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Oh boy, now it’s time to get to a real treasure. Today is the fourth day of Christmas, and today’s movie is a… real mess. Back in the good old days of the 90s when being a homosexual was the worse than being a murderer, Hollywood needed to create a horror movie, because the most popular horror movie out around that time was Aliens: Resurrection… Yeah. So, I guess that this movie would easily dominate the horror movies that year, and it shows, because this movie was made on a small budget, and didn’t even get that back. Is this movie a lost gem and should get more attention- No…….. Jack Frost, everybody.



Now, let’s not get confused with the 1998 movie. That one is WAY more terrifying than the snowman in this movie. Seriously, the what was it with the 90s and having scary snowmen. Anyway, Jack Frost (The 1997 version, anyway), takes place in a town around… I think it’s Christmas. I don’t know. It’s not really explained much. Well, whatever. It starts with a serial killer, Jack Frost (Yes, that is his name), being taken to his execution. However, due to the weather, and because a conveniently placed truck of radioactive acid comes by, it crashes into the prison truck, sprays Jack with the acid, and melts him into the snow, causing him to fuse with it. Now, Jack Frost is back as a murderous snowman and goes around murdering people while he hunts for Sheriff Sam Tiler, who was the one responsible for Jack Frost’s capture, and must now protect the town as murders committed by Jack Frost begin popping up across the town. It’s just another generic slasher Christmas movie. It seems that this is the most common kind of Christmas horror movie. Just another slasher movie. But it’s okay, because this one is with a killer snowman. So, is it any better?



Well, as you can see from the cover, Jack Frost (I’m assuming that’s Jack Frost, anyway) looks ugly as sin. But I don’t judge a book or DVD case by it’s cover… I mean, if I did, I wouldn’t have watched this trainwreck. Well, the scene where Jack Frost gets his flesh burned off looks pretty okay… As okay as watching a person’s flesh melt off is. I can at least say that it’s off to a good start. So, how’s Jack Frost in Snowman form? Well, if you ever wanted to laugh your ass off more than ever before, than don’t you worry, because Jack Frost’s snowman form is just terrible. At least Elves put in the effort to make a puppet. Jack Frost looks just like a store bought Snowman prop that they just put moving eyebrows on. His movement is so limited that you can just feel the fakeness in it. Seriously, his arm moves like an animatronic. In fact, I think the snowman “puppet” is even more limited. And how are the special effects for all the kills. Well, just like in Silent Night, Deadly Night, there’s a scene where a kid gets decapitated while sledding. Only instead of a man as Santa cutting his head off with an axe, this has a snowman using the sled to decapitate him. Seriously? The rest of the kills are pretty silly. Jack Frost has an axe. What does he do with the axe? Hit the guy in the head with it? No, that’s overrated. Instead, he shoves the handle down his throat. I am not making this shit up. Oh, and then there’s the rape scene in the shower that you probably know this movie for. There is a scene where a killer snowman rapes a woman in the shower, and it’s meant to be scary… How am I supposed to take something like THAT seriously?!



Oh, I almost forgot to say, Jack Frost is also a wise cracking killer who swears a lot and never shuts up when he kills people, always making really bad puns…. Oh shit! It’s a Child’s Play ripoff. What is it with every single low budget slasher movie villain trying to by Chucky and Child’s Play. It seems to be like that with every movie. I don’t know why, but so many do it that it just gets old after a while. The rest of the critique I have with this movie is just what you’d expect. Bad camera work that always has extreme close ups on Jack Frost to look scary, people either overreacting or not even trying in the slightest, very poor special effects. The murder scenes after seem to get lower and lower in cost as the movie goes on. You can just see the budget for this movie getting smaller and smaller with each new scene of someone getting killed. Seriously, these effects and camera works look worse than my high school film project, and even that’s being nice. If I had to give one thing in this movie credit, the idea of Jack Frost being able to melt and reform himself at will is kind of a cool idea. I’ll give the movie that. Good job, movie. You did one thing right.



Jack Frost is probably the best worst movie of the 12 Days of Christmassacre so far. It does so much wrong in so many ways, that it comes off as being so damn funny. The bad puns, the terrible effects, the poor acting. So much wrong went into this movie and I love it so damn much. It’s more of a broken relationship kind of love though. And I can’t be the only one, since this movie got a sequel three years later where Jack Frost goes to the cabana. If there was a third movie, I bet he would be in space or something stupid. Though, I guess he was Jason Voorhees leven of popular, so he lost that chance. Take care.

posted by Windwakerguy430
~Story~

In the year 1927, there is a small island town in New York named Fox Hill. The only other contact the island has is a long bridge connected to the rest of America. However, the town had a small population, due to the town being run by a dangerous gang known as Steam Knuckle a gang filled with steam powered robot mobsters ran by one single mysterious man known as The Boss. During the night of February 11th, The Steam Knuckles began an attack across Fox Hill, attacking police stations and taking over city hall. They had then blown up the bridge connecting the city to the rest of the world....
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It took me THIS long to realize it? Wow Jared. -___-

ANYWAYS, I finished another fantastic anime the other day and it finally came to my head. A question that haunts almost EVERY single anime and it really makes me wonder why they do it so damn often.

Why are SO many anime in schools!?

And now, rant time. :)

SERIOUSLY, WHY OF ALL THE PLACES YOU COULD GO TO WOULD YOU PICK A CLASSROOM TO SHOW YOUR ANIME IN!?

JUST THINK OF ALL THE POSSIBILITIES YOU COULD CHOOSE FOR A LOCATION!

HELL! UNDERGROUND! IN SPACE!

JIFUGWSDBILFGSFKJGWFKLSJWFHFIUSBFBWSFNHLWFN

A FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL! ^____^

NO! NO!

I mean, it doesn't...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Wind: (Walks through a city, hearing about all sorts of crimes like murder, and robbery, and kidnapping) Just another day in the city.
Teens: (Talking with each other and laughing) And so I said to him “N***er, f**k you, and I’m white, so it was funny (Other’s laugh) And then I called him gay. The ultimate insult
Wind: God, this world is filled with a bunch of idiots. Everywhere I go, some stupid high school student is going around, talking about homosexuality, the male reproductive organ, or insulting African American culture so badly, that the Klan would think that their race is really...
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Now, what is a guilty pleasure film? Well, it’s those movies that is hated, weather by fans, critics, or the world in general, but you just can’t help but love. So, today, I will be talking about my ten guilty pleasure movies. Now, MY guilty pleasures may be different from YOUR guilty pleasures, so please, don’t try and insult me because of the choices on this list. Now, with that said, lets start the list



#10: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines - After the epic Terminators 1 and 2, fans were hyped for the next one in the series… And they ended up hating it. They said that it wasn’t...
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Now, every Zelda game has one or two characters that you can interact with. However, there are those characters that you just want to stay away from at all time. Now, remember, this is only my opinion. If you like these characters, then that’s just difference of opinion. With that, lets start the list

Fi
Fi


#10: Fi from Skyward Sword - Now, Fi is lower on the list because she tries to help you. However, she can help a bit too much at times. Whenever the blantient obvious happens, like when you pick up a rupee or are fighting enemies, she will always come and give you advice that you already...
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Now, there are lots of weapons in video games. Swords, axes, guns, and many more. But, does anyone here think of Chainsaws the very second they hear about video game weapons? Not really. So, today, I am going to talk about the Chainsaw Wielders in video games. The rules are as usual. Only one game per franchise. Now, lets start the list

Antonio Montana
Antonio Montana


#10: Antonio Montana from Scarface: The World is Yours - Now, I know that Tony is a movie character, and not a video game character. But, this video game’s first mission is the last scene in the movie… and it has a fucking tiger in this...
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Now, I am just gonna put it out there. I am not a fan of WWE. Sorry, but I’m not. All I see when I watch it are some guys beating each other up for peoples entertainment. It’s like Roman gladiators… but with a lot less death. But, I am a fan of Harry Potter… the books anyway. Never got around to watching the movies, and I only read the books. They were great books that had great characters and weaved a good story. But, well, you wanna know why I hate crossovers. Because of shit like this. Harry Potter Joins the WWE… Great. Also, the author states that this story is fiction. Oh, that’s...
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Now, a while back, I made a list about some of the most disturbing things in the media. It was pretty messed up, but, then I looked into it…. and there are EVEN MORE disturbing things in the world. So, I am going to talk about some of the more disturbing things in the media, by what I have seen at least.

#10: Lavender Town from Pokemon Red/Blue - Now, when you think of Pokemon, you think of- No, wait, Pokemon is well known for having some of the creepiest shit this side of Hannibal Lector. From houses with a little girl who was murdered by a Darkrai, to Pokemon that suck the life force out...
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Now, what is the difference between hard and annoying. Hard is a challenge that makes you test your abilities, giving you a very difficult enemy. Annoying is when an enemy spams attacks, won't die, or is just plane broken. So, today, I will be talking about the enemies in video games that just irritate me the most. First, the rules. Only one game per franchise, and only games that I have played. So, now that that is out of the way, lets begin.

Zubat
Zubat


#15: Zubat from Pokemon - Now, sure, these things are really easy to beat, especially when your Pokemon are at a high level, but, what isn't...
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Okay, now, there are a lot of disturbing things out there. I mean REALLY disturbing. Like, these are just so screwed up in so many ways, that it makes you wonder, how these things can exist…. well, they do, and here, I am going to talk about the things that disturb me the most…. Oh, fuck my life with a rusty spoon.

#10: Pokemon “Electric Soldier Porygon” - Now, if you’re a Pokemon fan, like myself, you will already know about THIS episode. This was an episode that only aired once in Japan. The episode was about where Ash and the gang get sucked into a computer under attack by a Porygon,...
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Link: Oh, fucking finally. I thought we'd never get off that piece of shit island.
Tetra: Yeah, I mean, what kind of rewards were that
Link: Glad you see it my way
Tetra: And all it took was your constant bitching to convince me so it would shut you the hell up
Link: It's not bitching, it's complaining
Tetra: Whatever, there is the next island
Link: Isn't that the Forsaken Fortress
Tetra: Yeah, so what
Link: Isn't there like, hundreds of monsters, there
Tetra: Yeah, but you have a sword
Link: Hmm. Good point. So, what do I need to do
Tetra: Just fight some ghost to the death
Link: Can, and most certainly,...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Chuck: (In monitor room)
Stacey: (Sees group of soldiers on monitor) Chuck look at this
Chuck: (Looks at monitor) Oh my god
Stacey: Those guys must be a lead to what ha-
Chuck: Those guys are trespassing. I'm gonna go teach them some manners
Stacey: Chuck, that's not what I me- (Chuck runs off) Oh, why do I even bother
(Later, Underground)
Chuck: (Hides behind wall) Okay, I just need to be quiet and-
TK: (Comes by train) Okay, is everything ready
Chuck: (GASP) (Runs out of hiding spot) P DIDDY! It's me. Chuck
TK: Oh, god, it's Chuck. What are you doing here
Chuck: I'm here to get you out of here before...
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So, there was this one downloadable game for XBox 360 and Playstation 3 known as Scott Pilgrim VS The World. And it KICKS ASS!
Scott Pilgrim is a game based off the graphic novel with the same name. The game takes place in Toronto, Canada, which is cold, people beat each other up, and there are hipsters everywhere. I really hope that last one is just a lie. Anyway, it is about Scott Pilgrim, a simple guy, who falls in love with a girl named Ramona Flowers. However, the only way they can be together is if Scott defeats her seven evil ex-boyfriends, which include a skateboarding actor, a superpowered...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Episode 2: The Mask Man



January 16th 12:39 PM Sparklin’s Jewelry Shop

The jewel shop was closed at night, as most of the shops in London were. It was a calm night. The security guard, Anderson, was walking around the building. He was given night watch duty. Something that never bothered him until the murder case back a week ago. He was worried that some psychotic killer would come and drain him of his blood. He made sure to carry a fully loaded revolver with him unlike many other times. As he walked around the shop, he felt a calm breeze blow through the shop. Anderson looked up, and saw a...
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Now, this is a story about the cursed Sonic game, and how it became one of the most famous cursed games ever..... Why, I have no gucking clue. Honestly, Sonic.EXE is a pisspoor story.
It starts with this guy, will call him Stupid, because that's exactly what he is, who gets a Sonic game called Sonic.EXE, which he got from his friend, and he says to not play it. Then why the hell did you send him the damn game.
Anyway, he starts the game up, and it shows the logo with Sonic having red eyes, the water turns blood red and the Sega logo at the bottom says "Sega 6 6 6".... And this sucks, because...
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PATRIOT SPOOF (uncensored):


CHAPTER 1:

Joining the American revolution of 1776.

Benjamin Martin, a veteran of the French and Indian war is still not yet involved in the warfare against England.

Partically due to his wife being dead, and it's up to him alone to take care of his seven childrun.

Benjamin himself was found in a barn, trying to make a rocking chair, he finally seemed to have one, but it broke.

Benjamin lost his temper and threw it away in anger, revealing twenty other failed tries also, but when he saw one of his small childrun watching, he calmed himself down, probably not wanting...
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For those of you that own a Playstation, I'm sure you know of the PS mascot Klonoa. It is an amazing franchise. However, there is a fanfic that is so poorly written, I think it is right up there on bad Creepypastas such as The Kill Waker and Jeff the Killer. That fanfic is Klonoa's Darker Side.
So, it starts with the main character giving the game to his friend to borrow. Soon after, he gets the game back. However, there is one problem with the Klonoa game. It has been cursed. Guess how this happened........ His best friend cursed the game. How? I don't fucking know. The story never explains...
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King of Red Loins: And here it is, The Great Bay Isla- OH MY GOD (Sees destroyed Island)
Link: ........ You sure it ain't Detroit Island
King of Red Lions: What happened
Postman: Link, I for some reason saw what happened. You see a dark storm came and kick this islands ass.... Well, if island's had asses, I'm sure the storm would have kicked it. Anyway, Jabu Jabu was able to escape
Link: Wait, Jabu Jabu is still alive
Postman: Yep
Link: Who else is alive. Huh. Gorons? Zoras? Those weird things from Ikana Canyon. You know what, screw it, I wont question the goddamn world of this place
Postman. Well,...
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Hello everyone, and today, we will be talking about the memes from the hit show, and one of my favorite shows, My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic.
Now, what can be said about this show. It's amazing. But, how did it get so many memes. Well, come along, lets find out, everypony....... I hope you all enjoyed me saying everypony, because I am never going to say it again.
So, the show started in October 2010. MLP was created by Lauren Faust, mostly known for her other great works like Powerpuff Girls and Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends, so, its no wonder why this show is amazing. Of course, the...
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Hello everyone, I am your host, Windwakerguy430, I am here to show you memes from all over the internet and I shall decide if the meme is Fine or Foul. Today, we will be looking at the famous entity known only as Slender Man. Now, before we can talk about Slender Man, we need to talk about the origin of how he became just a picture to one of the biggest internet celebrity. On a forum known as Something Awful, a user posted a picture of a group of kids with an odd looking man in the back. The title of the photo was known as Slender Man. Since then, he started getting more and more famous.
The...
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