Sam parked the car in front of their motel. Dean was in no state to drive and even if he was he’d be capable of crashing into a wall. He helped Dean walk to the porch, while he tried to find his key with his free hand.
He could’ve saved himself the trouble, though. The door opened and Jo appeared. She moved aside and let Sam carry Dean inside. He brought him to the couch and put him down. Dean fell down and closed his eyes.
Sam walked towards Jo.
“Is he going to be okay?” Jo asked with a concerned nod at Dean.
“Physically, sure” Sam replied. “Emotionally, I don’t think so. Not without our help”
“I’m really sorry I didn’t make it to the funeral” Jo said. “How was it?”
“Short” Sam responded. He didn’t tell her about the troublemakers. Instead, he told her what Dean had tried to do. “We need to keep an eye on him, Jo. I’m afraid that if he realizes that he can’t bring Cas back, he’ll kill himself”
A couple of hours later, Dean woke up. Jo was staring down at him in such way it reminded him of Cas. “Don’t do that” he said grumpy and he sat up.
“How are you feeling?” Jo asked compassionate.
“Like my head’s going to explode” Dean muttered.
“You know that’s not what I mean” Jo returned. “You tried to make a deal with a demon”
Dean stood and walked away.
“Selling your soul won’t fix it. If anything, it’s only going to make things worse” Jo reasoned while she followed Dean to the kitchen. “I know you want Cas to return, but that doesn’t make it okay”
Dean turned around to face her. His eyes were wet. “Of course it’s not okay! It’s never going to be okay! Cas is dead and he’s never coming back and that’s my fault!”
Jo and Sam looked at each other confused.
“How is this your fault?” Sam asked.
“I should’ve never left him alone with that psycho” Dean sobbed. He sat down and buried his head in his hands.
“Dean, you can’t pin this on Meg” Sam commented carefully.
“I’m not talking about Meg!” Dean exclaimed while he lifted his head. “I’m talking about Zoey Allen. She’s the reason all of this happened. I should’ve made sure he was really dead, when he walked into the lake. I should’ve killed Zoey when we were in that building. She fucking deserved it”
“You love him, don’t you?” Jo said. Dean looked at her and then at Sam, trying to figure out how he’d react if he’d fess up.