There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere ?
‘Hold my purse.’
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!
I’m very brave generally, he went on in a low voice: “Only today I happen to have a headache.”
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.
We are all born mad. Some remain so.
Whenever I’m caught between two evils, I take the one I’ve never tried.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance ?
I did not write this
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere ?
‘Hold my purse.’
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!
I’m very brave generally, he went on in a low voice: “Only today I happen to have a headache.”
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.
We are all born mad. Some remain so.
Whenever I’m caught between two evils, I take the one I’ve never tried.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance ?
I did not write this
WARNING: MAY NEED TISSUES FOR THESE:
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl:Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy:No, this is fun.
Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy:Then tell me you love me.
Girl:I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died.
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl:Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy:No, this is fun.
Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy:Then tell me you love me.
Girl:I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died.