Have you ever loved somebody so much, but you know you couldn't tell them? Have you ever felt like it would ruin what you already have together? It would just ruin your life? You just want to scream, "I love you, I always have, and I always will!" everytime you're with that person? I do. I do all the time. I've known this person forever.
He's my brother. Yes. I am in love with my brother. I always have. I always will. I realized my crush when my friends pointed out how cute he was back in seventh grade. I thought, "Eww!" at first. But I soon realized they were right. He was cuter than Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, every single boy I've met. I can never tell him. I settle as being his little sister because that's all we can be. It's just wrong to love your brother in that way. I know it. But I can't stop. Not even four years later, when I am a junior and he is a senior.
My name is Jane Volturi and I am in love with my brother.
"Wake up!" shouted my mom. "Kids! You're going to be late!" I've hated going to high school. All those days of pointless work, which I will forget once I get home. Waking up early. All those days I spent going to school when I could've spent it talking to my brother. Alec Volturi.
I stretched out my arms but hit something, hard. "Woah!" I said and I slipped off the bed. I looked over to see Alec sprawled over my bed with his arms and legs outstretch. I startled him and he started to wake up.
"Oh. Hey Jane." he smiled down at me and held his hand for me to take. I ignored it and stood up.
"Will you tell me why you are sleeping in my bed?" I asked. Not that I was complaining. Not like I was ever going to admit that to him.
"Well last night we were listening to the new songs I downloaded on my iPod but I guess I fell asleep." He was scratching the back of his head. His beautiful hair was messy.
"Oh..." I said, embarassed. What was I thinking? I wondered. Nothing would've happened. "Okay now it's time to get dressed. Goodbye." I tried to push him out of the room but failed.
"Okay, I see where I'm not wanted." He walked out. "I'll be waiting downstairs." He went to his own room to get dressed.
"I love you..." I whispered so quietly as I closed the door. Every time he leaves and I am alone, I will whisper it. Even if I can't scream it to him, I can still show my love. I sighed. It was so hard to be me.
I quickly changed into the uniform that we were assigned to wear. The logo was my school name, Italy High School and our mascot, a hawk. The school colours were red, white, or green, the colour of our flag.
I ran a brush through my hair quickly. I brushed my teeth. I looked in the mirror and smiled. I wasn't ugly. I have blonde hair, but my face looks so angelic and childish. Many adults think I'm an angel, which I am at times. But I did have anger management.
I ran downstairs to see Alec eating Cheerios. He looked so adorable when he was eating! When he was doing anything he looked cute.
"Eat faster!" I said. He drank down the rest of his milk and used the back of his hand to wipe off his milk mustache. Even if we all had to wear the same ugly uniforms, it's obvious that Alec pulls it off the best.
"Let's go." He put his dishes in the sink and grabbed his keys. "We're going mom!" He got his backpack from the staircase.
"Okay! See you sweetie!" She was probably doing her sewing work in the basement, as usual. She was the person who designed our school uniforms, which I kept telling her was ugly. Or well wanted to tell her but never got the guts. She's really sensitive about her work.
We walked into Alec's silver Acura. He got it after achieving such high marks on his report card. He was always more popular, always more smarter than I was. He was going to get into the university of his choice, which is really far away. I'm sure of it. I'm going to miss it after this year. It would be the worst without Alec.
"How'd you like the new songs?" he asked, interrupting my thoughts. I looked over at him and he was half smiling.
"Yeah. They were awesome." I said mindlessly. Actually I had forgot all the songs. "My favourite was the one by the singer from Italy." We had a thing for Italy singers. We love Italian songs.
"Actually I don't have any by Italian singers." He laughed. He knew I didn't remember. "Do you still want to hear them later?" he asked. I nodded. More time to spend with Alec.
He turned on the radio and turned to our favourite station, the Italian one.
We sang along, him in his magical voice. Later our favourite song came on. We smiled as we sang. I saw a load of people in front of us. Because if was so hot today, a lot of them had their windows down. I sang even louder and in a squealy voice just to annoy them.
Not long later, we got to school. We got out of the car and walked over to our friends. Everybody likes Alec more than me. They always hang out with him more. We have some of the same friends though. He has more and he likes to hang out with everybody. It's not that often that we are hanging out in the same friends' group.
"Hey guys." greeted Alec when we got there. They greeted us back. My group of friends were just the normal group of friends. There is Aro who is a senior and dating Sulpicia who is also a senior. Caius is a senior, dating Athenodora who is a senior. Marcus is a senior. He used to date Didyme, who is Aro's little sister before she moved with her dad to Washington. They got a divorce last year. Those five are basically the most popular in the school.
Chelsea is a junior in many of my classes. Afton is her boyfriend who is a senior. Corin is a junior who is also in many of my classes. Demetri is a senior who is also Alec's best friend. Felix is Demetri's brother. Heidi is my best friend's cousin, who is a senior. She is in many of Alec's classes, which is good because we are both great friends with her. Renata is my best friend. She's a junior. Santiago is my cousin. He is the only sophmore but we still love him.
The bell rang a few minutes later. "Come on Chelsea." She is in my homeroom. We walked over to our lockers.
"So are you asking any body to the Christmas dance?" asked Chelsea as we were walking to our class. I shook my head. I will not admit to her that I really want to ask Alec. "Well you really should. Everybody will be there! Maybe you should ask Marcus. He seems really lonely lately." I looked at her in a 'are you kidding' type of way.
"I'd rather not." I said. I didn't want to ask Marcus. And it's not only because I want to ask Alec (which would freak people out), but also because I didn't really like Marcus that way. He hadn't connected with us much since Didyme left.
"Well I'm taking Afton. He is going to take me to dinner then we are heading over. It's going to be amazing!" she said. "Hey do you want to be on the planning committee?" She was on the school concil and she planned a lot of things. I rolled my eyes. She knew I couldn't plan anything sappy since I never had a boyfriend before. Not even a kiss. Not even a date.
"Oh you need to be more social. Your planning it with me!" She grabbed my arm and dragged me to the sign-up sheet. This was going to be horrible. Chelsea won't let me put anything evil. She just won't.