Attention all useless Fanpop sluts. Congratulations. If you're reading this, it means you've overcome the limitations of your tiny manatee brains and opened this post. Now, if you're asking yourself... "DERRR, wait, I'm confused. Is hatelarxene talking to ME? Am I a useless Fanpop slut?", simply ask yourself the following question aloud... "IS MY NAME FanpopUser1, FanpopUser2, FanpopUser3 or FanpopUser4?" Because if the answer to that is YES, then FELICITATIONS, THIS MISSIVE IS FOR YOU.
So, do you all remember when we agreed to meet at the campus pool and kill Donald Trump, and I got you all awesome new phones, so that when it came time to meet, the phone would light up a certain color, and when it did, you didn't even have to answer it, you just had to come meet at the aforementioned pool?
And then do you remember NOT coming to the pool, despite me making it super easy for you by concocting a plan so simple that an orangutan could have figured it out? Like, literally, a circus ape of moderate intelligence could have looked down at the phone sticking out of the single pocket in the front of his comical lederhosen and seen it light up and used his...