capter one!!!


i flicked off the light, and prayed that when i shut the door that it wouldnt wake her up. i steped out of the room, taking one more glance at my addition to my complete life.
she was soo little, so young and yet so innocent to the world around her, so unaware to the creaters that surivive just outside her room, and i tend to keep it like that until the time is right.like of her father.
of only 5 weeks of age. and already made her perfect smile, and wow she looked like her dad.
the brown soft, russet colour tone, and the brown eyes,. the spitting image.
i smiled once more and closed the door. 5 , 4, 3,2,1
and her cry filled the house, a flush of exhusgin flowed through my body, time to go back in there, and try again. until jacob, unawre he was there the whole time , stops me,not hard to do when your a mythical creature , wrapping his hands around my waist,and kissing my cheek softly,my mouths bends down to my ear and whispers
"its my turn now, you go take a break,"
the way he whispered in my ear, reminded me the old times when HE used to do that with such gentleness, but i must not think of that, and at the insant i could feel jacob go lose and breath deeply, as though he had just read my mind,
you know sometimes i think he knows that when i look at him, i see another face looking back at me.
i sighed. when he knew, i feel the guilt,
why can't i be a normal married woman, one that only thinks of her beautful husband and no other.
cant my big hole on my heart heal already, you'd think by now they be scars. but they still sting and pound.
the wife that loved them from the first moment of when you wake up to the moment to dift to sleep.
he left my side and walked towards her, with his eyes to the floor, her cries still continued. i stopped and watched. the second he cradled her in his large hands, she stilled,
like he was all she wanted.
the bond they had already was beautiful.
i left, not being able to shake the thought of him out of my head.
stop bella, thats enough, but that diddnt stop it.
and then i thought , what the hell, ill sufffer the consequences of this mistake later.
i was like a drug addict , wanting a fix.
a fix of him.
What would he say if he saw her? what would he say if he saw me with jacob.
what would he do , if he saw me?
what would i do if i saw him?
is he happy, with his choice?
at that moment the clear memory of the last time we were together come back to me, it broke through the gates and hinges and bolts in my head,
"it will be like i never excisted", still remebering his soft velevet voice as though he had just said it now.
what would i give to jsut look at him one more time.
but that was 3 years ago. i bet his has already found his distraction by now, but why would a beautiful, talented, vampire want out of a boring, plain human anyway,? i dont think he really need a distraction to forget about me.
i jumped out of my lala land in the insant as i heard the closing of the door, in the hall. i cant be seen like this, he will know, and will hurt him even more.
everytime it kills him more inside. im fake.
i put on my smile routine, making it look like all his worries were for nothing, and start pacing slowly towards him,
" Tanna is asleep."he breathed
he braced his arms out to me, in gester.
how could i not, he was my sun.
i leaned in , the smell, from his skin, surrounded me . and left me in bliss, blinded. making me forget, everything. he groaned, and pushed me from his body and took my hand leading me to our white room.