Here are some random quotes and I felt like posting them some are by people i've never met others are by me and my friends add more in the comments if you want to :p
If you dont find it in the index, look very carfully through the entire catalogue.
Do not remove a fly from a friend's forhead with a hatchet.
- Chinese Proverb
Even if the voices are not real, they have some good ideas.
Specify that your drive-thru order is to go, it confuses people.
The only reason Santa is so jolly is because
he knows where all the bad girls live.
The best thing about Alzheimer’s is:
You can hide your own Easter eggs
I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.
I got stopped by a cop the other day.
He said, "Why'd you run that stop sign?"
I said, "Because I don't believe everything I read."
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals;
I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.
- Peter De Vries
On cable TV they have a weather channel - 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window.
- Dan Spencer
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
- Sam Levenson
I might add more i might not...