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This Random wallpaper contains park bench.

posted by ilovepenguins
I didn't write this!


Sell used bus tickets. Claim they are for half the price.

Get on the bus, grinning widely. As soon as the bus begins to move, burst into song. When you arrive at the next stop, stop singing. Step off the bus backwards, still grinning widely.

If you are seated between two passengers, yawn loudly, strech, and put your arms around them.

Greet passengers with a big hug, handshake, smile and say ³Hi, call me Norman²

Put a leash on a friend and walk him/her onto the bus. Insist he/she is a dog and should go for half fare.

When arriving at your stop, do not push the button to...
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1. You can do whatever you damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. You can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. You can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. You don't having to think about birth control, calendars or ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. You can go out and flirt as much as your heart desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet seat issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...
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-The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

-Our eyes never grow, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

-A sneeze can exceed the speed of 100 mph.

-The most common blood type in the world is type O.

-The rarest blood type in the world is type A-H, less than 12 people have it.

-Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.

-You consume 1/10 of a calorie every time you lick a stamp.

-It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery provides you with.

-Many people think eating fish makes you more intelligent.(sorry - it doesn't)

-Some lions mate 50 times a day.

-No...
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I found this one on the internet:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he was a maverick chicken, and he wanted to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken had to cross the road because he was not able to find a bridge. Alaskans do not build bridges to nowhere. If he wanted a bridge, he'd have to build it himself.

JOE BIDEN: The chicken crossed the road because...
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added by PPGZMomoko
Source: Google
added by fanfly
Source: wallpaperswide.com
1.skip randomly
2.pretend you have a random obsession of llamas and tell everybody about it and talk only about llamas for the next few days and buy all sorts of llama related stuff then one day dont say anything about llamas and when ppl ask why say "when was i obsessed with llamas?theyre ugly!but i loooovee hippos!"repeat the process several more times
3.after anybody says something say "thats what she said"
4.in a movie theater put your feet up on the chair in front of you so no one sits there
5.in a movie theater if someone sits down say "that seats reserved" even if it isnt
6.laugh during sad...
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posted by Feathershine
1. Flick pencil erasers at the teacher then deny it
2. Say "I'm annoying u! I'm annoying u! I'm annoying u!.." keep doing it and see the teachers reaction
3. Pass notes in class, and when they tell u to stop say "we were sharing notes"
4. During Suisse/tests when everything is quiet say "Why is it so quiet in here?"
5. During tests when your done, turn in your chair if someone else is done, start whispering across the room to them
6. When your in the hallways push people and yell "PUSH AND SHOVE!!"
7. During tests/quizes turn to someone who's finished and mimic them
8. Steal peoples supplies then...
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posted by zanesaaomgfan
1. Ask him why did he marry a woman like your mom

2. Tell him you met a guy in school

3. Sing a song he hates

4(reply to number 3) When he plays a song he likes, ask: "What awful music. How do you listen to that crap?"

5. When he is driving you(anywhere), constantly ask "where are we going?"

6. Call him by his name[Not so risky, always done it as a kid!]

7. When he lectures you, after he finishes it, ask him: "Ever heard of breath mint?"

8. Tell him that Justin Bieber is your favorite guy[If you hate Bieber, go with Cody Simpson or some who you like ALLOT!]

9. Come home saying you found your true...
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added by adultswimperson
Source: Google
added by bvbmary15
added by Sprinter23
GET READY TO GET ANNOYED...ALL METHODS FOOL PROOFED BY YOURS TRULY!! :)
ANNOYING THINGS 2 DO UR FRNDS!
1. Keep poking them until they scream in annoyance
2. Pull an Annoying Orange on them. Keep saying, "Hey,(insert name) (insert name)," as long as you want. Really effective!
3. Keep shouting swear words randomly. Like shout out, "Shit!" when they're eating pizza or something. :)
4. Sneeze, HARD, whenever they're around. Continue again and again and again and again and again!
5. Keep repeating, "What? What? What?" whenever they ask a question.
6. Keep calling them ELEGANT names, like if you're friend...
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added by DecodingRomance
Source: Tumblr.
posted by CatAlicerox14
1. find cereal boxes with prizes in them and open the box and stuff the toys in your pockets and hand bag or what ever you can stuff.if caught simply say "these have been recalled as kids are prone to sneezing"
2. Follow the stock person in the vegtables and fruit aisles and ask every minute "watcha doing?"
3. Ask the stock person as he put one item in "is that ripe? or rotten?"
4.if they have a toy aisle open toys (no matter what age you are) and play with them (if squirt gun go to bathroom and fill it up with water and squirt people)
5.go inside the bathroom and sing everytime someone comes in....
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added by KitKatLex
Source: Facebook
posted by i_luv_angst
65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Wisconsin plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Wisconsin sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Wisconsin drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Wisconsin throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Wisconsin have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero
People in Miami all die.
Wisconsinites close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico...
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I've been saying I was going to do this for a while but now I'm finally going to. Just like with my heroines article sometime after this I'm going to make an article of the 10 WORST animated heroes. I have a very unique list with some underrated characters, especially at the top of my list. Please leave a comment about what you think, enjoy.

20.Pinocchio(Pinocchio)
I'm... I'm real...
I'm... I'm real...

Just like my heroines article I started out my article with an underrated character, however unlike before this is actually a very well-known character. Everyone knows who Pinocchio is, parents have made jokes...
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added by DementedKitty
Source: memebase
When you're happy and you know it bomb Iraq
If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq.

If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think Saddam's gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
(And he tried to kill your dad),
Bomb Iraq.

If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think someone's dismissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb...
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