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added by xwolf19
CELEBS WHO HAVE BEEN TURNED DOWN BY THEIR CRUSHES

Not even the One Direction lads get dates with all the people they like! Here's a list of celebs who have been turned down by their crushes.

Emma Watson: “Between the ages of ten and twelve I had a really terrible crush on Tom Felton, to the extent that I would go into work in the morning and look down the numbers on the call sheet to see if he was going to be in. We love a bad guy, he was a few years older and he had a skateboard — and that just did it really." She confessed her feelings, but Tom saw Emma in a “younger, sisterly way.”...
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posted by KissKissHannah
There is someone on deviantART. Not enclosing names because they may also have a fanpop account. *shivers* My friend said he was a troll, but he's more than a troll. He's a big BULLY. (The person I mean. Not my friend) He said I bragged about being straight (How insulting) and said my drawings were *insert a word that rhymes with hit here*. ;n; That was only because I occasionally drew on bases. He also said I was more annoying than the annoying fangirls. Just because we have different opinions does NOT mean he has the right to bully me! I don't bully anyone who has different opinions! HE is the one that's more annoying than the annoying fangirls! >:U
posted by ZacharyWhite
When some random girl added me on facebook... She was all like "Oh gosh you're so cute" and I was like "Yeah, sure whatever..." The again she was all like "Oh God I love your style!!!" Then again I was like "Yeah.. sure.." Then she said "Oh gosshhh!!! It's like I can hear your voice talking in your message!!! You're an emo right? I'm an emo tooooo!! :-D Oh it's like we're SO MEAN'T TO BE!!!" Then I finally realize and said to myself "Shit I have a fangirl... okay, I'm doomed."

Girl: Hello? You still there?
Me: No...
Girl: Oh you're soooo funnyy :3 We are so the same!!! Ugh! I wish I could just...
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