These are purported to be actual test answers from various schools in the Huntsville, Alabama metropolitan area.
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
SOCIOLOGY
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
BIOLOGY
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section."
A: The caesarian section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.
ENGLISH
Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
TECHNOLOGY
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
RELIGION
Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lay eggs.
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
SOCIOLOGY
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
BIOLOGY
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section."
A: The caesarian section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.
ENGLISH
Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
TECHNOLOGY
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
RELIGION
Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lay eggs.
American Twi-hards — bad news…don’t get TOO used to Robert Pattinson frolicking all over the States!
It sounds like the heartbroken Cosmopolis star won’t be hanging around here for too much longer!
R-Patz is getting ready to shoot his next film, The Rover, an indie flick to be filmed in Australia and it seems like it’ll serve as a MUCH needed escape!
A source revealed:
“Rob wants to get away for a while, and is looking forward to filming in the desert in Australia. He needs some space.”
We’d say the land down under is pretty much as far enough away from Kristen Stewart as he can get, LOLz!
Sounds like Rob will continue to keep busy — and hopefully, keep his mind off his broken relationship — when he films Queen Of The Desert this fall and Mission: Blacklist next year!
KStew on the other hand…well, let’s just say things haven’t been shaping up too well!
It sounds like the heartbroken Cosmopolis star won’t be hanging around here for too much longer!
R-Patz is getting ready to shoot his next film, The Rover, an indie flick to be filmed in Australia and it seems like it’ll serve as a MUCH needed escape!
A source revealed:
“Rob wants to get away for a while, and is looking forward to filming in the desert in Australia. He needs some space.”
We’d say the land down under is pretty much as far enough away from Kristen Stewart as he can get, LOLz!
Sounds like Rob will continue to keep busy — and hopefully, keep his mind off his broken relationship — when he films Queen Of The Desert this fall and Mission: Blacklist next year!
KStew on the other hand…well, let’s just say things haven’t been shaping up too well!
I love being random!!!! I love pie too!!! And Im really hyper and i love dogs, cats..... ahhhahahah ok anyways pie is good!!! Im boredd and typing nonsense!! hahahahah I llove softball and chapstick, and tigger, winnie the pooh, music, giraffes, piglet pans(;)) I like cCHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SOrry but this article is pointless to read lol :) (Im random)
Doctor:Sir,I have bad news and worse news.Patient:What's the bad news?Doctor:You only have 24 hours to live.Patient:Well what could be WORSE than that?!Doctor:I've been trying to call you since yesterday!
Maria:Kim,where's Kitty?Kim:I don't know,Maria.Maybe she's..Derek:Mom said you couldn't have a cat.Ooooh!I'm telling!Maria:Mom never said I couldn't have a LION instead.Derek:WHAT?!*chewing and swallowing noises*Maria:Kitty,there you are!
Yolanda:Come on,Sal.Let's play Hide-and-Seek!Sal:No,that's boring.Yolanda:We've got nothing better to do.Sal:FINE.I'll count!*after 20 seconds*Sal:READY OR NOT,HERE I CO-OME!YOLANDA WAS NOT FOUND UNTIL THREE DAYS LATER AT FUNZONE.Sal:YOLANDA!!I've been looking for you FOREVER!Yolanda:Your right,Sal,Hide-and-Seek IS boring*slurps smoothie*Yolanda:Hey...is this icecream expired?
Maria:Kim,where's Kitty?Kim:I don't know,Maria.Maybe she's..Derek:Mom said you couldn't have a cat.Ooooh!I'm telling!Maria:Mom never said I couldn't have a LION instead.Derek:WHAT?!*chewing and swallowing noises*Maria:Kitty,there you are!
Yolanda:Come on,Sal.Let's play Hide-and-Seek!Sal:No,that's boring.Yolanda:We've got nothing better to do.Sal:FINE.I'll count!*after 20 seconds*Sal:READY OR NOT,HERE I CO-OME!YOLANDA WAS NOT FOUND UNTIL THREE DAYS LATER AT FUNZONE.Sal:YOLANDA!!I've been looking for you FOREVER!Yolanda:Your right,Sal,Hide-and-Seek IS boring*slurps smoothie*Yolanda:Hey...is this icecream expired?
Ok it was about 6:30am and i was going to my car to
go to school.Suddenly a figure pops up at my dads
bedroom window.Then it holds my stepmams phone up and it lights her eyes up.WEll i jumped back and screamed.My dad just kept looking up at the window.
Then the figure held the phone up to her ear and my dad got a phone call it was off my step mam.My dad looked up again.The figure pointed at the phone.My dad answerd it.
It was my stepmam saying i had forgotton my jumper
lol
but the way i jumped back was histerical i like leaped back and screamed at the top of my lungs
AAAAGGGHHH
lol
go to school.Suddenly a figure pops up at my dads
bedroom window.Then it holds my stepmams phone up and it lights her eyes up.WEll i jumped back and screamed.My dad just kept looking up at the window.
Then the figure held the phone up to her ear and my dad got a phone call it was off my step mam.My dad looked up again.The figure pointed at the phone.My dad answerd it.
It was my stepmam saying i had forgotton my jumper
lol
but the way i jumped back was histerical i like leaped back and screamed at the top of my lungs
AAAAGGGHHH
lol
Today,Our QUESTION is from:mistymaydawngo:
Q:WHY ARE BANANAS YELLOW?
A:When unripe, the peel of the banana contains chlorophyll, a green pigment that is at the basis of photosynthesis and is so intense that it masks all the other color pigments in the fruit. When the fruit ripens, the membrane surrounding the chlorophyll weakens and permits enzymes to reach and destroy the green pigment. At the same time, that enzymes acts on vitamin A.
Get it?Got IT?Yeah I didn't either!I just Googled it
A shout out to :mistymaydawngo!
remember to comment your Questions and I'll answer ASAP!
Q:WHY ARE BANANAS YELLOW?
A:When unripe, the peel of the banana contains chlorophyll, a green pigment that is at the basis of photosynthesis and is so intense that it masks all the other color pigments in the fruit. When the fruit ripens, the membrane surrounding the chlorophyll weakens and permits enzymes to reach and destroy the green pigment. At the same time, that enzymes acts on vitamin A.
Get it?Got IT?Yeah I didn't either!I just Googled it
A shout out to :mistymaydawngo!
remember to comment your Questions and I'll answer ASAP!
I saw this on cracked.com and I don't have Excel so I want to know if this is real...
1. Open Excel 95 with a blank work sheet
2. Go down to the 95th row
3. Select the whole row
4. Tab over to coloum B
5. Goto Help/About
6. Hold down ctrl-alt-shift and click on the tech support button
7. A window appears call "Hall of Tortured souls"
8. At the end of the hall and all the programmers names
9. Do a 180 turn and type excelkfa. Walk thuorgh the wall and see the pictures.
Sorry i'm just really curious about this.... :/ I'm probably a dumbass for this and have no life for asking, but still! I'm bored...
1. Open Excel 95 with a blank work sheet
2. Go down to the 95th row
3. Select the whole row
4. Tab over to coloum B
5. Goto Help/About
6. Hold down ctrl-alt-shift and click on the tech support button
7. A window appears call "Hall of Tortured souls"
8. At the end of the hall and all the programmers names
9. Do a 180 turn and type excelkfa. Walk thuorgh the wall and see the pictures.
Sorry i'm just really curious about this.... :/ I'm probably a dumbass for this and have no life for asking, but still! I'm bored...