There was a time when I was locked away...in a sepulchre in the forest....by now you should all be familiar with the Halloween parties a throw every year...the masquerades I host with the small stone building as the entrance 2 to ever changing, always scary themes. That small stone building....was my own grave sight...which I modified to be such an entrance 2 an underground massive ball room. Turn my sorrow in2 something grand...that's why I did it. There was another reason, 2, though....I kept it there as a constant reminder that no matter how human I may feel...or act or look...I'm still no more then a monster....hiding in this human hide and thriving in a flesh I wish I reflected in truth inside of me...
You may be wondering why I was imprisoned...well keep in mind I was born descended from Cleopatra and Ceasar on 1 side and Nefertiti on the other....put that together with my werepire witch statues which somehow got out...and my curse...when I was born was when witches, weres, and vampires actually existed in the eyes of the public (where as now any1 who claimed 2 be 1 would b called a nut and locked away or just ignored) I studied the white arts...
I know you won't let go of me
You're my greatest faceless enemy
Though all you do is hurt me
I guess misery loves company...
And you won't let me leave you lonely....
Though sometimes you speak so soothingly....
I almost don't want you to leave me....
I'll suffer very slowly....
Because you know just what to say to me.....
To keep me here, knowingly.
Because this is just the way it must be.
I have no choice
Because your voice...
It keeps me here...
So I can not fear.
The most difficult thing...
Is the ring ring in my ear...
Telling me to let go
That I don't belong here...
But I feel instantly drawn
To the bloody dawn.
And, though darkly inspired
I have to desired
A life beyond my own.
But you will hold me till death
And I know I will let you
Because I know I am weak inside,
Though tough outside
I've always thought this was nothing but a story...but the older I get, the more I believe. There's an ancient story....that's more then a story for me. A story from my village...passed from our ancestors. Our village was all descendents of Egypt, even though we lived in the middle of no-where here in the US. I know what you're thinking.... “You're way to pale to be descended from Africa!” but there's much more to it then that. I'll let you read the ancient scrolls....which survive in my hidden library....and perhaps Kem and Meshrew would remember the story....though I doubt it, with how long it's been. I'll translate them, sense very few can read hieroglyphs....
There will be a child born with the Blood of the Pharaohs, who holds much power in her grasp. However, the power will come with a price. The child with the name of flowers will be surrounded with all the sins of her family, both recent and long past....After the fall of the last great pharaoh, Egyptian magic will be lost, save one family.....It will travel through the blood of the line of Nefertiti. Through great pain the child will learn and find her powers. because of the pain...
long ago, when i was 3, me and mother went into the store. it's my earliest memory, going into that store. mother said "u can pick one toy. u've been really good this past year. u didn't complain and u didn't cry." i should explain. that past year they didn't have any money 4 any christmas gifts or...any gifts at all. father has spent it all away on stupid shit. mother just got some money and we'd gone 2 the store. i didn't expect her 2 say anything. i didn't cry or complain when i didn't get anything. i didn't think we'd gone 2 the store 4 me....i thought we were just getting stuff....but i slowly walk away, drawn 2 the toys. i walk past all the other bears, drawn 2 one. an Emo Care Bear...something most kids hated. that's y they only made them 4 one day and stopped....trying 2 get rid of the ones they had. most kids feared it.....but i'm not most kids....and i grabbed one without hesitating. i ran 2 mom and she looks at me* "did u look at everything?" i nod, lying. i didn't need 2, i knew this was what i wanted. she smiles and pays 4 it and, as soon as we leave, i open up the box and hug it* "what'll u call her?" mom asks. hmmm....that i didn't think of...
Have you ever wondered what it'd be like to have someone who looks exactly like you around you at all times? Unfortunately, I don't have to wonder. My name's Kem Senef, Black Blood in Egyptian. Some may say having a twin is like having 2 of the same person. I say it's more like taking one person and taring him in half. My twin is Meshrew Hesep, Evening Garden. Sounds angelic compared to my name, doesn't it? You have no idea...Our parents may as well have just been his, it would have saved me a lot of pain in the long run.
I HATE my brother because he was treated like a prince and I was more like prisoner that would always be mocked. This goes back long before we both died and I became a demon, him an angel. No, this hate is much more deeply rooted then a mere everlasting war ageist good and evil. You see, I knew he could have stopped them simply by asking them to. But, no, what does he do instead? He laughs at my pain....so let's go back there...and I'll show you what he did.
i guess u could say tht i once was a good boy. mostly because i was beat into being good. i used 2 give a fuck, now i give a fuck less. i was given the death penalty because they finally caught me...i should explain.
u c, my parents...me and Meshrew's....well, meshrew was the prince and got everything. he was pampered and they told him he was gonna b great and....what didn't help....he was. at everything. being number 2 sucks once in a while, being in constant second place...will put u in a state of rage which most will never know because they're good at sometime. since i was useless compaired 2 my brother...i was tossed aside like a worthless peice of trash. i was also used as a punching bag by our so called parents.
whips and chains were their fav. things 2 use...chain me up and whip me till i bleed...that was their thoughts since i was 4. i was no more then the embarisment hiding under the table. Meshrew would watch...and sometimes laugh. being already in rage and adding pain and hurt....at the age of 14 i had finally had enough. i killed them...both of them. i put them through the same pain i had gone through all those years. every cut, welt, burn,...
i loved u so
but it was time 2 go
u spoke my name
i never came
'cos it was time 2 go
so i showed no pain
even though it hurts again...
is it possible 4 u...
2 c the love i'm hidin'?
is it possible u know....
all the pain i keep...
bottled up inside?
can u even c...
all the love inside of me?
i've tried but i can't leave....because...
u never so much...
as looked at me b4
so how can i believe...
u actually care about me?
but this pain, it just won't end.
you're never truly gone.
i feel u beside me every step i take
trying 2 call me back.
but long ago...
oh, i cried and cried and cried 4 u but
u never seemed 2 care.
oh how i tried and tried and tired 4 u but
u just were never there.
so now i'm through cryin'
red sky when u say goodbye
red sky makes me cry forever
red sky when i feel the pain
red sky makes me see...no...end
red sky when u say goodbye
red sky seems 2 last forever
red sky when u feel no pain
red sky when u said...the...end
i can't help this conection i feel
i thought u felt it 2
i guess i let my heart get the best of me
i guess i was wrong...
when i believed it when u said u felt it 2
u said it'd last forever
but forever's come and gone.
i guess it has an end i didn't know about...
but my pain will last forever because...
i thought u said u loved me...
with every single kiss...
i thought we came closer
a happiness and bliss.
but then u went away
u left me standing in the rain
tear that never dry
everyday i'll cry
maybe u can follow the river back
*ok, this is a song i wrote....i'm no pro at this so i hope it works....
i finally found a place where i belong...
in your arms
a place where it's ok to cry...(Male Verson: a place where i don't have to try)
in your arms
the place i feel at home...
in your arms
it's almost like this is the 1st
love i've ever had....
my last love ended in pain...
a million tears have past by...
these blue eyes have seen so much,
but not 2 b noticed by them...
but with u it seems fine 2 cry...
i don't understand y but...
you're the only one left...
that can heal this heart of mine.
the scars may never go away,
but u seem 2 help ease this pain.
where ever u r...
i know now that's where i wanna b.
please don't leave me
i wnna stay like this forever...
i couldn't care less what they think...
~Life After Death?~
is it possible to live after death?
I guess so...
memories never truly die
but will anyone remember...
such an insignificant speck?
Does anyone care?
even if they say they do...
people don't always...
mean what they say
Adoring, smiling, electric
to the floor
Makes me think of night
with no stars, no moon in sight
in the emptiness of space
Boiling, Jumping, Pounding
restless in the heart
Don't put your life in someone's hands
they're bound to steal it away
no matter how I try, it always remains the same
it cuts like a knife
when you tell me get a life
for I real I will never find love
is it possible for true love
the power's in your hands
you must live your own life
before it's all thrown away
before it's cut away with a knife
everything stays the same
since everything's the same
perhaps there is no love
the hearts have been slashed with the knife
and mine lies in my hands
so no one can take it away
and so I control my life
Since I control my own life
I refuse to be the same
I won't be swept away
I will find love
for your life rest in your hands
so don't be cut by the knife
It's easy to be cut by the knife
so live your life
it's all in your hands
I believe in the power of love
the influence of music
the fact that words can't hurt you
the evil we all poses
the fact that some things won't stop, even if they should;
war, fighting, killing
but the fantasy that love always will come isn't true.
I believe in the strength of hate
I believe in the light at the end
I believe in a life after death
Memories, flowers, smiles
and I believe in the fact that no one can set you free...they can only help
the headstone says
the fresh flowers bloom
the still and silence
lose and loneliness
words on my tongue
"another soldier is gone forever"
fear in the air
screams of lost souls, wings always beating
heat of the flames melting me
the hate and bitter loneliness
I'm in Hell
i am lonely and sad...
i wonder how no one notices or sees the tears
i hear open mouths and...
i see open hands
i want to help them, but can't because
i am lonely and sad.
i pretend not to care but...
i feel the pain, whether you know it or not.
i've touched the flame, and...
i fear i have burned, but...
i cry...whether you care to notice or not.
i am lonely and sad
i understand you don't care about me...
i say i don't care about what you say but...
i dream of the day the line is true.
i try to make you understand and
i hope you will but...until then...
i am lonely and sad
what if I fell in love
I might feel light as a dove
what in I were to die tomorrow?
I could see if anyone would care
what if hate were a swirling abyss?
I would be at the center
we all have one...
if it slips, you're done.
some carry it deep within.
for some, it's just beneath the skin.
we all own one,
let it slip, you're done.
sound like fun?
then just shun...
you'll see the result...
it's always the same.
it will always end...
with a bang!
before the lie seeps in,
truth is soon at it's fin.
the lies bury the truth deep.
and the truth...doesn't always seep...
~When You Left~
the day was long and dreary
you have left me weary
my eyes are often teary
so let me say one last thing...
i take back everything I've said
fear that i fight
in spring the plum, ripe
fall, then it falls from the tree
love does the same thing
like an overly ripe plum fruit...
as much as i forget.
but no mater what i remember...
i never remember to forget you
i know you well enough to know...
you never loved me...
no matter what you said.
i must remember to forget...
summer is gone
you had to go back home.
so, now what do i do?
you left me here all alone...
so now i watch,
so now i wait,
as my heart aches,
as my heart breaks.
will i be able...
or was this all...
i'd like to forget
what i've been through.
and what my life's been like.
i'd like to see a light at the end of the tunnel...
but every time i forget...
the past jumps back in front of me.
found strength inside,
even though i cried.
not overcome with pride,
it'll eat me from inside.
can't say i haven't tried,
can't say i haven't lied.
my life is like crud...
but u wouldn't know it...
just looking into my eyes.
so...why don't you try
to take a look
through my eyes
Faith, Love, Hate, Hope, Lust, Trust, Truth, Lies, Pain, Pride, Guilt, Laugh, Cry, Loneliness, Try, Strength, Hard, Hate, Grief, Longing, Peace, War, Sports, Friends, Family, Ememys, Fun, Brave, Goin' on, Anger, Revenge, Not everybody knows that everybody goes to a better place, Not everybody knows that everybody could be livin' their last day, The hard time's will come and we'll keep movin' on, Some friends become your enemys, Some Friends become your family. Live, Die.
~When Love Comes~
when love comes
i shall watch.
when it leaves,
i shall follow.
and it shall turn back
and it will push me down.
so i'll get up,
and i'll dust off my clothes.
i'll continue to follow...
until it eventually stays with me,
or until the day that i die.
before the darkness creeps in,
then...the light is is fin.
when the light is low,
darkness is undertow.
watch, as it creeps in slow,
like a most feared foe.
kick me when I'm down,
then give me the crown.
it's amazing how many people care...
after you're gone.
~The Day That I Die~
the best day of my life
will be the day i leave this world
never to return
and never come back.
Trust, hope, best friends, caring for each other
hope, for me, is a place uncharted
and extremely over grown.
the world, it has chilled me,
frozen my very soul.
my little hope bird, it is gone
forbidden and forewarned.
all my faith and trust,
it flew away in the storm.
the fire, it can not warm me,
i do not feel the cold,
the sun doesn't shine,
my heart is numb.
and this is why,
my hope bird has died.
because the world has chilled me,
my heart can not ache,
nor can it brake.
the lie of a life
I'm suppose to live,
but, no one can give
so i ask, Why?
why do we need
to belong in a group?
why can't i be me?
so this is why
hope for me is a place uncharted,
and my hope bird is gone.
i hope you understand...
i used to be a dreamer.
but i noticed something...
all the dreamers end up...
with a broken heart.
Brightness, grin, smile
it's something...i haven't felt in a while.
true, truthful, truth
honesty is hard to find, you gotta be a sleuth.
if you can feel it with your heart
if you can see it with your eyes
if you feel it every night
if you settle every fight
if you always see a light
if you can ever find it...
Summer, like, love
like, love, hold hands
love, hold hands, hug
hold hands, hug, kiss
hug, kiss, smile
kiss, smile, over
smile, over, left
over, left, alone
left, alone, sad
alone, sad, cry
sad, cry, heartbreak
take me please!
Look across the glass-flat sea
The calm, blue sea.
Calmness is all you'll find.
And yet the ship,
Oh, the ship!
It looks like it's being crushed!
What's going on?
How can this be?
Well let's take a look beneath the calm blue sea.
The peace is shattered,
Grief, pain, hurt, pain...
How was this hidden,
(so cleverly, i might add)
Beneath the calm glass sea?
No, a better question would be,
How is the boat still there,
Atop the swirling tides?
How has it not yet been bashed ageist the rocky shore?
The currents of hate and pain and grief. the hurt and the loneliness
And the fish,
Oh, the un-trusting fish.
The sad, lonely, un-trusting fish.
Afraid to become attached to anyone or anything.
The pore, sad fish that will do nothing but run away.
How is this all possible,
because when all the light is gone
Darkness shall prevail.
i have learned something,that i wish to unveil.
if you look for the bad in a person
you'll find it quicker...
the u will find the good.
a flicker of light will shine though.
this madness stops here,
this world has filled me with fear.
i almost...shed a tear.
the pain...it's shear.
all because you left me here.
so, here i will stay,
and there i will lay.
every single day
here...i shall stay.
stay here, lie there.
shear fear, from my tears.
i promised myself...
i would stay strong.
but the next time's come and gone.
so I'll let my grief
lye here, on this shelf,
and i will walk away.
I don't understand...
why I hate
why I lie
why I trust
why I try
why I cry
But most of all...
why we fight
why we hate
What I understand most is...
why I stay by myself
why I can no longer feel
why I'm now numb to what happens
why I won't show my pain
why I can't not write
Just Because I lie...
doesn't mean I don't cry
don't think I don't try
still count me as here
Just because I lie...
I still try
I don't even know I do it
The cellar is quite, cool, dry.
The pain inside, the hate and anger, all hidden
From mortal eyes they are forbidden
Locked away in a big gray room
Kept under lock and key
Until this day
The floor shakes
The earth quakes
The bottles fall,
The glass brakes
Broken bottles, empty
Shattered all around me
The hate, pain, and the anger flood the room
And i'm right in the middle
Then the bottles
Oh, the busted, broken bottles
They will refill and be replaced
With more and more...and more
More hate, pain...more anger and rage
Waiting...Waiting for the next big quake.
see the show!
what's it about?
the girl's really happy you say?
but don't you see the tears?
You say she looks fine?
but don't you see the blood?
you say she's great?
but she's been tormented...
you say she's happy...
but she's not gonna be ok.
i see through the act...
for i am she.
The shallow black rose,
Hidden in shadows.
The bloody black rose,
Covered in guilt from the path she chose.
The shy black rose,
For her mind has frooze.
The thorny black rose,
Who pricks anyone to close to her.
I should know the black rose well...
For i am her.
A rose for Love,
A daisy for Passion,
Cherry Blossoms for a new start,
Jonquil for Courage,
Violet for Peace and
Sweet Peas for Innocence.
The flowers teach us things no school lesson can.
Lilys of the Valley for Success,
Larkspur for Friendship,
Aster for the Future,
Marigolds for Hope and
Calendula for Purity.
The colors show us the earth's feelings.
White Carnations for Simplicity,
Chrysanthemum to Stay Happy,
Gladioli to be Individual,
Narcissi for Prosperity,
Hawaiian Ginger for Bliss and
Lavender for Comfort.
Vanilla to Stay Calm,
Morning Glory to Remind Us...
Never to Dwell on the Past,
Day Lily to Move On,
Iris to keep Alive the Ones We've Lost,
Heather for Joy and
Lilac for Staying Strong...
Life's perfect medow.
ALL Disturbed and Breaking Benjamin
3 Doors Down:
It's Not My Time, These Days, She Don't Want The World, Runnig Out of Days, Better Life, Down Poison
Cartoon Heros, Around The World, An Apple A Day, Halloween, Back From Mars, Goodbye To The Circus, Aquarius, Cuba Libre, Bumble Bees, Back To The 80's, Doctor Jones, Lollipop (Candyman) Be A Man, My Oh My, Roses Are Red
The Call, Shape Of My Heart, Get Another Boyfriend, I Promise You, More Then That, Time, It's True, Yes I Will
Black Eyed Peas:
Boom Boom Pow, Rock That Body, Imma Be, I Gotta Feeling, Party All The Time
Everytime We Touch, Truly Madly Deeply, How Do You Do! Kids In America, Can't Stop The Rain
Up Periscope, I Know, It's Only Time, Break Me Down
Lies, Haunted, Taking Over Me, My Immortal, Lose Control, Tourniquet
i hope this idea doesn't back fire. *looks around* better do this while they aren't looking...if u didn't know, i'm Grace. i've desided 2 make a soundtrack 4 them from the start 2 now...
*NSYNC~I Thought She Knew, I'll Be Good For You, That Girl, Something Like You, Somewhere Someday, Falling, You Don't Have To Be Alone, I Drive Myself Crazy
BackStreet Boys~Shape Of My Heart, More Then That
98 Degrees~Invisable Man, Was It Something I Didn't say? I Wanna Love you, If She only Knew, Take my Breath Away, The Love You've Been Lookin' For, I Wanna Love You, Fly With Me
2Pac~What Of A Love Unspoken? The Fear In The Heart Of Man
3 Doors Down~Runaway, By My Side
Avril Lavinge~When You're Gone
Cheetah Girls~I Won't Say i'm in Love
Vanessa Carlton~Ordinary day
Good Charlotte~Wondering, Say Anything
Westlife~My love, Please Stay
Katty Perry~Self Inflicted
my room looks exactly like the 7th chamber in the Edger Allan Poe story Masque of the Red Death. for those of u who haven't read the story i recommend it, but here's the parts that describe it.
"...a tall and narrow Gothic window looked out upon a closed corridor which pursued the windings of the suite. ...The seventh apartment was closely shrouded in black velvet tapestries that hung all over the ceiling and down the walls, falling in heavy folds upon a carpet of the same material and hue. But in this chamber only, the color of the windows failed to correspond with the decorations. The panes here were scarlet, a deep blood color. ...in the corridors that followed the suite, there stood, opposite to each window, a heavy tripod, bearing a brazier of fire that protected its rays through the tinted glass and so glaringly illumined the room. And thus were produced a multitude of gaudy and fantastic appearances. But in the western or black chamber the effect of the fire-light that streamed upon the dark hangings through the blood-tinted panes, was ghastly in the extreme, and produced so wild a look upon the countenances of those who entered, that there were few of the...
ok, so these r, quite simply, the songs that sound like my life. i'm putting the name of the band/singer, then a list of songs underneath it. more may b added l8er, this is just what i thought of in one sitting. this is also not going 2 have and SussieXBlackheart songs cuz this is a soundtrack 4 the past, not the future.
2Pac (or on a 2Pac cd):
wake me when I am free, when your heart turns cold, can u c the pride in the panthers? if there be pain, a river that flows forever, the rose that grew through concrete, in the event of my demise, sometimes i cry, lady liberty needs glasses, family tree, keep ya head up, if i fail
the way i am, lose yourself, like toy soldiers, cleanin' out my closet, soldier, yellow brick road, mosh, we as americans, just don't give a fuck, rock bottom, as the world turns, sing for the moment, no apologies
3 doors down:
citizen/soldier, pages, it's the only one you've got, when it's over, she don't want the world, loser, duck and run, better life, so i need you
~Melissa~Colds, insect bites, rashes, nausea, sore throat
~Nettle~Allergies, kit birth
~Wort~anxiety, burns, coughs
~Acacia~cuts, coughs, sore throat
~Acai berry~weight loss
~Blue Curls~cuts, bruises, sprains, sore throat
~Creat~colds, Diarrhea, digestion, indigestion
~Angelica~kit birth, colds, digestion, indigestion, coughs
~Arnica~aches, bruises, sprains
~Catnip~cures Green cough
~ Mouse Bile~gets rid of Ticks and Bugs
~Cobwebs~ Stops Bleeding, wrap a sprain with it
~ Poppy Seeds~makes you sleepy, makes pain ease and dulls pain
ok, so sinse i don't have all of them up on the list on the rp forum on the Ghost Rider RP spot i figure a list in in order. this list is growing as new animals show up needing help. this is my list as of now. this doesn't include the many fish and bugs i also have. (beings as i have a whole room made into an aquarium and another whole room for bugs i didn't feel like figuring names 4 all of them as well)
Nefrew~means beauty. she's a silver Egyptian mau with a small chain collar that has the Eye of Osiris on it.
Abi~means To Desire. a bronze Egyptian Mau with a small chain that has the Eye of Ra on it.
Nekh~means To Defend. a smokey Egyptian Mau with a small chain that has the Eye of Horus on it.
Nanuk~means bear. White German shepard with dark blue eyes. male
Jazmin~female Husky, ½ wolf, icy blue eyes.
Jade~orange Shiba Inu, female, dark gray eyes
Qannialaaq~ means falling snow, female albino hawk
“u seemed 2 like the guy.” Grace taunts
“did not!” *Sussie says defensivly.
“there once was a girl with red hair, who thought she would never go there. she she woke with a smile after a while and found life may be fair.” Grace teases.
“will u please stop!” Sussie says, just barely able 2 keep herself from hitting her off her shoulder. as Sussie passes through the town she killed the 1st guy in, she realizes that they've already started 2 look into the death
“... ...well does it matter how he died?” a man asks as she passes by. “he was wanted 4 murder, maybe god just struck him dead.”
“he doesn't realize just how off he is....” Sussie sighs after she passes, then she stops 2 hear more about what they think.
“or perhaps the black prince passed through and scythed him.” a different guy mumbles as Blackheart lands on the roof of a house. Sussie could sware if he wasn't a crow, he'd b smirking.
“that's a bit closer 2 the truth...” Sussie mumbles, then rides off, leaving them 2 debate it. “i wonder if that's gonna happen every night...” she mutters 2 herself.
About 700 years after...
Sussie sighs “y did i have 2 make that deal...just because the whole town did?” she questions herself as she sits in the forest. She eventually falls asleep and wakes up later with Ruby (red tailed hawk) perched on her head pecking her. “what r u doing? she mumbles 2 the bird. She flies away to a branch and stares at Sussie 4 a while, then flies off, leaving Sussie 2 follow.
“NO!” Sussie yells as she realizes where they're going. “no...no no no no no! I won't go anywhere NEAR that place!”
“U must. U have 2 face this fear.” Ruby says calmly.
“i won't go anywhere near there!” Sussie yalps, turning around. “I've left that part of my life behind!”
“Have u?” Ruby asks “i believe it still haunts u...and 4 good reasons...” Sussie turns around and stares at the bird.
suddenly a black horse runs up 2 Sussie and stares at her. Sussie stares back, shocked “A-Atrum?” she says questioningly. the horse nods, then flicks her head back 2 the path she came on. suddenly a middle aged man walks along the path.
a long time ago, about 700 or so years, in a town over the mountains from this one, there was a deal made...and a deal broken.
the small town of Kekewey rests in a small river valley. it was a peaceful little town. no crime meant no jail house. something in the air made most anyone happy...but a few people wanted more then the little town could give...a lot more...
then a stranger came to town, making deals and contracts. soon, within' a few years, everyone had a contract with the nameless stranger. some promised money, some fame. still others were selfless, and there contracts were 4 the safe return of family members that had been sent to war or 4 a child to be safely brought into this world.
we are gonna focus on on deal. this was a very special deal made by a red haired girl at the very beginning. all she asked 4 was her older brother to come back safety, but what she got...was a whole lot more. her name...was Sussie.
"Atrum Virga come back!" A small child, about 10, yelps. off in the distance a black horse is running around. soon the horse gallops back 2 the girl and licks her face.