Chapter 30: It All Comes Together

“Wait Alice,” Rosalie interjected. She turned to me her brow furrowed in concern, “we need to go talk for a moment.” She took my hand and led me down the hallway to her room. We sat down on the bed that she never used, and she looked at me carefully. “I support your decision fully, but I want to know why you are so determined to go to your memorial service.” I looked at her blankly I couldn’t find the words to explain it. I needed closure. I needed to see if my father and sister even cared enough to show up, although part of me knew that they wouldn’t. Perhaps it was a final masochistic act that I desired before leaving my life as Sienna behind. How could I explain that to her without looking crazy? I looked down and had trouble finding my voice, I couldn’t meet her eyes. “I just need to know what happens… how it ends.” I finally looked into her eyes earnestly. “I have to know if they even care that I died.” She looked at me sorrowfully and wrapped me in a big hug. “I know you do, I just needed to hear it from you. I will do what I can to get you there. The family is concerned that you can’t control yourself around so many humans,” she took my shoulders in her and looked into my eyes seriously, “but I know you can.” Again I felt as though I didn’t have control over my thoughts or emotions, just like I did in the woods when she stated that I wouldn’t hurt her. I nodded in agreement, “I won’t let you down, I promise.” She looked at me with her head cocked to the side, “I know you won’t let me down Amore, there is nothing that you could ever do that would”. As she touched me I could hear her voice although her lips didn’t move, “I am just worried about who may let you down today.” I gasped and stepped back from her, “Did you just say something?” I asked her. She looked at me in alarm, “No, what’s wrong?” I calmed my breathing and chalked it up to nerves, “Oh, I thought I heard you say something.” I focused on my thoughts and turned back to her, “Now can I ask you a question?” She nodded patiently, “Why me? Why do you and Emmett want me?” She looked at me and a silvery laugh emanated from her throat, “What kind of question is that?” I looked at her somberly, “I’m serious what would make you want me you are both perfect.” She looked at me a hint of anger flashed through her eyes, “Amorita Esme Cullen that is the last that I want to hear of you speaking so poorly of yourself. I don’t care how long it takes but we are going to retrain your thought pattern. You are very special. I felt a connection with you instantly because both of our lives involved heartbreak and unhappiness, as well as our untimely ends.” She trailed off. I looked at her curiously; I couldn’t remember what had caused my death. Just as I was about to question it, she changed the subject, “It was meant to be, I needed a daughter I have desperately wanted to be a mother, and you deserve a mother. I know I’m not perfect but I will be there for you as much as I can. Don’t you understand that Emmett and I would do anything for you?” Her eyes frosted over and a look of agony passed through them and then she closed them as she spoke in a whisper, “The past few days were by far the worst in my entire existence. I was so worried about you; I couldn’t leave your side. I feel horrible and cannot believe I am admitting this but I owe Seth a huge apology. I was horrible to him.” Choking sobs started to form as she attempted to get the rest of her confession out, “I blamed him for what happened to you, but it was my fault. I should have been watching you. How am I going to be your mother, I couldn’t even protect you.” She broke down and I put my arms around her, “Sh, its ok. I looked at her; whatever happened to me wasn’t anybody’s fault”. She looked into my eyes doubtfully, “You are going to be a wonderful mother and I am so grateful that you want me, I will try to be a good daughter.” She looked at me and smiled through her heartache and kissed my cheek. She took a deep breath and looked at me, “How about we make a deal. Today is the last day that either of us can dwell on our pasts. After today the past is just that and we move forward together.” She held out her hand with a hopeful look on her face, “We will move on and get through this together,” she said firmly. I smiled at her and took her hand. Again I heard her voice without seeing her lips move, “I don’t deserve her, I hope that I can be a good mom and do right by her,” I gasped and dropped her hand and put my hand to my head. She looked alarmed, “What’s the matter?” I shook my head at her, “I’m not sure but I swear I heard you talking again.” She looked at me curiously. She raised an eyebrow, “what did you hear both times?” I told her, “The first time you said something about worrying about who would let me down today and this time you doubted yourself as a mother.” She looked at me her eyes widened and her face became even paler than normal. “Amore, those were my thoughts, you heard my thoughts.” I looked at her in shock. She helped me up from the bed, “Come on, let’s go talk to Alice and get you ready so that we can find Carlisle.” I stopped her, “Wait, listen to me you need to believe in yourself you will be a wonderful mother to me I know it.” She smiled at me and squeezed my hand as she led me down the hall to the bathroom where Alice was waiting.
She was tapping her foot on the ground in annoyance. “I was going to come and get you but then I saw that you would be coming any minute. Come on sit down we have a lot of work to do!” Rosalie ran up to her still gripping my hand, “Alice I think that she has the ability to read minds. Alice looked at me in surprise, “What?” Rosalie recounted everything that happened while we were talking in her room and her mouth opened wide. Suddenly, my mind started to wander the walls seemed to stretch and disappear and then I was in the school auditorium. I was standing in the back row with Rosalie and Emmett in the shadows no one noticed us. There was a large picture of me on a projector screen behind a make shift stage. Students filled the bleachers, I could see Nessie, Jake and Seth, and they looked horrible. I could hear Mr. Banner speaking about how I was a good student and that I was too young and would be missed. I looked for my father and sister but didn’t see them. I felt as though I was choking and suddenly I was back in the bathroom on the floor while Rosalie held my hand, her face a mask of foreboding. Suddenly Alice ran back into the bathroom with everyone behind her. Carlisle came up to me first, “Amore, can you sit up?” He asked gently. I looked at him in confusion as I thought, “Sit up? What does that mean?” He carefully helped me up. Rosalie continued to look at me in shock, “I saw everything,” she said in astonishment. Emmett went to her side, “What happened, baby?” She looked at me in wonder, “I was holding Amore’s hand and she saw what would happen at the memorial. She saw a teacher speaking about her; she even saw Nessie, Seth and Jake.” She looked at Emmett, “and we were there with her. It was ok; nothing happened we were in the shadows. Nobody even noticed us”. She looked at me in concern, “they weren’t there, were they?” She whispered. I squeezed my eyes shut willing the dizziness to melt away. I felt her arms around me, “if you don’t want to go we don’t have to,”she told me lovingly. Carlisle looked at Alice and then looked back to me, “I think that you have some powers that we need to figure out young lady, “ he said with a glittering smile. Emmett nudged my arm, “this is what Carlisle lives for,” he said. Alice looked at me in wonder, “So you can share your visions?” I shrugged at her and she placed her hand on me comfortingly, “It is a little scary at first but I will help you as much as I can, do not be afraid.” Suddenly I heard her voice in my head, “Wow, I can’t believe she can project visions that is amazing I hope she can teach me how that would save me a lot of time!” I giggled and she looked at me curiously. I smiled at her, “I would be glad to try,” her mouth hit the floor. “Did you just hear my thought?” I nodded and Carlisle smiled even bigger. “My, my, what a powerful little one she is.” Nessie’s dad came up to Emmett and smacked his back playfully, “you know how you teased me when Nessie gained her strength?” Emmett hooted with laughter, “You mean when she almost crushed you with a tree?” Nessie’s father put his arm around him and laughed too, “Yea,” he started laughing even harder, “now your kid is a mind-reader who can see the future on top of having newborn strength,” he was laughing so hard he could hardly breathe, “Good luck with that.” Emmett slowly stopped laughing and looked at me cautiously. I laughed at them and shook my head. Rosalie broke it up and helped me to my feet, “Alright you two go taunt each other somewhere else.” She looked at me gravely, “you still want to do this, don’t you?” I nodded. She turned to Alice. Do you see any problems? Alice’s gaze drifted for a few moments it seemed as though were completely absent from her body. I wondered if that was how I looked when it happened to me. She slowly came back smiling at me. “It will be fine, you will look amazing of course,” Rosalie rolled her eyes, “Alice…” Alice smiled and continued, “Everything will be fine, just stay in the back like you saw in your vision and no one will even notice.” She turned to the crowd that was gathered in her bathroom, “Ok all guys out, Bella and Esme you can stay.” The guys filtered out and Bella cam up to me with another cup of blood. She smiled at me kindly, “we could be here for awhile, and I thought that this might help.” I smiled at her thoughtfulness. She touched my arm and I heard her thoughts. “I’m not one for emotional scenarios but I want to thank you for being there for my daughter I am so happy that you are part of this family. Thank you for being there for Rose and Emmett too, you have no idea how important you are to them.” I smiled at her and nodded as I took the cup, “Thank you,” I said shyly. She patted my arm and stepped back so that Alice could get to work.
It was kind of sad to completely change who I was. I understood the necessity, but it was making my death even more real. I guess it was symbolic, I was closing the chapter on one life and beginning another. First Alice died my hair black. Black of all colors! Then she added extensions to my petite tresses. “We can change this later on if you prefer it short, but for now it is crucial that you look completely different”. It took forever to do the extensions, I was grateful for the cups of blood that Nessie’s mom kept bringing me, each time she would touch my hand and offer me a bit of silent encouragement that only I could hear. When she was finished she looked at me with satisfaction beaming from her pretty face, “Now for the contacts and make up, then we will get you dressed and you will be ready. She gave me a pair of golden contacts that I slipped on awkwardly I had never worn contacts before. Oddly enough I didn’t need a mirror, which was handy because it was forbidden for me to look inth e mirror before I was finished. “Come on Alice,” Rosalie pleaded, “just let her watch.” Alice set her jaw firmly, “no, it is bad luck for an artist’s painting to be viewed before completion.” Bella chuckled, “ok Van Gogh.” Alice playfully whipped a brush at her that she caught without even looking. Alice finished up by doing my nails red. She applied my make up with the skill of an artist and then once my nails were dry she led me into a bedroom. “This is Edward’s old room but for now it is yours”. There were clothes lying on the leather couch she guided me towards it. “Here you go get dressed and then meet me back in the bathroom for the unveiling,” she squealed and then left the room. I was never one for make up and girly things but I was kind of excited to see how I would look. I appraised the clothes that Alice had selected for me and groaned. A black mini skirt with a cropped leather jacket and black shirt with a pair of black boots, I hesitantly put it on and slowly walked back to the bathroom. Esme, Rosalie, and Bella all gasped when I walked in Alice stood there smiling she knew that she had done an amazing job. She led me to the mirror and I froze in place. The girl who stared back was hauntingly beautiful. She had long and lustrous black hair that waved and curled out at the ends. Her skin was a milky white and her topaz eyes were catlike (I smiled to myself at least the shape of my eyes was similar). When she smiled her whole face lit up and her pouty lips revealed a set of perfectly straight and gleaming white teeth. She was impeccably dressed. All of a sudden I had a flashback of a dream. A dream that seemed to have happened a lifetime ago only though it was only a month or so ago. It was a murky human memory at this point, but I slowly realized that I was looking into the face of the girl in my dreams and drawings. I started to get dizzy, I felt hands grab me in every direction before I went down. “What is it?” Rose asked me. “I was having visions even as a human. I had dreams of a girl with black hair, I drew her.” Alice looked at me with a small smile, “I’m not surprised. You see Carlisle believes that our powers are based on the strengths that we had as humans, they are carried over and become dominant.” I stood there in awe. Rosalie looked at me worriedly, “Maybe we should stay home this is just so much at once for you to deal with,” I shook my head, “I have to do this,” I whispered. She nodded her consent, “Ok I will be with you the whole time”, she smiled “you look absolutely stunning.” I smiled back. She took my hand as we all walked downstairs. The room fell silent as I walked in. Emmett looked at me his eyes wide, almost like he had seen a ghost. “What is wrong?” I asked him. He didn’t say anything but walked away. Rosalie went after him they walked outside and spoke quietly I looked to Bella in confusion and Edward stepped up, you just reminded him of his little sister.” I looked at him in awe, “you mean Alice?” He shook his head, “no his human sister, she died from small pox at a young age.” “Oh,” I looked down quietly. Alice looked upset, “I didn’t mean to…” Edward comforted her, “it’s alright. He will be fine.” I turned towards the door and went after my new parents. They were standing outside looking at each other I walked up to Emmett, “I am sorry if I upset you,” I started. He looked at me kindly, “you didn’t do anything wrong. I was just surprised at how much you looked like her...” he trailed off, “your sister?” I asked. He nodded. Rosalie looked at him anxiously, “should we change the hair color?” He shook his head and smiled at me as he gingerly touched my hair, “no, she is perfect the way that she is, it is not an unpleasant reminder.” I walked over to him and hugged him, “I am sorry about your sister,” I told him. Rosalie put her arms around the both of us, “it seems that all three of us need to let go of human heartache.” Emmett looked down at me in concern, “are you sure you want to go through with this Amore?” I nodded and he smiled at me, “Well then let’s get going, you don’t want to be late for your own funeral.” I snickered at his dark joke as Emmett held us both tighter and led us back into the house. At that moment I felt more connected to them than I had to my family in my human life. I knew that we would make it through anything.