Oh this is soooo good!! its hilarious! all of the gods's side comments really match their personalities perfectly! thanks for posting :D

I love it as always! So funny! Got told to shut up a couple of times, but so worth it!! Errm.. I don't really think I want to know what you were doing with a wrecking ball.. Whatever it was, I'm sure it only ended in disaster..

$%#@*(#!&!(im cursing)i got soda on my computer anyways <3 ur story!the gods r so funny!

Hades read, before any fights over global warming can start.

lol awesome chapter i would'v said more but i have limited time

oh my gush dude, that was seriously phenominal, i was laughing contiounsly that my mom thought i had a siezure, and thought i was going insane. Amazing chapter when are you going to post?

Cool :D

Awesome! It's really entertaining to read!!

Dude post already we love you fanfic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL! ur an AWESOME writer!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA =)) my gods =)) Apollo's haikus always gets me! I was freaking crying because of laughter =)))))hahahahahahahaha

Great story. Love the gods reactions to things. Only bad thing is there is currently no more :( !!

Love it as always!

Partypony,
You and Hecate are tied for my favorite writers/stories on here. I'm still working on reading Hecate's SoN (it has 90 pages, I think). Keep writing!! I ADORE THIS STORY!!!!! :D <3

ARGH! I saw somebody had commeted recently and I'm like 'oh boy new chapter!' Aww...

^^ Sorry, Hecate! Yeah, that happens to me all the time with other fanfics that I'm a fan of. It makes me mad.

SO DARN GOOD!!!!!(original too!)

just started reading your story really nice by the way can't whait for the next chapter:)

Found this last night, LOVE it!!!! Super funny! I'm not sure which part is my favorite, but if I had to choose, I would say... ALL of it! Hehe, not specific at all, but hey, if I can't choose, that must mean it's all amazingly equal in awesomeness! Absolutely can NOT wait for the next update!

"Leo VI,"

“Still Leo’s point of view,” said Hermes.
Athena rolled her eyes. “I think we all know that it switches points of view every two chapters.”

"HOW DID HE DIE?" LEO ASKED. "I mean Beckendorf."

Hephaestus winced. “He just has to ask that question doesn’t he?” He shot a look a Poseidon.
Poseidon shrugged. “He’s your son.”

Will Solace trudged ahead. "Explosion. Beckendorf and Percy Jackson blew up a cruise ship full of monsters. Beckendorf didn't make it out."

Dionysus yawned. “Yes, yes, what a tragedy.” He muttered under his breath, “One less brat to worry about. Too bad the other brat didn’t die along with him.”

There was that name again—Percy Jackson, Annabeth's missing boyfriend. That guy must've been into everything around here, Leo thought.
"So Beckendorf was pretty popular?" Leo asked. "I mean —before he blew up?"

Hephaestus snorted.

"He was awesome," Will agreed. "It was hard on the whole camp when he died. Jake—he became head counselor in the middle of the war. Same as I did, actually.
Jake did his best, but he never wanted to be leader. He just likes building stuff.

“Don’t all of your children like building stuff?” Ares asked. “What’s the difference?”

Then after the war, things started to go wrong. Cabin Nine's chariots blew up. Their automatons went haywire. Their inventions started to malfunction.

Hephaestus frowned. He was aware of this, but he really couldn’t do anything about it.

It was like a curse, and eventually people started calling it that—the Curse of Cabin Nine.

Hephaestus sighed. “They had to make it sound so... haunted.”

Then Jake had his accident—"

“Ouch,” said Apollo. “I think I foresaw that happening.”
“Shut up, Apollo,” said Artemis.

"Which had something to do with the problem he mentioned," Leo guessed.
"They're working on it," Will said without enthusiasm. "And here we are."
The forge looked like a steam-powered locomotive had smashed into the Greek Parthenon and they had fused together.

Hephaestus nodded. “That’s the point. Ancient Greek and modern forging techniques, together.”

White marble columns lined the soot-stained walls. Chimneys pumped smoke over an elaborate gable carved with a bunch of gods and monsters. The building sat at the edge of a stream, with several waterwheels turning a series of bronze gears. Leo heard machinery grinding inside, fires roaring, and hammers ringing on anvils.

Demeter frowned. “They should’ve at least put sound-proof walls.”

They stepped through the doorway, and a dozen guys and girls who'd been working on various projects all froze. The noise died down to the roar of the forge and the clickclick- click of gears and levers.

Hermes said, “Awkward much?”

"'Sup, guys," Will said. "This is your new brother, Leo—um, what's your last name?"
"Valdez." Leo looked around at the other campers. Was he really related to all of them?

“In a way, yes.”

His cousins came from some big families, but he'd always just had his mom—until she died.
Kids came up and started shaking hands and introducing themselves. Their names blurred together: Shane, Christopher, Nyssa, Harley (yeah, like the motorcycle).

Ares snickered. “Hey, Heph, I’m riding your son!” He instantly got hit by a screwdriver.

Leo knew he'd never keep everybody straight. Too many of them. Too overwhelming.

Hephaestus shrugged. “He’ll get used to it. That’s how it always is for new campers.”

None of them looked like the others—all different face types, skin tone, hair color, height. You'd never think, Hey, look, it's the Hephaestus Bunch!

“Just look at their hands,” Hephaestus said, “and you’ll find out pretty quickly they’re my children.”

But they all had powerful hands, rough with calluses and stained with engine grease. Even little Harley, who couldn't have been more than eight, looked like he could go six rounds with Chuck Norris without breaking a sweat.

“Exactly.” Hephaestus grinned. “Chuck Norris is my son.”

And all the kids shared a sad kind of seriousness. Their shoulders slumped like life had beaten them down pretty hard. Several looked like they'd been physically beaten up, too. Leo counted two arm slings, one pair of crutches, an eye patch, six Ace bandages, and about seven thousand Band-Aids.

“Again, ouch,” said Apollo.
Hephaestus scowled. “Instead of saying, ‘Ouch,’ why can’t you just heal them?”
Apollo held up his hands. “Dude, I’m not allowed to interfere with half-bloods, remember?”

"Well, all right!" Leo said. "I hear this is the party cabin!"

Dionysus frowned. “And who in the right mind would say that? The party cabin is my cabin.”

Nobody laughed. They all just stared at him.

“Wow,” Hermes said sarcastically, “your children are awesome at welcoming a new camper.”

Will Solace patted Leo's shoulder. "I'll leave you guys to get acquainted. Somebody show Leo to dinner when it's time?"
"I got it," one of the girls said. Nyssa, Leo remembered. She wore camo pants, a tank top that showed off her buffarms, and a red bandanna over a mop of dark hair. Except for the smiley-face Band-Aid on her chin, she looked like one of those female action heroes, like any second she was going to grab a machine gun and start mowing down evil aliens.

The Olympians laughed. “He makes the weirdest comparisons.”

"Cool," Leo said. "I always wanted a sister who could beat me up."

Hestia’s smile faltered. “Who would want a sibling who beats them up?”

Nyssa didn't smile. "Come on, joker boy. I'll show you around."
Leo was no stranger to workshops. He'd grown up around grease monkeys

“Grease monkeys?” asked Hermes excitedly. “I want one of those!”
Hephaestus rolled his eyes. “It’s not actually a greasy monkey.”
“Oh.” Hermes pouted.

and power tools. His mom used to joke that his first pacifier was a lug wrench. But he'd never seen any place like the camp forge.
One guy was working on a battle-ax. He kept testing the blade on a slab of concrete.
Each time he swung, the ax cut into the slab like it was warm cheese, but the guy looked unsatisfied and went back to honing the edge.

“Perfectionist?” asked Hera.
“No,” Hephaestus told her, “the blade is not nearly sharp enough for some monsters.”

"What's he planning to kill with that thing?" Leo asked Nyssa. "A battleship?"

“Possibly,” said Hephaestus.

"You never know. Even with Celestial bronze—"
"That's the metal?"
She nodded. "Mined from Mount Olympus itself. Extremely rare. Anyway, it usually disintegrates monsters on contact, but big powerful ones have notoriously tough hides. Drakons, for instances—"
"You mean dragons?"

“No,” said Athena. “They’re similar, but not the same. Drakons are several thousand years older than dragons.”

"Similar species. You'll learn the difference in monster-fighting class."
"Monster-fighting class. Yeah, I already got my black belt in that."

Ares scoffed. “He’s barely a white belt. You’d need to fight a lot more than some storm spirits to get a ‘black belt.’”

She didn't crack a smile. Leo hoped she wasn't this serious all the time. His dad's side of the family had to have some sense of humor, right?

“On better days, yes,” Hephaestus said.

They passed a couple of guys making a bronze windup toy. At least that's what it looked like. It was a six-inch-tall centaur—half man, half horse—armed with a miniature bow.
One of the campers cranked the centaur's tail, and it whirred to life. It galloped across the table, yelling, "Die, mosquito! Die, mosquito!" and shooting everything in sight.

“Ok...”

Apparently this had happened before, because everybody knew to hit the floor except Leo. Six needle-sized arrows embedded themselves in his shirt before a camper grabbed a hammer and smashed the centaur to pieces.
"Stupid curse!" The camper waved his hammer at the sky. "I just want a magic bug killer! Is that too much to ask?"

Zeus frowned. “Isn’t that a bit too complicated for a magic bug killer?”
“Unless it’s a giant monster bug,” said Apollo.
“Yes, that too.”

"Ouch," Leo said.
Nyssa pulled the needles out of his shirt. "Ah, you're fine. Let's move on before they rebuild it."
Leo rubbed his chest as they walked. "That sort of thing happen a lot?"
"Lately," Nyssa said, "everything we build turns to junk."
"The curse?"
Nyssa frowned. "I don't believe in curses. But something's wrong. And if we don't figure out the dragon problem, it's gonna get even worse."
"The dragon problem?" Leo hoped she was talking about a miniature dragon, maybe one that killed cockroaches, but he got the feeling he wasn't going to be so lucky.

“The bronze dragon,” Hephaestus muttered. “The biggest project my children had ever done.”
“Then it went haywire,” said Athena.
“Hey! It was still successfull!”
“For a while...”

Nyssa took him over to a big wall map that a couple of girls were studying. The map showed the camp—a semicircle of land with Long Island Sound on the north shore, the woods to the west, the cabins to the east, and a ring of hills to the south.
"It's got to be in the hills," the first girl said.
"We looked in the hills," the second argued. "The woods are a better hiding place."
"But we already set traps—"
"Hold up," Leo said. "You guys lost a dragon? A real full-size dragon?"

“Losing a dragon is easier than you might think,” said Hermes.

"It's a bronze dragon," Nyssa said.
"But yes, it's a life-size automaton. Hephaestus cabin built it years ago. Then it was lost in the woods until a few summers back, when Beckendorf found it in pieces and rebuilt it. It's been helping protect the camp, but, um, it's a little unpredictable."
"Unpredictable," Leo said.
"It goes haywire and smashes down cabins, sets people on fire, tries to eat the satyrs."

“If it’s so unpredictable,” said Athena, “then how come they know what it’s gonna do?”
“From past experience?” Hephaestus offered.
Dionysus scowled. “Tries to eat my satyrs...”

"That's pretty unpredictable."
Nyssa nodded. "Beckendorf was the only one who could control it. Then he died, and the dragon just got worse and worse. Finally it went berserk and ran off.

“Ooohhh,” said Apollo.

Occasionally it shows up, demolishes something, and runs away again. Everyone expects us to find it and destroy it—"

“Of course,” said Hera, “it is your creation.”
“Actually,” said Athena, “it’s not their creation. It was made by different children of Hephaestus long ago. So, in that sense, it’s not their creation. They’re just related to the creators.”
“Oh my gods, Athena, can’t you, for once, just not be too logical?”

" Destroy it?" Leo was appalled. "You've got a life-size bronze dragon, and you want to destroy it?"

“It appears so,” said Artemis.
“Poor dragon,” said Hestia.
Hephaestus thought about it. “It was pretty useful when it was working.”
“Can’t you just, like, fix it?”
“As much as I want to fix it, I can’t. That would be against the laws.”

"It breathes fire," Nyssa explained. "It's deadly and out of control."

“Pretty good reason to put it down,” said Posiedon.

"But it's a dragon! Dude, that's so awesome. Can't you try talking to it, controlling it?"

“They would have by now,” Hephaestus said. “They don’t like destroying something made by their own hands, especially not something as remarkable as the bronze dragon.”

"We tried. Jake Mason tried. You saw how well that worked."

“Oh. Right.”

Leo thought about Jake, wrapped in a body cast, lying alone on his bunk. "Still—"
"There's no other option." Nyssa turned to the other girls. "Let's try more traps in the woods—here, here, and here. Bait them with thirty-weight motor oil."
"The dragon drinks that?" Leo asked.
"Yeah." Nyssa sighed regretfully. "He used to like it with a little Tabasco sauce, right before bed.

“Tabasco sauce?” asked Zeus. “That’s kind of...”
“Weird,” Hera finished. “I didn’t think a bronze dragon can tell if it’s eating... I mean drinking something that has Tabasco sauce in it. What with it not having any taste buds...”
Hephaestus said smugly, “You just don’t understand mechanical creatures.”

If he springs a trap, we can come in with acid sprayers—should melt through his hide. Then we get metal cutters and … and finish the job."
They all looked sad. Leo realized they didn't want to kill the dragon any more than he did.

“Who would?” Hephaestus mumbled.

"Guys," he said. "There has to be another way."

“Well,” Hephaestus said thoughtfully, “you could always replace some of the damaged parts. The disk...”
“Heph,” Ares said, “we don’t need or want a lesson about mechanics right now.”

Nyssa looked doubtful, but a few other campers stopped what they were working on and drifted over to hear the conversation.
"Like what?" one asked. "The thing breathes fire. We can't even get close."
Fire, Leo thought. Oh, man, the things he could tell them about fire… But he had to be careful, even if these were his brothers and sisters. Especially if he had to live with them.
"Well …" He hesitated. "Hephaestus is the god of fire, right? So don't any of you have like fire resistance or something?"

“Very few of my children have flame-resistance... I mean flameproof,” Hephaestus said. “The last one...”
“Yes.” Athena smiled. “The Great Fire of London. Your son got out of control.”

Nobody acted as if it was a crazy question, which was a relief, but Nyssa shook her head gravely.
"That's a Cyclops ability, Leo. Demigod children of Hephaestus … we're just good with our hands. We're builders, craftsmen, weaponsmiths—stuff like that."
Leo's shoulders slumped. "Oh."
A guy in back said, "Well, a long time ago—"
"Yeah, okay," Nyssa conceded. "A long time ago some children of Hephaestus were born with power over fire. But that ability was very, very rare. And always dangerous.

“But useful in fights,” said Ares.

No demigod like that has been born in centuries. The last one …" She looked at one of the other kids for help.
"Sixteen sixty-six," the girl offered. "Guy named Thomas Faynor. He started the Great Fire of London, destroyed most of the city."

Athena scowled. “I just said that.”

"Right," Nyssa said. "When a child of Hephaestus like that appears, it usually means something catastrophic is about to happen.

Apollo raised his eyebrows. “Foreshadowing?”
“Maybe...” Hera kept her thoughts to herself. She had a pretty good idea of what the ‘catastrophe’ was...

And we don't need any more catastrophes."

“Too bad,” Hera whispered.

Leo tried to keep his face clear of emotion, which wasn't his strong suit. "I guess I see your point. Too bad, though. If you could resist flames, you could get close to the dragon."

“Oh.” Athena realized what he was getting at. “Leo is...” She shook her head. She’d find out soon enough.

"Then it would kill you with its claws and fangs," Nyssa said. "Or simply step on you.

“Good point,” said Athena.
“That reminds me of Hera’s facial expression,” said Hermes. “The one that says, ‘Don’t cross me or I will have to step on you.”
Hera scowled. The Don’t-cross-me-or-I-will-have-to-stepp-o­n-y­ou facial expression was on her face.

No, we've got to destroy it. Trust me, if anyone could figure out another answer …"
She didn't finish, but Leo got the message. This was the cabin's big test. If they could do something only Beckendorf could do, if they could subdue the dragon without killing it, then maybe their curse would be lifted.

“Hmm...”

But they were stumped for ideas. Any camper who figured out how would be a hero.

“I have a prediction!” Apollo declared. “Leo will be a hero.”
Artemis rolled her eyes. “Obviously.”
“Obviously?” Ares seemed confused. “How would you know?”
“Because,” said Athena, “that’s usually what fiction books do. Sometimes, it’s predictable.”
“But this isn’t fiction,” said Zeus. “But I get your point...”

A conch horn blew in the distance. Campers started putting up their tools and projects.
Leo hadn't realized it was getting so late, but he looked through the windows and saw the sun going down. His ADHD did that to him sometimes. If he was bored, a fifty minute class seemed like six hours. If he was interested in something, like touring a demigod camp, hours slipped away and bam— the day was over.

“I know!” Hermes exclaimed. “Whenever I’m watching one of my, um, work on play, it always seemed so fast!”
“If I didn’t know better,” said Apollo, “a certain titan of time is messing with us.”
Poseidon threw a shoe at him. “We don’t need a reminder of that event, Apollo.”

"Dinner," Nyssa said. "Come on, Leo."
"Up at the pavilion, right?" he asked.
She nodded.
"You guys go ahead," Leo said. "Can you … give me a second?"
Nyssa hesitated. Then her expression softened. "Sure. It's a lot to process. I remember my first day. Come up when you're ready. Just don't touch anything. Almost every project in here can kill you if you're not careful."

Hermes scowled. “It’s always my children who get hurt in there.”
“They get that from you,” Hephaestus said.

"No touching," Leo promised.
His cabinmates filed out of the forge. Soon Leo was alone with the sounds of the bellows, the waterwheels, and small machines clicking and whirring.
He stared at the map of camp—the locations where his newfound siblings were going to put traps to catch a dragon. It was wrong. Plain wrong.

“Morally, it’s wrong,” said Athena, “but logically, it’s the right thing to do.” Of course, she’s only saying that to keep her reputation. She knew that Leo will do something to fix the problem.

Very rare, he thought. And always dangerous.
He held out his hand and studied his fingers. They were long and thin, not callused like the other Hephaestus campers'. Leo had never been the biggest or the strongest kid.
He'd survived in tough neighborhoods, tough schools, tough foster homes by using his wits. He was the class clown, the court jester, because he'd learned early that if you cracked jokes and pretended you weren't scared, you usually didn't get beat up.

“That means,” said Ares, “Hermes’s children won’t get beaten up, right?”
Hermes brightened. “Hey, you’re right!”
“Hmm... except for a few.”
“Oh. Right.”

Even the baddest gangster kids would tolerate you, keep you around for laughs.

“Good strategy,” said Athena.

Plus, humor was a good way to hide the pain.

“Heph,” said Dionysus, “there’s something wrong with your kid.”
“Um...”
“What? He keeps talking about pain! If you ask me, he needs to see a psychiatrist!”

And if that didn't work, there was always Plan B. Run away. Over and over.

“That’s what he’s been doing for the past several yeats.”

There was a Plan C, but he'd promised himself never to use it again.

Hephaestus had a feeling he knew what Leo was talking about.

He felt an urge to try it now—something he hadn't done since the accident, since his mom's death.

It dawned on Hephaestus. “Oh...”

He extended his fingers and felt them tingle, like they were waking up—pins and needles. Then flames flickered to life, curls of red-hot fire dancing across his palm.

“Oh, man,” said Hermes, “Leo’s a fire user!”
“Stop stating the obvious!” Athena’s mind was thinking through all the possible things Leo could do. The catastrophe... Foreshadowing...
“Kinda grumpy, aren’t you?”
Athena didn’t answer.
Hera smiled to herself. She now knew she got the right kid.
Hephaestus blinked. “Of course.”
“Who’s reading next?” Hermes asked.
“Me,” Zeus volunteered. Hermes passed him the book.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HEY I DONT GET HURT...wait never mind. -_- And yeah we dont get hurt if we crack jokes. Unless we pull a prank on someone or do some other stuff to make people mad. XD

Awesome job as always!!!

Awesome! Made me laugh!

Oh. My. Gods.
That made me rofl. It was excellently written. But what else is new? XD
You ROCK, partypony!

Hilarious! Again... You're good at that! I loved: "This isn't fiction, but I get your point" Zeus! A subtle way to remind us that you're sharing the future with the gods. This is definitely in my top 2!! First or second it's hard to pick, both are SOOO clever! I know you JUST posted but I already can't wait for the next post!!! =D-+<
Here's a cake for your hard work!! (Hands cake of your choice to you!)

Very nice!! Another great chapter that made my morning very nice.

PP, i love this! whenever i read this i cant hekp but laugh!