posted by MephilesTheDark
This was it. The time. The ultimate challenge.
I quaked in fear as I looked into the depths of the enemy.
I stared in horror at the food stuffs that had been gathered there. Macaroni, bacon, lettice, cheese, all in there together, an army of mass destruction.
I gulped in some fresh air, and the contest began.
For here, the Fridge was cleaned rarely, perhaps once a every three decades, maybe less. The contest was a war between everyone who lived here; Annie, Nick, David, Rebecca, Crescent, Robo-Knuckles and myself. Also compeating was Manic. The victor was the one who found the oldest food, the one that had expired the longest time ago.
I nodded to myself.
I dug my hand in, and grappled a can of some long-lost reddish-greenish-brownish slop. The lable claimed it to be Tamato Paste, but I had my doubts about it.
I checked the Best Before date; 05/10/04. In the 6 years that had passed since it's expiration, it had become a semi-solid lump of mould and very uneatible "food".
But 04 wasn't going to win this contest, I would have to do better than that. 6 Years was nothing here.
Digging my hand in once more, I came out with a carton of milk, so old the outside was faded. A foul stench greeted my nostrils as I peered into it.
The milk was not lumpy. The milk was lump. A white blob floating in a small amount of a foul yellow-ish liquid. It had expired on the 25/06/98. Nasty.
I decided to keep that one; I might stick it in the middle of the road later, and hope someone ran over it. Hopefully, someone in a nice, new, shiney Convertible. Evil yes, funny no. Hysterical yes.
Sniggering at the idea, I once more buried my hand in, pulling out what looked like a dead chao. I stared at the soft, furry, brown thing in my hands. Of course. The Lettuce.
I put it out of it's misery and tossed it in the compost. Poor Lettuce.
What else was here? I went for the yougurt. Oh. My. God.
If I had thought the milk was bad, this was hell. I didn't even open it, I didn't want to know what horrid monster had been forming in the small container. It had expired on the 02/07/82. It smelled putrid. The box had mould on it. It. Was. Old. And gross.
I wanted to run and hide from this monstrocity. The sheer unhigenic-ness of it. This should have been thrown out 28 years ago.
"Uhhh... Guys?" I said, looking abound.
"Sup Meph?" Manic asked.
"I... I think I win..." I held it out to show the group.
"Oh. My. God." Rebecca gasped. "No way!"
"Woah..." Nick groaned. "And to think that was where we keep our food!"
"That. Is. Gross." David stated, a look of pure shock on her face.
"Get it out!" Annie screeched. "Out!"
Plugging my nose, I held it out at arm's length, and put the stinking object into the outside bin.
When I came back, Rebecca gave me an admiring smile, "We have a new winner."