i woke with the sun lieing on my legs, and alone,
i rolled to see jacobs side empty, but what could i expect, this was the morning routine, the way it was was since our marriage five months ago.
he had his werewolf duties along side sam.I dont know why this morning felt different to every other.i had a feeling today was different, like for some reason today is a day i was going to remember and jacob wasnt there to see what it was.
It was early 9.00, and i was shocked to see the sun, out , instead of the gloomy clouds as always.
I had hoped to raise Tanna in Pheonix, in the sun and the heat, and with Renee, oh how she calls for updates, but i couldnt force myself to leave, cause if i did, what prove have i to assure myself that all my memories of HIM were real.
I sighed, as i leaned upright, tired and sore from last nights events. And walked out to dresser which i had to admitt was poorly outdated and low stocked,opposite to someone else i knew.
I pulled on a old blue tank top over my bare chest, and slopped into my favourite pair of old sweats and made my way on the hall to Tanna's room.
And ther she was, silent, totally unaware the time of day. she was peace.
The inner tranquility i longly needed to heal from.
i decided that i should take advantage of the time that was given to me, while she rested , who knows when that might be cut short.
i sat down in the old armchair, that charlie had oh so willingly provided for us, for a our new house, on then coast the la push beach, i relaxed, enjoying the pages of "Romeo and Juliet"
oh how this pages brought back the voice.
The words , were like another fix of him,
im scared that i might be getting addicted, but since when wasnt i?
i closed my eyes, and i tryed to picture my life , if he had stayed.
if i was not who am. my dreaming blocked out all sound, all senses and the occurances around me.
i liked what i saw, . i dont know how long i'd been lying there. but i know i'm sure was embarrassed when jacob come in the door and began nudging at my shoulder, telling me to wake up. i could her Tanna's cry demand.
"Bella what are you doing? Tanna has been screaming her head off, i could hear her from the the trails" he said ih his harsh tone.
she had been screaming? oh no. great mother i am.
i jumped up, and began running down the hall.
she was bright red in the face with tears streaming down her face like a flow of a river.
i slung her over my shoulder and hushed her softly. remembering the lullaby.
i wondered what would make her so hyterical.
i took her out to the living to talk to jacob, but he was no longer there, gone again.
i sat her down on the lounge and she yawned deeply and conintued when she left off before what ever happened.
it was then that i realized that perhaps my feelings about today is special might be the truth, and that this may just be the begining.