I'm cheerful on the outside yes, but under this huge hyperfilled, cheerful girl is a fragile antique.
On the outside some see me as normal or energetic maybe the one apple with a hole in the barrel.
I'll plaster a smile every now and then to show the me-the fake me- to disguise the actual one pulling the strings.
As I stand before the mirror starring at myself I see that figure looming behind me his hand on my shoulder.
And at that moment my mask breaks and I'm stunned at my actual self.
I'm filled with depression, sadness, anger and haterid.
Never did I want to ever see the true me.
The mirror breaks and the man next to me whispers "Your mine." I look down in defeat.
Dropping to the ground-on my knees-I begin to cry.
He got the better of me and now I am no more.
"I'm a monster." I say to myself through a sob.
On the outside some see me as normal or energetic maybe the one apple with a hole in the barrel.
I'll plaster a smile every now and then to show the me-the fake me- to disguise the actual one pulling the strings.
As I stand before the mirror starring at myself I see that figure looming behind me his hand on my shoulder.
And at that moment my mask breaks and I'm stunned at my actual self.
I'm filled with depression, sadness, anger and haterid.
Never did I want to ever see the true me.
The mirror breaks and the man next to me whispers "Your mine." I look down in defeat.
Dropping to the ground-on my knees-I begin to cry.
He got the better of me and now I am no more.
"I'm a monster." I say to myself through a sob.
but now its over
and i am not going back
had my heart broken
had my dreams blown away
it only took you a second
to rearrange my whole day
I use to know you
but now its over
and i see that now
you blew me away
far from here
and i couldnt make it back
but i bet you knew that
I use to know
someone like you
he was friendly
but i left him behind
in the rain
in the cold
where i couldnt see him
i hope you're different
it would help
if you werent exactly like him
nice to know you
but i must go
and protect my soul
how nice of you to stop by
but please go home now
I use to know you
but now im long gone
and it feels great'
to leave that burden behind
i wont see you again
i wont be there when you fall
just know that i
wont pick you up again
Book Cover
Thursday
Kyle is the worst boyfriend ever! The party ended with me in a coma. Apparently there was alcohol in my drink. I had an overdose and it almost killed me. Kyle swears he didn't do it. I want to believe him. I really want to. I know Kyle had done it because I know saw him poor something in there. At first I thought it was water or something to make it sweeter. It wasn't water. I couldn't go to school today because they were pumping the alcohol out of my system or something. I'm not entirely sure what happened. All I know is that for a couple if minutes I was pronounced dead. My heartbeat soon started thumping again but I was in a coma. My parents were so worried. I thought for sure they would be dead from shock. Kyle is banned from coming near me. My dad implied that rule. My mom kept crying whenever she talked to me. All she could manage to get out of her mouth besides whimpers were muffled words. I don't think I'll be seeing Kyle for a while now.
Kyle is the worst boyfriend ever! The party ended with me in a coma. Apparently there was alcohol in my drink. I had an overdose and it almost killed me. Kyle swears he didn't do it. I want to believe him. I really want to. I know Kyle had done it because I know saw him poor something in there. At first I thought it was water or something to make it sweeter. It wasn't water. I couldn't go to school today because they were pumping the alcohol out of my system or something. I'm not entirely sure what happened. All I know is that for a couple if minutes I was pronounced dead. My heartbeat soon started thumping again but I was in a coma. My parents were so worried. I thought for sure they would be dead from shock. Kyle is banned from coming near me. My dad implied that rule. My mom kept crying whenever she talked to me. All she could manage to get out of her mouth besides whimpers were muffled words. I don't think I'll be seeing Kyle for a while now.
What a change Such a dramatic change
Once I was small and ignored
Now I'm called when their bored
Or looking for a friend
To talk to till the end I use to be invisible
Now I feel invincible
They can't hurt me
Look at what I can be
This is new
Something almost true
That great feeling
Was somewhat appealing
But soon disappeared
Whenever I neared
Now I am small
No longer tall
Completely ignored
Always bored
It happened so fast Invisible in the past
Then became invincible
And immediately back to invisible
It changes everyday I don't know what to say
Maybe it won't stay the same
I'll be forever lame
Once I was small and ignored
Now I'm called when their bored
Or looking for a friend
To talk to till the end I use to be invisible
Now I feel invincible
They can't hurt me
Look at what I can be
This is new
Something almost true
That great feeling
Was somewhat appealing
But soon disappeared
Whenever I neared
Now I am small
No longer tall
Completely ignored
Always bored
It happened so fast Invisible in the past
Then became invincible
And immediately back to invisible
It changes everyday I don't know what to say
Maybe it won't stay the same
I'll be forever lame
Tuesday
The preps have got on my nerves for the last time. They decides to expose my crush on Kyle. How dare they? Who do they think they are? Their leader was like we all know that Laurie likes Kyle. U was all like please, I so don't. Then we got into this huge argument. Jennifer, L. J, and Tammie had my back though. Jennifer started trash talking their leader, Carly Louis, and they rest of her desperate followers. Kyle interjected and said that if I liked him then it wasn't any of their business. This is why I like the boy so much. After school when I was walking him from school, Kyle caught up with me. He told me that he thought those girls were cruel and should stay in their own business. I couldn't agree more. He whirled around suddenly and kissed me! I was utterly speechless. He started stuttering and then sprinted off in the other direction before I could say anything. Yep, that kiss was everything that I had imagined it would be but why do I feel like it was so wrong.
The preps have got on my nerves for the last time. They decides to expose my crush on Kyle. How dare they? Who do they think they are? Their leader was like we all know that Laurie likes Kyle. U was all like please, I so don't. Then we got into this huge argument. Jennifer, L. J, and Tammie had my back though. Jennifer started trash talking their leader, Carly Louis, and they rest of her desperate followers. Kyle interjected and said that if I liked him then it wasn't any of their business. This is why I like the boy so much. After school when I was walking him from school, Kyle caught up with me. He told me that he thought those girls were cruel and should stay in their own business. I couldn't agree more. He whirled around suddenly and kissed me! I was utterly speechless. He started stuttering and then sprinted off in the other direction before I could say anything. Yep, that kiss was everything that I had imagined it would be but why do I feel like it was so wrong.
