My fellow Hamtards, I think I've gone bonkers.
One night, two weeks ago I had a dream that is stuck in my memory like a tattoo and it goes like this:
I had just walked in the door to my house and I went into my room to get changed out of my uniform and when I come out, Jeremy Clarkson is in my dining room and on the phone to someone. By now I'm confused and I go down to ask what's going on here, but then my dog barks at some cars parked outside. There's a knock at the door and when I open it, James May walks through and starts talking to Clarkson, then Richard Hammond...
Richard Hammond, you are a bloody heart breaker. I have a crush on you, bigger, it seems, than anybody else's. Top Gear, Blast Lab (despite it being rather boring), anything, if you're on it, I'll watch it. The way you have such enthusiasm for everything, the way you explode into a fit of physics, the way your caravans explode into a fit of burning plastic, it makes me smile. If you came up to me, the first thing I'd do is run your wife down with your Harley (best dream EVER), hold you close, and kiss you within an inch of your life. Then I'd treat you to a rubbish and soppy film at the Odeon,...
Hi Richard. I love you. You are really sexy, and you are my favourite person on Top Gear. I absolutely loved the Africa Top Gear. i always watch with my Grandpa. I would really love to meet you, or have your email address. I hope you see this and reply. I can give you my email address if you like. If I got a message from you, I would be really happy. Lots of love. Ash. xoxo
Posted over a year ago