We skip to S2, Stefan is fully aware that Damon is in love with Elena, so he saw it as an opportunity, Damon can be in Elena’s life and be her friend and save and protect her life as long as he doesn’t act on his feelings, and as long as Damon keeps his destines from Elena while saving/protecting her life then it was fine with him (we see this in 2x08 in the car scene Damon tells Stefan that he can get out as easily as he went in and Stefan respond “no you can’t that’s the BEAUITY of it”) he used and still uses Damon’s love for Elena instead of trying to make easier for him (selfish act#6) not just that he enjoys his brother’s suffering from unreturned love and teases him about it (“ you can be in love with Elena all you want IF IT MEANS you will PROTECT HER, but I have the one thing that you will never will” “her respect” Stefan to Damon in 2x19) almost forgot in 2x04 when Katharine told Stefan to break things off with Elena he didn’t listen to her and yet again did what he WANTED even Katherine threatened him he knew what she was capable of but instead he pretended to fake break up which no one believed for a second and Jenna ended up stabbing herself almost dying (selfish act#7) Damon let Elena go even though it hurt him like hell so she can be HAPPY, I mean not only safe but happy too.
We some to S3 and many many excuse that fans make for Stefan because he was under compellation (fine will let this slide) [off topic: Stefan broke up with Elena yes yes to keep her safe blah blah but he broke with her none the less] anyway back to after the compellation was broke and he was free to do whatever he wanted he could have gone back to Elena and made her after months of struggling have a piece of mind that he’s ok, to explain to his brother what really happened he at least owed them that after everything they have done to save his life, but instead the first thing he does is taking Klaus coffins in the name of revenge and becoming a dick, he claims he’s doing this so he to save Elena’s life and everyone he cares about, but he still takes risks with their lives all I have to say (3x11) he went out of his way to get revenge no matter what he didn’t care if it cost Damon’s or Jeremy’s of Elena’s lives as long as he got what he WANTED from Klaus (selfish act#7) and he again put Elena’s life/safety in his brother’s hands knowing that Damon will protect Elena with his life (selfish act#8) and was fine with until he found out that Elena might have feelings for Damon than it became a problem for him, he had no trouble using Damon’s love for Elena as long as it was one sided and it meant Damon would be miserable the mint there was a possibility that Damon would be happy or whatever all of SUDDEN he cares and is made at him.
i mean after the dinner damon took klaus talk into consedraction and though that he maybe has a point about the whole elena having a normal life and ignored her call because if it means elena being happy with a normal life than he would let her go, i mean during this whole episode stefan acted like a chiled who is trying to make both elena & damon feel gukity about the kiss(selfish act#9)
This last part is a spoiler so read on your own risk it’s from 3x14 web clip to prove my point once and for all:
As u watched ONE second Stefan says to Damon it’s his responsibility to PROTECT Elena and the NEXT second he says that he will protect Elena….umm hypocrite much??
Plz don’t start listing what Damon did this isn’t about what he did this about Stefan and how selfish and hypocrite he is.
"When I saw the title of the article in my updates, I knew it was written by you. I do agree on everything and I'd like to add a few things.
In 1x05 Stefan had locked Damon in the cellar, so he wasn't exactly a threat then. He pointed Stefan to the fact that the truth would come out. I know Caroline released him and he killed Zach and one could say Stefan wanted to kill him to protect the people (end of 1x05, Stefan grabs a stake), but I also believe he wanted to kill Damon so he couldn't tell Elena what Stefan and he himself were.
In 1x08 Stefan once again wants to kill Damon, because Damon has been haunting him for an eternity. So Damon can die as long as Stefan's at peace.
And about the adoption. Stefan dropping such a bombshell on Elena, so she wouldn't be angry with him anymore about the resemblance with Katherine is very selfish. It wasn't his job to tell her anyway."- HaleyDewit.