As the four boys woke up they noticed something strange.Stan noticed Shelly wasnt there to call him a turd,Ike wasnt trying to wake up Kyle again,Cartmans mom wasnt there to make breakfast,and like Kenny gave a crap about anything his life was all ready screwed up!"MOM!""WHERE ARE MY WAFFELS AND CHEESY POOFS?!"Cartman found a note on the fridge."We have your mom held somewhere along with your cat""Oh Noooo!" Cartman read more."p.s. we took all your cheesy poofs!" " THOSE SON OF A BITCHES!!!" "THEY CANT BARGE IN HERE AND TAKE ALL OF MY CHEESY POOFS LIKE THAT!!!"I know!" "I bet it was Kyle who took all my cheesy poofs! Oh yeah and my mom and kitty!" As Cartman opened the door Stan,Kyle and Kenny were standing at the door. "Dude, have you seen our parents,Ike,and Shelly?"No Stan,Infact my mom and kitty were tooken away,and I believe it was Kyle who was put up to this!" "Shut your mouth fat ass!" "HEY! DONT CALL ME A FAT ASS YOU FREAKING JEW!!!"(Kenny mumbles)"Like I give a damn about where my parents went!" So as the boys went on to search for there missing people all there classmates stood before them."Hey fellas where are our parents?""We dont know Butters." "Now leave us alone we are trying to look for our parents!" "But Stan,we all want our parents back too!!" "GOD DAMMIT BUTTERS WE DONT GIVE A CRAP ABOUT YOUR PARENTS" "Well Kyle dont you think your being a bit to harsh on them?" "SHUT IT CARTMAN!" "Ok guys lets just let them come too maybe they will be a help." "Who gives a crap!" (Kenny mumbled) Kenny walks into the street. "WATCH OUT KENNY!!!!!" BEEP BEEP!! (Kenny got ran over by a semi. "OMG THEY KILLED KENNY!" "YOU BASTARDS!" Everyone kept looking for there parents. "Dude,I just think there arent any adults in South Park." "Oh Stan,theres always some wrong isnt there?" "What are you talking about Cartman?" "Oh nothing.Except when there is always a problem it seems your the one to cause them." "SHUT YOUR FAT MOUTH CARTMAN!!" "SHUT UP KYLE! I WASNT TALKING TO YOU! GOD IT SEEMS LIKE YOU ARE ALWAYS TALKING FOR STAN! "Really Cartmans right Kyle, maybe you do talk for me a bit to much." "WHAT?!" "Well I just want to look up for my best friend!" "Yeah sure what ever your jew blood wants you to say." "Look fellas, I really do enjoy watching you guys fighting all the time but could we please go back to finding our parents?" "Screw that for right now Butters." "Yeah Butters, if you want to find your parents then go somewhere else besides here!" "Come on Butters lets j-j-j-just go!" "Well,ok Jimmy." " Oh hamburgers! I know this will get real bad real fast!"
The next morning
"Ok Stan I have asked you here for one and one reason only!" "What is it Kyle?""I called you here to talk about why we are all still hanging out with Cartman." "Dude,you called me here to talk about that?!" " Dude,its 3 in the morning!" " I know,I know! Its just I wanted to talk about this while Cartman is sleeping." "Ok,ok. Just tell me what ever you were going to say so I can go home!" I believe that we all should get rid of Cartman once and for all!" " We can call those people who get paid to kill people when they wanna die!" "Wait,wait how are we gonna get them to kill him if hes not wanting to die?" "Dude we call them to do it while hes sleeping and tell them that he told us he wanted to die!" "Ok wait right there! Those guys who kill people were adults from South Park." "Well yeah I was aware of that so I got this guy from Denver to do it for free!" "Ok Dude Cartmans ass is going down!" "Totally!" As Stan and Kyle were talking they were unaware of Cartman being next to the window! "So, they want me dead huh? Well what they dont know is Im the one who took there parents and brothers and sisters! And Im also the one who ate all of there cheesy poofs!" "Yes hello is this the Denver people who kill others when they want to die?" "No? Then who am I talking to?" "Who cares.Anyways we have a friend who said they wanted to die.Yes.Yes Im sure this isnt a trick into killing a random person for no reason or for revenge.Uh huh.Where?South Park.Yes we'll be there.When?How about 8? Ok 9's good.Alright thanks!" "Well wat did they say?" "I have no fucking idea the guy spoke chinese!""I just said random things!" We meet at the mall at 9 tonight!" (Stan goes in a random sexual gay trance) "I thought we already had plans for tonight hahahahaha!" "Ewwww gross Stan snap out of it!" (Kyle slaps Stan) "Oh dude thanks what just happened?" " You went in a trance of some sort that made you gay and thought we already had plans for tonight
" "Ewwww thats gross dude!" "And that chinese guy said something like mall 9 tonight." While Stan and Kyle finished there plan Carman had just began his. "This is it Clyde frog!First we go up to Stan and Kyle and tell them that they found there parents in a shed and then I will tie rope to the bottom of the doorway which will trip them and they will land straight into the net I set up just earlier today!And I will keep them there until they starve to death. After that I will take an embarrising photo of them naked and show it to the entire school!" "Im telling you Clyde frog its genious!"
later that night
"Ok Stan this is where he said he would be." "Dude what time is it?" "Its almost time for him to be here." "Oh my god you guys come quick!" "What is it now Cartman?" "They found your parents!In that shed over there!" "No way dude I know excactly what would happen!" "You will just trick us to walk through the doorway causing us to trip and fall into a net,then wait til we starve to death then take pictures of us naked and show it to the entire school!" "Im not that retarded Cartman!" "Will not I would never do that!" "YES YOU WOULD CARTMAN NOW LEAVE US ALONE!" "What Stan is your gay trance going to happen again and you guys are going to make out?" "EWWW GROSS CARTMAN GO AWAY YOU SICK BASTARD!" "Ok then!" "SCREW YOU GUYS IM GOING HOME!" "Ok so know maybe he'll go to bed so chinese guy can get him!" "I dont know about you Kyle,but damn am I tired!"
at Cartmans house
"Ok chinese guy this is the guy you are supposed to kill." "50 dollar." " Dude what did he say?" "50 DOLLAR!!!" "OK FINE HERE 50 DOLLAR!!" "Ok so now I kill him right?" "Yes just do it already!" "OK!" "WAIT!!!" "Dude this doesnt feel right to me." "Yeah were better than this!" "SCREW THIS IM GOING HOME!" "Oh and chinese guy do us a favor and go kill this guy." It was a picture a that annoying fuck Pip! And know Kyle,Stan,and Cartman learned to still not like each other!
The Big Fat End
R.I.P Kenny M.