Write an Article

Random Opinion Article

29 Annoying Ways To Order Pizza

Opinion by slytherin360 posted over a year ago
fan of it?
108 fans
save
found this on the net:

29 Annoying Ways to Order a Pizza

1. Start the conversation with "My call to (Pizza Place), take one... and... ACTION!"

2. If using a touch-tone phone, press random numbers while ordering. Tell the person taking the order, "would you please stop doing that...?"

3. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

4. Do not name your toppings; rather, spell them out.

5. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

6. Order 52 pepperoni slices arranged in a fractal pattern following from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they're getting all of this down.

7. If they repeat the order to verify it, say "OK. Your total comes to $10.99. Please pull up to the window."

8. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say "Yes," heave a sigh of relief.

9. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni," using a long "i" sound.

10. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)?" When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When finally offered proof that they are really (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"

11. Ask to see a menu.

12. Say you'll be able to pay for this "when the Hollywood people call back."

13. Demand imperiously, "Do you have ANY IDEA what is at stake with this pizza?!?"

14. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

15. Punctuate your sentences with exclamations such as "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."

16. Start the conversation by reciting the date and time, and saying, "This may be my last entry."

17. Sing the order to the tunes of songs from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" album: "Chop your pizza on a mirror!"; "Master! Master! Put hot sausages on my pizza!"; or "Gimme Pizza! You will do what I say, when I say Gimme Pizza!"

18. Give your order, then state firmly, "And that's as far as this relationship is going to get."

19. Ask for a deal available from a different pizza chain (e.g., if phoning Domino's, ask for a CheeserCheeser)

20. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza. Repeat this nested loop until asked to stop, then explain that you got "stuck."

21. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

22. Learn to imitate a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.

23. Attempt to teach the order-taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

24. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

25. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

26. Order with a Speak-n-Spell.

27. If order-taker suggests a side order, ask why s/he is punishing you.

28. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, (So-and-so)."

29. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your poutiest voice, "LAST guy let me do it..."


Share this article with others!

Around the Web

24 comments

user photo
These made me laugh out loud, literally.
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
lol:)

here's a conversation that my friend had with the pizza guy at pizza hut once (his name was tom, and her name is brenna):

tom: hello
brenna: hi is this pizza hut speaking?
tom: yes how may we help you?
brenna: what is your name?
tom: tom, why?
brenna:i was just wondering...
tom:are you gonnna order some pizza?
brenna: i have to tell you i am not very satisfied with your service.
tom: why not?
brenna:because, you dont seem to have much time for your customers
tom:i dont have much time for anybody, actually
brenna:ahhh i see what the problem is
tom:what?
brenna:do you have a girlfriend?
tom:no why?
brenna: well i think after this you should get one.
tom:.....
brenna:goodbye
click


and then a couple days later she called again and a girl answered

girl:hello
brenna:hi is this pizza hut speaking?
girl:yes, how may we help you?
brenna:yes, is tom there please?
girl:uh...no...not right now.
brenna:i see...well if you see him, tell him he needs a girlfriend
click
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
XD
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
cara-girl said:
LOL i LOVE these!!!
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
AWESOME!!! i'm gonna try!!
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
lol, gonna do it!!!
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
wow. i work at a pizza place, and if any of these happened, the person taking the order would hang up, swear, then tell everyone else, who would laugh their heads off.
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
HAHA that's fantastic!
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
haha. that was so funny!
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
duckey94 said:
LOLZZZ.
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
lol
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
Annaoth said:
Lol xD
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
18squirt said:
lol!!
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
Lol
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
laugh
angiii7 said:
LOL!
XD
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
Hilarious!
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
cool, i wanna do this 2! the only 1 i have actually done so far is num. 11. the guy was like, "haven't u already been here before?" and i was like "nope. i live in hollwood." and he was like "uhuh. right. *sighs* i guess i'll have 2 get u a menu, hollywood person." but it was so funny.
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
big smile
.....nice
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
laugh
*Goes to phone to do number 26*
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
big smile
I Got A FIne for doing # 29 0_o lolz it was worth it. XD
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
Stupid.
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
laugh
It may be 10:30 here... But meh, Imma do it anyway! :D
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
I gotta try this! LOL!
posted over a year ago.
 
user photo
Hhhhhh lol I might do that once
posted over a year ago.