Tom: Welcome back everyone. We have two more episodes of On The Block to share with you. We won't be coming back until the 26th. Until then, enjoy what we got for you.
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Master Sword: Happy 4th of July!
Tom: We already passed that.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: *Angry* SINCE WHEN?!!?
Tom: Since last Saturday?
Master Sword: *Has smoke coming out of his ears, and catches on fire* RAAAAAGE!!!!!!!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Save that for The Story Of Corporal Agarn.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: We have three special guest stars that will appear later on in this show, but right now, we must do the crossover parody.
Master Sword: Yes, you see, we got in trouble with Warner Brothers for using two of their movies for this Crossover Parody.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: And we must show it before they send an assassin out here to kill us.
Master Sword: The crossover parody we're talking about is Dirty Harry Potter.
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: Let's get it started!
Dirty Harry Potter
Starring Sean The Hedgehog as Harry Potter
Saten Twist as Draco Malfoy
Blaze as Severus Snape
Tom Foolery as Ron Weasley
Snow Wonder as Hermione Granger
And special guest star, Nikki West as Ron's sister that ends up marrying Harry in the ending of The Deadly Hallows part 2. Also known as Ginny.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ron: *Walking down a hallway in Hogwarts* It seems to be very cloudy today. Why can't anypony in England get more pleasant weather?
Hermione: Because we live in a country that strives for perfection, and having a boring cloudy day is perfect for all of us British ponies.
Audience: *Laughing*
Draco: *Arrives* You're coming with me. *Uses a magic spell to make them fall asleep*
Meanwhile in Snape's office.
Harry: What did you call me down here for?
Snape: Listen to this. *Plays a message on his phone*
Draco: I have kidnapped twelve students from Gryffindor. I'm going to take them away from here, and if anyone tries to stop me, they all die. *Hangs up*
Harry: What are we going to do?
Snape: Nothing.
Harry: You call me down to your office just to tell me that Malfoy is kidnapping students, and you won't do a damn thing about it?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Snape: *Pleased with himself* Yes.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: *Leaves*
Draco got all of the kidnapped students onto a flying bus.
Ginny: Where are you taking us?
Draco: Somewhere magical.
Ron: I have a feeling he wants us dead.
Draco: Damnit, you figured out what I had planned!
Hermione: Well, why are you taking us somewhere to be killed? Can't you just kill us now?
Audience: *Laughing*
Draco: Nope. Obviously, no one is trying to save you, so I have nothing to worry about.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: *Arriving on his broom*
Unimportant Gryffindor Pony: Look! It's Harry Potter!
Draco: Shut up. You're not supposed to have any dialogue.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: *Lands on top of the bus*
Draco: *Loses his sanity* AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *Makes the bus go down onto a road, and crashes into a Volkswagen*
Harry: *Nearly falls off*
Draco: He's not even a pony. Why is he in Hogwarts?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Draco was too busy being angry to notice that he was about to crash into a pile of gravel.
Draco: *Crashes into the gravel*
Harry: *Falls into the gravel*
Draco: *Runs out of the bus*
Harry: *Runs after Draco*
Ron: Go after him Harry.
Hermione: Be quiet Ron. We're supposed to do nothing while Harry defeats Malfoy.
Ron: Why are we doing nothing?
Hermione: Because we're no longer important to the story.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry & Draco: *Shooting at each other with wands*
Draco: *Runs down a hill*
Harry: Forget magic. I need something better. *Grabs a gun*
Audience: *Gasping*
Harry: It's alright. It's just a prop.
Audience: *Quietly laughing*
Draco: *Grabs a colt, and points his wand at his head* Harry Potter! Drop your, wait, where's your wand?
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: *Shoots Draco*
Draco: *Falls down, letting go of the colt, and watches him run away*
Harry: *Points his gun at Draco*
Draco: I thought that was a prop.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: It's a .44 magnum. The most powerful hand gun in all of Equestria, and will blow your head clean off.
Draco: I thought the 500 was more powerful.
Harry: Who cares? They're both by Smith & Wesson.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: *Shoots Draco*
Draco: *Dies*
Harry: Why couldn't we have that instead of a fight against Voldemort?
The End
On the next part of this episode
Tom Foolery has a dream.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on street corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing next to Double Scoop*
Tom: More ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands next to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
Sean: *Lands behind Astrel Sky with a parachute*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
The episode starts, with some of the ponies having dreams.
Saten Twist: *In his house. His dream is about hippies* No! Go away you annoying assholes! You won't get my chainsaw!
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: *At his house. His dream is about not being angry* this is a nightmare. I can't go on a rage!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *At his house, humming the CHiPs theme song*
Inside his dream
Tom: *Looks at himself dressed as a police officer on a motorcycle, then looks at Master Sword* Is it me, or am I dreaming?
Master Sword: *Looks around* I hope you're dreaming, because I hate Los Angeles!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Why do you hate Los Angeles?
Master Sword: No reason.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *Confused* Okay.
This car was heading towards Tom, and Master Sword, being driven by Nikki West.
Tom: That '56 Bel Air is speeding.
Master Sword: It's going 80 miles an hour. Let's get 'em.
Tom: There's just one pony driving Master Sword. We can't get "em" We can get her.
Audience: *Laughing*
Song (Start it at 0:05): link
As Nikki turns left leading onto a road going to a highway at 75 miles an hour, Tom, and Master Sword follow her.
Master Sword: LA 15-7 Mary 4, Rogue 10-29, Sam Adam Ocean, 476.
Tom: (His voice changed)
Audience: *Laughing*
Nikki: *Enters the highway*
Tom & Master Sword: *Behind Nikki*
Dispatch: 15-7 Mary 4, 10-36 on Sam Adam Ocean, 476. Your 10-20?
Master Sword: *Listens to Tom talking on the radio, and thinks in his head* (What the hell is with all those numbers?!)
Audience: *Laughing*
Nikki: *Turns right onto another highway*
Tom & Master Sword: *Follows Nikki*
Dispatch: Ten-4 7 Mary 3.
Episode 22: Hi. My Name Is....
Special guest stars
Nikki West from Jade_23
Larry Wilcox from SeanTheHedgehog
Erik Estrada from SeanTheHedgehog
Tom: *Catching up to Nikki*
Master Sword: *Behind Tom*
Nikki: *Passes a Chrysler, and two trucks*
Tom & Master Sword: *Behind Nikki*
Nikki: *Turns off a highway*
Master Sword: You know what? This is getting boring! I quit!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Master Sword?!!!?
Stop the song
Tom: *Wakes up in his bed, realizing he just had a dream* F**k. Leave it to Master Sword to screw things up.
Later on in the day, Tom was walking downtown in Ponyville, and saw Larry Wilcox, and Erik Estrada.
Tom: *Gets excited, and screams like a fangirl*
Audience: *Laughing*
Larry & Erik: *Staring at Tom*
Tom: I remember you!
Larry: Yeah. You starred as one of the bad guys in the CHiPs movie we did.
Erik: What's up?
Tom: I had a dream that me, and Master Sword we're doing your jobs, and he just quit.
Larry: What made him do that?
Tom: He said chasing this mare in a '56 Chevy was boring.
Erik: How can you get bored by that?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Erik: A nice mare? A nice car? What does he have to be bored about?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Larry: At least it was just a dream, and not the real thing.
Tom: You're telling me. Hey listen, me, and some other ponies have to do a few skits. May we talk later?
Larry: Absolutely.
Erik: I want to be in some of the skits!
Tom: I thought you had things to do, being a celebrity, and all.
Larry: We don't get to star in many movies, or TV shows.
Tom: Alright then, today is your lucky day.
Song (Start it at 2:08): link
Tom: *Looks at the audience* Larry Wilcox, and Erik Estrada are going to join us today folks!
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: The first skit will be Celebrity Jeopardy! Don't go away!
Audience: *Whistling, cheering, and clapping*
Tom: *Hears a lion roar* Ignore that. The director got high on weed, and decided to buy a lion as a pet.
Audience: *Laughing*
Our cast for this Celebrity Jeopardy skit is
Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, a fake white mustache, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game show wheel.)
Nikki West as Pink
Larry Wilcox & Erik Estrada as Theirselves
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: And welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I am happy to announce that for the very first time in this show, Sean the hedgehog will not be joining us. He's busy starting a new movie called The Incredible Hedgehog In Ponyville. So I don't have to worry about him making sexual threats to my grand daughter.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: With that said, let's take a look at the scores. Pink is in second place with negative $55,555.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pink: Why don't you have any categories about the color pink? I'd be in first place by now.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Sure. In first place with 3 dollars, Larry Wilcox.
Audience: *Cheering, and whistling*
Larry: Alex, it's really great to be here. I heard that when you play this game for charity, I instantly had to join, and-
Alex: *Not interested* Intersting.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And finally, Erik Estrada with negative $123,456.
Audience: *Laughing*
Erik: Hey that's bullshit man. Every answer I gave you was correct!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No they were not. Now let's move onto Double Jeopardy. The categories for this game are..
POTENT POTABLES
THE DOLLAR BILL
MOVIES STARRING TOM HANKS
PILLOWS
CAR COMPANIES THAT BEGIN IN DODGE
CAR COMPANIES THAT END IN DODGE
And finally, ARTWORK BY LEONARDO DA VINCI
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Mr. Wilcox, you're in the lead, so we'll start with you.
Larry: Okay, how about 800?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: For which category?
Larry: Just pick one. I don't care.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: You don't care. Okay. Car companies that begin in Dodge for 800.
Larry: Actually, I wanna do Car companies that end in Dodge.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Fine. Car companies that end in Dodge for 800. This car company has a name that ends in Dodge.
Erik: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. Estrada?
Erik: Kawasaki!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Rings the wrong answer buzzer* They don't even make cars.
Pink: *Rings in*
Alex: Pink?
Pink: Yes, what can I do for you?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: You buzzed in.
Pink: Really? I don't remember doing that.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Well, you did. *Hears a buzzer go off three times* And you ran out of time.
Larry: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. Wilcox?
Larry: I wanted to do Car companies that begin in Dodge. I realized that would be easier than the category we're doing now.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Well, since you can't make up your mind, we're not gonna let you pick anymore categories. Pink, why don't you pick a category?
Pink: Fartwork by Leonardo Dicaprio for 1,000.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: You should be ashamed of yourself. Okay, let's go with Movies Starring Tom Hanks for 600. This actor starred in Forrest Gump.
Pink: *Rings in*
Alex: Yes Pink?
Pink: I actually have proof that Leonardo Dicaprio-
Alex: Let me stop you right there, and continue the game.
Audience: *Laughing*
Larry: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. Wilcox?
Larry: Eh, who is...
Alex: Yes?
Larry: Tom...
Alex: You're almost there! Go on!
Larry: I got it. Who is Tom Cruise?
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: NO!!! The answer was Tom Hanks!!
Erik: Hey! I would have gotten that!
Alex: No you would not have gotten that.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's end this, and go to final jeopardy. The category is your favorite drink.
Final jeopardy music began to play.
Alex: There's no way this can go wrong.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: There are a lot of drinks, so pick one. It could be water, Sprite, rootbeer, anything. Just please get the right answer.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay, let's start with Larry Wilcox, and you wrote down.. *Looks at Larry's podium* Actually, he drew something. It appears to be a pick up truck.
Audience: *Laughing*
Larry: You always gotta go with GMC, or Chevy. They make the best trucks in all of Equestria.
Alex: *Bored* I'll keep that in mind. Pink, your favorite drink is.. *Sees Pink's pen is missing*
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Where's your pen?
Pink: What pen?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The pen attached to your podium. Where is it?
Pink: Oh, uh..
Alex: You know what? Forget it. I'll ask Nicholas Cage after the game.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And finally, Erik Estrada. You wrote down, *Sees a drawing of himself being executed by guillotine*
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and cheering*
Alex: All you had to do was write down your favorite drink.
Erik: I did. It's beer. You can see that, because that's what you're carrying with your hooves just before your head gets cut off.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Disgusted* Right.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's it for Jeopardy. Sean, if you're watching this, please come back.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Up next, it's The Story of Corporal Agarn
The Story of Corporal Agarn
Theme song
Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn
Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic Rainbow as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
Sean as Chief Wild Eagle
and Sonic as Crazy Cat
Special guest stars Nikki West as Nikki East, and Larry Wilcox as Nicholas McWalker
Corporal Vanderbilt was handing everypony letters. Everypony was standing in formation.
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Gives Corporal Dobbs a letter* Here you are Duffy.
Corporal Dobbs: I ain't Duffy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Vanderbilt: Sorry Sarge.
Corporal Dobbs: I ain't O' Rourke either.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Gives Corporal Agarn a letter* Here you go Dobbs.
Corporal Agarn: I'm Agarn Vanderbilt! You already gave Dobbs his letter!
Corporal Dobbs: *Reads his letter* Oh no.
Corporal Agarn: Must be terrible news.
Corporal Dobbs: They won't be able to repair my bugle until next week!
Corporal Agarn: I take it back. It's not bad.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: *Reads his letter* Dear Randolph. You spend too much time in the army. If you don't get discharged soon, I will divorce you. Nikki East. My wife wants to divorce me!
Captain Parmenter: *Arrives* What's wrong Agarn?
Corporal Agarn: My wife wants to divorce me unless I'm discharged.
Captain Parmenter: You must be really upset about this.
Corporal Agarn: I'm not. I'm angry! I want to go-
Captain Parmenter: Please don't say it.
Corporal Agarn: On...
Captain Parmenter: Okay, you're not gonna listen to me. Never mind.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: A... *Causes an explosion behind him* RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
He went with Sargent O' Rourke to Nikki's house.
Nikki: Randolph! *Runs to Corporal Agarn, and kisses him* Did you get discharged?
Corporal Agarn: Not yet.
Nikki: Well why not?
Corporal Agarn: It's much more complicated then you think it is.
Nicholas: *Arrives* Darling, who is this?
Nikki: This is my husband, Randolph.
Corporal Agarn: *Points at Nicholas* And who are you, might I ask?!
Nicholas: A friend. Nicholas McWalker.
Sargent O' Rourke: Hey. Are you Irish just like me?
Nicholas: Yes. It should be obvious by the mc in my last name.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nikki: If you don't get discharged, I'll divorce you, and marry Nicholas.
Corporal Agarn: But honey, it takes a long time to get discharged. I'm not in control of it. If I was, that would be great, because I really don't wanna deal with Dobbs, and his bugle.
Sargent O' Rourke: It was damaged. Remember?
Corporal Agarn: Oh yeah. I was too busy being angry to remember.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: The point is, Corporal Agarn loves you just as much as you love him. You shouldn't let his career get in the way of your love. Just because he's far away, doesn't mean he doesn't wanna spend time with you.
Corporal Agarn: But we weren't far away. We just had to walk for half a minute.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: I had to make it sound romantic.
Corporal Agarn: Being far away does not make anything romantic.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nikki: *Has a tear come out of her eye* Very touching. Randolph, your Sargent is right. I won't divorce you to marry Nicholas.
Corporal Agarn: Oh, good.
Nikki: Instead, I'll divorce you to marry Sargent O' Rourke!
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: Sargent! I thought we were working together on this!
Sargent O' Rourke: Sorry. I did everything I could.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the bugle poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning you Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*
Up next, it's The Movie Studio
The Movie Studio
Starring
Blaze as Director Nick
Astrel Sky as Roxy
Saten Twist as Connor
Tom Foolery as Louis
Cosmic Rainbow as Tobias "Toby"
Sunny as Alinah
Double Scoop as Mason
And Aina as Leah
Special guest star Erik Estrada as Kasey Red
Director Nick was directing a movie about police officers.
Nick: Okay, Connor, here's what's gonna happen-
Roxy: *Arrives* Sir, we're missing a camera.
Nick: Which one?
Roxy: Camera 5.
Nick: Shit. I need that camera for the movie I'm directing. It's got the most ammount of film in it, and I can't buy anymore film.
Roxy: Don't you have any money?
Nick: Have you ever tried buying film?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Connor: How are we going to film this movie?
Nick: I'm not sure. Though I do have a hunch on who stole it.
They go to the Warner Brothers movie studio.
Kasey: Haha! We have successfully stolen a camera from MGM. Now we shall make a film that will knock the socks off of everypony. Wait a minute, nopony wears socks.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nick: *Arrives with Connor, and Louis* You stole one of our cameras!
Kasey: Of course I did. What do you think I don't know that already?
Audience: *Laughing*
Louis: Give it back to us.
Kasey: No way. This belongs to me now.
Connor: Not if I have anything to say about it. *Grabs a chainsaw, and turns it on, pointing it towards Kasey*
Louis: Seriously? I think you use those things too much.
Nick: Yeah, you're making it overrated.
Audience: *Laughing*
Connor: It was either this, or an axe.
Audience: *Laughing*
Kasey: *Runs away*
Nick: The camera is ours.
Kasey: *Returns with a gun* Guess again!
One generic fight scene later.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nick: Alright, let's start this. Rolling Downhill Scene 1, take 1, action. *Tries to film what's going on, but realizes the camera has no film* You must be joking!
Connor: What's wrong?
Nick: I just remembered this camera has the least amount of film. Camera 2 has the most amount.
Audience: *Laughing*
Coming up next, it's the bloopers.
Tom: Blooper time. Since Larry Wilcox, and Erik Estrada were two of the special guest stars in this show, we have a song to play during the bloopers, just for them.
Song: link
Tom: Wrong, wrong, wrong!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: The CHiPs music.
Song: link
Master Sword: Happy 5th of July!
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: *Angry* OH SHIT I GOT IT WRONG!!!
---
Draco: *Loses his sanity* AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *Makes the bus go down onto a road, but crashes into a tree*
Director: Cut.
Harry: *Gets out of the bus* Who gave Malfoy a license?
Audience: *Laughing*
Take 2
Draco: *Loses his sanity* AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *Makes the bus go down onto a road, and crashes into a Volkswagen*
Ron: *Vomits on Draco* I'm getting sick of your pathetic driving.
Audience: *Laughing*
---
Master Sword: *At his house. His dream is about not being angry* this is a nightmare. I can go on a rage! *Wakes up* Did I say I can instead of can't? I'm sorry.
Audience: *Laughing*
Take 2
Master Sword: *At his house. His dream is about not being angry* this is an outrage. I can't go on a rage! *Catches on fire* Oh, never mind, I'm going on one right now.
Audience: *Laughing*
---
Alex: Okay, let's go with Movies Starring Tom Hanks for 600. This actor starred in Forrest Gump.
Larry: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. Wilcox?
Larry: Eh, who is...
Alex: Yes?
Larry: Tom...
Alex: You're almost there! Go on!
Larry: I got it. Who is Tom Reilly?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Who is that?
Larry: The guy that replaced me on CHiPs.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I think you should say Tom Cruise instead. Can we do that scene again?
---
Alex: That's it for Jeopardy. Sean, if you're watching this, please come back.
Sean: *Arrives* I'm back Trebek!
Audience: *Cheering*
Alex: Thank goodness. I really missed you.
Sean: I missed you too Alex, but it was also fun to have sex with your grand daughter during filming of my new movie.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
---
Nikki: Randolph! *Runs to Corporal Agarn, but trips*
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *Walks onto the stage* She's trying to take my character away!
Audience: *Laughing*
---
Kasey: Haha! We have successfully stolen a camera from MGM. Now we shall make a film that will knock the socks off of everypony. Wait a minute, nopony wears socks.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sexy Mare: *Walks onto the stage wearing socks* What about me?
Director: No! Cut, cut, cut!!
Kasey: What? I'm having a great time!
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
---
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: It feels great to be back everypony.
Master Sword: Now we're starting off season 2.
Audience: *Cheers*
Tom: Today's crossover parody, Top Queer.
Audience: *Laughs*
Master Sword: This crossover parody combines Top Gear with Glee.
Audience: *Laughs*
Tom: And begin.
Top Queer
Starring Tom Foolery as Jeremy Clarkson
Master Sword as James May
Saten Twist as Richard Hammond
Mortomis as Will Schuester
Snow Wonder as Sue Sylvester
Cosmic Rainbow as Blaine Anderson
Aina as Rachel Berry
Sunny as Santana Lopez
Blaze as Kurt Hummel
At the Top Gear studio
Audience: *Cheering*
Jeremy: Hello everypony, and thank you for coming. Now, we have a problem.
Richard: We always have a problem.
Jeremy: Well this one is not related to cars.
James: There's a first.
Jeremy: Now the letter I have received here says Dear Top Gear. We hate your theme song, and want to make a new one for you. Signed-
The Glee characters blew a hole through a wall, scaring off all of the audience members.
Sue: Hell yeah, we just did that.
Audience: *Laughing*
James: Well, at least the On The Block audience didn't leave.
Audience: *Laughing*
Jeremy: What do you want?
Will: We want to make a new theme song for you.
Richard: We like our theme song just the way it is, now please leave.
Sue: No.
Richard: I said please, you have to leave.
Audience: *Laughing*
Jeremy: Security!
James: They ran away with the audience.
Audience: *Laughing*
Jeremy: Shit.
Rachel: That's not a nice word to say. We want to help you, and you're being mean.
Jeremy: Since when does it help to blow a hole into our wall?
Audience: *Laughing*
Kurt: You're not being very nice.
Richard: Neither are you assholes!
Santana: What's it gonna take for you to let us create a theme song for you?
Jeremy: A race.
Richard: The three of us against three of you.
Sue: There's only six of us.
Jeremy: Then which one of you six is gay, or lesbian?
Kurt, Rachel, and Santana: *Raises their hooves*
James: Perfect.
Audience: *Laughing*
Jeremy: Then you three can't race.
Santana: *Gasp* Why not?
Rachel: Say you're sorry.
Jeremy: No thanks, but I will do one thing for you. *Punches Rachel*
Audience: *Laughing*
Kurt: You're rude. I'm going to masturbate. *Leaves*
Audience: *Laughing*
Jeremy: And that's why he's not allowed to race.
Richard: Let's continue on.
It was a relay race. Jeremy, Richard, and James against Will, Sue, and Blaine.
Jeremy: One thing that concerns me is that James' car is a Fiat Panda.
Audience: *Laughing*
Richard: We're not going to win.
Jeremy: Okay, the rules are simple. Follow the road, and go as fast as you can in your vehicles.
Others: Okay.
First off was Jeremy against Sue.
Jeremy: *In a Mustang GT500*
Sue: *In a hummer*
Flag Pony: 3. 2.
Jeremy: *Drives off*
Audience: *Laughing*
Sue: That's cheating!
Flag Pony: Shut up. Now I gotta start all the way from 3 again.
Sue: WHAAT?!!?
Audience: *Laughing*
Flag Pony: 3..........
Sue: Hurry up!!!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Flag Pony: 2..........
Audience: *Laughing*
Sue: Forget this. *Drives away*
Jeremy: *Arrives in his car* Go James!
James: *Driving his car, but it only goes ten miles an hour*
Audience: *Laughing*
Jeremy: I was worried about this.
So Jeremy decided to cheat without anyone noticing.
Jeremy: *Goes to Blaine's Corvette, and lets air leak out one of the tires. He then makes a troll face while sliding away*
Audience: *Laughing*
Blaine: Wait a minute. *Gets out of his car, and sees air coming out of one tire* This is impossible. I need to refill the tire quickly.
Sue: *Arrives* Go Will!
Will: I'm gonna win. *Driving a jeep, but James crashes into his car*
Jeremy: I should have warned you. Part of the track crosses over itself.
Audience: *Laughing*
Jeremy's team won, and all of the Glee fans killed their selves when they heard about this.
The End
On the next part of this episode, a new character appears.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on street corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing next to Double Scoop*
Tom: More ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands next to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
The episode begins with Tom, and Master Sword standing in front of their house.
Tom: There's a new character we'd like to-
Master Sword: Hold everything!
Tom: What is it?
Master Sword: The title of the episode didn't appear.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: You're right, it didn't. Now how is that possible?
Master Sword: I don't know. That's why I'm scared!
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Arrives in his car*
Episode 14: The Train Leaves In Five Minutes
Master Sword: Never mind, I see the episode number, and title.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: It's above Saten Twist's car.
Saten Twist: *Gets out of car* Good morning everypony.
Tom: Hey Saten. Do you have the new character for this show?
Saten Twist: I sure do. You remember that grey hedgehog in the Celebrity Jeopardy skits, right?
Master Sword: Yeah.
Tom: Yes.
Saten Twist: Well he's going to make more appearances now. Meet Sean the hedgehog.
Audience: *Cheers*
Sean: *Exits Saten Twist's car* What's going on everybody?
Master Sword: I don't think anything is going on me so far.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: Then who wants to watch a movie?
Ponies came from everywhere to answer his question.
Aina: Yes!
Snow Wonder: I love movies!
Cosmic Rainbow: What are we watching?!?
Sean: Macfarland U.S.E.
Ponies: Yeah!!!!
After the movie
Blaze: That was awesome!
Sean: No. You're awesome!
Tom: Hey. Where did the audience go?
Audience: We're still here!
Tom: Good. Coming up next is Celebrity Jeopardy, so don't go away.
Audience: *Claps*
Our cast for this Celebrity Jeopardy skit is
Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game show wheel.)
Sean the hedgehog as himself (He's a famous war hero.)
Fluttershy as herself
and special guest star, Pierce Hawkins as Nicholas Cage
Alex: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I thought we were done with this, but Regis Philbin, that mongrel idiot.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Decided to do a celebrity millionaire.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And network competition being what it is, I stand before you, a broken, and miserable stallion.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: With that said, let's take a look at the scores. Sean the hedgehog has negative 16,500 dollars.
Sean: Damn you, and your daily doubles!
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: One day it'll be my turn Trebek.
Alex: Great. Fluttershy has an amazing negative 58,000 dollars. Good job.
Audience: *Laughing*
Fluttershy: *Talking very quietly* thank you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And finally, Nicholas Cage is in the lead with 8 dollars.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nicholas: You got lights, you got cameras. BITCHIN' TECHNOLOGY!!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: Don't know how you can get 8 dollars, but better luck to all of you in the next round.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: It's time for double jeopardy. Let's take a look at the board. And the categories are..
Potent Potables
The Pen Is Mightier
Alex: That category is quotes from famous authors, so you'll all probably be more comfortable with our next category...
Shiny Objects
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Continuing with
Opposites
Things You Shouldn't Put In Your Mouth
What Time Is It
And finally, Months That Start With Feb.
Audience: *Laughs*
Alex: Mr. Cage, you're in the lead, so we'll start with you.
Nicholas: Who? Why? Where?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay. Fluttershy, why don't you pick a category?
Fluttershy: *Scared* Uh, no. I'll pass.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay, you'll pass. Smart move. Sean, why don't you pick?
Sean: Ah, well met.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: I'll take months that start with Feb Trebek.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: For how much?
Sean: Surprise me you filthy bastard.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay that's completely unnecessary.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Months that start with Feb for 800. This is the only month that starts with Feb.
Sean: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. The Hedgehog?
Sean: Febtober!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No.
Fluttershy: *Rings in*
Alex: Flutershy?
Fluttershy: What is... Febturday?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: *Laughs*
Alex: No.
Sean: She said turd!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *To Sean* I hate you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The answer was February. That's the only month that starts with Feb. It was last month.
Sean: Aha, a trick question!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Yes, it was a trick question Mr. The Hedgehog. Why don't you pick a category?
Sean: I've gotta ask you, about the penis mightier.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: What? No. That's the pen is mightier.
Sean: Call it whatever you want Trebek. What matters is does it work?
Audience: Ohh!! *Clapping*
Sean: Will it really mighty my penis man?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: It's not a product Mr. The Hedgehog.
Sean: Cause I've heard of devices like that before. Wasted a pretty penny, I don't mind telling you, and if the penis mighter really works I'll order a dozen!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: It's not a penis mightier Mr. The Hedgehog. There's no such thing.
Nicholas: Wait wait wait. Are you selling penis mightiers?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No! No I am not.
Sean: Well you're sitting on a goldmine Trebek!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: alright. I'll tell you what, let's move on to final jeopardy. It should be a lot of fun.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And the category is, the federalist papers.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Wait. You know what? I'm sorry, that's for regular jeopardy we're filming later today. Your category is Humans.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: All you have to do is tell me, are humans pretty?
Audience: *Laughing*
The jeopardy theme played while everyone answered the question.
Alex: Yes, or no. We'll except either answer. Are humans pretty? Keep in mind, there's no wrong answer. Humans.
The bell rang
Alex: Alright, let's see what everypony wrote, Mr. Cage, we'll start with you... And your podium is gone.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Nicholas: I know where it went! I can search for it!
Alex: You lost your podium.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: You know what? I don't care. Let's move on. Fluttershy-
Fluttershy: *Nervous* What? What?
Alex: Settle down, just relax.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: You wrote....... Nothing.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And you wagered..... Nothing.
Audience: *Laughing*
Fluttershy: The pen was too heavy.
Audience: Aww, *Laughs*
Alex: Fair enough. Mr. The Hedgehog.
Sean: We meet again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's see your answer. *Looks at his answer* I guess that's your wager. A buck. Fine, and your answer is, futter.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Buck futter.
Audience: Ooooh!! YEAH!
Alex: I don't get it.
Sean: Oh, I think you do. You do indeed.
Alex: Well thanks for joining us-
Sean: Buck futter!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Fine. Whatever. That's it for Celebrity Jeopardy. I don't know.
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
Coming up next, it's The Story Of Corporal Agarn.
The Story of Corporal Agarn
Theme song
Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn
Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic Rainbow as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
And introducing the hedgehogs as the Indians.
Sean as Chief Wild Eagle
and Sonic as Crazy Cat
Corporal Agarn was helping Captain Parmenter put weapons in the supply room when this happened.
Dobbs: *Playing his bugle*
Corporal Agarn: You think that five hours of practice would help him get better, but no! With Dobbs, it's the complete opposite!
Audience: *Laughing*
Dobbs: *Stops playing bugle*
Corporal Agarn: Thank goodness.
Dobbs: *Looks at the sky* Hey Captain! Smoke!
Captain Parmenter: *Looks at smoke*
Dobbs: There's a fire up that hill!
Captain Parmenter: Oh there's no fire, that's just smoke signals from some indians.
Audience: *Laughing*
Dobbs: But still, we should act like it's a fire, and run away!
Half of the soldiers started running away.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: Some help you are to this army.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: *Looks at smoke*
Captain Parmenter: Can you understand what it says Sarge?
Sargent O' Rourke: Yeah. It's from a tribe of indians, and they want to go on warpath.
Corporal Agarn: Which path would you have to take to go to war?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: Never mind that, let's go.
The indians that created the smoke signal was the Hikawis.
Sargent O' Rourke: *Looks at indians*
Corporal Agarn: They don't look like they want to take any path towards a war.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: It's called a warpath.
Chief Wild Eagle: They are here everyone.
Indians: Yay!!
Corporal Agarn: They're cheering for us?
Sargent O' Rourke: What's going on here?
Crazy Cat: You saw our signals, and arrived.
Sargent O' Rourke: You said you wanted to go on a warpath.
Chief Wild Eagle: No, that was just to get you over here to join us.
Audience: *Laughing*
Crazy Cat: We want to party with you, and form an alliance.
Chief Wild Eagle: And do some trading of course.
Sargent O' Rourke: *His eyes turn into dollar signs*
Audience: *Laughing*
And so they partied, and everyone had a good time.
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the bugle poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning you Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*
Golfing
Starring Tom Foolery as Otis
Master Sword as Chip
Snow Wonder as Elena
Heartsong as Casey
Cosmic Rainbow as Olson
Mortomis as Caddy
Blaze as Mitchell
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: What are you laughing for? We didn't even start the skit yet.
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: What the hell are you doing?! If we didn't even start the skit, what makes you think it's the end?
Now the skit starts. At the Ponyville golf course, Mitchell, and Olson were playing against each other.
Mitchell: *Waiting to hit the ball as he hears a train's horn*
Olson: *Waiting*
Mitchell: *Hits the ball*
Olson: *Sees the ball land on the green*
Mitchell: Ha. You said I couldn't do it.
Olson: Oh, that's what I said half an hour ago.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mitchell: Idiot.
Olson: I bet you cheated.
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile, Otis, and Chip were two holes behind them on the 12th hole.
Chip: So I heard you had trouble with the audience, and producers.
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: Where did you hear that?
Chip: Oh, somewhere. Actually, I think it was the 11th hole. I'm not sure.
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: You mean you can't remember?
Chip: Do I look like a smart pony to you?
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: No.
Chip: Well there you go. Let's tee off.
Otis: *Spots Elena, and Casey* You do that, I'm going to jack off.
Audience: *Laughing*
Chip: What for? *Looks behind him, and sees Elena, and Casey* Oh. That's why.
Otis: So, how long have you sexy mares been playing this sport?
Elena: I played for four years.
Casey: Two years.
Otis: Oh yeah? I have been playing for three years. Right between you two.
Chip: Hey Otis. I thought you said you were going to jack off!
Audience: *Laughing*
Casey: What did he say?
Otis: He's drunk, forget him. *Runs to Chip* What the hell did you say that out loud for?
Chip: I was just repeating something you told me.
Otis: Yeah well, don't do that.
Chip: How come?
Otis: There are certain things you don't say outloud.
Chip: Well I told you I'm an idiot. I don't know any better.
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: *Walks to tee* Let's finish this hole.
Chip: *Looking away from Otis* Okay. Idiot.
Otis: And stop calling yourself an idiot.
Chip: I just did.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword, Tom, and Saten Twist were at Tom's house trying to make a cake.
Saten Twist: We need to have chocolate on this cake.
Master Sword: No we don't! Chocolate is bad.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: How could you say that?! Chocolate is the best flavor for everything!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Saten Twist: Aren't we forgetting something?
Tom: Frosting?
Saten Twist: I'm not talking about the cake. I mean the show.
Tom: Oh, that. Brony of the month. For March, it's BlondLionEzel.
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: When it comes to writing about My Little Pony with super heroes from Marvel, the possibilities are endless.
Master Sword: What are super heroes from Marvel?
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: Why don't you ask him? He knows basically everything about them.
Master Sword: Forget it, let's continue working on the cake.
Meanwhile, Sean was at the mansion he created for himself. It was near Fluttershy's cottage.
Mortomis: Whoa. This place is cool.
Sean: Yes it is. Soon, I might make my own airport by here. I'll have a collection of airplanes, and host an airshow once every month.
Mortomis: If they'll let you of course.
Sean: What's that supposed to mean?
Mortomis: You're not a pony.
Sean: Well Zecora isn't a pony, and they let her do whatever she wants.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: For all I know, she could get away with raping fillies.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Mortomis: *Sees a big model train layout* How much did this cost?
Sean: How much do you make in five years?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mortomis: Can I run one of the trains?
Sean: Of course.
Mortomis: Thanks.
Sean: But if you derail it, I'll kill you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *Walks into Sean's house, and looks at the camera* Hey, get back to us. Will you? *Walks away* God I love breaking the 4th wall.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Back at Tom's house
Master Sword: The cake is finished.
Tom: Good work.
Saten Twist: *Takes a slice, and eats it* Delicious.
Tom: All we need is some beer, and hot dogs to celebrate this Season 2 premiere.
Master Sword: With cake?
Audience: *Laughing*
Announcer: Okay fellas, time is up!
Tom: What?!
Announcer: The season 2 premiere is over. Go away!
Tom: Goddamnit. I didn't even get to have any cake.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
The End
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Master Sword: Happy 4th of July!
Tom: We already passed that.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: *Angry* SINCE WHEN?!!?
Tom: Since last Saturday?
Master Sword: *Has smoke coming out of his ears, and catches on fire* RAAAAAGE!!!!!!!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Save that for The Story Of Corporal Agarn.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: We have three special guest stars that will appear later on in this show, but right now, we must do the crossover parody.
Master Sword: Yes, you see, we got in trouble with Warner Brothers for using two of their movies for this Crossover Parody.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: And we must show it before they send an assassin out here to kill us.
Master Sword: The crossover parody we're talking about is Dirty Harry Potter.
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: Let's get it started!
Dirty Harry Potter
Starring Sean The Hedgehog as Harry Potter
Saten Twist as Draco Malfoy
Blaze as Severus Snape
Tom Foolery as Ron Weasley
Snow Wonder as Hermione Granger
And special guest star, Nikki West as Ron's sister that ends up marrying Harry in the ending of The Deadly Hallows part 2. Also known as Ginny.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ron: *Walking down a hallway in Hogwarts* It seems to be very cloudy today. Why can't anypony in England get more pleasant weather?
Hermione: Because we live in a country that strives for perfection, and having a boring cloudy day is perfect for all of us British ponies.
Audience: *Laughing*
Draco: *Arrives* You're coming with me. *Uses a magic spell to make them fall asleep*
Meanwhile in Snape's office.
Harry: What did you call me down here for?
Snape: Listen to this. *Plays a message on his phone*
Draco: I have kidnapped twelve students from Gryffindor. I'm going to take them away from here, and if anyone tries to stop me, they all die. *Hangs up*
Harry: What are we going to do?
Snape: Nothing.
Harry: You call me down to your office just to tell me that Malfoy is kidnapping students, and you won't do a damn thing about it?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Snape: *Pleased with himself* Yes.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: *Leaves*
Draco got all of the kidnapped students onto a flying bus.
Ginny: Where are you taking us?
Draco: Somewhere magical.
Ron: I have a feeling he wants us dead.
Draco: Damnit, you figured out what I had planned!
Hermione: Well, why are you taking us somewhere to be killed? Can't you just kill us now?
Audience: *Laughing*
Draco: Nope. Obviously, no one is trying to save you, so I have nothing to worry about.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: *Arriving on his broom*
Unimportant Gryffindor Pony: Look! It's Harry Potter!
Draco: Shut up. You're not supposed to have any dialogue.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: *Lands on top of the bus*
Draco: *Loses his sanity* AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *Makes the bus go down onto a road, and crashes into a Volkswagen*
Harry: *Nearly falls off*
Draco: He's not even a pony. Why is he in Hogwarts?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Draco was too busy being angry to notice that he was about to crash into a pile of gravel.
Draco: *Crashes into the gravel*
Harry: *Falls into the gravel*
Draco: *Runs out of the bus*
Harry: *Runs after Draco*
Ron: Go after him Harry.
Hermione: Be quiet Ron. We're supposed to do nothing while Harry defeats Malfoy.
Ron: Why are we doing nothing?
Hermione: Because we're no longer important to the story.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry & Draco: *Shooting at each other with wands*
Draco: *Runs down a hill*
Harry: Forget magic. I need something better. *Grabs a gun*
Audience: *Gasping*
Harry: It's alright. It's just a prop.
Audience: *Quietly laughing*
Draco: *Grabs a colt, and points his wand at his head* Harry Potter! Drop your, wait, where's your wand?
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: *Shoots Draco*
Draco: *Falls down, letting go of the colt, and watches him run away*
Harry: *Points his gun at Draco*
Draco: I thought that was a prop.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: It's a .44 magnum. The most powerful hand gun in all of Equestria, and will blow your head clean off.
Draco: I thought the 500 was more powerful.
Harry: Who cares? They're both by Smith & Wesson.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: *Shoots Draco*
Draco: *Dies*
Harry: Why couldn't we have that instead of a fight against Voldemort?
The End
On the next part of this episode
Tom Foolery has a dream.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on street corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing next to Double Scoop*
Tom: More ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands next to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
Sean: *Lands behind Astrel Sky with a parachute*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
The episode starts, with some of the ponies having dreams.
Saten Twist: *In his house. His dream is about hippies* No! Go away you annoying assholes! You won't get my chainsaw!
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: *At his house. His dream is about not being angry* this is a nightmare. I can't go on a rage!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *At his house, humming the CHiPs theme song*
Inside his dream
Tom: *Looks at himself dressed as a police officer on a motorcycle, then looks at Master Sword* Is it me, or am I dreaming?
Master Sword: *Looks around* I hope you're dreaming, because I hate Los Angeles!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Why do you hate Los Angeles?
Master Sword: No reason.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *Confused* Okay.
This car was heading towards Tom, and Master Sword, being driven by Nikki West.
Tom: That '56 Bel Air is speeding.
Master Sword: It's going 80 miles an hour. Let's get 'em.
Tom: There's just one pony driving Master Sword. We can't get "em" We can get her.
Audience: *Laughing*
Song (Start it at 0:05): link
As Nikki turns left leading onto a road going to a highway at 75 miles an hour, Tom, and Master Sword follow her.
Master Sword: LA 15-7 Mary 4, Rogue 10-29, Sam Adam Ocean, 476.
Tom: (His voice changed)
Audience: *Laughing*
Nikki: *Enters the highway*
Tom & Master Sword: *Behind Nikki*
Dispatch: 15-7 Mary 4, 10-36 on Sam Adam Ocean, 476. Your 10-20?
Master Sword: *Listens to Tom talking on the radio, and thinks in his head* (What the hell is with all those numbers?!)
Audience: *Laughing*
Nikki: *Turns right onto another highway*
Tom & Master Sword: *Follows Nikki*
Dispatch: Ten-4 7 Mary 3.
Episode 22: Hi. My Name Is....
Special guest stars
Nikki West from Jade_23
Larry Wilcox from SeanTheHedgehog
Erik Estrada from SeanTheHedgehog
Tom: *Catching up to Nikki*
Master Sword: *Behind Tom*
Nikki: *Passes a Chrysler, and two trucks*
Tom & Master Sword: *Behind Nikki*
Nikki: *Turns off a highway*
Master Sword: You know what? This is getting boring! I quit!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Master Sword?!!!?
Stop the song
Tom: *Wakes up in his bed, realizing he just had a dream* F**k. Leave it to Master Sword to screw things up.
Later on in the day, Tom was walking downtown in Ponyville, and saw Larry Wilcox, and Erik Estrada.
Tom: *Gets excited, and screams like a fangirl*
Audience: *Laughing*
Larry & Erik: *Staring at Tom*
Tom: I remember you!
Larry: Yeah. You starred as one of the bad guys in the CHiPs movie we did.
Erik: What's up?
Tom: I had a dream that me, and Master Sword we're doing your jobs, and he just quit.
Larry: What made him do that?
Tom: He said chasing this mare in a '56 Chevy was boring.
Erik: How can you get bored by that?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Erik: A nice mare? A nice car? What does he have to be bored about?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Larry: At least it was just a dream, and not the real thing.
Tom: You're telling me. Hey listen, me, and some other ponies have to do a few skits. May we talk later?
Larry: Absolutely.
Erik: I want to be in some of the skits!
Tom: I thought you had things to do, being a celebrity, and all.
Larry: We don't get to star in many movies, or TV shows.
Tom: Alright then, today is your lucky day.
Song (Start it at 2:08): link
Tom: *Looks at the audience* Larry Wilcox, and Erik Estrada are going to join us today folks!
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: The first skit will be Celebrity Jeopardy! Don't go away!
Audience: *Whistling, cheering, and clapping*
Tom: *Hears a lion roar* Ignore that. The director got high on weed, and decided to buy a lion as a pet.
Audience: *Laughing*
Our cast for this Celebrity Jeopardy skit is
Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, a fake white mustache, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game show wheel.)
Nikki West as Pink
Larry Wilcox & Erik Estrada as Theirselves
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: And welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I am happy to announce that for the very first time in this show, Sean the hedgehog will not be joining us. He's busy starting a new movie called The Incredible Hedgehog In Ponyville. So I don't have to worry about him making sexual threats to my grand daughter.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: With that said, let's take a look at the scores. Pink is in second place with negative $55,555.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pink: Why don't you have any categories about the color pink? I'd be in first place by now.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Sure. In first place with 3 dollars, Larry Wilcox.
Audience: *Cheering, and whistling*
Larry: Alex, it's really great to be here. I heard that when you play this game for charity, I instantly had to join, and-
Alex: *Not interested* Intersting.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And finally, Erik Estrada with negative $123,456.
Audience: *Laughing*
Erik: Hey that's bullshit man. Every answer I gave you was correct!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No they were not. Now let's move onto Double Jeopardy. The categories for this game are..
POTENT POTABLES
THE DOLLAR BILL
MOVIES STARRING TOM HANKS
PILLOWS
CAR COMPANIES THAT BEGIN IN DODGE
CAR COMPANIES THAT END IN DODGE
And finally, ARTWORK BY LEONARDO DA VINCI
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Mr. Wilcox, you're in the lead, so we'll start with you.
Larry: Okay, how about 800?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: For which category?
Larry: Just pick one. I don't care.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: You don't care. Okay. Car companies that begin in Dodge for 800.
Larry: Actually, I wanna do Car companies that end in Dodge.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Fine. Car companies that end in Dodge for 800. This car company has a name that ends in Dodge.
Erik: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. Estrada?
Erik: Kawasaki!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Rings the wrong answer buzzer* They don't even make cars.
Pink: *Rings in*
Alex: Pink?
Pink: Yes, what can I do for you?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: You buzzed in.
Pink: Really? I don't remember doing that.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Well, you did. *Hears a buzzer go off three times* And you ran out of time.
Larry: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. Wilcox?
Larry: I wanted to do Car companies that begin in Dodge. I realized that would be easier than the category we're doing now.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Well, since you can't make up your mind, we're not gonna let you pick anymore categories. Pink, why don't you pick a category?
Pink: Fartwork by Leonardo Dicaprio for 1,000.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: You should be ashamed of yourself. Okay, let's go with Movies Starring Tom Hanks for 600. This actor starred in Forrest Gump.
Pink: *Rings in*
Alex: Yes Pink?
Pink: I actually have proof that Leonardo Dicaprio-
Alex: Let me stop you right there, and continue the game.
Audience: *Laughing*
Larry: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. Wilcox?
Larry: Eh, who is...
Alex: Yes?
Larry: Tom...
Alex: You're almost there! Go on!
Larry: I got it. Who is Tom Cruise?
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: NO!!! The answer was Tom Hanks!!
Erik: Hey! I would have gotten that!
Alex: No you would not have gotten that.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's end this, and go to final jeopardy. The category is your favorite drink.
Final jeopardy music began to play.
Alex: There's no way this can go wrong.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: There are a lot of drinks, so pick one. It could be water, Sprite, rootbeer, anything. Just please get the right answer.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay, let's start with Larry Wilcox, and you wrote down.. *Looks at Larry's podium* Actually, he drew something. It appears to be a pick up truck.
Audience: *Laughing*
Larry: You always gotta go with GMC, or Chevy. They make the best trucks in all of Equestria.
Alex: *Bored* I'll keep that in mind. Pink, your favorite drink is.. *Sees Pink's pen is missing*
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Where's your pen?
Pink: What pen?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The pen attached to your podium. Where is it?
Pink: Oh, uh..
Alex: You know what? Forget it. I'll ask Nicholas Cage after the game.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And finally, Erik Estrada. You wrote down, *Sees a drawing of himself being executed by guillotine*
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and cheering*
Alex: All you had to do was write down your favorite drink.
Erik: I did. It's beer. You can see that, because that's what you're carrying with your hooves just before your head gets cut off.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Disgusted* Right.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's it for Jeopardy. Sean, if you're watching this, please come back.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Up next, it's The Story of Corporal Agarn
The Story of Corporal Agarn
Theme song
Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn
Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic Rainbow as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
Sean as Chief Wild Eagle
and Sonic as Crazy Cat
Special guest stars Nikki West as Nikki East, and Larry Wilcox as Nicholas McWalker
Corporal Vanderbilt was handing everypony letters. Everypony was standing in formation.
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Gives Corporal Dobbs a letter* Here you are Duffy.
Corporal Dobbs: I ain't Duffy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Vanderbilt: Sorry Sarge.
Corporal Dobbs: I ain't O' Rourke either.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Gives Corporal Agarn a letter* Here you go Dobbs.
Corporal Agarn: I'm Agarn Vanderbilt! You already gave Dobbs his letter!
Corporal Dobbs: *Reads his letter* Oh no.
Corporal Agarn: Must be terrible news.
Corporal Dobbs: They won't be able to repair my bugle until next week!
Corporal Agarn: I take it back. It's not bad.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: *Reads his letter* Dear Randolph. You spend too much time in the army. If you don't get discharged soon, I will divorce you. Nikki East. My wife wants to divorce me!
Captain Parmenter: *Arrives* What's wrong Agarn?
Corporal Agarn: My wife wants to divorce me unless I'm discharged.
Captain Parmenter: You must be really upset about this.
Corporal Agarn: I'm not. I'm angry! I want to go-
Captain Parmenter: Please don't say it.
Corporal Agarn: On...
Captain Parmenter: Okay, you're not gonna listen to me. Never mind.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: A... *Causes an explosion behind him* RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
He went with Sargent O' Rourke to Nikki's house.
Nikki: Randolph! *Runs to Corporal Agarn, and kisses him* Did you get discharged?
Corporal Agarn: Not yet.
Nikki: Well why not?
Corporal Agarn: It's much more complicated then you think it is.
Nicholas: *Arrives* Darling, who is this?
Nikki: This is my husband, Randolph.
Corporal Agarn: *Points at Nicholas* And who are you, might I ask?!
Nicholas: A friend. Nicholas McWalker.
Sargent O' Rourke: Hey. Are you Irish just like me?
Nicholas: Yes. It should be obvious by the mc in my last name.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nikki: If you don't get discharged, I'll divorce you, and marry Nicholas.
Corporal Agarn: But honey, it takes a long time to get discharged. I'm not in control of it. If I was, that would be great, because I really don't wanna deal with Dobbs, and his bugle.
Sargent O' Rourke: It was damaged. Remember?
Corporal Agarn: Oh yeah. I was too busy being angry to remember.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: The point is, Corporal Agarn loves you just as much as you love him. You shouldn't let his career get in the way of your love. Just because he's far away, doesn't mean he doesn't wanna spend time with you.
Corporal Agarn: But we weren't far away. We just had to walk for half a minute.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: I had to make it sound romantic.
Corporal Agarn: Being far away does not make anything romantic.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nikki: *Has a tear come out of her eye* Very touching. Randolph, your Sargent is right. I won't divorce you to marry Nicholas.
Corporal Agarn: Oh, good.
Nikki: Instead, I'll divorce you to marry Sargent O' Rourke!
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: Sargent! I thought we were working together on this!
Sargent O' Rourke: Sorry. I did everything I could.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the bugle poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning you Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*
Up next, it's The Movie Studio
The Movie Studio
Starring
Blaze as Director Nick
Astrel Sky as Roxy
Saten Twist as Connor
Tom Foolery as Louis
Cosmic Rainbow as Tobias "Toby"
Sunny as Alinah
Double Scoop as Mason
And Aina as Leah
Special guest star Erik Estrada as Kasey Red
Director Nick was directing a movie about police officers.
Nick: Okay, Connor, here's what's gonna happen-
Roxy: *Arrives* Sir, we're missing a camera.
Nick: Which one?
Roxy: Camera 5.
Nick: Shit. I need that camera for the movie I'm directing. It's got the most ammount of film in it, and I can't buy anymore film.
Roxy: Don't you have any money?
Nick: Have you ever tried buying film?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Connor: How are we going to film this movie?
Nick: I'm not sure. Though I do have a hunch on who stole it.
They go to the Warner Brothers movie studio.
Kasey: Haha! We have successfully stolen a camera from MGM. Now we shall make a film that will knock the socks off of everypony. Wait a minute, nopony wears socks.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nick: *Arrives with Connor, and Louis* You stole one of our cameras!
Kasey: Of course I did. What do you think I don't know that already?
Audience: *Laughing*
Louis: Give it back to us.
Kasey: No way. This belongs to me now.
Connor: Not if I have anything to say about it. *Grabs a chainsaw, and turns it on, pointing it towards Kasey*
Louis: Seriously? I think you use those things too much.
Nick: Yeah, you're making it overrated.
Audience: *Laughing*
Connor: It was either this, or an axe.
Audience: *Laughing*
Kasey: *Runs away*
Nick: The camera is ours.
Kasey: *Returns with a gun* Guess again!
One generic fight scene later.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nick: Alright, let's start this. Rolling Downhill Scene 1, take 1, action. *Tries to film what's going on, but realizes the camera has no film* You must be joking!
Connor: What's wrong?
Nick: I just remembered this camera has the least amount of film. Camera 2 has the most amount.
Audience: *Laughing*
Coming up next, it's the bloopers.
Tom: Blooper time. Since Larry Wilcox, and Erik Estrada were two of the special guest stars in this show, we have a song to play during the bloopers, just for them.
Song: link
Tom: Wrong, wrong, wrong!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: The CHiPs music.
Song: link
Master Sword: Happy 5th of July!
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: *Angry* OH SHIT I GOT IT WRONG!!!
---
Draco: *Loses his sanity* AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *Makes the bus go down onto a road, but crashes into a tree*
Director: Cut.
Harry: *Gets out of the bus* Who gave Malfoy a license?
Audience: *Laughing*
Take 2
Draco: *Loses his sanity* AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *Makes the bus go down onto a road, and crashes into a Volkswagen*
Ron: *Vomits on Draco* I'm getting sick of your pathetic driving.
Audience: *Laughing*
---
Master Sword: *At his house. His dream is about not being angry* this is a nightmare. I can go on a rage! *Wakes up* Did I say I can instead of can't? I'm sorry.
Audience: *Laughing*
Take 2
Master Sword: *At his house. His dream is about not being angry* this is an outrage. I can't go on a rage! *Catches on fire* Oh, never mind, I'm going on one right now.
Audience: *Laughing*
---
Alex: Okay, let's go with Movies Starring Tom Hanks for 600. This actor starred in Forrest Gump.
Larry: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. Wilcox?
Larry: Eh, who is...
Alex: Yes?
Larry: Tom...
Alex: You're almost there! Go on!
Larry: I got it. Who is Tom Reilly?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Who is that?
Larry: The guy that replaced me on CHiPs.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I think you should say Tom Cruise instead. Can we do that scene again?
---
Alex: That's it for Jeopardy. Sean, if you're watching this, please come back.
Sean: *Arrives* I'm back Trebek!
Audience: *Cheering*
Alex: Thank goodness. I really missed you.
Sean: I missed you too Alex, but it was also fun to have sex with your grand daughter during filming of my new movie.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
---
Nikki: Randolph! *Runs to Corporal Agarn, but trips*
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *Walks onto the stage* She's trying to take my character away!
Audience: *Laughing*
---
Kasey: Haha! We have successfully stolen a camera from MGM. Now we shall make a film that will knock the socks off of everypony. Wait a minute, nopony wears socks.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sexy Mare: *Walks onto the stage wearing socks* What about me?
Director: No! Cut, cut, cut!!
Kasey: What? I'm having a great time!
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
---
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: It feels great to be back everypony.
Master Sword: Now we're starting off season 2.
Audience: *Cheers*
Tom: Today's crossover parody, Top Queer.
Audience: *Laughs*
Master Sword: This crossover parody combines Top Gear with Glee.
Audience: *Laughs*
Tom: And begin.
Top Queer
Starring Tom Foolery as Jeremy Clarkson
Master Sword as James May
Saten Twist as Richard Hammond
Mortomis as Will Schuester
Snow Wonder as Sue Sylvester
Cosmic Rainbow as Blaine Anderson
Aina as Rachel Berry
Sunny as Santana Lopez
Blaze as Kurt Hummel
At the Top Gear studio
Audience: *Cheering*
Jeremy: Hello everypony, and thank you for coming. Now, we have a problem.
Richard: We always have a problem.
Jeremy: Well this one is not related to cars.
James: There's a first.
Jeremy: Now the letter I have received here says Dear Top Gear. We hate your theme song, and want to make a new one for you. Signed-
The Glee characters blew a hole through a wall, scaring off all of the audience members.
Sue: Hell yeah, we just did that.
Audience: *Laughing*
James: Well, at least the On The Block audience didn't leave.
Audience: *Laughing*
Jeremy: What do you want?
Will: We want to make a new theme song for you.
Richard: We like our theme song just the way it is, now please leave.
Sue: No.
Richard: I said please, you have to leave.
Audience: *Laughing*
Jeremy: Security!
James: They ran away with the audience.
Audience: *Laughing*
Jeremy: Shit.
Rachel: That's not a nice word to say. We want to help you, and you're being mean.
Jeremy: Since when does it help to blow a hole into our wall?
Audience: *Laughing*
Kurt: You're not being very nice.
Richard: Neither are you assholes!
Santana: What's it gonna take for you to let us create a theme song for you?
Jeremy: A race.
Richard: The three of us against three of you.
Sue: There's only six of us.
Jeremy: Then which one of you six is gay, or lesbian?
Kurt, Rachel, and Santana: *Raises their hooves*
James: Perfect.
Audience: *Laughing*
Jeremy: Then you three can't race.
Santana: *Gasp* Why not?
Rachel: Say you're sorry.
Jeremy: No thanks, but I will do one thing for you. *Punches Rachel*
Audience: *Laughing*
Kurt: You're rude. I'm going to masturbate. *Leaves*
Audience: *Laughing*
Jeremy: And that's why he's not allowed to race.
Richard: Let's continue on.
It was a relay race. Jeremy, Richard, and James against Will, Sue, and Blaine.
Jeremy: One thing that concerns me is that James' car is a Fiat Panda.
Audience: *Laughing*
Richard: We're not going to win.
Jeremy: Okay, the rules are simple. Follow the road, and go as fast as you can in your vehicles.
Others: Okay.
First off was Jeremy against Sue.
Jeremy: *In a Mustang GT500*
Sue: *In a hummer*
Flag Pony: 3. 2.
Jeremy: *Drives off*
Audience: *Laughing*
Sue: That's cheating!
Flag Pony: Shut up. Now I gotta start all the way from 3 again.
Sue: WHAAT?!!?
Audience: *Laughing*
Flag Pony: 3..........
Sue: Hurry up!!!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Flag Pony: 2..........
Audience: *Laughing*
Sue: Forget this. *Drives away*
Jeremy: *Arrives in his car* Go James!
James: *Driving his car, but it only goes ten miles an hour*
Audience: *Laughing*
Jeremy: I was worried about this.
So Jeremy decided to cheat without anyone noticing.
Jeremy: *Goes to Blaine's Corvette, and lets air leak out one of the tires. He then makes a troll face while sliding away*
Audience: *Laughing*
Blaine: Wait a minute. *Gets out of his car, and sees air coming out of one tire* This is impossible. I need to refill the tire quickly.
Sue: *Arrives* Go Will!
Will: I'm gonna win. *Driving a jeep, but James crashes into his car*
Jeremy: I should have warned you. Part of the track crosses over itself.
Audience: *Laughing*
Jeremy's team won, and all of the Glee fans killed their selves when they heard about this.
The End
On the next part of this episode, a new character appears.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on street corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing next to Double Scoop*
Tom: More ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands next to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
The episode begins with Tom, and Master Sword standing in front of their house.
Tom: There's a new character we'd like to-
Master Sword: Hold everything!
Tom: What is it?
Master Sword: The title of the episode didn't appear.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: You're right, it didn't. Now how is that possible?
Master Sword: I don't know. That's why I'm scared!
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Arrives in his car*
Episode 14: The Train Leaves In Five Minutes
Master Sword: Never mind, I see the episode number, and title.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: It's above Saten Twist's car.
Saten Twist: *Gets out of car* Good morning everypony.
Tom: Hey Saten. Do you have the new character for this show?
Saten Twist: I sure do. You remember that grey hedgehog in the Celebrity Jeopardy skits, right?
Master Sword: Yeah.
Tom: Yes.
Saten Twist: Well he's going to make more appearances now. Meet Sean the hedgehog.
Audience: *Cheers*
Sean: *Exits Saten Twist's car* What's going on everybody?
Master Sword: I don't think anything is going on me so far.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: Then who wants to watch a movie?
Ponies came from everywhere to answer his question.
Aina: Yes!
Snow Wonder: I love movies!
Cosmic Rainbow: What are we watching?!?
Sean: Macfarland U.S.E.
Ponies: Yeah!!!!
After the movie
Blaze: That was awesome!
Sean: No. You're awesome!
Tom: Hey. Where did the audience go?
Audience: We're still here!
Tom: Good. Coming up next is Celebrity Jeopardy, so don't go away.
Audience: *Claps*
Our cast for this Celebrity Jeopardy skit is
Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game show wheel.)
Sean the hedgehog as himself (He's a famous war hero.)
Fluttershy as herself
and special guest star, Pierce Hawkins as Nicholas Cage
Alex: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I thought we were done with this, but Regis Philbin, that mongrel idiot.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Decided to do a celebrity millionaire.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And network competition being what it is, I stand before you, a broken, and miserable stallion.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: With that said, let's take a look at the scores. Sean the hedgehog has negative 16,500 dollars.
Sean: Damn you, and your daily doubles!
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: One day it'll be my turn Trebek.
Alex: Great. Fluttershy has an amazing negative 58,000 dollars. Good job.
Audience: *Laughing*
Fluttershy: *Talking very quietly* thank you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And finally, Nicholas Cage is in the lead with 8 dollars.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nicholas: You got lights, you got cameras. BITCHIN' TECHNOLOGY!!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: Don't know how you can get 8 dollars, but better luck to all of you in the next round.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: It's time for double jeopardy. Let's take a look at the board. And the categories are..
Potent Potables
The Pen Is Mightier
Alex: That category is quotes from famous authors, so you'll all probably be more comfortable with our next category...
Shiny Objects
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Continuing with
Opposites
Things You Shouldn't Put In Your Mouth
What Time Is It
And finally, Months That Start With Feb.
Audience: *Laughs*
Alex: Mr. Cage, you're in the lead, so we'll start with you.
Nicholas: Who? Why? Where?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay. Fluttershy, why don't you pick a category?
Fluttershy: *Scared* Uh, no. I'll pass.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay, you'll pass. Smart move. Sean, why don't you pick?
Sean: Ah, well met.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: I'll take months that start with Feb Trebek.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: For how much?
Sean: Surprise me you filthy bastard.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay that's completely unnecessary.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Months that start with Feb for 800. This is the only month that starts with Feb.
Sean: *Rings in*
Alex: Mr. The Hedgehog?
Sean: Febtober!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No.
Fluttershy: *Rings in*
Alex: Flutershy?
Fluttershy: What is... Febturday?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: *Laughs*
Alex: No.
Sean: She said turd!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *To Sean* I hate you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The answer was February. That's the only month that starts with Feb. It was last month.
Sean: Aha, a trick question!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Yes, it was a trick question Mr. The Hedgehog. Why don't you pick a category?
Sean: I've gotta ask you, about the penis mightier.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: What? No. That's the pen is mightier.
Sean: Call it whatever you want Trebek. What matters is does it work?
Audience: Ohh!! *Clapping*
Sean: Will it really mighty my penis man?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: It's not a product Mr. The Hedgehog.
Sean: Cause I've heard of devices like that before. Wasted a pretty penny, I don't mind telling you, and if the penis mighter really works I'll order a dozen!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: It's not a penis mightier Mr. The Hedgehog. There's no such thing.
Nicholas: Wait wait wait. Are you selling penis mightiers?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No! No I am not.
Sean: Well you're sitting on a goldmine Trebek!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: alright. I'll tell you what, let's move on to final jeopardy. It should be a lot of fun.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And the category is, the federalist papers.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Wait. You know what? I'm sorry, that's for regular jeopardy we're filming later today. Your category is Humans.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: All you have to do is tell me, are humans pretty?
Audience: *Laughing*
The jeopardy theme played while everyone answered the question.
Alex: Yes, or no. We'll except either answer. Are humans pretty? Keep in mind, there's no wrong answer. Humans.
The bell rang
Alex: Alright, let's see what everypony wrote, Mr. Cage, we'll start with you... And your podium is gone.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Nicholas: I know where it went! I can search for it!
Alex: You lost your podium.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: You know what? I don't care. Let's move on. Fluttershy-
Fluttershy: *Nervous* What? What?
Alex: Settle down, just relax.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: You wrote....... Nothing.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And you wagered..... Nothing.
Audience: *Laughing*
Fluttershy: The pen was too heavy.
Audience: Aww, *Laughs*
Alex: Fair enough. Mr. The Hedgehog.
Sean: We meet again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's see your answer. *Looks at his answer* I guess that's your wager. A buck. Fine, and your answer is, futter.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Buck futter.
Audience: Ooooh!! YEAH!
Alex: I don't get it.
Sean: Oh, I think you do. You do indeed.
Alex: Well thanks for joining us-
Sean: Buck futter!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Fine. Whatever. That's it for Celebrity Jeopardy. I don't know.
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
Coming up next, it's The Story Of Corporal Agarn.
The Story of Corporal Agarn
Theme song
Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn
Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic Rainbow as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
And introducing the hedgehogs as the Indians.
Sean as Chief Wild Eagle
and Sonic as Crazy Cat
Corporal Agarn was helping Captain Parmenter put weapons in the supply room when this happened.
Dobbs: *Playing his bugle*
Corporal Agarn: You think that five hours of practice would help him get better, but no! With Dobbs, it's the complete opposite!
Audience: *Laughing*
Dobbs: *Stops playing bugle*
Corporal Agarn: Thank goodness.
Dobbs: *Looks at the sky* Hey Captain! Smoke!
Captain Parmenter: *Looks at smoke*
Dobbs: There's a fire up that hill!
Captain Parmenter: Oh there's no fire, that's just smoke signals from some indians.
Audience: *Laughing*
Dobbs: But still, we should act like it's a fire, and run away!
Half of the soldiers started running away.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: Some help you are to this army.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: *Looks at smoke*
Captain Parmenter: Can you understand what it says Sarge?
Sargent O' Rourke: Yeah. It's from a tribe of indians, and they want to go on warpath.
Corporal Agarn: Which path would you have to take to go to war?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: Never mind that, let's go.
The indians that created the smoke signal was the Hikawis.
Sargent O' Rourke: *Looks at indians*
Corporal Agarn: They don't look like they want to take any path towards a war.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: It's called a warpath.
Chief Wild Eagle: They are here everyone.
Indians: Yay!!
Corporal Agarn: They're cheering for us?
Sargent O' Rourke: What's going on here?
Crazy Cat: You saw our signals, and arrived.
Sargent O' Rourke: You said you wanted to go on a warpath.
Chief Wild Eagle: No, that was just to get you over here to join us.
Audience: *Laughing*
Crazy Cat: We want to party with you, and form an alliance.
Chief Wild Eagle: And do some trading of course.
Sargent O' Rourke: *His eyes turn into dollar signs*
Audience: *Laughing*
And so they partied, and everyone had a good time.
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the bugle poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning you Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*
Golfing
Starring Tom Foolery as Otis
Master Sword as Chip
Snow Wonder as Elena
Heartsong as Casey
Cosmic Rainbow as Olson
Mortomis as Caddy
Blaze as Mitchell
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: What are you laughing for? We didn't even start the skit yet.
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: What the hell are you doing?! If we didn't even start the skit, what makes you think it's the end?
Now the skit starts. At the Ponyville golf course, Mitchell, and Olson were playing against each other.
Mitchell: *Waiting to hit the ball as he hears a train's horn*
Olson: *Waiting*
Mitchell: *Hits the ball*
Olson: *Sees the ball land on the green*
Mitchell: Ha. You said I couldn't do it.
Olson: Oh, that's what I said half an hour ago.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mitchell: Idiot.
Olson: I bet you cheated.
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile, Otis, and Chip were two holes behind them on the 12th hole.
Chip: So I heard you had trouble with the audience, and producers.
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: Where did you hear that?
Chip: Oh, somewhere. Actually, I think it was the 11th hole. I'm not sure.
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: You mean you can't remember?
Chip: Do I look like a smart pony to you?
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: No.
Chip: Well there you go. Let's tee off.
Otis: *Spots Elena, and Casey* You do that, I'm going to jack off.
Audience: *Laughing*
Chip: What for? *Looks behind him, and sees Elena, and Casey* Oh. That's why.
Otis: So, how long have you sexy mares been playing this sport?
Elena: I played for four years.
Casey: Two years.
Otis: Oh yeah? I have been playing for three years. Right between you two.
Chip: Hey Otis. I thought you said you were going to jack off!
Audience: *Laughing*
Casey: What did he say?
Otis: He's drunk, forget him. *Runs to Chip* What the hell did you say that out loud for?
Chip: I was just repeating something you told me.
Otis: Yeah well, don't do that.
Chip: How come?
Otis: There are certain things you don't say outloud.
Chip: Well I told you I'm an idiot. I don't know any better.
Audience: *Laughing*
Otis: *Walks to tee* Let's finish this hole.
Chip: *Looking away from Otis* Okay. Idiot.
Otis: And stop calling yourself an idiot.
Chip: I just did.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword, Tom, and Saten Twist were at Tom's house trying to make a cake.
Saten Twist: We need to have chocolate on this cake.
Master Sword: No we don't! Chocolate is bad.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: How could you say that?! Chocolate is the best flavor for everything!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Saten Twist: Aren't we forgetting something?
Tom: Frosting?
Saten Twist: I'm not talking about the cake. I mean the show.
Tom: Oh, that. Brony of the month. For March, it's BlondLionEzel.
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: When it comes to writing about My Little Pony with super heroes from Marvel, the possibilities are endless.
Master Sword: What are super heroes from Marvel?
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: Why don't you ask him? He knows basically everything about them.
Master Sword: Forget it, let's continue working on the cake.
Meanwhile, Sean was at the mansion he created for himself. It was near Fluttershy's cottage.
Mortomis: Whoa. This place is cool.
Sean: Yes it is. Soon, I might make my own airport by here. I'll have a collection of airplanes, and host an airshow once every month.
Mortomis: If they'll let you of course.
Sean: What's that supposed to mean?
Mortomis: You're not a pony.
Sean: Well Zecora isn't a pony, and they let her do whatever she wants.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: For all I know, she could get away with raping fillies.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Mortomis: *Sees a big model train layout* How much did this cost?
Sean: How much do you make in five years?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mortomis: Can I run one of the trains?
Sean: Of course.
Mortomis: Thanks.
Sean: But if you derail it, I'll kill you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *Walks into Sean's house, and looks at the camera* Hey, get back to us. Will you? *Walks away* God I love breaking the 4th wall.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Back at Tom's house
Master Sword: The cake is finished.
Tom: Good work.
Saten Twist: *Takes a slice, and eats it* Delicious.
Tom: All we need is some beer, and hot dogs to celebrate this Season 2 premiere.
Master Sword: With cake?
Audience: *Laughing*
Announcer: Okay fellas, time is up!
Tom: What?!
Announcer: The season 2 premiere is over. Go away!
Tom: Goddamnit. I didn't even get to have any cake.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
The End
Unpa Lunpa doom-pa-de-do
I’ve got a perfect order for you
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dee
If you wish to live, you’ll listen to me
What can we do when our labor camps full
Unable to get children to produce our wool
Insurance Fraud is our get-rich-quick scheme
Scaring the people so I may haunt their dreams
The nuclear threats also make me glee
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dong
If you follow my laws, you will live long
You will be in daddy’s graces too
Like I, Unpa Lunpa, doom-pa-dee-do
I’ve got a perfect order for you
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dee
If you wish to live, you’ll listen to me
What can we do when our labor camps full
Unable to get children to produce our wool
Insurance Fraud is our get-rich-quick scheme
Scaring the people so I may haunt their dreams
The nuclear threats also make me glee
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dong
If you follow my laws, you will live long
You will be in daddy’s graces too
Like I, Unpa Lunpa, doom-pa-dee-do