It all started on the school bus, you were nine and I was ten
Remember you had a walkman, all I had was a middle part and a pen

Oh sweet Louise, whatever happened to her

Then it all went downhill, you grew tall I stayed the same
I guess that that’s just puberty, making us boys always play a losing game
Oh sweet Louise

I always found it hard to work things through
Those school uniforms made a joke, made a joke of me and you.
I’m glad I’m not back in school.

She got an older boyfriend (how could she?), had a beard, smoked marlboro reds,
How can I compete with that? I don’t even know the location of the bike sheds.

Oh sweet Louise

I always found it hard to work things through,
Those school uniforms made a joke, made a joke of me and you.
I always found it hard to work things through,
Those school uniforms made a joke, made a joke of me and you.

She works down town in an un-marked bar
Flying round poles she always gave me the fright of my life..
I didn’t mean to get involved
It was the alcohol mixed with an empty feeling inside
It’s such a bad idea, falling in love with the lady of the night

Why couldn’t God give her two left feet
Then she couldn’t run away from me

Months go by and I’m alone in bed
While she’s greasing up for when the business men and lawyers arrive
I’ve got to wear a beard, a suit and tie and get past the door if I want see my girl tonight
I go to all this effort just to see my fair Patricia going home with some other guy

Why couldn’t God give her two left feet
Then she couldn’t run away from me

She thinks I’m sad and that’s alright
But she doesn’t hate me so there’s my little alibi
I can’t, I can’t leave, I can’t, I can’t
She’s my coked-up botox girl

m i in a scene from A Midsummer Night’s Dream?
I thought raves like these died in the nineties
The forest is breathing along with us tonight
Upper class thugs take middle class drugs
And we all get lowered inside
This is not my scene I should not be here tonight

Laura, Laura, Laura
You could get me home tonight

Trance music bangs a comical dance of cardboard boxes and fish
We’re the fairies from hell and we’re all on a death wish
This is not my scene, this is killing me
I don’t wanna be here tonight
And the girl who can save me is well across the Pennines

Laura, Laura, Laura
Get me home tonight

Laura, Laura, Laura
You could get me home tonight