The Heroes of Olympus Over the Mountain (fan fic)

Amphitrite posted on Aug 11, 2010 at 09:29PM
Title: Over the Mountain

Rating: T

Type: Adventure/Humor/Romance

Characters: OC

Synopsis: When Kyri Snipe is kidnapped by a bunch of gods and taken to camp she is an out of control loud mouth. She soon learns that she must go on a quest to save someone from eternal slumber and possibly find love along the way.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters other than Kyri, and I am in no way affiliated with Rick Riordan or the Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus. This fic was written for fun, and in ni way represents the Camp Halfblood canon.

A/N: This fic is dedicated to everyone here. Also, I've always put a description of my character in my fan fics, so here goes. Kyri is about 5'2" tall, she is 18 years old with strawberry blonde hair and bright green eyes. She is an OC for a series of fan fic I'm doing. Go. Read. Enjoy.

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over a year ago Amphitrite said…
Chapter One: Uncerimoniously Kidnapped

It's amazing how your day can go from being completely crappy to being undeniably impossible.

I was finishing off my shift at the tanning salon when a stunning woman walked through the door. I'd never seen anyone like her before, she seemed to just glow. Confidence radiated off her like Gamma rays from a nuclear bomb crater. "Hi, my name is Kyri, can I help you?" I asked her.
"Oh, ummm, Kyri is it?"
"Well, I think I just need a 20 minute bed."
"Ok, that's gonna' be 15 bucks, is there anything else you need? Bronzer? Decal?"
"Nope that should do it." She grabbed some of the goggles and headed towards the back. I, on the other hand, looked at the clock. 3 PM, finally! The girl taking over for me came in and I caught her up with everything. I headed out the front door, bag in hand and cigarette in my mouth....yeah I know, I'll get cancer from those things, but what doesn't give you cancer these days? While I unlocked the doors to my Ford Focus, I noticed a big guy staring me down. The bike he was leaning against looked seriously scary, like made from human skin scary! To make matters worse, I thought I was losing my mind because out of nowhere the damned thing changed! It wasn't a bike anymore, it was a car. My eyes got as big as golf balls and the pretty chick that came in on my shift waltzed out of the building and jumped into the passenger seat. The mean looking guy sat down in the driver's side and gave me a crooked grin. I shook my head like I was trying to get rid of a bad idea and slid into my car.

The bypass is killer around 4, I mean everyone and their brother is out! I had my stereo thumping at one of the red lights, and my hand was hanging out the window gripping my cigarette. We were in the middle of some freak cold spell. It was like 43 degrees in the middle of July, so I had my heater turned on full blast. While I was singing along to some song I heard, "Hey Lady!" I looked at the car next to me.
"Are you talking to me?" I yelled back at the short guy driving the P.O.S. gilaupi on my left.
"Yeah, you! Your gas cap's off!" Great! Somone from New York. I thought saracstically."Shit!" I said to myself, and when we started moving I turned into the Burger King parking lot.

I parked in the back and got out. After I screwed the cap back on I went to get back in the car. Before I could get the door opened something growled at me. I turned around to find myself face to face with a bear! It had to be three times the size of the average grizzly! Its fur glittered gold in the sunlight and its saucer-sized crimson eyes looked directly into my green ones. Talk about scared as shit! I started to back up and it slowly followed me. I grabbed for my keys and then,Fheeeew, something flew by my ear. An arrow with silver feathers hit the beast right between the eyes. Damn good shot! The bear crumbled to the ground and then exploded in a cloud of golden dust.

"Got her!" shouted a small girl running up from behind me.
"I guess she found her, too!" I turned to see the demon car and the guy. The pretty girl hopped out and walked over to me.
"Well, seeings as we all found the same one, I think she's it!" she said.
"That's my guess," the guy who told me my gas cap was off joined the group.
"Well then, I think it's time to get her to camp." said the gorgeous one, running her fingers through my hair. "Oh, split ends! Hold on a sec." My hair glowed and when it dimmed it was as healthy as ever!
"Ok," I said, "Who the hell are you people, and why the fuck are you following me?"
"There's no time for questions, Runt, get in the car!" the scary dude commanded.
"I will not, and I am NOT A RUNT!" I complained as I was uncerimoniously stuft in the back of the mighty morphin' vehicle.

After what seemed like forever the car finally stopped moving. About thirty minutes back I had fallen asleep, but the sudden stop woke me....I pretended I was still asleep, hoping I could get back to my dreams. The big guy hauled my lazy, sorry, sleepy ass out of the back and carried me. It took a minute, but he finally dropped me to the ground in front of a house. "Alright, Squirt, I'm not packin' you anymore." I flipped him the finger and looked around. They must have put something in that soda back in Pittsburg, because there were half goat half dude things running around the yard chasing chicks that looked like they were tinged green! "C'mon, Runt." The Big guy said pushing me up the steps and onto a large veranda.I knew I had to be hallucinating because there was a half horse half guy lounging next to a table! What made it a little freakier was that the centaur was playing a game of cards with a large guy in a tiger striped shirt! The guy in the shirt would curse every few seconds or shoot the centaur a dirty look. There was another one of the goat guys sitting behind old tiger shirt munching on what looked like a Mt. Dew can! What the hell! That couldn't have tasted good. The little girl that was with us walked over to the centaur, "Chiron, she's here." The centaur, who I'm guessing was Chiron looked at me. "Green eyes, long hair the color of young strawberries, and shorter than most grown demigods....Yes, I do believe this is her."
"Belive I'm who? And watch the short jokes horse-boy!" I said. To my great surprise I recieved an extremely painful smack to the back of my head. I turned to see the big guy, "Watch what you say, Pipsqueak, we may need you now, but after the deadline I'll be happy to pulverize ya'"
"Ohhhh, look who's bad!" Smack. Damn it that hurt! I rubbed my head and decided it would be best to keep my big mouth shut until, Mr. Scary left. Chiron looked up at me, "Could you please follow me." He stood and walked toward the front door.
"Oh great! I said. "What are you going to do, stuff me in the oven? Am I dinner?" I followed him to the door. As I was passing the big guy in the tiger striipes he grabbed my arm and gave me a stern look, " Little girl! If you make one more snide comment I will make you a permanent fixture in the strawberry fields." Boy, they were really loopy around her, I thought to myself, and as I entered the house I pondered if my marbles were loose or just theirs.

I followed Chiron into the first door off the main hallway. The room was amazing! There was a soft, delicate, white couch and matching love seat. The walls were crisp and white with a deep agean blue greek key border. Alabaster busts in pristine condition were stylishly sprinkled throughout the room, and extravegant arrangements of exotic flowers were placed on the dark cherry tables. The feature that made my heart sing, though, was a pure golden harp sitting in the corner. There was a golden stool beside it with a floral on white patterned upholstry on the seat. I couldn't help it, even though I had no talent whatsoever. I walked to the stool, sat down, and poised my fingers on the strings. "Don't do that." Chiron said, absentmindedly as he retrieved a notebook from a table. Yeah right, I thought, like I'm going to listen to you, I don't even listen to my dad! I started plucking the strings. Talk about chaos! That was the worst noise in the world! There was no harmony, no melody, not even something that sounded remotely like music. It was more like nails being drawn down a blackboard. "No wonder you've never been attacked." Chiron said, "No monster would come within 3500 feet of you for fear of deafness and utter calamity."
"What are you saying, old man? or is it old horse?"
"You need to bite your tongue, disrespecting your elders around here will get you nothing more than a bolt of lightning to your chest."
"Yeah, right. Like a rogue bolt of lightning is actually going to strike me. News flash, weather is sporadic!" Thunder rolled in the distance.
"You think so? You've much to learn, then. Can I please have your name?"
"Why do you want my name?"
"So I can figure out who your immortal parent is."
"Whoa buddy, I know the answer to that! My parents are both accounted for. Dad's at home in Willow Springs, and mom's in the ground at the grave yard."
"No she's not."
"Don't argue with me! I'll pull your horseshoes off! She is in the grave yard, I've been there! Dad has a picture of me at the funeral! She died when I was one!"
"No she didn't. I assure you she is more than alive!"
"You aren't touching my hooves, and your threats mean nothing here. Now, what's your name?"
"Kyrine Alexi Snipe. And don't mess it up it's pronounced Kye-Rin-Nee not Kye-Ri-Nay. I've put people in the hospital over that."
"No you haven't."
"How do you know?"
"I just do." He started thumbing through the pages in the notebook. The pages were worn like the thing had been opened at least thirty times a day for the past 5 years. I would later find out it was six years, but who's counting, really? "Ahhh. Here you are," He announced, "Kyrine, Daughter of.....I should've guessed, you act just like her. Look like her, too."
"Like who?"
"You could be her twin."
"Who's twin?"
"Well, this may be a challenge."
"You look like your mother, you act like her, too."
"No she isn't! Your mother is the Goddess Eris, my niece, and quite the little brat."
"Ok, now I know they snuck something in my drink." I stomped out of the room and back out on the porch, the mean guy, goat-boy, and the man in the tiger shirt were still there, but everyone else had left. "What did you put in my soda?!" I yelled at Captain Fear.
"Well, you must've done something because the horse in there is tellin g my my mom is someone named Eris, when I know my mom's name was Elle!"
"You owe me ten drachma, Dionysus." The big guy looked down at the tiger stripes. "I told ya' she was Eris', no one, not even mine, act like that."
"Act like what? I think I'm acting pretty damn good for being kidnapped and drugged!"
"You weren't drugged, and your acting like a foul mouthed little brat."
"She is definately acting like her mom, Ares." Dionysus said.
"Now, all that's left is being a daddy's girl or a mommy's girl....then we won't be able to tell the difference."
"Alright Ares, Dionysus, I'm walking off this porch and I'm leaving this place." I started down the stairs, but something crawled up my leg. I looked down. Grape vines, with big purple-ish black fruit and tender green leaves coiled around me, stopping all movement.
"What the hell!?"
"You don't ever call us by our names without permission, girl." Dionysus glared at me under a dark scowl and curled lip. "You call me Mr. D. He is Lord Ares, don't ever let me hear it phrased any other way. Now you can leave."
"No she can't." Goatboy finally speaks! "We need her Mr. D. Without her he'll never...."
"Shut up, Grover. We can find another."
"Wait, there's a guy involved? Count me in!"
"Do you even know what you're signing up for?" A girl walked up on the porch. Her hair was stringy and colored like mud and red clay. She was big, I'm talking at least 6 inches taller than me, and I'm 5'2", so you can imagine. I started looking between her and Ares. She must've been his daughter.
"I don't care, so long as I can get these damned vines off my legs and cause some trouble."
"Let me guess, Chold of Her-"
"Eris." Mr. D said, "What are you doing up here Clarisse."
"I'm the welcoming commitee."

"You have no one to welcome, because she'll be leaving soon." Ares sounded quite sure of that. "Take her to the oracle, so she knows what to do." The brutish chick grabbed me by the arm as soon as the vine receided, and dragged me into the house. We went up a set of stairs and turned into a color splashed room with paint dripping from the ceiling.
"Rachel, she's here." The girl called, and then she looked at me, "I don't do this often so I'll try my best to be nice. My name's Clarisse, despite what your dad told you, your mom's a goddess, and there is a very important quest that the gods need you for. The chick we are getting ready to see is Rachel. She's the Oracle of Delphi and she's a little strange. Be nice, because Mr. D down there will turn you into a shrub for a week, I've been there before and it's not fun. If you tell anyone I helped you, I will kill you." She shut up as soon as the other girl walked into the room. I had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing, it was the funniset thing I had seen in a while. This girl had frizzy red hair pulled up in a ponytail. Her jeans were covered in different shades of paint, and her shirt was so baggy that it hung down to her knees. Every piece of visible skin was covered in spots of paint. She had a big purple dot right on her nose and lime green streaks on her forehead. She was a walking canvas for nerd art! "Hi," she said, "oh, no!" She started wigging out. Her eyes rolled back and turned electric green. Her skin went paler than it had been and to top it off she started to talk in a creepy voice.

"the air turns cold, the earth is restless
the hearth coals glow as the theif lies breathless
the emerald eyed shall seek the answer
aided by those of heartly matter
the life of the Wayfinder, saved."

She returned to normal, but I continued to stare at her like she had grown a second head. "What the hell was that? What the hell does that mean?!" I asked.
"It means," Clarisse said, "That you have a quest. You need to leave now, before it's too late."
"Before what's to late?"
"You'll see."

I was about halfway down the hall before Clarisse caught up with me. "Hey, you can't do this alone you know."
"Who says I can't?"
"I do." Chiron was back and in a mechanical wheelchair.
"Well, then, who goes with me?" I gave a bit of attitude.
"You can take three other campers, and I'll send a protector."
"Three people and a what?"
"A protector," Clarisse answered, a satyr."
"What the hell's a satyr?"
"The half man half goats that you saw outside."
"Oh, well, who goes with me?"
"You get to choose that." Chiron said.
"How about you choose for me." More attitude.
"Fine, Clarisse go pack your things and tell Nico and Jason to do the same." Clarisse ran out of the house. Chiron directed me around the place and after a while sent me to go eat.

My table was lonely, not a single person there other than myself. I did what Chiron had told me to do, sacrificing and all that Jazz and ate my meal in disgusted me. There were some mashed potatoes on my plate that were just calling my name, this place needed a good time,anyway. I pushed my spoon into the potatoes and started flinging them. They smacked a pretty girl dressed in pink right in the back of her blonde head. I threw a few more smacking her neighbors in the same way. They jumped around shaking their hands like they were covered in the most vile substance on the planet, and then they turned on me. All at once they marched in my direction and I pointed towards a group of kids sitting at a table with arrow quivers strapped to their backs. The girls stomped over there and the girl I'd hit first grabbed one of them up by the ear. "Psssst." A guy at the table next to mine was trying to get my attention. I looked over at him and he said "Nice one! I bet I could hit more people!" He looked like the kid sitting next to him. They both had mischievious looks and turned up eyebrows. I remembeed Chiron saying his name was Travis and his brother was Connor. "You're on!" I said and we started flinging potatoes all over the pavilion. In no time, people were fighting and slinging food all over the place. There was no order, and that's just the way I liked it. Eventually Travis and Connor came to sit at my table, where we picked prime targets and let our food fly. Unfortunately Connor picked the wrong target. His smooshed peas knocked Mr. D right in the middle of his pudgy forehead. "Oh shit!" We said and ducked, but we were too late.

Mr. D walked through the sea of dschord making everyone go back to their seats. He reached us with minimal effort and pulled Connor up by the back of his shirt collar. " Mr. Stoll! What is this on my head?!"
"'s peas." Connor replied.
"I should let the harpies eat you, but then I'd have to listen to your-....nevermind. For now, you are going to be dinner decoration." Mr. D carried Connor over to the fire and made him sit. The next thing I knew, there was a shrub in the exact spot Connor had been sitting. "The other Mr. Stoll, stay away from the new girl...I don't want anymore trouble tonight. If I see anything, the whole camp will be made into that grape vineyard I've been wanting." He strolled back to his table and after a whispered "See ya' later." Travis went back to join his siblings. I sighed and sat through the rest of dinner and the bon fire. After the food fight Chiron had announced that whatever game it was that everyone liked, Capture the Flag or something, was cancelled for the night. One table at a time everyone drifted back to their cabin.I went over and stared at the Connor bush. I noticed a little girl sitting by the flames, and I waved to her. It was my solemn oath to be nice to little kids, after all one of them might follow in my footsteps one day.

I decided sleep would be a better choice than pissing Mr. D off again, because I supposedly had a long day ahead of me tomorrow. I walked into my cabin: a small cottage with walls covered in a collage of different magazine clippings and a large golden apple tree sitting in the middle. The bunks were strewn in every direction in no order whatsoever. I changed into a camp t-shirt and cotton shorts that somone had left for me and crawled into the bed closest to the glimmering tree. My head hit the pillow and for the first time in ages, I fell asleep instantly.
over a year ago RickJackson98 said…
really good I loved it but who was the person that told her about the oil leak or something in her car
over a year ago Amphitrite said…
big smile
You'll see more of him later, but I really can't tell you who it is right now.
over a year ago HecateA said…
I love it! A daughter of Eris... Brilliant! And the food fight... I adore your fanficitons Amph! And the prophecy is really nice.
I'm guessing pretty-girl is Aphrodite?
last edited over a year ago
over a year ago Amphitrite said…
big smile
Thanks guys, I've been pondering using a daughter of Eris in a fic for a while now...I'm writing a story about Eris anyway so why not? I couldn't help the food fight, I had so many of them in school it wasn't funny....we had a permanent ketchup stain on the cafeteria ceiling!

I had some problems with the prophecy, it took me forever to get it right.

Yep, she was an Aphrodite girl.
over a year ago RoHeHa_6264995 said…
Wow this is awesome! A daughter of Eris... I totally love the food fight!
And btw I love the way she talks... LOL it made my day!
last edited over a year ago
over a year ago Amphitrite said…
She's very bratty and inconsiderate. It's quite a change in pace for me. I have fun writing her. The next chapter will be up soon. I've just got a little more to write.
over a year ago Amphitrite said…
Chapter Two: Atop the tall, tall building

I woke up to someone knocking on the cabin door. I threw on a clean shirt, and hopped to the door while I tryed to put on yesterday's jeans. It was Travis Stoll. "Hey," he said, "I got these from the camp store....figured you might want them." He handed me a pair of jeans, two pairs of shorts, and a couple of shirts. "Look inside." he whispered. I unfolded the clothes to find two cans of Dr. Pepper, two packs of Reeses Pieces, and a pack of gum. "Thanks! Get in here!" He looked around him, he probably couldn't see much, it was still dark, and then dashed into the cabin slamming the door behind him, "If they catch me in here, I'll wind up next to Connor."
"Really? That kind of sucks, I mean, we're grown adults."
"Yeah, but we have to set an example for the little kids."
"Oh,... so if you're grown and all, then why are you still here?"
"Well, just like the rest of the Second War kids and the Prophecy of Seven kids, I'm here to keep the camp safe, and to make sure the younger kids get all of their training in. A couple of the adults of Athena Cabin are teachers so that the year rounders get a good education and it takes some of the pressure off Chiron who was doing it. To be honest, ever since the Oath, there are so many kids that Mr. D and Chiron need help keeping everything running smoothly so we stayed."
"Ok, I sort of get it, but could you tell me what the fuck the second War was, and the prophecy thing, and what's an oath got to do with all of it." We talked for about an hour about the past events and the people at camp. We drank the Dr. Pepper and ate the Reeses Pieces while sitting on my bed. I learned everyone 's name and that I was the first daughter of Eris to come to camp. Travis said he wasn't even sure if I had any brothers or sisters. Thank the Gods, I don't share the Lime light with anyone! The sunlight trickled in through the windows, illuminating the tree. After a few minutes of silence Travis looked at me, "It's time for you to go. Chiron wants you to meet him at the entrance. Please don't fail." he got up and, with a sad look on his face, walked out the door. I packed a quick bag, stuffing the things Travis had brought me in the bottom, and waltzed out the door like I had all the time in the world.

I reached the top of the hill totally winded and completely blind from the sunlight. I collapsed near what looked like a few saplings, my vision must've been horrible, because it was actually Chiron's legs. "Get up, Kyri." He said, "You've got to get into town."
"Which town?"
"Manhatten....I should've said city. They always get it when I say city...."
"OK,...seems like you've been through this a lot."
"More times than you could ever count." He replied, with a sorrowful glint in his eyes like he was remembering something very sad and unpleasant.
"Alright, I'm going over here before you start crying like a foal." Bad joke, I know, but I really couldn't control it. I walked over to where Clarisse was. She was standing near a blonde guy, and a goth kid around my age. The Satyr from yesterday was standing with them. "So, you are the lucky few who get the pleasure of coming with me."
"Shut up, I'm not dealing with it today!" Clarisse grumbled.
"Sorry, I just thought you liked my charm."
"I said can it, Loud Mouth!" I had a nick name! That must mean she likes me!
"Does she act like this all the time, Clarisse?" the blonde one asked.
"I don't want to talk to you either, Jason." So the other one must be that Nico guy the Pony mentioned yesterday. Speak of the devil! Chiron trotted over to us, "Kyri, this is your quest, but the rest of the team have been out before. Listen to them, they know what they are doing. It's dangerous out there, so be careful. Oh, and before I forget, you are going to Olympus first, so be nice, keep your mouth shut, and don't cause any trouble. They are being generous enough to let you visit, so be respectful. Argus will drop you off at the enterance, but after that you are on your own."
"Thanks." I said and marched towards a van with a Delphi Strawberry Co. logo on the side. I recognized the sign, I'd seen a van just like this just about once a week since before I could remember! We all jumped into the vehicle, pushing what little bags we had into the back, and took our seats. I let Clarisse sit up front because our shouffer creeped me out more than a little bit. The trip passed quietly without a word between us, but it seemed like the van was supercharged with tension. Either what we were doing was super important or they were scared I was going to do something really stupid...maybe both.
After another extrememly long car ride we stopped in the heart of the city. I jumped out and looked up. We were in front of the Empire State building! I'd never been here before, but I'd always dreamed of throwing eggs off of the observation deck, maybe Ostritch eggs! I could see it now, some poor helpless bystander knocked unconcious by a giant falling egg and covered in slimy yellow yolk! Oh, man, that would've been fun!

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Clarisse grabbed my collar, "You don't act stupid up there, ok? One wrong word and we're all gone for good, got it?"
"Good, c'mon." She pulled me towards the door. Jason, Nico, and Grover followed us.
"So," I said as we walked into the lobby, "Being a protector, that some kinda' honor?"
"Actually, he's not a protector, he's one of the Elders." Jason informed me.
"Oh, so he's an old guy hanging around with a bunch of kids...that's real healthy!"
"SHUT UP!" Clarisse yelled at me. She was in the middle of a conversation with a behemoth of a security gaurd. He looked like if he stood up he would be taller than if you stacked Clarisse and me on top of eachother! She argued with him for a few more minutes talking about a 600th floor. She must be delerious, because there wasn't a building in the wourld that was 6000 ft. tall, and even if there were it damn sure wasn't the Empire. Finally the guy walked us over to the elevator and shoved us in. Immediately cheesy elevator music started playing and I swear Grover started swaying along. That guy was weirder than the AV geeks I'd went to school with!
The elevator eventually rumbled to a stop and a door opened. Now, I know I said I was hallucinating earlier, but that feeling was nothing compared to this. A whole city streached before my eyes, floating above the clouds. There were gleaming white buildings and in the distance I could see a sparkling waterfall, yeah that's right, there's a waterfall! The whole city was done in a classical style as if I'd just stepped back into an idealized Athens or something.
I followed the others as we walked the winding path towards the acropolis. The streets were neat and tidy, and there were people all over the place. Satyrs were dancing in groves with the same type of women I'd seen at camp, and I could hear music everywhere. As we walked by one especially beautiful palace I heard a bubbling noise from within. It was probably a fountain. The whole place was so fatastical that even I was speachless! Hard to believe, huh?

After walking by countless statues and tons of palaces, we came to the largest building of all. It was made in the same style as the others, but it was much bigger. Golden vines wrapped around the columns and the marble seemed to be shot through with silver. We walked into the oversized temple to find 14 large thrones and dozens of smaller ones. I looked around at the people in them. The people, with the exception of the guy who'd told me my gas cap was off, that had kidnapped me were all occupying some of the larger thrones. Mr. D was in one of the big thrones, too! Where the hell was I and how did Mr. D get here so fast? I'd saw him before I left sitting at his card table on the porch of the Big House playing a game with a fat satyr. Clarisse went to kneel next to Ares, Nico did the same, except he was in front of a guy in a robe. It wasn't just any robe, either, it looked like it was made of inky black water. I could see faces and limbs pressing against the dark fabric as if they were trying to escape, and when I looked at the faces I swear I could hear them scream. I checked that guy off on my list of people to never, ever tell a joke to. I pulled my eyes away from the goth guy just in time to see Jason sit down in front of a guy with icicles hanging from his beard. He looked like Jack Frost or this dead guy I'd seen behind some police tape...I wasn't supposed to be there, but planting evidence is funny. Watching them fumble around trying to figure out why a playing card is floating next to someone who was pushed down some steps into a frozen over lake is hilarious....hey I'm not sadistic! I just like drama! Anyway, as I was saying the guy had an icicle beard, and it seemed like all the cold air in the room was coming from him. He was a giant air conditioner!
"Girl!" said the man sitting in the biggest throne, "Do you not know how to respect your rulers?"
"Uh...yeah, I make sure to put them back in the the pencil holder when I'm done with them." Wrong thing to say, a bolt of lightning shot across the room and narrowly missed me...but I'm pretty sure that he meant to miss. I guess he didn't like jokes. I heard a chuckle, though, but it wasn't his. There was a big guy in a flowery hawaiian shirt sitting on throne inlaid with seashells and a sun umbrella. He was the giggler...maybe I should try my jokes out on him.
"Kyri!" A voice I vaguely recognized called. I turned to find a disheveled looking woman running into the temple. She looked like me, except for the just-rolled-out-of-bed look she was sporting. Could it be? Was it? Mom was long gone. "Kyri, " she continued, "What are you doing here? I thought I told him I didn't want to...." her look softened. "You look just like me, wow! I look good!"
"Uh,...ok Crazy Lady, who the hell are you? And please tell me your name is simple because I don't have the time or the motivation to remember anymore names." Smack. Damn it why did that keep happening? I looked around, and sure enough Ares was standing right behind me. "Be respectful to your Mother, brat. Like I said yesterday, you may be my niece and we may need you now, but I can kill you in a heartbeat." He said.
"Don't talk to her that way!" the woman said.
"She isn't my mom! I've told you guys already, my mom's dead...what letter in Dead don't you understand."
"He told you I was dead?! That's it, I've had it! I'm marching right down there and giving him what he deserves!" The woman started to walk back the way she came but Ares grabbed her by the wrist and said, "No you don't!"
"Eris, Sweety, we aren't going to cause trouble today, are we?" Man Mr. Bolts-of-Lightning softened up real fast! I didn't say it but, well... they can't control my thoughts! "No Father," Eris said, "But he told my baby I was dead."
"Excuse me, Mom!" I said sarcastically, "If you are my mom, then he had every right to say it. You were gone! Ya' know, my dad's the best guy in the world and if you lay one finger on him I'll make sure that I put you through the worst tourture imaginable!"
"Aww!" She replied, "You really are my baby! I always knew you'd be just like me!" She wrapped me in her arms, pretty much smothering me with that rat's nest she called hair. "Oh, great!" I grumbled, "Now I'm going to suffer through more crappy Christmas presents....You better not get me a damned sweater!" Another round of "awws" came from Eris' lips and she hugged me even tighter. I let it go on for a few minutes and then pulled away, "Ok, Crazy Lady, you've had enough. Now, Can somebody please tell me why I'm here, and get me a drink?"
"You're here, " My supposed grandpa said, "Because something has gone terribly wrong and it has been prophesized that you are the only one that can fix it, follow Hera, she'll show you what I mean." The woman sitting next to him rose, and walked towards me, her beautiful hair bouncing behind her. She had a certain air of superiority, but it seemed to melt as she looked at me. How about that, my charm was working already! "Follow me." Her voice was a bit cold, and a tad commanding. I followed her, tongue bit. If I said anything I'm sure I'd have a lightning bolt thrown right at my ass.
She lead me back out of the throne room, and eventually out of the building all together. Eris was following us, as well as another woman. The other woman had the greyest eyes I'd ever seen. They sort of looked like that cake I destroyed the icing on. What? Dad's ex, Sophia, had made it! I didn't like Little Miss Perfect, so I messed the icing up three times just so she'd have to make a new was funny! Anyway, the woman with the grey eyes looked at me like she couldn't stand the sight of me! Oh well, her loss. I'm awesome!
We continued down the long road until we stopped at a large crystal palace. There was light coming from inside making certain spots appear to be amber. There was a large balcony that had a golden railing like the porch. There were purple crocuses and bright red anemones planted in raised flower boxes lining the walk way. The stately walkway was golden and had large rubies, sapphires, diamonds, and emeralds embedded in it. We walked over the jewels and up the stairs to a golden door. Hera twisted the crystal handle and lead us inside. Inside, we found ourselves in a large foyer with two staircases curving on either sides of the room. Doors lined the walls, and in the center on the dark hardwood floor was a large circle. There was a picture of a staff and two snakes inside the circle, and an enormous crystal chandelier with hanging rubies hung above it.
We walked up the stairs, Hera and I on the left staircase, Eris and the other woman on the right. I continued to follow Hera down a hallway. After two rights and a left, we walked into a dim lit room. There were several green girls fluttering around the room with washclothes and other stuff you would expect to see in a sick person's room. There were layers of gossamer curtains hanging at the far end of the room. A soft light glowed behind them. I was curious, so I walked ahead of the others, and before I moved the curtains out of the way I looked back. Hera had put her arm up beside her stopping the grey eyed woman from following and Eris had stopped beside her. She nodded her head bidding me to go in.
I gingerly moved the curtains back far enough to slip through, and dropped them after sliding in. There was a golden bed with an entricately designed headboard. The light was coming from a small lamp on a table, and the light spilled over the bed illuminating a man. Now, I've never been one to go head-head-over-heels, but I'd never seen anyone as handsome as he was. He had a strong but slinder build. His hair laid in perfect dark curls on his pillow. Perfect eyebrows were furrowed as if in pain over perfect eyes. Long, thick, black eye lashes rested on his cheeks. His lips looked soft and rosy, and his skin was kissed with a hint of sun. He looked like he might've been a dream, but what didn't here. I tiptoed over to him, hoping I wouldn't wake him up, and kneeled next to him. I seemed to forget everything and everyone. All I saw was him.
"He's handsome, isn't he?" Eris' voice said behind me. I shooshed her, but she laughed, "You're not going to wake him up, trust me."
"He's been cursed." Hera said pushing through the curtains.
"Cursed?" I asked
"He's not really cursed," The grey eyed woman stepped in behind Hera, "He's mourning."
"As in grieving for a loved one." She said it like I were the dumbest person in the world.
"Athena!" Hera snapped, "Be quiet."
"I know what mourning means, but who the hell is he mourning for?"
"That's a long story, his son died a long time ago, and his son's mother died the day before he ended up in this comatose. If you'll follow me to the parlor I'll tell you what you need to know before you start your quest." Hera said, walking back out of the curtains. The others followed her, and before I left I stole one last glance at the handsome man.

Hera led us into a large room back on the main floor of the mansion. It was done in the same crystal and gold theme as the rest of the place. Lilies and Everlasting flowers were sitting in vases on the numerous dark wood tables. There were two old world dark wood clawfooted couches with fluffy white upholstry facing eachother with a matching coffee table in between them with a crystal dish in the center. I sat down across from Hera, and Athena and Eris sat across from eachother. One of the girls that I'd been seeing all over the place brought us some tea.
"You're not accustomed to all of this, are you?" Hera asked.
"No," I said. Hera poured us all some tea, but Athena and Eris were too busy glaring at eachother to notice. I sipped mine.
" Well, I noticed you've been staring at the help like they are the oddest creatures in the world, I'm not fond of them, but you sould know that they are called nymphs, and they don't like the term 'green chicks'."
"Oh,....ok." I took another sip of tea. I liked Hera, she was nice, and didn't seem to get too mad when I picked on people. "So,...uh, I know your name but who are you?" I asked her.
"You don't remember me? Nanna Hare?" My eyes got bigger than golf balls, and my jaw hit the floor. There's no way she was my Nanna Hare! See, Nanna Hare was my mom's....wait a minute...holy crap! "So your telling me that all this fucked up stuff is real? My mom's not dead, I'm really hanging out in a city above the clouds, and there are seriously little half goat guys running around? It's not a dream?!"
"No you're not dreaming. Do you remember the stories I told you when I came to visit?"
"Uh....there was something about a war, and an apple...then there was that one about the peacock.....uh....something about Pop-pop cheating on you....."
"Correct. Sweetheart, they're all true, and I need your help."
"Is it about that guy up there, Nanna?"
"Yes. His name is Hermes. He's one of Pop-pop's children, and despite the way he was born, he's grown on me. As you can see, he's in a small perdicament. We've looked all over for an answer. We finally found one from the Oracle of Delphi."
"You mean that nerd Rachel?"
"Yes. She told us that she didn't have a prophecy, but she did have a picture of Hermes waking up. We recognized everyone in the picture except the girl kneeling next to him. We found you."
"You didn't recognize me, Nanna?"
"Well, it has been quite a long time since our last visit, and you've gotten much bigger."
"And dad moved us about a dozen times."
"Yes, well, I'm sorry. As I said we found you, and I assume you have recieved a quest?"
"Yeah, what of it?"
"Well, you must be the one to wake Hermes up."
"Ok, Rachel didn't say anything about how to wake him up, so I have no clue what to do."
"You'll have to speak to Hecate. Come, lets find her. She'll probably be with Persephone and Demeter." We finished our tea and left Athena and Eris, who were still glaring at eachother.
When we reached the street outside of the palace we could hear Athena yelling and the distinct sound of shattering crystal. Nanna shook her head and we started off up the road. We passed more opulent palaces and several gardens as we made our way to the edge of the city.

When the buildings thinned, and the grasses got taller, we crossed a bridge over a stream. There were golden fields in front of us, and we were standing on a road running parellel to it. We went left and traveled for about forty-five minutes, when we came to a small cottage. Ivy creeped up the eastern side of the house and peonies the size of my head surrounded several large trees. Manna ashes and flowers of every diffeerent kind lined a small path to the door. We walked to the door and instead of knocking Hera waltzed right in like she owned the place. I followed, of course, and we found ourselves in a kitchen that was bigger than it should have been judging by the outside appearance. Standing at a counter were two women, and another sat at a table. The one at the table had golden blonde hair coiled into a tight braid at the top of her head. She wore a long bright yellow sundress. The two women at the counter were as different as night and day. One had shimmering black hair that hung down the middle of her back. Her eyes looked like a kaleidascope, blooming into a million dazzling and bright colors. Her skin looked like warm honey, and her smile was like sunshine. Her dress was a short white sundress with flowers that seemed to bloom and change all over it. The other woman wore a black corset and tulle skirt with black fishnet leggings and black mary jane shoes. Her hair was smooth, hanging down her shoulders in large red curls. Her smile was more like a smirk and when she looked up her sharp green eyes held mine like a spell.Hera walked over to the table and sat down. "Hello, Sister." she said to the blonde woman.
"Hello, Hera, what brings you here?"
"Well, Kyri needed to talk to Hecate."
"Oh,...did she? Well, dear," the woman turned toward me, " My name is Demeter, that's my daughter, Persephone," she said gesturing towards the dark haired woman, "and that is Hecate."
"Uh,....thanks, I guess." I walked towards the women at the counter. "So, Nanna said I should ask you for a little help." I told Hecate.
"Nanna?" she asked with a hint of sarcasm.
"Yeah, Nanna! Is there something wrong with that?" Unbenounced to me as I said that Hera gave Hecate a look of admonishment over my shoulder.
"No. Now, what can I help you with?"
"Well, I need to know how to wake up Mr. hottie back in town."
"Mr. Who?"
"Oh,.... if you had said annoying little twit, I might've understood you better."
"Excuse me?"
"Oh nothing....well, you are going to have to give him a potion."
"As in a witches potion? Does it look like I have a wart on my nose and a broom under my ass? Next option." Oops....I guess she likes witches...
"WHAT!? I don't have a wart on my nose!" The next thing I knew I was shrinking. My arms grew fur and my ears became pointy and moved to the top of my head. "How do you like being a squirrel?" I tryed to tell her that if I got my body back the way it was supposed to be that I was going to break her neck,but all that came out was a series of high pitched squeaks.
"Hecate, turn her back." Persephone said in a more than cheerful voice...what was she so happy about? Hecate listened to her and I returned to my normal self a few seconds later. Persephone grabbed my hand and pulled me in between her and Hecate. "I've learned more than enough from being around Hec all these years to tell you what you need. It's going to be very difficult, though, are you sure you can do this?"
"How hard can it be? Put in some Eye of Newt and some Dragon's Breath and we're all set, right?"
"Oh, now, those are both nice plants and all, but you need something different. You are going to need nine ingredients."
"Hold on, I'm gonna' need some paper....I've got the memory of a damn goldfish." I reached into my back pocket and pulled out the pen and paper I always kept back there. Unfolding the paper I leaned over the counter ready to write what she said.
"You'll need" she started, "Silver Asphodel, An apple from the gardens of the Hesperides, Water from the Castalian Spring, Manna from the Sacred Ash, A blossom from the sacred cherry tree, a wild Koran orchid bulb, Sweet mountain snow, and a wing feather from the original Pegasus."
"Is that it? That's only eight...I thought there were nine."
"There is, but you have to find the last one yourelf."
"Oh, well thats a lot of help!"
"I'm sorry."
"Kyri, it's time to leave, we are going back to the council." Hera called.
"You can't stay for cereal? It's very healthy and filling, you know!" Demeter pestered us all the way to the door. We walked back to the council and after my team reassembled Nanna sent us to her (and Pop-pop's) palace.

It was dusk now, and I bathed in the waterfall fed spring in the garden, surrounded by peacocks and the sweet noise of chirping crickets. The water was cool and smelled like lavender. Flowers were in bloom everywhere, and small animals could be seen darting between the trees. I had my arms laying on the ground and the rest of my body was floating peacefully. I heard a rustle in the buhes beside me. I looked around and someone tumbled out, "I know where you can find the Silver Asphodel."
over a year ago HecateA said…
I laughed SO HARD!!!!! I love how she's so natural... She doesn't seem to care or realise that the people she hangs with can blast her to ashes...
You're great! I adore you!
over a year ago sonoboreas said…
O wow! This is definitely the best story I have ever gotten to read. It is soooo hilarious and it's well...perfect
over a year ago Amphitrite said…
Wow, thanks guys! I'm glad you like it!
over a year ago RoHeHa_6264995 said…
OMG lol I love this girl!
Can't wait to see next chapter!
over a year ago redhawks said…
I love that girl. She is soooo funny!!!!!!! I can't wait till your next chapter.
over a year ago redhawks said…
When is your next chapter coming up???
over a year ago Amphitrite said…
big smile
The next chapter is done, I just have to revise it and then I'll put it up. It'll be a little later on today, though, I've got eerands to run. Classes start tomorrow.
over a year ago HecateA said…
you made my day Amph!
over a year ago Amphitrite said…
So it Begins

I was still reeling from Nico's announcement when I woke up the next morning. He had rolled into my bath like a peeping tom and yelled at me! What a jerk. Anyway, there was this loud, annoying, patterned banging on my door. It was starting to piss me off, so I jumped out of the bed and wrapped myself up in my blanket. I opened the door to find a hot blonde guy. "Why hello, there!" He said, "They told me you were the beauty with! Yeah hair, that rhymes with there! I'm such a genious!"

"I think you're a doofus."

"What? Why? Didn't you hear that bit of poetry?"

"I heard poetry being murdered, if that's what your asking."

"Why would you say that? I'm an amazing poet!"

"Uh...sure.....whatever you say, Mr., why are you banging down my door?"

"Uh, well" He said wiping his hand off on his tunic and sticking it out for me to shake, "I'm Apollo, God of Poets, and therefore the Greatest Poet Ever!" I stared at his hand like it was diseased....I'm really not a morning person...he retracted his hand and continued, "I'd be honored if the fairest girl in Olympus at the moment would accompany me to breakfast....wait...don't let Aph here the part about the fairest in Olympus....she'd kill me....and then you....crap."

"Food you say?"


"That's the magic word! Let me get my clothes on. It might take a minute I've got to set a trap."

"What kind of trap."

"The kind of trap that stops demigod teenagers from the Underworld from stealing my kool-aid."

"You've got Kool-aid in there?"

"Yep. Three Flavors....and I don't like people stealing my kool-aid, so keep your hands off!"

"Ooooooookay." He said it like I was crazy. I probably was....oh well, no helping the crazy gene, it seemed to run in the family. I closed the door in his face and ran to my wardrobe. I pulled out some clothes that Nanna had got me: A pair of shreaded jeans, and when I say shreaded I mean it...there were holes and gashes all over them. A brown leather top, which was actually a leather breastplate...nothing goes better with ripped jeans than armor, and a pair of orange combat boots. Oh, I forgot the socks! Purple, orange, and green striped toe I Iove my toe socks. How can people wear the regular socks! Your toes are individuals, people!

I met the golden god back out in the hallway, fully dressed, and he lead me through several corridors until we reached the street. We strolled down the dark must have been five in the morning. We finally stopped at a golden palace with a pack of dogs, no wait, not dogs, wolves, on the steps. "Welcome to my humble abode!" Apollo announced as he held the door open for me. I pushed him as I walked by, "Don't pull that gentleman bullshit with me, you're not getting my Kool-aid!" He laughed and pulled the door shut behind us. We walked through a large hall with arched ceilings. There were instruments everywhere, and lots of framed poetry hanging on the walls. We passed glassed doored rooms filled with piles of papers and giant books....great he's a nerd! Finally he pushed open a gigantic sliding glass door. I walked through it to find myself on a large deck. It was made of italian marble with shots of gold, and it was covered by a octagonal shaped roof made of some sort of light colored wood. The sides were open to the elements, and in the distance I could see cows grazing. The lawn was comprised of beautiful bluegrass manicured to perfection and flower beds filled with larkspur and daffodils. Gorgeous laurel trees completed the scenery. "Hey!" Apollo called, bringing my eyes back to him. He was pulling a chair out at a small golden table. I sat down and before I knew it nymphs were serving me cereal, stuft french toast, eggs, and bacon. A glass of sweet iced tea was placed next to my plate. Neither of us said a word. We just ate our breakfast as the sun came up.

After I'd devoured my food and drained my cup, a nymph brought me a cup of coffee. It was just the way I liked it: two scoops of sugar, a scoop of cream, and a large dose of milk. I reclined in my seat and turned towards the sky. "They're doing a good job." Apollo said.


"Julian and Augustan."

"Again, who?"

"My kids. I didn't feel like driving this morning, so I let them."


"The sun."

"Man you are fuckin' nuts!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too"

"Am not!"


"Ok, ok, you win." he chuckled, "But only a little nuts."

"Sure..." I said sarcastically. We sat in silence for a few more minutes and then Apollo stood and grabbed my hand. He led me back into the house and through a door on the left. We were in an office...who would've thought this cut up has an office? He walked to the desk at the far end of the room and rummaged around in one of the drawers. He found what he was looking for. He crossed the room, "Hold up your hand."


"Just do it." I obliged him, lifting my hand up, palm facing the ceiling. He placed a golden bag in my hand. It was one of those drawstring bags like the role playing weirdos carried. I stared at it utterly perplexed, and then I pulled it open. Inside was a stash of coins. "What are you paying me for....oh, no buddy! You've got me all wrong! I'm not giving you the Kool-aid!"

"Do you ever stop with the jokes?"


He sighed, "I'm not after your Kool-aid. These are Drachmas, the currency of the gods, immortals, and demigods. It should help you out on your quest. I figured you needed it, your mom's broke."

"Let me guess, gambling?"

"Actually....yeah! See Hephaestus built this casino so we could try our hand at that poker game, and Dionysus and your mom just refuse to leave sometimes."

"Really, where is this casino?"


"Oh, c'mon!"

"I'm not telling you, you've got stuff to do before you gamble my money away."

"It isn't your anymore you gave it to me, Loser."

"I'm so not a loser!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Oh, shut up already!" Clarisse entered the room. "C'mon, Train wreck, we've gotta' leave." I sighed and said good bye to Apollo and followed Clarisse.

We had went back to Nanna's and collected our things, and then we took a chariot pulled by Pegasi, back down to Manhatten. We ended up landing in the middle of a park and as soon as we stepped off the vehicle, the horses took off, taking the chariot back up to Olympus. "What now?" Jason asked.

"Well, if what Nico said was right, we have to get to the Underworld."

"We've gotta' get there fast." Grover said.

"Well, what's fastest?" I asked

Nico answered this time, "I can shadow travel. If I had Mrs. O'leary here, I could get us down there pretty fast."

"Where's Mrs. O'leary?"

"Uh...." Nico called out the name and a dog bounded towards us. I noticed that as it got closer it seemed to grow from the size of a St. Bernard to the size of a school bus. She padded towards me and licked me from my feet to my head. "EWWWWWWWWWW! Damn it, Nico! Control your fucking dog! Do you know how long it'll take to get her slobber out of my hair?!"

"Sorry," he said sheepishily.

"Ok, so now we have a big ass dog to take to the Underworld, too. How's that solve our problem."

"You're so stupid." Clarisse said, and she climbed up on the dogs back with Jason. Grover walked towards Nico and me. Before I knew what was happening Nico grabbed my arm and we were spinning off into nothingness. It felt like my stomach was doing cartwheels, and I knew I was going to throw up. Everything was dark and the air was gone from my lungs. Just before it felt like I'd pass out we fell onto solid ground. We were on one side of a river. "Shit!" Nico said, "Wrong side." I looked across the black water to the other side. Clarisse, Jason, and the dog were standing there waiting for us. "Do you have enough energy to get us over there?" Grover asked.

"No....I hope somebody has some drachmas." Nico said.

"I do....but you can't have them."

"Well, I guess you're going on your own." Nico told me.

"Fine, can have some."

"Follow me." We walked about a mile upstream, until we came to a boat. There was a very snooty looking blonde guy standing there. "Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no." He said, "I'm not taking you anywhere until your dad pays me." Nico shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't care. I've got money. Take me across the river or I'll make your pay check shrink a little more."

"Fine, but you give me the drachmas first." I stepped forward and handed the guy a few of the coins from my bag. "Alright, get on." the man said. Nico helped me onto the big ass boat and we sat down side by side. There were some flittery transparent people behind us, litteraly crammed into the seats. "I'm Charon, I'll be taking you across the Styx today. If you haven't payed you need to exit the boat now. I will not carry you across without payment." The guy, he's an ass!

We sat in silence as we crossed the murky water. When the boat finally touched shore on the other side, I flipped the ferryman off and called him a jerk. Nico pushed me along and told me not to fuck with Charon. Like I'm listening to him! I continued to rudely harrass the dude until Clarisse came by and jerked me by the wrist, pulling me towards a monstrous dog. We passed right under the three headed beast. When it saw Nico, it started jumping around like someone had filled it's doggy bowl with Redbull! That dog was seriously hyper. I dodged it's giant fur covered feet and slobber. Finally I ducked out from under it and waited for the rest of the gang.

It took twenty whole minutes for Nico to get the dog to leave him alone, and a really good chew toy, too! We continued through a gate and into the weirdest place I've ever seen. There were vibrant poplar trees all over the place. The grass was green, but it seemed all washed out, and dull pink and grey flowers were sprinkled like depressing little candies. I knew what the flowers were, they were called Asphdels. I'd seen them in the grave yard that dad had told me "mom" was buried in. Man I was going to chew him out when I got home!

Anyway, there were transparent people dashing all over the place. Some of them were just barely moving. Some of them would stop to talk to one of the others in a birdlike chirpping. It was completely irritating and I didn't undertand a word, but I could tell that they were gossiping...don't ask me how...please, I'm too lazy to explain it. Nico walked ahead of us, with his black sword in front of him. I guess having him here wasn't a complete waste, because the shades avoided him like the plague...sort of like every girl at camp, except that really depressed idiot.

We followed a faded yellow path for what felt like hours, stopping occasionally to get Mrs. O'leary back in check, which, to my delite, annoyed the piss out of Clarisse. At some point this old broad with black leathery wings stopped us. Nico had called her Alecto, and she was asking all sorts of questions. If I could've taken her hand bag and beaten her with it, I would've! She was sooooo boring!!! When she finally let us pass, I took off at a run.

Eventually I found that was too tired to lift my legs. We had stumbled into a dark sparkling cove on the edge of a river. Listening to the mumbling of the water made me feel drowsy. "Watch it, guys." Nico whispered, "This is the cove of Hypnos. He doesn't like visitors. You see that cave?" He pointed to a small opening into which the river flowed. "He's in there, and if he hears us then all Hades will break be really quiet."

"Where are we going." I asked out loud.

"Shut up, dumbass!" Clarisse yelled

"Shut up, Clarisse!" Jason scolded her. We all started arguing completely ignoring Nico and the broken snores coming from the cave. Grover sat down on the ground and the next thing I knew, he had pulled out his pipes and started playing the chorus to "Airplanes." One by one we all shut up and before I knew it, Clarisse, Jason, and I were all collapsed on the ground fast asleep. I woke up to Nico poking me, "Wake up, Sleepy head."

"No....just five more minute, dad! School doesn't start until's only 7:50....just five more minutes."

"What? Wake up Kyri!"

"No, I won't, I won't, I won't!"

"Wake up!"

"No Mr. Birdie, you should get the bald man. He's an easier target."

"KYRI! Wake up!"

"Huh?" I forced my heavy eye lids open and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "Where, the? What the? When the? Oh I give up. I'm going back to sleep." I tryed to lay back down, but NIco pulled me to my feet. "Grover, stay here with them, I'm taking her to the flower."

"Aww," I said, " You got me flowers! How sweet, but I don't date people who play Mytho Magic."

"You are so stupid, sometimes. I'm taking you to the Asphodel you're supposed to get."

"Oh....Oh! OH! Ok, now I'm back on track. Alright where is it?"

"In the cave."

"What? I thought you said the bad guy was in there!?"

"He isn't bad....just....grumpy."

"Great." I sneered, "so I have to tiptoe? You know I'm clumbsy, don't you?"

"Nope." He didn't seem to care either. He led me through the beautiful cove and onto a very small piece of land leading from the bank into the cave. He told me to be careful because the water would erase my memory, so I pretty much clung to him as we entered the cave. The path through the cave was about a foot wide and a tripped around seven times, grabbing Nico and pulling him down with me every time. The snoring was five times worse inside and not even the babbling of the river could mask it! God this guy had one bad case of sleep apneia... I'd hate to be his wife! It took us forty five minutes of dark cave walls and screeching bats to make it to the back. The snoring just got louder and louder, too. We finally arrived in a large bedchamber with big red curtains all over the place. There were crimson bed sheets and even a crimson rug. Whoever this guy was, he liked the color red....maybe he was a bull...

I could now tell that the snoring was coming from a tall guy curled into a fetal position on the big ass bed. Nico motioned for me to be quiet and pointed to a potted plant on the nightstand. I tiptoed my way over to it, trying hard not to fuck up. I reached it without any mistakes. It looked like the flowers I had seen in the field, except that it was more beutiful. It was still pink like the other ones, but where the other ones had been partially grey, this one was partly silver. It's leaves glowed, radiating silver light throughout the room, and it's stem seemed as black as night with a swirling collection of silver star-like dots. It was amazing! Now to get the damned thing down! I gingerly grasped the base of the terracotta pot and lifted it. It weighed close to fifty pounds, and was about half as tall as I was. I had no clue how I was going to do this. I couldn't drag it or push it, that'd wake the Grump up...My only choice was to try and carry it back to Nico and have him help me. Yeah, I know, weakling, but I can't help that my body is hardwired for chaos and not manual labor....maybe we should've made Clarisse wake up, this is her sort of thing, right? At any rate, I took baby steps, hunched over the pot in my arms. Nico was silently laughing at me.

Just as I started to move onto the rug, something horrible happened. I tripped. What made it worse is that I tripped over my own feet! I fell to the floor and the pot shattered a couple of inches from my outstreached arm. The noise that it made when it contacted the stone floor was loud enough to wake the dead,....or should I say Gods! A shard of it flew backwards and cut me right across the bridge of my nose, making a bloody line across my freckles. Suddenly the snoring stopped, and the bed sheets rustled. "What is this?" The voice was sinister and cold yet at the same time a little warm and comfy. "Uh....uh....uh..." I stuttered, " I was taking your plant out for a nice day at the park?"

"Why are you disturbing me you ungrateful little bastard?"

"Uh, correction. I'm not a bastard, I know my daddy, thank you very much!" Yet again I'd said the wrong thing. I started to feel giddy and light-headed, then my eyes felt heavy. I hit the floor and slowly fell asleep. I was awake long enough to hear Nico sigh and jump to my defence. Before I knew it, though, I was out cold. There were no dreams, it was just blank; A big nothing.
over a year ago HecateA said…
big smile
Amph, you are one heck of a writter.
Kool-aid... I'll never look at the stuff the same way again.

Do you reckon Apollo really does let his kids drive? He must have some days where he just goes "what the heck, Lee, you're on!"
I can picture the beautiful chaos that would cause. Ah...

Again, love it!
over a year ago redhawks said…
Awsemo job!!!! That was funny. I wonder what would happen if I went and drank my kool-aid right now????..........Ummmmmmmmmm
over a year ago sonoboreas said…
This story is soooooo hilarious and genius! But I guess I should say that you're hilarious and genius since you're the one who made it

over a year ago Amphitrite said…
I hate Ice Water

Have you ever had that sickening feeling in your stomach when you wake up somewhere that you know you didn't fall asleep at? Well, that's how I felt. My eyes slowly opened to reveal a dark, eerie room. The walls were black and glistening with water. Was I in a cave? I felt the blankets under me. They were silky and smooth to the touch. Blood red. What a color to wake up under...I think I much preferred the gold on the beds in my cabin. I clumbsily searched with my hands for a nightside table. When I found it I fumbled to turn on the tiny lamp. Unfortunately it wasn't a normal lamp, and when I reached for the spot where the nob should have been I fell right onto the cold floor. My face hit first and I ended up squished like an accordian with my feet hanging onto the edge of the bed. Someone laughed in the corner. "Hey! Who's in here? Why are you laughing?! Get up off your ass and help me! Gods help you, if I ever get off of this fucking floor I'll kill you!" I sounded like an idiot yelling into the darkness. Nico stepped out of the shadows. " You should see yourself! You look so stupid!"

"Damn it, Nico! Help me up or I'll throw you into a pile of thumb tacks!"

"Why would you do that?"

"Because you won't help me off this cold ass floor!" I screamed at him. He reached his hand down, and, after some extreme contortion, I placed mine in his. "You're such an asshole." I said as I turned on the light. I'd like to say that the room looked a little better with the light but unfortunately it looked just as creepy. "There's some clothes at the foot of the bed, I'll be in the hall." It was only then that I noticed that I was in my under garments. I immediately grabbed the blanket from the bed and wrapped it around me, "Are you an idiot or a pervert!? Get out!" Nico scratched his head sheepishily and gave me a lopsided grin, "Sorry." I waited until he was out the door before I let the blanket fall and moved to the end of the bed. There was a pair of faded denim shorts and a white tank top. I threw the clothes on really fast and started searching the room for some shoes. After I crawled under the table and slid under the bed, I found a pair of tan work boots by the door. I smacked my forehead and picked them up. There was a pair of toe-socks bundled inside of the left boot. I pulled them on and then slid my feet into the boots.

I slammed the door on my way out and followed an embarassed Nico down the hall and into a large throne room. The creepy guy Nico had sat in front of on Olympus was in the large freaky throne. "Daughter of Eris," he said, "If you ever pull a stunt like that again I'll kill you myself. Do you know what I had to do to get you out of there?"

"No, and I really don't care. But thanks for caring enough to leave the Castle of Doom to get me."

"You really are like your mother....completely infuriating and totally untouchable."

"Untouchable? Why would you want to touch me? Are you one of those creepy old men?"

"I would like to throttle you for your impudence."

"Oh, well if that's all...."

"Kyri, stop it." Nico whispered from my side.

"Girl! You need to get to your next task. The flower has been sent to Olympus."

"Uh....I thought that Hermes did the whole message... package... mailman thing...."

"He does, but Iris is filling in for him." Jason said, walking into the room with Clarisse and Grover.

"Where are we going next, Train Wreck?" Clarisse asked.

"Uh...well,..uh....hmmm.....OH! We need an apple....a golden one!"

"Great, just what I need!"

"You want an apple?

"No, dumbass, I was being sarcastic. We're going to have to get into the Garden of the Hesperides."

"OOh! I hope they have those "Don't Walk On the Grass" signs! I need a new sign for my room, there's a blank spot between the "Slow. Children at play" sign and the handicap parking sign."

"You really are annoying." Clarisse said, "Lord Hades, Are you sure you can't kill her?"

"I'm sure." the guy in the throne grumbled.

"Aww, your Hades? I thought you'd be scarier! Boo." I said. Hades had a look of pure hatred and annoyance in his eyes. I tryed not to laugh at him, and thankfully, for once, I succeeded.

After an hour or so we were fitted in black armor and ready to go. I'd gotten my ripped jeans back, but I kept the boots. Hades had given us each a piece of obsidian, and we each placed our piece on the floor in front of us. Nico said a quick goodbye to his father and we stepped on top of our stones. As per our agreement we all appeared on Alcatraz Island. It was out of the way, and tourists wouldn't be paying attention to a few kids popping up out of nowhere because they were too busy hunting for Al Capone's ghost. I suddenly regretted not taking the jacket that Nico had offered to me back in the world of Gloom and Doom, though. It was very chilly, too chilly for summer. Jason pulled the jacket from his back and pushed it towards me, "Here, take this Ky, you need it more than I do."

"Did you just call me Ky? How dare you! Wait, nevermind I like it. I hereby grant you permission to call me that."

"He needs permission?" Nico asked.

"If he doesn't want an atomic wedgie he does!"

"Train Wreck," Clarisse turned towards me, "We've got shit to do so stop yapping."

"I'm not yapping!"

"Shut up! Now, can anyone think of a way to get into the Garden?"

"Uhhh....hmmm....Ok, I think I remember something from my eigth grade history class." I said, "It's been a very long time, but I think I remember my teacher saying that Calypso had the same dad as the Hesperides."

"That's right!" Jason exclaimed, "The only thing is, no one knows how to get to her island."

"I think I have a way." Nico said and started walking towards the water. He pulled something from inside his pocket and tossed it into the water. The cold swells rose higher and the grey sky darkened. In the distance a school of sharks that I'd been watching suddenly dispersed, swimming in different directions like they were scared of something. A faint green glow came over the water and the waves started to pound harder and harder against the rocks. I looked toward the horizen to see a giant dolphin jumping through the water on it's way towards the beach. When he reached the sand bar he started to glow brighter than the water, and he looked like he was now walking. With every step closer to the shore he looked more human than dolphin, until he emerged from the last breaking wave. Nico led him back towards our group. "Hello," the man said, "You called for me?"

"Yeah, I did." Nico said, "We need your help. When Amphitrite ran from Poseidon, you were the only one who could track her, right?"


"Wait," I jumped into the conversation, "You mean to tell me that this dude is Delphin?"

"I am Delphin." The man announced.

"Oh man, this is totally sweet! A talking dolphin! Travis is never going to believe this! Can I take a picture of you? I know a few magazines that would die for it!"

"Little one, I am not a tourist attraction, and I am not going to help you if you keep this up."


"Ok, well, We need to find Calypso, can you help us?" Nico asked.

"I think that some of my brothers would take you for the right price."

"Fine," I grumped, "I'll give ya' some drachmas."

"We don't want your money,"

"Well then! What do ya' want?!"

"For the opinion of my kind to be heard at Olympus."

"Oh...uh....I can't make any promises..."

"All I need is your sworn oath that you will try."

"Uh, ok...I swear that I-"

"No, you are doing it wrong, Dipshit," Clarisse whispered, "You have to swear on Styx."

"I don't have a stick."

"You really are stupid! The River Styx! S-T-Y-X!"

"Oh! Uhhh...... I swear by the River Styx to try my hardest to convince Pop-Pop, I mean, Lord Zeus to hear your opinions in Olympus." An icky feeling came over me like cold trickling water falling down my spine and Delphin bowed his head, "It has been done." He walked to the water's edge and made an odd squeaky noise. A school of dolphins swam towards the shore. Two of them jumped into the air and made a heart before they pulled up at the dock to our left. Delphin lead us down towards them, all the time clicking and squeaking. "My friends will take you to Ogygia, but I warn you that it will be a long ride." We each crawled onto the backs of the dolphins, and one by one we took off.

The sky was dark and sprinkled with twinkling stars when the dolphins finally stopped. They had pulled up to a cliff face on an island. I figured that the rest of the water surrounding the place was too shallow for them. "We swim from here." Jason said and we bade farewell to the hyper little critters we'd hitched a ride on. We swam in a straight liine around to the left until we made it to a white sandy beach. I trudged towards the tree line shaking myself like a dog, "I HATE ice water!"

"We should've brought Percy or Maggie. Poseidon's kids can always keep you dry!" Jason laughed.

"Ok, where to no-" I didn't finish my sentance because there was a beautiful woman standing in front of me. I couldn't describe the way she looked for some reason. She gazed at me in a mixture of hurt and contempt. "Who are you?"

"Uh, me? I'm Kyri, and you're Calypso, right? Can you play the steel drums?"

"What do you want?"

"I'm trying to get into this garden to go apple picking."

"Follow me," She motioned for me to follow but when the rest of the group started to move she held her hand up, "No, just her. The rest of you stay." I followed her through a pretty little flower garden and up into a small cottage. She sat me down at a table and poured me a cup of tea. "Peppermint and Chammomile from my garden." she said, "Now, why do you want into that garden?"

"I'm trying to save someone."


"This really hot guy who's all comatose up on Olympus."

"Does he have a name."

"Yeah, Hermes."

Anger crept into her eyes, "Why do you want to save him?"

"Well, first off Nanna and Pop-Pop want me to and second off, I think he's really hot!"

"Oh,...well, I can't tell you how to get into the Garden."

"Don't lie to me."She turned her back on me. `I was starting to get pissed off, "Hey, I'm talking to you! I know you know how to get in there so you may as well tell me now." She turned around and slapped me. " Oh Hell naw, Bitch!" I screamed taking of my ear rings. "You did not just smack me! I'll beat yo' ass! Fuck! You see what you done?! You brought out the ghetto in me!" I went after her but someone grabbed me by my shoulders, "You told her you were trying to help Hermes, didn't you?" Clarisse asked in one of those you're-such-a-dissapointment voices.

"Yeah, so! What about it!?"

"Calypso and Hermes have a history, Nimrod! Why couldn't you leave him out of this?"

"Uh, cuz' he's hot!" I yelled. Clarisse growled and let me go. Jason pushed past us and walked towards Calypso. The two conversed in a corner for about five minutes and then Calypso slipped into the next room. Jason and Clarisse patted my shoulders and stepped outside of the cottage. Calypso returned carrying a faded piece of yellow parchment. She stood in front of me and passed the map. "I'm sorry, Kyri. I am still hurt from his rejection. When he met May he forgot about me, and I've been sour ever since. I've been in love plenty of times and I can just tell that you are."

"Am not!"

"You are, too. You wouldn't do something like this if you weren't."

"Who's to say I'm not doing it to make Nanna happy?"

"You don't seem to care what other people think. But, you need to hurry. This is a map with all of the possible entrances. Take the one nearest to the lake, you won't be seen that way. Please save him, Kyri, and when he wakes up tell him I'm sorry."

"Sure thing, Miss C. Uhm...about that whole love thing....don't say a word or I'll get my mom to come visit regularly."

"No!" she started laughing, "Don't do that! I won't say anything, scout's honor." I left her in the cottage and walked out the door. Everyone started asking questions, but I just waltzed by them, I was too busy. Busy thinking about what Calypso said. Did I love him? Was it even remotely possible? I'd only ever saw him asleep. I must admit, though, I'd always liked him in the myths. But what if I did love him but he wasn't the god he was in the myths? It wouldn't matter, look at my mom, no god in their right mind, except Apollo....but he's never in his right mind... would come anywhere near me. They think I'm like my mom. Maybe Hermes was different, I don't know....I felt a little jolt in my heart, that little funny feeling you get when you meet Mr. Right. Was he my Mr. Right? "Kyri! Damn it! Answer me!" Clarisse was yelling at me. I pulled myself from my thoughts, "What?"

"Are you going to tell us where we are going?"

"Well, lets see, we're walking up a hill. There's a tree, and there's a rock."

"Can you stop with the fucking sarcasm for one minute!"

"Sure...." I pulled the map out of my back pocket, "We only have a little more to go. There's a little passage up here. We've gotta' get through it and it'll take us to the Lake in the Garden. According to Calypso no one will see us if we use this path." We continued up the hill with a little conversation about how good it would be to get back to camp. Nico wanted some Mc Donalds, Jason wanted a hotdog and some Dr. Pepper, Clarisse was in bad need of a shower and some doritos, and Grover wanted some cans. Any cans, he wasn't really picky...I, well, I wanted some Reeses Pieces to be perfectly honest. We finally reached a penacle where the map said the entrance to the passage was. I didn't see shit! There wasn't anything there, just a clear stretch of land overlooking the sea with a few little rocks and pebbles sprinkled around randomly. I turned back to face everyone and they all had the same look as I did: completely clueless and a little pissed. All at once we nodded our heads and started fumbling around the penacle looking for the entrance.

One hour later I had given up and collapsed on the ground. Jason, Nico and Clarisse had sat down long before me. Finally Grover gave up and sat down next to me and pulled out a set of reed pipes. He started playing the theme song to the Titanic movie. Somewhere in the middle of the first refrain there was a great groaning sound followed by the sound of crumbling rocks. We jumped to our feet, weapons drawn, looking for the source of the disturbing noise. "Look!" Nico shouted, pointing his blade towards the ground a few feet away. A large hole had appeared. It was wide enough to squeeze through. Jason took the lead and I followed with Clarisse, Nico, and Grover behind me. Something was seriously wrong with that passage. It had taken us nearly 8 hours to get to Ogygia, but after ten minutes in the dark earthen tunnel we reached the end. I poked my head up through the exit first, surveying for any danger. I smooshed myself closer to the wall so that Jason could fly up and get an aerial view. Since he was dressed in all black, you could barely see him floating up in the air. I looked around.

There was a beautiful lake immediately to my left. Up on a tall precipice sat a large temple that looked to be made out of black marble. The torches on the sides of the building played off of the golden swirls in the stone. I looked to my right and saw one of the prettiest sights in the world. There was an enormous flower garden complete with little streams filled with Coy Fish, and trellises covered in the sweetest vine roses. There were irises of all different colors and types, lillies as far as the eyes can see, and gladiolas as tall as me. There was delphiniums and crocuses, larkspurs and anemones. There were peonies of every different shades with flowerheads bigger than the shields back at camp. Everlasting flowers and narcissus flowers were everywhere. Olive trees and Manna ash stood stately among the flowers. Chaste trees full of tiny white blooms hung heavy over the waters. It was so neat, yet so natural. Man...I could think of a million different ways to detstroy this, is that all I really think about?

As I pondered my destructive streak, a great gift from dear old mom, I spotted it. In the center of the grove was the largest tree in the whole garden. It's leaves sparkled like emeralds, and it's trunk seemed to shine like the sun. But that wasn't what I had came here to see. The tree's foliage was laden with golden, glorious fruit. I started to run for the tree, but as usual, Clarisse grabbed my arm, effectively holding me back. Damn it this chick was strong...Note to self: When I get back to camp I need to start lifting weights.

"Do you see that?" Clarisse pointed to the bottom of the tree, "That's a drakon." Sure enough, coiled around the tree's base was a serpent. It was the same color as the apples. Smoke rolled out of it's nose like the exhaust coming from the back end of a really old car. I could hear it growl every few minutes. If it wouldn't have embarassed me, I probably would've pissed my pants right there. "How the hell are we supposed to get past that big mother fucker?" I asked incrediously.

"Well, I could fly over and grab the fruit." Jason said.

"I could summon some zombies." Nico added

"I've killed a drakon before, Laden wouldn't be a problem for me."

"She has to get the fruit herself." Grover just had to ruin it all, didn't he? I was willing to let the others have their glory, but no. Grover's such a party-pooper. "So, anybody got a game plan?" I asked, thoroughly disappointed.

"I've got one." Grover said, "He likes lullabies. I can play one on my pipes, but I think he'd much rather hear some singing."

"I'm out" Jason.

"Me, too." Nico.

We turned toward Clarisse, "Man you've all got me fucked up. I fight. That's it. "

"Kyri?" Grover asked.

" it neccissary?


" 'bout Rock-A-Bye Baby?"

"That's great! My Nanny goat used to sing it-" We all gave Grover a look that would've made anyone watching crack up in a fit of laughter. "Alright let's get this show on the road." I said.

Grover and I crept down the hill we were on and went towards the giant Drakon. When we were close enough that he would hear us I started to sing:

"Hush little baby, don't say a word.
Mamma's gonna' buy you a mocking bird.
If that mocking bird don't sing,
Mamma's gonna buy you a diamond ring.
If that diamond ring turns brass,
Momma's gonna' buy you a looking glass.
If that looking glass gets broke,
Mamma's gonna' buy you a billy goat.
Hush little baby don't say a word.
Mamma's gonna' buy you a mockng bird.

When I finished the song the beast was asleep at my feet. He snorted as if to say "Thank you." I crossed over him and reached for the lowest branch possible. I'd never been able to climb trees, but I had no choice. I pulled my self up and inched my way to the end of the branch. I concentrated on the task at hand and reached towards the glittery apple in front of me. Just as I had plucked it from the tree I heard a woman scream. I jerked my head up to see three gorgeous girls running towards us. One had bright blonde hair that trailed behind her, one had red hair pulled up in a sporty pony-tail. The last one's hair was like a river of trapistine chocolate floating in the air behind her. The one thing they had in common was their deep grey-blue eyes. They were brandishing cudgels and bows and yelling various curses in our direction. I took a chance and stood up on my branch. My head peeaked above the leaves and I turned towards my friends, "Run!" I flipped out of the tree and we headed out in the opposite direction than we'd come. Jason breezed by us like it was the most natural thing in the world to be going as fast as a racecar. I would've killed him, but I was so far behind I couldn't even see Nico or Clarisse. Damn it!
last edited over a year ago
over a year ago HecateA said…
big smile
"A million different ways to destroy this place"? *explodes into laughter*

Nana and Popo-pop? Better never call zeus that, he'd be ticked! One day that chick will get striked by lightning and she'll die for sure after swearing at Zeus for it...

You write one hilarious story Amph, I love it! Can't wait to see how they'll get away with this one!
over a year ago sonoboreas said…
I feel extremely lucky because i get to read two amazing fanfiction chapters in one day!
over a year ago Amphitrite said…
I get Chaotic

My heart felt like it would explode! I'd never ran so far or so fast in my life. We stopped in the middle of a road on a mountain. Grover and Jason looked completely uneffected by our midnight sprint, but Clarisse and Nico were clutching their chests. I was bent double ready to collapse at any moment. Good thing I didn't because I heaved up everything, which wasn't much, that was in my stomach. Everyone gave me a disgusted grimace and stepped away. I wiped my mouth and had to jump out of the street because of a car. An oldschool convertible, a Lebaron I think, pulled up next to us. "You don't know how glad I am to see you!" Clarisse called to the driver and slipped into the back. Grover, Nico, and Jason followed suit. I thought they were pretty nuts to be getting in a car with a complete stranger. "Well, are you gonna' get in, Train Wreck?" I nodded my head at Clarisse and hopped in the front seat. The chick driving was pretty, but she looked like she'd never had fun. Her hair was a soft golden blonde and her eyes were grey like storm clouds. She was wearing a pale blue sweater and a pair of jeans. "So, you're Kyri. There's been lots of talk about you at camp."

"Uh...who're you?

"I'm Annabeth, daughter of Athena."

"Oh! You're mom's the one that keeps arguing with mine!"


"So what's got you out an about at this hour? Have you been partying? Are you driving under the influence? I'm getting out if you are!"

"No, I'm not under the influence, you dolt. Percy got an Iris message from Calypso. She said you guys were heading up here and that you'd need some help."

"Well, it looks like I got out ok, so why would I need help."

"She said that you weren't very bright and she figured the other ones would feed you to Laden because you were so annoying."

"I thought about it." Clarisse chimed in from the back seat.

"Oh shut up Clair, I'm not annoying, you guys just don't understand my humor." Jason and Annabeth laughed, and we all quietted down. I watched the trees zoom by as we made our way down the mountain.

We pulled up on a street corner and before we got out Annabeth gave us some money and her blessing. She'd explained that she couldn't help us anymore because her step-mom's sister was getting married. We waved at her and headed down the street with absolutely no idea where we were headed to next. We wandered around for a little bit when we came across a hill in the down town area. I was bored and it looked pretty cool, so without warning the others I climbed to the top. The others didn't notice and they kept walking. There was a statue that had long since been destroyed and a tree. The statue in it's former state looked like it might've been one of Pop-pop. They always got him wrong, though, I didn't think he had washboard abs...I'm pretty sure he just had an old man pudge...maybe that's a thought I should save for myself. Anyway, as I was scrutinizing the broken alabaster I saw something in the corner of my eye. I didn't think anything about it until I saw it happen again. I turned towards the tree and there he was. Pop-pop was standing there, plain as day. He had a pinstripe suit on and a bright yellow tie. His hair was long and black with big chunks of grey. "Hi, Pop-pop." I said.

"Hello, sweety."

"What're you doing here?"

"Helping. Come on." He lead me back down the hill and through a series of streets until we ended up inside an out of the way burger joint. He pointed me towards a table, and walked towards the counter. When he returned he had an order of chicken rings and tots and a burger. "Which one do you want?" he asked.

"Gimme the chicken!" he laughed at my enthusiastic reply and ate his burger while I gobbled down my food.

"I wouldn't do this for any other person, just so you know" he said.

"Then why are you doing it for me, Old Man."

"Don't call me Old Man! I'm accustomed to being called by my proper name, but I guess, for you and you only, you can call me Pop-pop. But only because you are the only child of my beautiful baby girl."

"Mom really is spoiled, isn't she."

"Yes. Now, do you remember the next item on your list?"

"Uh.....spring water. I was just going to pick some up at the store."

"Not that kind of spring water. You need the elixir of Aristophecles."

"And where do I find the Elixir of Ari-blah-blah-blah?"

"Aristophecles. You'll find it in the land of horses."

"Horses? Dude, am I gonna' have to shovel poop?"

"No, I don't think you will." He laughed, "Come on, think, Little One, where in the states do you see horses?"

"Everywhere....have you seen that one chick on that TV show? She's a horse!"

"No!" he yelled, aggrevated. "What state is known for it's horses?"


"Yes. Now, there is a stream on a mountain in the Berea area. Look for a demigod by the name of Nichole in Richmond. She lives on Water Street. She'll help you find the stream. The waters from the stream, once bottled are known as the elixir."

"Thanks, Pop-pop!"

"Hurry on, you've got to be quick about it! Hermes' state is deteriorating as we speak."

"I'll be back to Olympus in the blink of an eye, Pop-pop! You can count on me!" Wow, that was oddly out of character for me and for him! I ran out of the Burger Shack, waving at Pop-pop on my way out. I worked my way back towards the hill and, thankfully, everyone was waiting on me. "Where the fuck were you?" Clarisse yelled.

"Getting some help."

"From who?"

"My grandfather. We need to get to the airport."

"Why?" Grover asked.

"We've got to go to Kentucky and find this spring. The water from it is called the Elixir of some name that is too confusing and I'll call it Exhibit's that?"

"Ok, well lets go...I think Annabeth gave us enough for a cheap flight." Jason said. We all gathered what little we had and started walking. It took us a little while, and a hitch on a farm truck, to make it to the airport. I walked through the doors and started shivering. Did they have to keep it that cold? Jason walked towards one of the ticket counters with his pocket bulging with the money. Grover headed for the damn snack bar. Nico went to the gift shop, and Clarisse headed towards the ladies room...was she even allowed to use the ladies room? She wasn't very lady like...I wasn't very lady like for that matter...

I fell asleep after about twenty minutes only to wake up in the middle of a bed of hay!"What the fuck?" I screamed, sitting bolt straight up.

"The only thing I could get us was a flight on a cargo flyer. Unfortunately the cargo happens to be horses." Jason said from his seat on a box to my right.

"Oh, well this blows big ones," I pulled a strand of hay out of my hair. "Wait up, how the hell did I get in here?"

"I carried you, Train Wreck." Oh great Clarisse had her hands on me...wonder why she didn't kill me? "Maybe you should lose some weight." She said.

"Maybe you should pluck your eyebrows!" Ha. I got her with that one! "OH shit!" Clarisse jumped at me, ready to beat the daylights out of me. Jason stepped into her path. "Clair, stop it. You can't hurt her."

"Why not?"

"Because My mom, my Nanna, and my Pop-pop will make sure you get your just desserts!"

"If you hadn't noticed, Train Wreck, your Nanna and Pop-pop are mine, too!"

"Yeah, but they love me more! Oooooooo, Someone's unloved!! Ha!"

"That's fuckin' it!" Clarisse barrelled past Jason and slammed hard into me, knocking me back into the hay. She lifted her arm, ready to strike, but as she brought her fist down towards my face it started to change. It shifted and distorted like it was being pulled in a thousand diferent direction. Clarisse yelped in what I could assume was pain and jumped back away from me. Immediately her hand returned to normal. She grabbed it with the other hand and walked back to where she had been sitting to examine the damage. "What the fuck was that?!" Jason was freaking out.

"I think that's her power. " Nico said.

"But what the fuck was it?" Jason asked.

"Utter Chaos," I stood up and brushed hay off of my clothes. "Don't cha remember what my mom is?"

"Oh!" Jason said, "That's messed up!"

"I wonder if it only works if I'm being attacked?" I held my arm out, flexing my wrist, and concentrated. The tips of my fingers started to tingle and my hand started to glow. A tiny ball began to form. It was purple and black, and it swirled and turned in a sinister sort of way. As it got bigger my arm started to bend under it's weight. The ball was glimmering and shining with a silverish white radiance like a diamond. I was not only holding, but creating pure frinetic chaotic energy! Everyone's eyes, including mine, grew to the size of golfballs! I couldn't believe what I was staring at! It was starting to burn, though, and I had no clue what I should do, so I threw it. Bad, bad, very bad decision! It flew from my hand destroying all in its path. When it hit the wall of the plane it sort of splattered and then it started to rotate. The metal around it started to crumble and break. The ball had become a vortex sucking in everything around us! After that it felt like I was moving like lightning in a slow motion movie. I wasn't alone either! Nico, jumped to attention, "Fuck! What do we do?"

"Nico, you get the pilots out with that shadow thingy you do, meet us at the airport! Clarisse try and find some chutes! Poseidon! If you hear me, get these horses out now! Pop-pop! Bless us, please, cuz' if you don't we are fuckin' screwed!" Right before our eyes, the horses just dissappeared. "Thanks! Now, Jason, you can fly right?"


"Do you think you'll be able to carry me and Clarisse, cuz I think there's only one chute and Grover's gonna' need it?"


"Don't worry about it Train Wreck, you go with Jason, I've got an extra chute. Me and Goat Boy will meet you at the airport."

"Alright." I grabbed ahold of Jason's waist. "One. Two. THREE!" I shouted and we jumped from the obliterated plane. I looked back to see the sky slowly start swirling into the chaos. "Shit!" I concentrated hard on the mess I'd created, and lifted my hand instinctively towards the spinning doom. My palm tingled this time and a ray of golden, soft, warming light shot out stopping the chaos in it's tracks. Harmonic energy! I noticed then, that not only did I have the power to make chaos and mayhem, but I also possessed the means to stop it. I was like ying and yang! Chaos and Harmony all rolled into one! Man I'm awesome! I turned my head back towards Jason, "It's ok, now. I fixed my mess." We were quiet after that and he bade the winds to carry Clarisse and us towards the meeting spot: The Blugrass Airport.

We didn't make our mark. We ended up landing in the middle of the Bluegrass Army Depo. Just great! We were swarmed by armed soldiers in their ugly green and brown fatigues. It made it ten times worse because I was glowing. They were shouting at us, and I'm pretty sure that I had about 7 lazers on me...everyone would've been a kill shot had they fired. I thought we were royally fucked, but then a man, probably a higher up, stepped from outside of the crowd. "Leave them alone. They're only kids. They must've had an accident or something. Bring them to my office." He walked away and the guns dropped. Four men helped us up off the ground and lead us through a series of bunkers and buildings. Finally they pushed us through a door and told us to be respectful. We found ourselves in a drab office with only a boar's head on the wall for decoration. There was a large dark wood desk with a computer and several piles of paperwork. A rolly chair sat on the side with the computer and two ugly red upholstered chairs like you'd find in a doctor's office waiting room were on the other side. The man that had saved us from the rabid soldiers strolled casually through the door."Hello. I'm General Kingston. What the hell were you guys doing up there? The Mist is strong, but I'm sure they would notice if the world got sucked into a black hole!"

"You're a demigod?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes, I'm a son of Ares."

"Oh! That means your Clarisse's brother! Yay! A family reunion!"

"Yes, well...What are you doing here?"

"We are looking for another demigod....I think Pop-pop said her name was Nichole."

"Who the hell is Pop-pop?"

"That's what she calls Lord Zeus." Clarisse said from the corner.


"Because I'm the only daughter of his favourite daughter, which makes me the favourite grandbaby!" He gave me a weird look and grabbed a set of keys off of a hook on the wall. He threw them at me, "Here, there's a hummer outside of this building take it. The airport is on your left when you come out of here. I saw your friend pop up a few minutes ago. Go pick him up then get back on the road and go in the opposite direction. When you hit down town go straight until you come to a bank. Hang a left and turn right onto the next street. Nichole should be in the house at the end of the street. It's a dead end so you can't miss it.

We picked up Nico and followed the General's directions to a tee. I pulled the big ass vehicle into the driveway of a two story white victorian house. There was a balcony on the roof and tons of blue flowers all over the yard. A giant tree sat on each side of the perfect walkway leading up to the perfect veranda. There were ruffled blue curtains in every window and the shutters were always one shade lighter than the curtains. I hopped out of the hummer and told the others to wait for me. Before I could even knock on the door, a gorgeous, statuesque twenty something woman walked out. She shook her long brown locks, "Hey, you must be Kyri! Come in!" She smiled and her sea green eyes sparkled like the ocean. I followed her into the house and into a sitting room. The couch, loveseat, and recliner were a pristine white, which I found extremely surprising because there were three black- headed toddlers with the same green eyes as hers running around the living room. The floors and the tables were made out of a light colored wood, and there were three seashell covered lamps around the room. The ceiling was high and a fan with three large canvas petal blades hung about a foot down off of it. There were ships and nautical designs and decor all around. The greatest thing about the room, though, is that the wall opposite of the one I was standing next to was completely made of glass. Through it I could see an immense garden, again filled with nothing but blue flowers, and a large pond and waterfall. Great view! Nichole sat me down on the couch and offered me a blueberry muffin from a silver serving plate. No, thanks." I said, "Blueberries are on my list of foods I don't like."

"Oh.That's cool. So Zeus said that you needed my help." One of the identical looking toddlers popped his head through the door and said "Daddy? Where daddy?"

"He's not here, honey. He'll be back later."

"Those are Pop-pop's kids?"

"Yeah. I guess that makes them your uncles."

"So, you aren't the demigod?"

"Yeah, I am...well I'm not a regular demigod, I'm a double demi. My mom was a daughter of Hermes, and I'm a daughter of Poseidon, if you couldn't tell. Pretty much I control water and I'm good at stealing things. It's cool, but it gets annoying when you have monsters attacking the house all the time. Anyway, what exactly do you need help with."

"Well, your mom's dad is-"

"Comatose, I know."

"Yeah, and I'm the one that's going to wake him up! I'm supposed to be here finding some elixir or something."

"Oh, the Elixir of Aristophicles?"

"Yeah, that's it."

"Damn, that's going to be tricky. Huh, the nymph up there is a bitch."

Another one of the toddlers ran through the room, "Bits, bits!"

"No honey, don't copy mommy! Your daddy will kill me!"

"Sowwy Mommy." The kid headed back to play with his brother and sister.

"Triplets?" I asked.

"Yeah. They are Hades on wheels, I tell ya'."

"I bet! But anyway, can you help?"

"Yeah just let me get them a sitter." She stood and walked out of a door on the glass wall. I looked out the glass and watched her toss a coin into the mist from the waterfall. I was amazed to see a girl's face appear in the mist. She talked with Nichole for a while and then she dissappated into the mist. Nichole walked back in, "Hebe's gonna' watch the kids for me. She can keep up with them better than I can, anyway. What're we drving?"

"A hummer that General Kingston gave us."

"Oh, Ben? I haven't seen him for months! He must be busy. He gives the kids weapons training. You're never to young to play with swords when you're a demigod!" We laughed and started to leave the house while the kids started yelling "Hebe, Hebe!" and a teenager walked in from the garden.

We got back to the car, and I let Nichole drive us. We pulled out and headed back the way we had came. When we got out of downtown we followed a road past a Krogers. Everywhere I looked there were cows! We passed several small stores, and eventually came to a fork in the road. We took the left and passed through a small township. When we came out of the other side of the little village we came to a hill and another road. Again we took the left and ended up driving into the sharpest curves I've ever seen. Tiny houses dotted the hilly, mountainous landscape, and stray animals wandered the road. It took another fifteen minutes before we made a right hand turn onto a gravel road. Nicki pulled us into a gravel parking spot next to a fence. When I got out I looked around to see that we were in front of a graveyard. To my utter horror, Nichole dragged me through the front gate. Clarisse, Grover and Jason were just as on edge as I was, but Nichole was calm and Nico looked like he was right at home. "Are you sure you're grand-dad isn't Hades?" I asked Nichole.

"I'm sure. I've been here dozens of times. This is where all of mom's family is buried." We walked in eerie silence through the massive cemetary. I looked at the tombstones. There were lots of Embrees, McHoans, and Walkers. There were people named Fairy and Lula; Phinias and Guy. I was shivering and goosebumps had appeared everywhere. I focused my eyes on the gravel path in front of me. After five minutes we came to a gate barring us from the lake on the other side. Nichole pulled a bobby pin out of her back pocket and bent it until it was straight. She inserted it into the bottom of the lock and, after a bit of jiggling, the lock dropped open. She pulled it off the chain and kicked the gate open. "We head to the right." She said and lead us around the lake. There was a small path leading through the woods, and we continued up it. No one told me I was signing up for a three hour long hike.

We arrived at the east bank of a fast flowing stream surrounded by pines and dogwood trees. Evening was falling and the air was chiller than it already had been. Crickets started chirping in perfect rhythm with the croaking frogs. I walked to the edge of the water and looked upstream. An adorable little girl with long flowing locks of blonde and big blue green eyes squated next to the stream brushing her hair over her shoulder. Her dress was so pale blue that it was almost white and her skin was rosy with just a tinge of the blue that was in her dress. "That's the river nymph" Nichole said, stopping beside me, "If you put even one toe in the water she'll be after you like a hungry bear!" I couldn't resist it. I slipped my boots off of my feet and pulled off my socks. Sitting down on the bank I softly pushed my feet under the water. "What are you doing!" cryed the girl, appearing in front of me in a geyser of water. "Get your nasty mortal limbs out of it! This isn't your water!"

"Oh yeah, well, I'm here to get a little of this water for someone dear to me!" I yelled back, "I'd like to see you stop me!"

"I will, you just wait and see!" She turned towards the opposite bank and started calling for something in ancient greek. "Uh, oh!" Nichole said, "I can understand one of the words....I think we need to run!"


"WOLF!" Grover wailed, "Bha-ha-ha! I'm outta' here!"

"You guys go, I've got this under control, just give me the bottle and go." Nichole passed me a small glass vial and a whip, "Here, I hope this'll help. I'll meet you back at the car with the other guys." My friends took off through the woods. Clarisse didn't want to go with them, but I pushed her towards Jason. I shrugged off the jacket I had stolen from Jason and stood my ground ready to fight. If I hadn't needed the water I would have ran from what I was staring at. A wolf the size of an elephant with thick black-grey fur rushed out of the woods. He wore a monster snarl with his lips pulled back over giant fangs and canines. His eyes were as gold as the apple in my napsack and a red feather hung from behind his left ear. There were scars on his muzzle and all over his body. I rallied all the will power in my body and thought about my goal and then I rushed it. I seriously charged at the beast! My whip was flailing and I sent flashes of chaotic energy down it's length. As I jumped the length of the river I twisted my body and brought the whip hard against the beast's forhead. A fresh, clean, bloody slash opened from it's left eye to it's right ear. As I landed in the swirling stream I pulled the whip up through the air and knocked the wolf along his chin. The river nymph was pissed and she sent a swirling beam of water at me. I ducked under it and rolled towards the nymph. I shot my whip out and slapped her on the cheek with it and ran fast up onto the bank. The wolf was momentarily confused and trying to figure out where I was. "She's over there, you dumb brute!" The nymph screamed, and the wolf turned its head to look at me. I lifted the whip and spun it over my head three times. I then slung it out and wrapped it around the wolf's front leg closest to me. As it snapped all the way around l yanked the weapon back towards me and forced the giant's front leg to collapse, effectively bringing the beast to the ground on it's front quarters. Still holding the whip around it's leg I forced more energy down it's length and into the beast. It growled and started to fight to get up. I ran at it, pondering what to do next. I popped the vile out of my pocket and pulled the cork out with my teeth. I used the whip as a swing of sorts, and flew out in front of the behemoth towards the stream. Scooping a little of the water into the bottle I willed the whip to release and recoiled it. I needed a get away, and what better get away than the monster it's self. I dodged under it's bone-crushing bite, but it slashed my shoulder with it's massive claws. I clutched my wound and hauled ass towards the wolf's hind quarters. I jumped up onto it's tail and ran all the way up it's back until I reached it's head. It was fighting back with enough force to bring down an entire mountain, and I was about to fall when I had the most brilliant idea! I shoved my open hand, palm down, onto the top of the wolf's head and concentrated on peace and harmony: two things I can't stand. The monster started to calm down and it bowed it's head down allowing me to sit down. I threw the whip down and it pulled it into it's mouth like a bridle for me to hold on to and guide it. "C'mon, boy. I think I'll call you Kaiser." He wagged his tail enthusiastically and started to walk across the stream. I looked down at the nymph. She had the darkest, maddest, most sullen face I'd ever seen. I laughed at her and lifted my middle finger in her direction.
over a year ago ngweien said…
big smile
Yay! It's finally up