Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did you get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat, when she sees an elephant she puts her wedding ring on.
Chuck Norris has got golden yellow pee. He likes clean bananas.
Get it? His banana, it's clean? A banana is yellow?
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says:"OK, now what?"
A duck walksinto a bar, goes up to the barman, and asks him, "Can I have a piece of bread?"
The Barman replies, "No, we don't serve food here."
A little later the duck goes back to the barman and asks,"Can I have a piece of bread?"
The Barman replies, "I've already told you, no we don't serve food here."
A little later after that, the duck goes up to the barman AGAIN and asks, "Can I have a piece of bread>"
The Barman has had enough, "I'll tell you for the last time,No, wo don't have any bread, we don't serve any food here. Now if you come back and ask me for breadone last time,I'll nail both of your feet to the floor!"
The duck goes away and returns a short time later and asks, "Do you have any nails?"
The Barman says, "No, we don't have any nails."
"Well", replies the duck. "How about a piece of bread then?"!!!