“Finally, I said to myself. “This is what I’ve waited so long for.
"Shi, if you get this letter it means your father and I are somehow incapable of telling you about your past, but here is where I write why almost everyone, including us, feared you so much. We’re so sorry we couldn’t tell you in person. We planned to, but just in case something happened I prepared this letter, specifically, for you.
After I gave birth to you the nurses took you to the infirmary. They took some x-rays and a chakra test. When they’d gotten the results they told us you had amazing chakra. Knowing that reassured us because then we knew you’d grow up to be a fine ninja. One better then both of us combined. A few days later the nurses said we’d be able to take you home. Gladly we answered yes, but when they went to the infirmary, you were already gone. The village did the best in their ability to find you. They sent search parties, but none of them could ever find you. 5 months passed and some Leaf ninja found a secret hideout along with you in it. The man who took you was only a subordinate of Orochimaru. Apparently Orochimaru had different subordinates spying in separate villages. Since you had a lot of chakra, he wanted to use you as a test subject. It was almost like he was trying to recreate the Uchiha clan’s Sharingan. This is why you have that eye on the left side of your face. Supposedly it could surpass the Sharingan if you trained your eye right. The eye was made to make ninja stronger, so whenever you got angry it transformed into a snake’s. Eventually you’d calm down and it’d go away, but the more you used it, the eye would continue to take shape and even after you were calm… it wouldn’t go away until minutes after… sometimes it took a day. Then we came up with a theory; if you kept using it then the eye would resemble a snake’s until the point where it was permanent. It’s why most of the village is scared of you. All of us grew worried as you continued to get older. Soon you were noticing how people were treating and looking at you. Please know all we tell you is for your own protection and we’ll always love you. This eye you have though, its not all bad. If you do choose to go with the training then use it to become a strong ninja and protect people you love."
Orochimaru…?! It can’t be. It’s not possible. We made an alliance with him though. Why? And mom and dad… they fought beside him and his shinobi? What the hell is going on? “Somebody, please tell me, yeah?” This letter only made me ask more questions. Besides the Sharingan coming from the Uchiha clan, I didn’t know anything about it. Wait a second… wasn’t the Uchiha clan slaughtered by one of its member’s a couple years back? So who would want to recreate the Sharingan? I guess it something I’d have to look into, but getting the right information meant paying a visit to the Leaf. Rather not. Not now at least. If I were going to the Leaf I was most likely to run into a few ninja. I’d like to kill at least one if possible. In order for that to happen, I’d have to get stronger, but I wasn’t going to use the eye, like mom suggested. Absolutely not! I don’t need some eye to help protect myself and I had no one else to protect so it was useless. I stood up tall and proud, clenching my fists. Compared to the Leaf I was nothing. I wanted to be a formidable opponent. Standing here won’t accomplish anything. All I had to do was train and I’ll accomplish my goal. “Yes, I’ll get stronger today,” I said this proudly with one fist raised in the air. Right away I packed up all my kunai and shuriken in separate pouches. Then I left outside in search of a place to train. It needed to be someplace where no one would go or want to be. Somewhere far, but not too far where I can get lost. Later on I came upon a cliff about 40-50feet tall. It didn’t take long to climb up, which was a good thing. I didn’t want to be tired after climbing. My energy would be wasted and I wouldn’t be able to train as well.
The cliff seemed sturdy enough. It was wide and spacious. It made me sad to see a place be completely deserted and isolated. The whole environment was lonely. I shuddered a bit after realizing the words I spoke. I’ve never like them, but I had to get use to them, since I was alone. No one could love or protect me besides myself and to be honest I didn’t like me very much. Did I even have a reason to live? I haven’t thought of one since mom and dad died. Wait…! Maybe I did have one. Perhaps its avenge father and mother’s deaths and to kill Orochimaru. Things would change officially now. Nothing could get in the way of my path… the path of becoming a strong ninja.
Since then I’ve trained my butt off. Every day before climbing the cliff, I ran laps around the village, but when I was on the cliff I practiced my aim by throwing kunai and shuriken at target dummies. My idea of a target dummy is pouring dirt on top of each other then throwing weapons at them. Not the best training system, but its all I had to work with. I know training would also happen at the academy, but I’m pretty sure no one would look forward as having me as a classmate. They’d only stare at me and run away. That’s what everybody else does, but I won’t let it stop me from being a great shinobi.
After a few months in the academy I learned the Shadow clone jitsu. Otherwise not much has happened. I still continued the same ol’ training, but I grew bored of it. During the time of my great boredom I became a Genin. Being a Genin was nothing special. I still felt the same… weak. I wanted more than this. I wanted more strength and power, to learn more jitsu. Nothing else mattered. Love was a useless emotion. I wasn’t meant to feel it and if I couldn’t then one else should. I was assigned to squad 4. My captain and so called “comrades” wanted no part of me from the start. They shunned me away. Well, its not like they were important to me anyway. Their existence, the village’s existence, and my existence didn’t matter. Only right after the Chunin Exam (about 3 months later), I was already kicked off the team for disobeying orders and other things. Sometimes I’d hurt people when it wasn’t necessary and other times I killed people. I almost killed my teammates countless times. I threatened them, scared them, and put their lives in danger. I took action by myself. I didn’t want them there beside me or to tell me how things are done. Having them on a team only slowed me down. I couldn’t deal with it any longer, so I attacked them without thinking of the consequences. I shook my head vigorously not wanting to remember what had recently happened.
Weeks passed and I continued the same old routine waiting to see if I’d be assigned to a new team. I highly doubt they’d do anything about it. Who would want something like me on their team? I know I wouldn’t. I hated myself for just being born, but I had to love me because no one else would. Countless times I’ve stood at the corner of a ledge ready to jump, but I wouldn’t end my life or try in any way to escape this nightmare of loneliness and solitude… not until someone would acknowledge me.
A slight breeze brushed my face as I took a walk in the village. I stopped by a store’s window. What I saw fascinated me. I reached into my pockets for money. “This should make more training more interesting,” I thought. I began learning about chakra swords from then on. You’re supposed to surround the sword with your chakra and then swing it with force. Depending on how much force you implied is the amount of pressure hitting against your opponent. It was almost like Temari’s fan. Except these swords were especially made for those who possessed the nature type in wind. Lucky me was a wind type, so I bought two swords.
1 year, 6 months and 27 days is the total amount of time I’ve been training. Its been about 5 months with the swords. More than a whole month has passed, yet I still feel weak. Then I got the idea of training longer during the days. At 4pm I left to go home, but today I’d stay until 3 more hours would go by. Then it felt as if that right amount of time was passed. “Huh?” I felt another source of chakra in the area. “This chakra… how could someone obtain so much?,” I thought. Whosever it was, they must be insanely strong. I sensed them getting closer. I heard their steps approaching. Closer and closer they came, probably only a couple of feet away. I stood there frozen as their tracks stopped behind me. It was tense. A sweat drop poured down form my right brow. What do I do? Should I turn around? Is it a smart move if I run? These questions ran through my mind. “Maybe I should- ” “Are you done here you almost done here?” Surely it was a voice of a male. My whole body was nearly paralyzed, but I couldn’t risk showing any fear. I gathered up all my nerve and spoke lightly. “Yes,” I replied. My voice was low and it wouldn’t surprise me if he didn’t hear. Little by little I’d turn my body around. The moonlight shined directly upon me, but he was surrounded by darkness. From the size of his shadow I was guessing he was about 4’6 or 4’7. A little taller than me. Then he spoke again to me again in the same monotone voice. “It’s okay if you’re not done here. I’ll come back later.” Slowly he walked further into the dark. “N-no, it’s fine. I should be on way home already.” God- I was stuttering now, so much for no fear. Again, his tracks came stopped. “You don’t have to leave, because of me. I wasn’t planning on scaring you.” Quickly I began packing up my gear on my knees. “How can I be scared if I can’t even see your face? Its fine though.” I was crawling on the ground, picking up the remainders of kunai and shuriken I had left on the ground. “Oh, okay then,” he replied. One of my kunai was near his feet. My arm reached out to grab it, but I held back when he crouched down and handed it to me. “Arigato Mr.,” I said cheerfully. I raised my head high to see the mysterious person I’d been talking to, but the cheery smile on my face disappeared, because in front of me was someone to be afraid of. No wonder this guy’s chakra is easy to sense. Why didn’t I notice before? Its so obvious to me now. Never in my life would I have imagined this day to come true. At first I was hesitant to grab the kunai, but I grabbed it and stood on my feet. No words came to me, so I slightly brushed by his shoulder and walked away. When he was out of sight, I ran back home feeling relieved. It wouldn’t surprise me if he thought I was an average person who feared and tried to avoid him. It wasn’t me though… to be frightened easily. Next time I’ll have some guts and talk to him straight. If there is a next time that is. I mean, this was the first time I talked to the guy in all my years of living in the village. I’ve done horrible things, but I reacted like any other person would towards him. Guilt found itself no longer buried deep in the core of my heart. It raced towards the surface. I slapped my cheeks one hit after another. “No-no-no! I can’t afford my emotions to get the best of me. Guilt, sorrow, happiness, and love- they’re nothing but useless emotions and major distractions. All I needed to feel was anger, pain, agony, and hate, but by letting guilt enter the category I’ve shown weakness. “Pathetic. Any signs of those emotions and my training will be meaningless. Only hate can me going. Its why I’m alive. Feeling all the rage gives me the excuse to hurt others. It won’t matter what good deeds I can do in the future. These hands will never be cleansed of all the blood that spews from other sinners.
The next person to mock me won’t speak once, after I’m done with them, for the rest of their miserable lives, because I’ll rip their tongue out with my bare hands and with my kunai, I’ll sink it deep through the heart- the source of all emotions. Someone had to hurt tonight… had to die or I’d lack in strength. Weakness wouldn’t be tolerated. Killing was the best option… my whole existence. Its what I live for. These hands of mine… they haven’t been completely stained of blood, yet. “Let’s make it happen then, yeah?” Ever since I was six I had the habit of ending almost every sentence in the form of a question. I use to be afraid to ask questions, but they told me there was no such thing as I a wrong question, so I thought it meant to keep asking questions in every sentence when I has the chance. Mom and dad said I’d grow out of it soon. I can’t say I believe them now after everything’s that happened. I should’ve known they’d abandon me. Why didn’t I see it coming? I bet they’re happy that they died. Now they don’t have to deal with me embarrassing them and they didn’t have to fill my head with lies and give me their “I’ll always be by your side” crap. “Whatever. I don’t need them anymore. Just like everything in the world, they’ll fade away. Yeah, but not my existence.” It’ll leave a scar on this world that’ll say” I was here.” Everyone would acknowledge it then. To make my dream come true, I’d kill another soul. Soon my existence would be known. They’d be forced to acknowledge it.
1:30 am. I grabbed my supplies and exited out the door. Inside my left pouch I had kunai and in my right were shuriken. I strolled down the village, walking nonchalantly. Hardly anyone was out this late, except for drunks, but there wasn’t many of those either. It was rare, but every once in a blue moon, you could find one. Mostly likely they’ll be walking funny; blood shot eyes; insane laughter and probably have a bottle of alcohol in hand. This was the exact description of the man walking my way. He lost balance and fell down along with me under him. I landed flat on my bottom. It didn’t hurt much, but was enough to tick me off. I pushed him away and patted the dirt from my clothes as I got up.
“Whoa. Little girl, my bad. The alcohol makes me a bit woozy.” The drunk kept babbling on, but his words were slurred, so I couldn’t understand him well. It got quiet when he took a closer look at me. His face was about 3inches away from mine. I put my hand on his face and pushed it back.” Oi, don’t get so close to me like that!” His eyes widened at the same time he dropped his bottle. It made a violent crash on the floor. Glass shattered over my feet and the smell of alcohol was stained onto my shoes. He pointed to me while backing up. “Wait a second… I- I- I- I know you. You’re that girl with the… with the- the eye thing. Aren’t, ya? Pffft… you don’t look like much. You’re just a girl with some freaky eye problem.” My fists clenched tightly. “I’ll kill you!” I reached into my left pocket and grabbed 3 kunai in one hand. I got into my fighting stance, ready to attack or dodge any attack. The drunken man backed up some more, making hand gestures that meant stop. “I- I’m awfully sorry. Please just let me go. It’s the alcohol. You have to understand, please.” Despite his pleading I threw the kunai at him all at once, but right as they hit him-he disappeared. “Shadow Clone Jitsu…?” Indeed it was. Out of nowhere same mad appeared behind me and had me in a half-nelson. His kunai was touching my neck. As I struggled to get away, he said, “Just because I’m a bit drunk, doesn’t mean I can’t fight a little girl. Die!” It slit my neck, but I poofed away in a blink of an eye. “Nani? Was this a shadow clone?” , he thought. “Up here”, I yelled from a building above. This time it was the real deal. I threw a couple of shuriken at him and when he was busy dodging them, I jumped down and kicked him in the chest. He hit the ground on his back with me on top. This is the moment I missed so very much. I haven’t hurt anybody since the last incident with my teammates. It felt so good though… to hurt a comrade and kill all those other people I didn’t know. Only when they die do I truly experience that greater stimulation. I couldn’t seek that stimulation last time with my team, but now… now I could finally feel what I was missing out on. “Die.” I said. Right as I was about to stab my kunai into his heart, some sand blocked my way. “No way”, I whispered under my breath. “Not you, again.”