(WARNING: Cussing is in this article, so be cautious of that. If swearing turns you off, then please leave now.)
You know what? If the Sonic series does ONE thing I really loathe, it's getting rid of things I liked from it. I mean, seriously, what kind of a game series gets rid of some things that make it good!? But I digress.
And although there's those things we're glad never came back....
That doesn't change my opinion one bit. But hey, in the words of Steven Wright, You can't have everything! Where would you put it?
Seriously though, the Sonic series tends to tick a hell of a lot of people off by getting rid of elements of the franchise that we really liked, and it makes me want to scream out-
SEGA, YOU'RE DESPICABLE! (Daffy Duck for the fucking win.)
And that's what brought me to making this list. So, without further ado, get your popcorn, soda, and whatever the hell else you have with you, because WE'RE COUNTING DOWN.....
The Top 5 Things I Want Back In The Sonic Series!
#5. Mighty The Armadillo.
Quoting my Crushing The Classics article, WHY TAKE THE TIME TO MAKE AN ORIGINAL DETAILED CHARACTER AND DO NOTHING WITH THEM!?
Yes, at #5 we have everyone's favorite armadillo, Mighty.
Seriously though, (Get ready to hear that a lot.) Why did Mighty vanish into obscurity? Dare I say it, he was one of the better members of the Chaotix!
And I swear the SPLIT SUPERSONIC SECOND the Chaotix game was released, Mighty completely disappeared. Fast. Like a bowling ball off of a skyscraper fast.
He was cool, strong, had a great personality, and had so much potential! So why'd they get rid of him? The only logical answer to this situation is......
ALIENS TEMPTED SEGA TO GET RID OF MIGHTY OR THEY WILL BURN SEGA WITH THEIR TESLA CANNON OF DOOM AND-
I have no idea why. It's a mystery that'll probably never be solved.
#4. The Super Emeralds And The Master Emerald.
Let's take a trip down memory lane. In the third Sonic game, Knuckles' duty was to protect this massive power source known as the Master Emerald. Also in that game were the super emeralds, which could be obtained by beating even FUCKING HARDER SPECIAL STAGES.
Sorry, I got terrible flashbacks of the genesis special stages...
But basic idea, WHY'D THEY GO? IT WAS SO EPIC HAVING SUPER EMERALDS AND THE MASTER EMERALD, BUT THEY WERE JUST THROWN IN THE TRASH NEVER TO BE HEARD FROM AGAIN!
Maybe it's because they wanted the normal Chaos Emeralds to seem more epic, but still! You just gotta love those massive gems for being so powerful!
Also, this entry is a foreshadowing to the number one spot on this list. Just saying.
ALMOTHERFUCKINRIGHTYO, so in Sonic Battle for the GBA there was a legendary robot that if tampered with carelessly, could destroy the entire world. This ancient being is one of the most devastating weapons ever created, and should never be messed with at a-
WHY DOES IT HAVE TO LOOK SO FUCKING CUTE!?
Yep. That's Emerl for you. But hey, you know what they say, never judge a book by it's cover! :D
OR THEY WILL HUNT YOU DOWN......
This robot also happens to be one of my favorite characters in the entire series, it's just so cool!
It also has the ability to copy it's opponent and do anything the foe did, no matter WHAT THE FUCK it is.
ITZ LIKEEE MEGERMAN! ^____^
For more info on Emerl, play the game Sonic Battle! Buy your copy today for only $100,952,634,772,908,402 Dollars! :D
You can use your lunch money, I don't know. :P
#2. The Spring Yard Zone.
Seriously, this zone has got to make a comeback.
Spring Yard Zone: Why don't YOU get a LIFE!? >:D
Me: NOT THAT KIND OF COMEBACK! >.<
Seriously though, (What'd I tell ya. -___-) I really like the Spring Yard Zone. It's probably the most unique stage in the series, at least in my opinion.
It had epic music, a ton of bouncy springs, an avant-garde level design, great structure, and LOTS AND LOTS OF POINTS! ^___^
Because points are awesome, right?
Of course, you're right. I mean, what kind of 14 year old nerd would love points these days....
Also, as stupid as the boss was, you have to admit it, THE BOSS WAS EPIC AS SHIT.
Seriously, out of almost EVERY single boss in the entire Sonic series, we've never had a boss that you HAD to beat in a time limit, at least out of the normal fights. And I don't mean an actual time limit with a counter, I'm talking if you had to beat the boss in a certain amount of time.
This boss literally RIPS OFF the platforms you stand on, and you're dead if you take too long.
That. Is. EPIC.
In conclusion, I love the Spring Yard Zone. From it's colorful and pinball-like graphics to it's awesome theme, you just have to love it. I really do hope this stage gets remade someday. In the meantime....
Me: *Refreshing the Sega page every 2 seconds* COME ON! >.<
#1. Hyper Sonic.
YOU SAW THIS ONE COMING, DIDN'T YOU!? Yes, at number 1, we have the MOST EPIC GODDAMN FORM IN ANY GAME SERIES TO DATE.
SUPER SAIYEN 4? WHAT HENTAI WAS THAT!? >:D
SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK IS NOT TO LOVE! HE GETS A RAINBOW COLOR PALLETE SWAP, YOU HAVE ACCESS TO ALL THE ELEMENTAL SHIELDS, YOU'RE FUCKING INVINCIBLE, AND YOU GO SO GODDAMN FAST YOU CAN SEE THE HOLOGRAMS OF SONIC BEHIND HIM!
I'M SORRY FOR FANBOYING HERE, BUT WHY DID SEGA HAVE TO ONLY PUT THIS AWESOME NEW FORM IN ONLY ONE GAME!?
That's like putting the fire flower in only one Mario game, it's retarded. -___-
I can't stress this enough, Hyper Sonic shouldn't just "Should" return, IT FUCKING HAS TO.
And I have to say, after all these Sonic games, Super Sonic just doesn't cut it anymore. I mean hell, he's been in over 10 Sonic games already, why NOT put Hyper Sonic back in?
Wait.... I have an idea! SOMETHING EVEN BETTER THAN PUTTING IN HYPER SONIC!
WHY NOT ZOIDBERG? :D
Comments: *Stabs me in the heart*
(Hey there! I hope you enjoyed the first installment in the Super Sonic Mega Marathon Month! Come back every week for more! For more info on this special event, check out my last article in this club. Thanks for reading, and until next time! :D)
(FUN FACT: The word I said earlier is pronounced "All/Mother/Fuckin/Righty/O" For the people who were wondering. Not that anyone really was wondering... XD)