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Review by deathding posted 12 days ago
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(This is a new series where I negatively review classic stories. And yes, I do like this story and I will like all the others I will do in the future, but I just thought this was a fun idea so... There you go.)

So I'm pretty sure by now we all know this story. It's a timeless tale of adventure, and has a very important moral at the end. This story focuses on 3 pigs building houses to protect themselves from a wolf and taught kids that time and effort equals success. :)

BUT SINCE I'M A NITPICKING DOUCHE-BAG WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE SHIT, I'm going to criticize this story as much as I can, pointing out every single last problem with it.

It's time to take a good old gander at "The Three Little Pigs"

"Once upon a time when pigs spoke rhyme
And monkeys chewed tobacco,
And hens took snuff to make them tough,
And ducks went quack, quack, quack, O!"

.............

Dafaq? And yes, this IS the original too. So I guess this story is another.............
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List by deathding posted 13 days ago
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1. I'm shamelessly ripping off a popular YouTube channel. GREAT START! ;D
2. I waste my life doing crap that nobody reads.
3. What the hell kind of teenager owns a napalm flamethrower? Hell, what else do I have, the Tsar Bomb?
4. I have a strange fetish with capitalizing everything in article titles here on Fanpop. GRAMMAR NAZI!
5. I spam the word Chronological like hell in real life. How many times? Around over 9,000.
6. Resorting to using a popular meme? GREAT SCOTT!
7. I don't know why, but sometimes I just try to act cool, when I'm not at all. Maybe I should just stop playing Mortal Kombat and watching Total Drama for a little while.
8. When I'm crazy, I'm downright psychotic. Ren and Stimpy on vodka psychotic.
9. I can NEVER write a lowercase q. Seriously?
10. Almost every bad fanfiction I've reviewed is just bad porn. PERVERT!
11. I use hand sanitizer as much as the next guy BLINKS.
12. Speaking of blinking, I have a strange fetish for the Pac-Man character Blinky. I don't know, he's just cool to look at for me. Call me a demented moron, but I really can't explain this one.
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Opinion by deathding posted 16 days ago
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There's a reason why Shovel Knight is widely regarded as the best game of 2014, and here's why.

But first, since I'm more of a buzzkill than the bees in Donkey Kong Country, a little backstory.

Shovel Knight started out as a project on the popular website Kickstarter, which kickstarts new ideas and is commonly used to make and invent new things. Then came....

*Insert cliche as hell hallelujah music*

This game, Shovel Knight.

Now since this isn't a review, I'm just going to give what I think of it, that way this doesn't turn into one of those god-forsaken 1,000 word essays you had to do in a week when you were in elementary school.

Shovel Knight in a nutshell is an NES based platformer that is easily one of the best I've ever seen.

The gameplay is as sharp as a blacksmithed needle, the music is as catchy that goddamn catchphrase YOLO, and the graphics look as beautiful as my girlfriend Cynthia, because even though the game's only 8-bit, it still looks absolutely wonderful.
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