FUNNY SOUTH PARK MOMENTS:
#1: (I FORGET THE TITLE):
Stan: Shut up Cartman, you silly goose!
Randy: (stops car) WHAT DID YOU SAY!?
Stan: I just me-
Randy: You call him an a*** like normal people!
Stan: But dad I-
Randy: STANLEY CALL YOURR FRIEND AN A*** RIGHT NOW!!
Stan: ... Cartman your an a***.
Randy: Thank you!
#2: CHRISTIAN ROCK BAND:
Cartman (forms a band with Butters and Token): I resent that, sir! I have never in my life done anything just for the money! If I'm lying may the Lord strike me down right now.
*Cue Butters and Token looking up at the sky in fear and Butters backing away.*
Jimmy: Hey Stan.
Stan: Jimmy, will you go talk to Wendy for me?
Jimmy: For- Forw- Forw-w-w what?
Stan: Just go talk to her an, and be poetic. Tell her she's my Muse-no! Tell her, [thinks] tell her... [gestures] she's a con-tinuing source of inspiration to me.
Jimmy: S-She's what?
Stan: She's a continuing source of inspiration to me.
Jimmy: ...Okay. [walks over to Wendy] Hey uh-Wen, hey wu-Wendy. [she turns around with her books]
Jimmy: Stan says you're a cont, you're a- cont- S-Stan says you're a cont- cont-
Wendy: WELL TELL STAN TO F*** OFF!! [closes her locker and runs away]
Jimmy: -cont- You're a cont-tinuing source of inspiration to him.
#4: CHRISTMAS IN CANADA:
Cartman: It's Christmas. We officially missed it. It's Christmas Day and ... I'm in Canada!
Kyle: Well yeah, but ah-I got my brother back.
Cartman: Yeah! You got your brother back, but I didn't get any presents! [takes off his mittens] And what did I tell you, Kyle?! [unbuttons his jacket, takes it off, and bunches it up] I told you that if we didn't make it back in time for Christmas I was gonna whup your a**, didn't I?! [tosses his jacket away]
Kyle: Dude, come on.
Cartman: Well now you're gonna get it, m***! That's right! You and me! Right now! [puts up his fists] We're havin' it out! Let's go! Come on! Come on!!
Kyle: ... (Puts up his fists and gives Cartman a light punch in the face).
Cartman: ... (blinks a few times and begins to cry).
#5: SOMETHING WALMART THIS WAY COMES:
Cartman: [Inside the store] Whoa, Pixie Sticks, twenty-nine ceeeents? [freezes in place and hears sounds] Wall-Mart? ...Are you speaking to me? ...My friends? ...Trying to hurt you again? [turns a little angry] Yes, Wall-Mart. I understand. [with a look of determination, he leaves the store.]
Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are at the ticket booth.
Stan: Three tickets to Bentonville, Arkansas, please.
Cartman: [rushing up to join them] Wait! Guys! Hold on! I wanna go with you and help out.
Kyle: No way! You wanna go with us so you can betray us at some point and keep us from destroying the Wall-Mart!
Cartman: ........ Nuh-uh.
#6: MEDICAL FRIED CHICKEN:
Stan: Dad, mom says to stop trying to give yourself cancer.
Randy: Just gonna get a little cancer Stanley, tell mom it's okay.
When the boys fake Butters's death by throwing down a dead pig, the pig smashes into the pavement, spreading blood and guts everywhere, a medic comes to examine the body.
Medic: He.. Didn't make it.
Butters: (beliving he's a vampire, approaches a sleeping Cartman by sneaking into Cartman's room, and bites into Cartman's neck, making sucking sounds. Cartman wakes up and looks at him]
Cartman: Butters? [Butters continues] Butters what the hell?! [Butters backs up and then hops off the bed]
Butters: I can't do it. Ah, I- I can't do it! [he vomits on Cartman's floor]
Cartman: Dude!! [Liane enters]
Butters: [hisses at Liane, then runs out through the window and crashes to the ground outside.]
Liane: What's going on?
Cartman: Well, Mom, apparently Butters is gay, finds me very attractive, and, confused about his sexual identity, puked up all over my floor!
Liane: ... Oh dear.
#9: RAISING THE BAR:
Man: Mr Cameron. The people should know how you saved them/
James Cameron: .. James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is... James Cameron.
#10: NIGHTMARE ON FACETIME:
Yates: How many people are at the Monster Mash?
Cop 1: Most of the town, sir. It's a graveyard smash.
Cop 2: Look, whatever we do, we'd better hurry. It gets on in a flash.
#11: OH JEEZ:
(the fact this episode played the week Trump was elected)
News anchor: And uh, definitely a bit of a surprise here. Looks like America has voted for a change of pace. The world is in a bit of a shock, uh... Is this? We're, we're for sure this is for real, right?
Randy: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!? YOU MANIACS!! [a man seated near the entrance pulls a gun out his back pocket and shoots himself in the head, falling off the chair.]
Sharon: My son has become a Mongolian? No! Noooo!! [buries her head in Randy's chest]
Richard: Oh God. What have we done? We sent our children away, and now they don't even remember who they are.
Roger: Kids? Don't you remember us?
Randy: Wait wait. I learned some Mongolian in college. [steps forth] Ah, let's see. Uh. K-kids, uh, Bi kute. Bi salnek kute. Uh-d tah tasobarro.
Stan (face palm): Oh my God, our parents are so stupid, dude
Randy: Bi kute.
Roger: We are your parents. You used to live here, with us.
Kyle: Yeah, it was like four days ago!
Richard: They're starting to remember.
Randy: [walks quickly and kneels next to Stan] Staaan. Your name... is Staaan!
Stan: Uh huh, Stan Marsh.
Randy: [holds Stan firmly] That's it! Remember, son! Rememmmber! [the rest of the parents rush out and hug their own kids, crying in relief]
Randy: Come kids. [steps forward] With us, now come. Home. Hoomme. [all turn and walk towards town through the gap in the great wall]
Stan: [to Kyle] Jesus Christ, dude, they've done some stupid crap before, but Jesus Christ. [faces forward and continues walking]