When is 99 more than 100?
ANS: A microwave. Generally when you run a microwave for '99' it runs for 1 minute and 39 seconds. '100' runs for 1 minute.
What is brown and sticky?
ANS: A stick!
What two things can you never eat for breakfast?
ANS: Lunch and dinner!
Suppose you had to pick 1 of 3 doors to go through. One has ninja assassins, one has a lion that hasn't eaten in 3 months, and one has a flaming inferno. Which door should you choose in order to live?
ANS: The one with the lion. It hasn't eaten in 3 months, therefore it's dead!!
At work a lady is requested to move a 2 ton machine with out any assist.How is she able to move the item?
ANS: She is in space
What loses its head in the morning and gets it back at night?
ANS: A pillow.
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
ANS: A carrot!
What is a word made up of 4 letters, yet is also made up of 3. Sometimes is written with 9 letters, and then with 4. Rarely consists of 6, and never is written with 5.
ANS: Correct, the word 'what' has 4 letters in it, 'yet' has three, 'sometimes' has 9, 'then' has 4, 'rarely' has 6, and 'never' has 5.
A poor man is sitting in a pub. He sees that the man next to him is extremely rich.
Poor man: I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.
The rich man laughs.
Poor man: I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a popular song that includes a lady's name of your choosing.
The rich man laughs again.
Rich man: OK, how about my daughter's name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller?
The poor man goes home rich.
What song did he sing?
ANS: "Happy Birthday." This song can be sang with anybody's name in it.
What belongs to you but others use it more than you do? Your name.
IF YOU LIKE THEM I WILL POST MORE LATER;)