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21 Funny Status Messages

Article by simpleplan posted over a year ago
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There are many words i could use to describe how I feel about you right now. None of them are nice

To know me is to love me, to hurt me is to dig your own grave.

I want a tazer =)

Has gone to play in traffic.

Is breathing oxygen

I don't have anger issues...You have acceptance issues.

You can email your complaints to gofuckyourself@idontgiveashit.com

Is wondering if people are two-faced, does that mean you get to slap them twice?

Has new boxing gloves and a nasty temper, fancy your chances???

I like it when people give me a reason to nurture my dark side

SMOKING SAVES LIVES ... It stops me strangling the kids on a daily basis

Ever feel like stapling someones ear to their desk and slam a sticky note on their head that says "Help me, my ear is stuck to the table"?

Lead me not into temptation... I have a damn good idea where to find it all ready!

If you're looking for the perfect woman, you have two options. Mother Teresa, or Barbie... One of them is dead, sorry to hear you play with dolls.

Live like you were dying tomorrow, because if you keep annoying me, you might

Just a little case of mood poisoning... Must be something I hate.

When all else fails, grab a shovel and bury the bitch

Be the kind of women who gets up in the morning, puts her feet on the floor and makes the devil scream "OH NO!! THE BITCH IS AWAKE!!"

I DID NOT TRIP! The floor just looked like it REALLY needed a hug

Has a firm grip on reality *~* and is slowly CHOKING THE CRAP OUT OF IT!

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband

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3 comments

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laugh
Haha! Love it!
posted over a year ago.
 
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"Has gone to play in traffic."

ROTFLMFAO!
posted over a year ago.
 
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wink
is breathing oxygen... :))
posted over a year ago.