10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent.

9. Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.

8. Ask if blondes really do have more fun.

7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.

6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France.

5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”.

4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death?

3. Leap out from behind the desk in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.

2. Call him McSteamy or McDreamy.

And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?

1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!”