I look down at them, how dare they smile and laugh while I sit here in misery because of them? I try and close my eyes, tell myself that they cannot repent even if they wanted, at least not here. They can't say things like that in front of these men. I try and try to convince myself, but honestly, it's not true.
You look up rebel in the dictionary and there's a picture of her. Ragged clothing, one large braid down her back, defiance in her eyes. She allows a glance at me, then pats her husbands' lap. She walks slowly up the carpeted stairs. The men ask her where she's going, I can't hear them, but I know. She motions angrily at me, and they stare at her, hard, stone-faced.
Her husband gets up, angry. They see him coming and automatically let him by. Funny, odd, ironic? I don't know, maybe I'm in too much pain to be surprised, or feel any emotion besides pain and hatred, betrayal. She sits in a chair next to mine. “I still you hate you.” I whisper. She glares over at me. “You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me.” she says it with a voice that lets me know she thinks she's superior.
“You say that like it's a good thing to be here.” I blink them back, angry, hot, tears. She chews the inside of her jaw, and turns to the stairs. “I thought it'd be different, I mean I knew it wasn't going to completely just change, but.... I didn't know I’d be changing opposed to the government changing.”
I search her eyes looking for something to hate, but unlike everyone else here, I see something real inside of her. Something strong, and I can't go through with it. “I'm sorry,” I say handing her the folded paper. Peeta moves quick, up the stairs, and through the guards, and to us. Us, at the big round table, and chairs made from expensive wood. His hand moves towards her hip as she stands.
He leans over her to whisper in her hear. Like I said before, I don't need to hear them, I know. “Wow, so that's how it is? I thought we were friends, Peeta, the best of buds?” I talk sarcastically, through my teeth that are closed tightly. She sits back down, and Peeta joins us. “I really can't understand you sometimes, Naomi.” Katniss' word quiver and crack, a tear drops. Peeta squeezes her hand.
“I understand this isn't who thought you'd be, or even maybe want to be, but Katniss, don't turn into that person. Because now, you're going to be just like him. Blood dripping off your tongue, a whole room of roses, poisonous..” I talk without thinking, but she's breaking and cracking on every word. Peeta stares at me intensely. I wish I could stand, walk out right now.
My own voice has started to fade and tears start to form again, ones too big for me to blink back. I see the only thing that could ever make me smile. He comes strait for me, running. He forgets he strong and hugs me hard enough for my bones to crack, maybe I'm being a little dramatic. I let the tears fall this time. “Naomi,” he smiles, pushing his lips against me.
Katniss flinches as we kiss, just as he sometimes does when she kisses Peeta, it scares me, hurts me. “Katniss, Peeta.” he says acknowledging them, but pronouncing Peeta's name with disgust. I push a hand through his hair and my hands trace the muscled figure of his face. “I missed you.” I whisper. “I was worried,” he talks with caution, and then stops as if trying to erase an answer after you know that the answer you put down was just, wrong.
My vision suddenly blurs and I close my eyes to make it come back, but fail. “Gale.” I tell him, and laugh. “Do you know what that word means?” He looks confused, and frightened by my random outburst. “No?” he replies. “A strong wind, definition one. A burst of sound, especially of laughter, definition two.” They all stare at me like I am psycho, which I am.
“Are you okay?” Gale moves closer to me, so close I want to kiss his lips that are inch away. I turn my head and whisper to him, “I'm fine, I just missed you. I mean who wouldn't go crazy? Besides I've been hanging around with Katniss, without a way to run away.” I motion to my leg. He nods, still unsure.
Peeta and Katniss leave the building, Katniss goes back to being president, with her husband beside her. Gale and I? We never know which days we're going to wake up. Katniss has turned into a Snow, she doesn't give two gorilla butts about us in thirteen anymore. She has her eyes set on the Capitol, she's one of them., Peeta, though, he's becoming more and more of who he used to be.
Katniss insisted we come and stay in the capitol when she became president, but It'd feel too threatening, not that if feels safe here, but, I don't know, I like it. For Gale, he's an officer now, he's usually away and I'm here with Citrus, my baby girl. I get scared when I turn on the news and they say a officer is down or has been shot, but he always calls me to let me know it's not him.
It still hurts me the way he flinches when Peeta and Katniss kiss, as Katniss does the same. He tells me it's instinct, but I don't like it. The way he turns away or leaves the room they talk about their kids. I guess this is just the way we're living right now, and I'm no Katniss, I'm not going to change it. When I mess with things it's like I'm playing with glass, and it always ends up broken, and I always end up hurt. It's not happening again, because I love Gale, even if I know I'll end up hurt someday,
One day there was this show about a tornado and what I'll never forget is this man, looking up into the sky in his navy blue shirt and saying to his wife in a country voice, “That thing's sure gonna blow a gale.” and It did, winds blew hard. I felt like that's exactly what describes my husband. A strong wind never backing down, and I love it.