I spend the rest of the reaping day locked in my room, huddled in a ball, trying not to think of Peeta and the painful, dreadful days to come. My mother never tries to talk to me or intrude on me; she must know how I feel, because she loves Peeta too.
When it's suppertime, all she does is crack my door open and slip the plate of food onto my bedside table and run back out. I don't eat much of the fish or green beans, just pick microscopic pieces of the food off and play with it, bored.
When the lights go out and noises cease, I whimper softly into my pillow. Could it really have been this afternoon Peeta and I were talking about what would happen? Only this morning did we spend breakfast at his parents' bakery fantasizing about our future. But now it seems there won't be one.
I begin to cry into my pillow and just accept, tiredly, that it will be a long first night, and the next few weeks will certainly be unbearable.
After midnight, I wake up, sweating and shivering at the same time and paper white. Was today all some nightmare, and just now I've woken up?No, today was real, and losing Peeta just feels like a nightmare.