Oh boy, now it’s time to get to a real treasure. Today is the fourth day of Christmas, and today’s movie is a… real mess. Back in the good old days of the 90s when being a homosexual was the worse than being a murderer, Hollywood needed to create a horror movie, because the most popular horror movie out around that time was Aliens: Resurrection… Yeah. So, I guess that this movie would easily dominate the horror movies that year, and it shows, because this movie was made on a small budget, and didn’t even get that back. Is this movie a lost gem and should get more attention- No…….. Jack Frost, everybody.
Now, let’s not get confused with the 1998 movie. That one is WAY more terrifying than the snowman in this movie. Seriously, the what was it with the 90s and having scary snowmen. Anyway, Jack Frost (The 1997 version, anyway), takes place in a town around… I think it’s Christmas. I don’t know. It’s not really explained much. Well, whatever. It starts with a serial killer, Jack Frost (Yes, that is his name), being taken to his execution. However, due to the weather, and because a conveniently placed truck of radioactive acid comes by, it crashes into the prison truck, sprays Jack with the acid, and melts him into the snow, causing him to fuse with it. Now, Jack Frost is back as a murderous snowman and goes around murdering people while he hunts for Sheriff Sam Tiler, who was the one responsible for Jack Frost’s capture, and must now protect the town as murders committed by Jack Frost begin popping up across the town. It’s just another generic slasher Christmas movie. It seems that this is the most common kind of Christmas horror movie. Just another slasher movie. But it’s okay, because this one is with a killer snowman. So, is it any better?
Well, as you can see from the cover, Jack Frost (I’m assuming that’s Jack Frost, anyway) looks ugly as sin. But I don’t judge a book or DVD case by it’s cover… I mean, if I did, I wouldn’t have watched this trainwreck. Well, the scene where Jack Frost gets his flesh burned off looks pretty okay… As okay as watching a person’s flesh melt off is. I can at least say that it’s off to a good start. So, how’s Jack Frost in Snowman form? Well, if you ever wanted to laugh your ass off more than ever before, than don’t you worry, because Jack Frost’s snowman form is just terrible. At least Elves put in the effort to make a puppet. Jack Frost looks just like a store bought Snowman prop that they just put moving eyebrows on. His movement is so limited that you can just feel the fakeness in it. Seriously, his arm moves like an animatronic. In fact, I think the snowman “puppet” is even more limited. And how are the special effects for all the kills. Well, just like in Silent Night, Deadly Night, there’s a scene where a kid gets decapitated while sledding. Only instead of a man as Santa cutting his head off with an axe, this has a snowman using the sled to decapitate him. Seriously? The rest of the kills are pretty silly. Jack Frost has an axe. What does he do with the axe? Hit the guy in the head with it? No, that’s overrated. Instead, he shoves the handle down his throat. I am not making this shit up. Oh, and then there’s the rape scene in the shower that you probably know this movie for. There is a scene where a killer snowman rapes a woman in the shower, and it’s meant to be scary… How am I supposed to take something like THAT seriously?!
Oh, I almost forgot to say, Jack Frost is also a wise cracking killer who swears a lot and never shuts up when he kills people, always making really bad puns…. Oh shit! It’s a Child’s Play ripoff. What is it with every single low budget slasher movie villain trying to by Chucky and Child’s Play. It seems to be like that with every movie. I don’t know why, but so many do it that it just gets old after a while. The rest of the critique I have with this movie is just what you’d expect. Bad camera work that always has extreme close ups on Jack Frost to look scary, people either overreacting or not even trying in the slightest, very poor special effects. The murder scenes after seem to get lower and lower in cost as the movie goes on. You can just see the budget for this movie getting smaller and smaller with each new scene of someone getting killed. Seriously, these effects and camera works look worse than my high school film project, and even that’s being nice. If I had to give one thing in this movie credit, the idea of Jack Frost being able to melt and reform himself at will is kind of a cool idea. I’ll give the movie that. Good job, movie. You did one thing right.
Jack Frost is probably the best worst movie of the 12 Days of Christmassacre so far. It does so much wrong in so many ways, that it comes off as being so damn funny. The bad puns, the terrible effects, the poor acting. So much wrong went into this movie and I love it so damn much. It’s more of a broken relationship kind of love though. And I can’t be the only one, since this movie got a sequel three years later where Jack Frost goes to the cabana. If there was a third movie, I bet he would be in space or something stupid. Though, I guess he was Jason Voorhees leven of popular, so he lost that chance. Take care.